#10-6: Busy, Dizzy & In a Tizzy?
Posted by: hopechestnews <hopechestnews@...>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
June 20, 2007
#10-6: Busy, Dizzy & In a Tizzy?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Hope Chest Home School News is a free e-mail magazine sent to about 1250 families around the world.
The publisher is Virginia Knowles, wife to Thad and mother of 10 children.
Check out Virginia's web site at http://www.virginiaknowles.com or e-mail her at [email protected].
Dear friends,
Are you "busy, dizzy, and in a tizzy"? Is your life whirling so fast that you don't have a chance to sit and think, much less nurture your soul? What we have here this month is simple encouragement for tending your heart-life amidst the myriad demands of a busy household. To help us with this, I have interviewed one of my favorite authors, Gary Thomas.
As often happens, I'm adjusting my plans for this month's issue at the last minute. I was about ready to send out an issue which included what I am sending here – but then I realized that there was so much there, that I couldn't possibly expect you all to read it. So I decided to save half of it – titled "Learn to Discern: To Know and Do What is Right and True" for another month when I don't have as much time to write.
For a little family news: Julia, who is 18, is ecstatic about returning to southern Bolivia on June 28 for an 11 day medical mission trip. On June 2, she graduated from The Regent Academy, our church's home school program. I was so blessed to hear each of the nine graduates profusely (and often tearfully) thank their parents for teaching them about the most important things of life (God's truth and grace) instead of just academics. Many of our relatives came in town for the graduation, and it was such a blessing to spend even a short amount of time with them! My mom was here for a week enjoying the grandkids and playing countless games of Scotch Bridge with us. (She did prudently escape to the back bedroom during the noisiest moments, though!) Lydia (12) and Joanna (14) both visited her in Maryland in May, and Rachel (16) is going up next month. Lydia helped my mom put in a vegetable garden, with her 94 year old great-grandpa Henry Hess supervising from his wheelchair. The girls also picked strawberries and learned to make jam. We joined the local YMCA a month ago, and I've been using the cardio machines, the FitLinxx computerized strength circuit, and the pool. My kids' swimming lessons were a great place to interact with other moms, too!
Last weekend I attended our church's ladies' retreat, Joy Inexpressible, with three of my teenage daughters. Jenny Detweiler spoke about how joy is something that we get from God, not from our circumstances, our friends, our family, or anything else. We need to guard our joy against worry, fear, anger and bitterness. That is only the barest summary of a very full weekend. The audio downloads should be available at http://www.metrolife.org soon but I haven't seen them yet. I'll send an e-mail later about that and the upcoming Glorify worship conference with Bob Kauflin and Steve & Vikki Cook (http://www.metrolife.org/Glorify/conference.html). In the meantime, you can read what some of the ladies have written about the retreat here: http://metrolife.typepad.com/metro_moms/.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Busy, Dizzy & In a Tizzy?
(Christian Contemplation for Busy Moms -- and Anyone Else! )
By Virginia Knowles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK, I know what you are saying: "I don't have time to sit around and think deep thoughts about God! I've got lessons to prepare and grade, diapers to change, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to make, bathrooms to clean…" I hear you. I have ten kids. Granted that some of them are now very helpful teenagers, but I still remember having five little girls ages seven and under, with a husband working long hours. And we can find time for what is really important. It just takes some juggling and adjusting. You probably know by now that I'm on a lifelong quest to find the balance between being and doing. Remembering the story of devoted Mary and busy Martha in Luke 11, I want to "choose the good portion" while not neglecting my family.
As you read, keep in mind that the point is not to do something for the sake of saying we did it but to make a deeper connection with the God who made and redeemed us. The goal of this time is to come out more filled with the Spirit, to see more love, peace and joy in our daily lives as a result. Do you have more passion for the Kingdom of God? Are your delights and desires more in tune with his? If not, are you holding back anything in your heart from unreserved worship? O come, let us adore him! Here are more than a dozen ways I've found to make time for soul nourishment through the spiritual disciplines.
