Cindy Olson
The closer I drew to the God who loved me through Jesus, the more terrified I was of the damning, judging God of my childhood.
I began my walk with Christ at the age of 8, and I was baptized in Artesia,New Mexico. My older brother took us to church every Sunday. In the churchof my childhood, I accepted salvation in Christ and was alive with the HolySpirit. I also learned to fear God, to feel ashamed and unredeemable, tobelieve that God’s love depended on my compliance with the laws of the church,and to see the future as hopeless and threatening. I had many misperceptionsabout God from this background. Nonetheless, God answered my prayers, protectedme from the Adversary and from my second step-father, and lead me into themilitary service where I met and married my husband, Erik. There we participatedweekly in a charismatic prayer group and I learned how to praise and worshipGod in spirit and in truth.
After separation from the Army, we returned to Erik’s home town, Akron, Ohioand started going to “another flavor” of church. Here I heard much aboutJesus and that God loved me. In this church, I found fulfillment in serviceto the church and I began to learn about grace. Inspite of being very activein God’s service, I felt empty. I began to wonder if I was too old to feelthe Spirit move as I had as a youngster. Then I met Pastor Josh, the firstChristian I ever knew who really CELEBRATED his Christianity. I learned thatservice was in response to God’s love and the Spirit began to move in me.I was now ready to face my past.
In 1990 I attended a family reunion and my idealizations about my familywere blown apart, as were my misperceptions about God. The closer I drewto the God who loved me through Jesus, the more terrified I was of the damning,judging God of my childhood. The two would have to be reconciled, and thetime for God to work grace in my heart was at hand.
Through much therapy and pain and prayer, God erased all that was wrong withmy perceptions of Him. Then I felt a blackness and lostness I had never feltbefore. So many of my core beliefs were distorted, I felt utterly alone.Jesus has, since then, been revealing His true self to me. Utterly faithful,unconditionally loving, endlessly patient, infinite in grace and mercy,relentless counselor and teacher, encourager and guardian. My all and Lordof my life. About half way into my counseling, I experienced a “a deluge”of grace, God poured on me as I sat in church one Sunday. Ever since thenI have been sure that I will be with Christ in paradise, and it became cleararound that time that God was grooming me for a significant change in mylife. In September 1992 I attended a seminar for pastors new to urban ministryand it was there I experienced my call to ministry. God directed me to AshlandTheological Seminary (It would be a joy to talk to anyone about ATS) andthe Midwest Counseling Program there. I have earned, by God’s grace, a Master’sof Divinity in Pastoral Counseling and am now awaiting God’s direction formy ministry. One thing I am sure of now is that I will be working with innercity ministry in Akron. God has been grooming me to serve Him as a matureChristian and now I see that I will continue to mature until I die and joinHim in heaven.
I have a burden for small groups. I am convicted and convinced that Jesusset the pattern for small groups and that Jesus matures and uses His followersmost effectively, within this supportive, accountable and open context.
One of my favorite scripture verses is Ephesians 2:10. “For we are Hisworkmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
In Christ,
Cindy Olson