The person characterized by a despairing heart has a propensity to make an idol of easing pain, feeling good, and creating comforts. This person may find themselves making conscious and/or unconscious statements like “I deserve!” or “I’m totally helpless!” The person who chooses to not deal with a despairing heart may be characterized by a victim mentality, an inordinate need for security, self-pity, strained relationships and a propensity to self-medicate or escape through fantasy or self-destructive behavior. Others might comment that their behavior or moods are melancholy, or down in the dumps, when relating to others they can be distant, isolating, draining, or self-absorbed.