INGREDIENTS

INSTRUCTIONS

1990    
What's so easy as Cream of Wheat you ask?  Well, consider this. It's
much like rice in that it's a very bland, filling and wholesome food.
Now everyone knows how hard it is to cook good rice, right?  Well,  the
same is true of Cream of Wheat, but if you follow these explicit
directions, you will create a cereal masterpiece.  Don't be cowed by
the fact that the procedure must be as rigidly followed as that of  the
Japanese tea ceremony. After a couple of years you're bound to  get it
right. Just follow the recipe on the box for however many  servings you
want, but do it in the following fashion.  (I consider a  double
serving to be enough for one person.) Do NOT use the recipe  variation
for using milk! This is an abominable perversion of the  philosophy of
Cream of Wheat and will give you much too rich a bowl  of cereal.  I
use "quick" Cream of Wheat. Although all three  varieties seem to taste
pretty much the same when cooked I feel  guilty using the "instant" and
am too impatient to use the "regular",  so "quick" is just fine.  The
auxiliary ingredients are important too.  Fer'instance, if you can't
get the proper brand of bread, you'd best  move on to the next recipe.
1 box Cream of Wheat (make two servings  for each person), Salt, Water
4 slices of Northridge oatmeal bread  for each person, Butter slightly
chilled in the fridge (any normal,  salted butter will do), Sugar
(white granulated ONLY!), Milk (any  type but chocolate or buttermilk).
UTENSILS: A medium sized  Revere-ware copper bottomed pan. Some
flexibility is allowed here.  'Visions' can be used too. A Pyrex
measuring cup. Other types may be  substituted. An old fashioned glass
sugar dispenser++the kind with a  metal top and a little flap that
covers the hole.  You can fudge on  this too, but you're skirting
dangerously close to loosing the  authenticity of the dish, especially
if you've already compromised  and used 'Visions' to cook the cereal...
A table knife. Throw caution  to the winds and use any type you like,
except a steak knife. A  spoon.  The pattern isn't important, but the
plainer it is the  better. A bowl. Use only a thick, diner-style,
ceramic one. A glass  for milk. A jelly glass would be ideal.
PROCEDURE: First toast the  bread. Set the toaster so the bread is well
toasted. Small charred  areas around the edge are perfectly acceptable.
Let it sit in the  toaster for a moment to crisp up a bit, then set it
aside to cool. It  MUST be room temperature (a cool room, at that) when
buttered so that  the butter does not melt. Next, make the Cream of
Wheat.  Boil the  water, salt it, then take a wooden spoon and briskly
stir the boiling  water counter clockwise while dribbling in the Cream
of Wheat from  the Pyrex measuring cup.  Don't rush the process or you
risk lumpy  Cream of Wheat!  (I once fixed this for a person who liked
lumpy  Cream of Wheat.  I couldn't get it to lump!) Turn down the heat
and  let the stuff simmer, bubbling gently, until it's approaching the
proper consistency.  Well, since you asked, the proper consistency is
thick enough so that a swirl made in the surface will slowly subside.
Stir it every so often.  Once the proper thickness is reached, take  it
off the heat and stir vigorously several times to release the  steam
and thicken it up a bit more. The reason for this will be  obvious in a
moment. After, and only after, the Cream of Wheat is  done, butter the
toast with the slightly chilled butter. This will  allow the cereal to
cool so it will be ready to eat when you are. The  butter should be
chilled just to the point where is holds its shape  but is not hard to
spread++very important! I tend to favor a  moderately lavish amount of
butter, but this is up to personal taste.  Margarine is NOT, NOT, NOT
acceptable in this preparation. Put the  toast on a plate and dish up
the cereal. Get the milk out of the  fridge and grab the sugar and put
everything on the table.  The table  can be either formica or wood++the
recipe is very flexible in this  regard. Place the plate with the toast
to the upper right of the bowl  (or upper left if you're left handed).
Pour a glass of milk and put  it to the left (or right) side of the
plate of toast. Now, take a  moment after you sit down and savor the
sight in front of you. Then  get up and get a roll of paper towels.
Reseat yourself. Next, gently  pour a tablespoon or two of milk into
the bowl with the Cream of  Wheat and stir it in.  This will complete
the cooling and add just a  hint of richness to the Spartan simplicity
of water cooked Cream of  Wheat. Now sprinkle a light dusting of the
sugar over the surface of  the cereal. It will slightly glaze and
become transparent. Take a  piece of the toast and break off a chunk
that is comfortably bite  sized. Using the toast as an edible spoon,
reverently scoop up a  dollop of the sugar glazed cereal with the toast
and pop it into your  mouth. (Do NOT use the spoon to eat the cereal.
It's only for  stirring in the milk initially.) Paying close attention,
respectfully  chew the morsel. All the while be aware of how the cool,
creamy  smoothness of the butter slowly melts from the warmth of the
cereal.  Note the satisfying crunch of the oatmeal bread as contrasted
to the  rich plasticity of the cereal. Contrast the blandness of the
cereal  to the slightly charred, nutty flavor of the toast. Marvel at
how  such mundane ingredients can create such a symphony of tastes and
textures. Continue in this fashion, working clockwise around the  bowl,
until the entire glazed surface of the cereal is gone, then  sprinkle
more sugar on and repeat the process. If you've done  everything right,
the four slices of toast will disappear at exactly  the same moment as
the last smidgen of cereal. Now sit back for a  moment and bemoan the
fact that the experience is over. Dab  resignedly at your lips with
paper towel, fold it neatly and put into  the empty bowl to signify the
end of the meal. Heave a deep sigh of  contentment and give thanks for
the fact that you live in America,  that great country that has made
possible this pinnacle of gustatory  delight! Wash the dishes. Posted
by Stephen Ceideburg; December 24  File
ftp://ftp.idiscover.co.uk/pub/food/mealmaster/recipes/cberg2.zip

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Nutrition (calculated from recipe ingredients)
----------------------------------------------
Calories: 2
Calories From Fat: <1
Total Fat: <1g
Cholesterol: 0mg
Sodium: 1.5mg
Potassium: 17.9mg
Carbohydrates: <1g
Protein: <1g