Remind yourself daily of the Good News of the cross. We always need to start with this foundation. If you don't have a living relationship with Jesus Christ (which is not just about church attendance or mental assent), none of the rest of this will make any sense at all. I would be delighted to talk with you about this if you have any questions. We don't deserve any of the blessings we have, least of all the immense treasure of fellowship with God. About 25 years ago, I painted a scene of a man entering the Most Holy Place walking on the path of a cross. He passed through the heavy curtain of the temple which had kept anyone but the high priest out of the direct presence of God, but which was torn from top to bottom when Jesus was crucified (Matthew 27:51). It symbolizes our access to God through trusting in his death to pay the penalty for our sins. Hebrews 10:19-22 says, "Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water." To have this clear conscience, we need to continually confess our sins to the Lord, and he will free forgive them. "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8-9). And finally, Hebrews 4:16 -- "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Please note that I have created a web page for the painting and more related Scriptures. You can see it here: http://www.virginiaknowles.com/TheThroneofGrace)
Designate a quiet comfortable spot in your house as a "personal chapel" where you can go sit every few hours to regroup and refuel spiritually. Mine is an easy chair in my bedroom next to a fully stocked bookcase and CD player. I slip in there several times a day for at least a few minutes and up to a half hour or so, often while I am putting our toddler, Melody, down for a nap. It's not completely quiet – I often have Melody perched on my lap and other children wander in and out. And this is also not the only place I can have "devotional time" – I think about God throughout the day, whatever I am doing, whether it is washing dishes or stuffing laundry in the dryer. Taping up little cards with Scripture verses around the house can be a great inspiration, too.
Be ready to focus quickly on the things of God during what little time you might have. Learn to lay aside "the cares of this world" and concentrate on what the Lord has for you. Yes, there will be a time to bring before him in prayer the issues that concern you, but your focus should be on his sufficiency, not on your troubles. He is so much bigger than our circumstances! We bring our problems, our confusion, and our weakness into the Throne Room of God. As we draw near to him, we will bring out his strength and wise answers so we will be equipped to deal with them.
Keep a Bible handy at your "personal chapel" spot. Use book marks to keep the places you are currently studying so you can easily sit down and read a bit without fumbling around. Make a plan for what you are going to read so you don't just flip open and see where you land. For example, if you read a chapter of the New Testament every morning, you'll have read the whole thing within several months. You can also finish the Old Testament at the rate of two or three chapters a day, perhaps in the evening. Make a little chart to mark off your progress as you go. You can also go to http://www.ESV.org to read a daily portion of the English Standard Version Bible or even here it in audio as you are washing the dishes or folding laundry. This web site also has a really good search function for doing topical studies.
Rather than just quickly reading the verses, take the time to meditate on them. What do they mean? How can you apply them at your house? It is good to sit quietly and think, but you can also meditate on Scripture as you go about the rest of your day, pondering these things in your heart. I read from Luke 16-17 this morning, and jotted down several application phrases onto a card to put in the pocket of my capris: Faithful in little, faithful in much. Serve one Master: God! God knows what's inside your heart. Forgive others repeatedly. Don't expect praise for doing your job. Thank God for what he has done in your life. Lose your life to keep it. Just feeling the crinkle of the card in my pocket as I'm sitting or walking reminds me of what I have read, and I do take it out once in a while to remember them. Occasionally, I will even write a poem based on what I have been meditating on in my times with the Lord. You can see some of these at: http://www.virginiaknowles.com/poemsbyvirginiaknowles
Try to read regularly from good solid Christian books to help you walk out your faith. Several trustworthy authors are Andrew Murray, Jerry Bridges, John and Noel Piper, C.J. and Carolyn Mahaney, Elisabeth Elliot, Corrie ten Boom, Amy Carmichael, and Catherine Marshall. Donald Whitney's book Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life has come highly recommended by our pastors as a way to dig in to Scripture study, prayer, meditation, fasting, and other heart-nurturing practices. A good devotional book with short selections can be just right for a busy mom. My daughter Joanna found Charles Spurgeon's Morning by Morning, Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest or Thomas a Kempis' The Imitation of Christ for me at our library's used bookstore last week – nicely bound hardbacks for $1.50 a piece! You can find some of these resources listed on my CBD affiliate page at http://www.virginiaknowles.com/cbdspiritandcounsel or read (for free) countless Christian classics on-line at http://www.ccel.org.
Take time to pray, to ask God to lead you in your own life, and to intercede for others. It may be helpful to write out a prayer list of various requests for family members, your pastors, friends, missionaries, current events, etc. I keep my list in the back of my journal so it is handy. Prayers don't have to be clever or even original. Christians throughout history have prayed The Jesus Prayer: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." This does not have to be a rote formula, as some have made it, but a way to acknowledge our humble dependence on him throughout the day. I often shorten it to "Sweet Jesus have mercy!" I also use the Valley of Vision Puritan prayer book at times, as well as prayers from Scripture, such as Colossians 1:9-14. This helps me keep the focus on praying according to God's will, rather than my petty desires. Sometimes I pray just sitting there quietly, other times while I am on my knees, and other times as I'm working around the house. "Pray continually…" He is always listening! Or, as Alfred Lord Tennyson notes, "More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of." Oh, please remember that prayer is not just talking – it is listening for God's still small voice speaking into your heart.
Start a journal and use it! I write my own observations and questions about life, some of my prayers, and plenty of Scripture verses and quotes from whatever books I am reading. This has been such a lifeline to me in the past year as I've been so acutely aware of my need for God's mercy. I think of so many Christians through the ages who whose lives have been enriched by journaling. This may be a short paragraph, but I don't want to underestimate the importance of this vital spiritual discipline.
Be appropriately aware of your emotions, especially as they can indicate your spiritual health. We are not robots! God made our emotions to help us respond to him and to life around us. You don't have to be ruled by your feelings, but if you are anxious or irritable or depressed, find the spiritual remedy for that, rather than ignoring or suppressing these sensations. Ask God for wisdom in dealing with your emotions. It's not a one shot deal, but continually offering up to him what is roiling around in our hearts. "Lord, I'm feeling so overwhelmed… Help me to see you as my strong tower, and please show me why this situation bothering me so much and what I can practically do about it." Recently, I found myself in a setting where a bittersweet memory of similar surroundings triggered an emotional reaction. I wanted to weep, but that wouldn't have been prudent at the moment. It took several minutes to regain my calm, and I am glad that the Lord helped me with this, because I had the opportunity to joyfully reach out with grace to another mommy within a half hour after that. Later, when I could sit down in my "chapel" chair and think, I was able to process the turbulent feelings more thoroughly. God is not afraid of our emotions. With him at our side, we don't need to be afraid either.
Play and sing worship music throughout the day. If you move from room to room a lot or spend a lot of time away from your house, buy a little MP3 player and load it with your favorite songs or other audio downloads, such as your pastor's Sunday sermon if your church posts those on-line. Listening while you do other things is a great way to redeem the time. I listen to worship CDs on a Walkman with headphones while I work out on the treadmill at the YMCA. Even if you don't have music playing, you can always sing in your heart.
Establish a regular devotional time with your children. Read the Bible, sing, and pray with them sometime during the day, which is a fantastic extension of your own time with God. This will not just be an academic exercise, but an opportunity for you connect again with your Heavenly Father as you bring your children to him for a blessing. (See Mark 10:13-16.)
Use your daily duties as object lessons of God's truth and grace. When you are making dinner, think of the feast he is preparing for us in heaven. When you are washing dishes, be thankful for the abundant food you ate off of them, and pray for those who are less fortunate. When you are cleaning up your kids' muddy toes, think of how Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. A yucky toilet, stubborn laundry stain, or dirty diaper can remind us of how he washes our foulest sins away: "white as snow." This attitude not only inspires our souls with the holy character of God, but makes our work meaningful and less irksome. I find that, like Brother Lawrence, I can "practice the presence of God" no matter what I am doing, even if I am not kneeling in prayer or reading my Bible.
Think about God "in the watches of the night." I am a chronic insomniac, usually waking for an hour or more in the middle of the night. During these times, I remind myself of the mercies of the Lord, pray for others, and think of Bible verses I have memorized. I also do this as I am falling asleep at night, and sometimes as I lie in bed trying to wake up in the morning. This is also a good practice for mommies who are night nursing their babies, as I did off and on for nearly two decades. "My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy." Psalm 63:5-7
Enjoy your Sabbath! This is a time when I don't have to feel guilty about laying aside many of my regular daily duties. I like to use Sunday afternoon as a time for leisurely reading and contemplation, as well as rest. What a precious gift from God! Summer is also somewhat of a Sabbath (or sabbatical) for home school moms since we aren't so busy with lessons. Use some of this time for refueling your own heart for the year to come!
I hope these simple suggestions have been helpful to you. I don't present them as a formula, but as a means to help our hearts be captivated by our Awesome God.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meet Gary Thomas of
The Center for Evangelical Spirituality
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you have been reading the Hope Chest for the past year, you've often seen me mention one of my very favorite authors, Gary Thomas. I have read seven of his books already, and just started my eighth, The Glorious Pursuit. They are so filled with deep insight, not pop-theology. I am continually sobered, challenged, inspired and "nailed to the wall" when reading them. I know God is calling me to a more authentic inner spiritual life – for my own good and my family's sake. This is the Lord's providential timing to minister to my heart in a very stretching season of my Christian walk. I especially appreciate Gary's repeated reminders to cherish and guard our marriages.
Just for a little background, Gary holds an MCS degree from Regent College (Vancouver, B.C.). There he enjoyed the teaching of Dr. J. I. Packer, who heartily endorses the books. Gary served as a campus pastor, as well as the director for public education for CareNet, a crisis pregnancy center network. He is the founder and director of the Center for Evangelical Spirituality, and speaks at churches throughout the United States. He and his family live in Bellingham, Washington. You can visit his web site and read many articles at http://www.GaryThomas.com.
It is now my privilege to interview Gary Thomas!
Please give our readers a little background on you and your family, including your experience with home schooling.
Lisa and I just celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary. We have three children. Our oldest, Allison, will be a sophomore at Trinity Western University (Langley, B.C.) next year. Graham is 17, and will be a senior in the fall. Kelsey is 15 and will be a sophomore. Allison was home schooled through seventh grade, and then attended a private Christian school from 8th grade on. Graham and Kelsey were home schooled through 8th grade, and entered public school for high school. By the way, all those fears about "socialization" for home schoolers haven't played out in our family—our son Graham was recently elected ASB president. Looking back, we would definitely home school once again. It was an extremely positive experience to see our children so well-grounded. Plus, Lisa misses (tremendously so) the curriculum fairs. It was really tough on her to give those up…
Our experience with all three of our children have made us even more enthusiastic supporters of home-schooling (not that we ever wavered). Spiritually, home schooling provided a healthy Christian environment and instilled in our children a Christian worldview that they wouldn't have received in public school. All are professing, growing believers, with a desire to see God glorified in their lives. Intellectually, home schooling allowed us to tailor their educational experience to meet their needs. One child has learning disabilities, while another is academically brilliant (I don't use that word loosely), while a third is an above average student who will graduate near the top of her class but probably won't get straight As. We were able to build up the first, adequately challenge (without boring) the second, and help the third reach her potential. Morally, home schooling all but removed many of the most common temptations that public school kids face. The "boy/girl" pairing is delayed considerably. None of our children have even been tempted by substance abuse. I can't think of an area in which home schooling wasn't a benefit. Much of this success, however, is due to the sacrificial and incredible work ethic of my wife Lisa. She put in many hours and dedicated herself with a dogged determination.
Can you describe each of your books in a single sentence?
[Virginia's note: a * indicates the titles that I have personally read. Also, though he doesn't mention it among these book titles, Gary co-authored Won by Love, the autobiography of Norma McCorvey, who was "Jane Roe" of Roe v. Wade but then was "won by love" to the Lord. You can read my comments about this book on my blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/VirginiaKnowles/274961/)]
Authentic Faith, winner of the 2003 Gold Medallion Award, is an exploration of Christianity, "Jesus style;" it gently corrects the human-centered spirituality so prevalent today, and then explores, through Scripture and the Christian classics, a God-centered spirituality.
The Beautiful Fight (scheduled for an October 2007 release) calls Christians beyond mere sin-avoidance to a robust holiness that radiates Christ through every aspect of our being: to see with Christ's eyes, feel with Christ's heart, and serve with Christ's hands.
* Devotions for a Sacred Marriage offers 52 inspirational devotional readings for Christian couples (finalist for the 2006 ICRS award). [Virginia's note: You can read an excerpt on my blog at:
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/VirginiaKnowles/285324/]
* Devotions for Sacred Parenting offers 52 inspirational readings for Christian Parents.
* The Glorious Pursuit is both a practical and inspirational look at the basics of Christian growth developed by learning the ancient method of practicing the virtues.
* Sacred Influence provides a man's perspective about how Christian women can influence their husbands toward godliness, including real-life stories of women who are employing this knowledge to transform their marriages.
* Sacred Marriage isn't a "how to" book on marriage, but rather an exploration of how God uses marriage to help us grow in holiness. [Virginia's note: Read my article which talks about Sacred Marriage on my blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/VirginiaKnowles/240451/]
* Sacred Parenting takes the same approach as Sacred Marriage: rather than offering how-to advice, it looks at how God uses parenting to shape the parent's soul.
* Sacred Pathways helps readers build a more dynamic devotional life with God by identifying and describing nine spiritual temperaments (or "sacred pathways") that explain different ways in which Christians express their love for God.
* Seeking the Face of God weaves insights from the great Christian writers of the past to explore the common wisdom of the ancients regarding how to more fully enter into the journey of Christian spirituality. [You will find an excerpt of this book at the bottom of the article.]
What in the world is contemplative spirituality and why do you advocate it?
"Contemplative spirituality" is popularly defined in numerous ways, so it's important to be precise here. Traditionally, contemplation refers to a focused concentration of the mind toward God. It is a yearning to know and experience God, not simply sit and think about God, but rather to sit in his presence. Throughout the ages, Christians have adopted various methods to foster this practice. Some of these methods include "centering prayer," meditation, and the Jesus prayer. Rather than say I "advocate" it, I believe it's more accurate to say I "describe" it in my book Sacred Pathways, along with several warnings to help keep the experience within the bounds of orthodox Christianity.
It's important to point out that contemplative spirituality has a wide acceptance and appreciation in the history of Christianity. To reject all aspects of it simply because other eastern religions use some forms of it is selective reasoning. Buddhists fast, but we don't attack fasting as anti-Christian. Muslims preach, but we don't reject preaching. Why should we reject all forms of meditation, just because other religions have adopted that practice? This isn't to say that all forms of contemplation are appropriate for believers. In Sacred Pathways, I warn against any contemplative practices that speak of somehow being "absorbed" into God, or "emptying" ourselves in such a way that we create a "vacuum." I also warn against seeking experiences for experience sake; our call is to relate to God, not to seek after the latest religious experience.
The modern practice of contemplative spirituality has received a lot of criticism lately from those who only associate it with the often-unorthodox Emerging Church movement. What is your take on this?
Contemplative spirituality is entirely independent of the Emerging Church movement. It has existed throughout the history of the church and will continue to exist long after the Emerging Church movement has passed. Some adherents of the Emerging Church movement seem to have embraced certain forms of contemplative spirituality, but I'm more concerned about the theological issues and challenges this movement represents, than their acceptance of an ancient Christian practice.
[Virginia's note: For those who are not familiar with the Emerging Church movement, it is a very loose and diverse conglomeration of churches and ministries which seeks a "reformission" of the evangelical church in our post-modern culture. I should note that there are stark differences between different "camps" of the movement. On the one end, the "relevants" are generally those who still hold to orthodox (i.e. correct) Christian doctrines such as substitutionary atonement (Christ's death as our only means of salvation), eternal judgment, the authority of the Bible, and moral absolutes. I have actually seen some pretty encouraging stuff from these folks. I don't necessarily agree with their methods, and I don't know enough about them to give them my "thumbs up" (for what it's worth) but I'll try to give them the benefit of the doubt. On the darker end of the spectrum (especially in the "Emergent Village" camp) are the "revisionist" guys like Brian McLaren, Tony Jones, and Spencer Burke, who have abandoned these key Scriptural tenets and are teaching what I would personally consider complete heresy. It is very distressing to note that there is a huge surge of "bad theology" Emerging Church books among major evangelical publishers who had been known as reliable in the past. A little disclaimer: I am a busy home schooling mama of 10 active children, not a pastor or professional theologian. You can take my hopefully-humble opinions with a grain of salt and a whole lot of discernment. Now, back to Gary Thomas who is not an Emerging Church guy, and who is orthodox in his beliefs!]
Tell us about your upcoming book The Beautiful Fight which will be released this fall.
I'm enthusiastic about this book, because God has already used it to challenge me in so many ways. The Beautiful Fight is essentially my clarion call to the church to move beyond mere sin-avoidance to a robust holiness that radiates Christ through every aspect of our being: to see with Christ's eyes, feel with Christ's heart, hear with Christ's ears, think with Christ's mind, and serve with Christ's hands. It is a spirituality that is based in part on a much-neglected theological doctrine called the ascension. The question "What would Jesus do?" is stuck on in the incarnation. I try to move us into the ascension by asking, "What is Jesus doing now, in his glorified body, and how does that reflect how we should act in our redeemed bodies?" The title comes from the Orthodox Fathers rendering of Paul's famous statement, "I have fought the good fight," which the Orthodox Fathers called the "beautiful fight." God sent Jesus that we might be not just forgiven, but transformed—and herein lies the fight: to experience an entirely different kind of life based not just on what we do or don't do, but on who we are. While many Christians today profess belief, their Christianity has no pulse. The Beautiful Fight is an invitation to seek a deeper transformation, and to surrender to the vitality and beauty of God's grace. We fight to embrace a life that reveals to others what Jesus himself is like now.
So, we appreciate how important it is to meditate on God and to have the discernment to know and to do what is right and true. But in our media-saturated world of miniscule attention spans and shallow reasoning, most people are not equipped with the mental concentration or logical thinking skills to be able to develop those abilities. As home school parents, what are some practical things we can do to train our children (and even ourselves) to think clearly, deeply, thoroughly, and Biblically?
Home school may be the only place where children are equipped in these skills, to be honest, apart from some classical approaches to education. I hate to state the obvious, but to think biblically, children need to be taught the Bible! Not just Old Testament stories, of course, but essential doctrines. R.C. Sproul has written an excellent book entitled Essential Truths of the Christian Faith, with short chapters on key doctrines. The length of each chapter makes basic theology eminently accessible. Another excellent option is Wayne Grudem's Christian Beliefs: Twenty Basics Every Christian Should Know. To develop our children's logical reasoning, we used the book The Fallacy Detective: Thirty-Six Lessons on How to Recognize Bad Reasoning by Nathaniel and Hans Bluedorn. Added to all this, of course, must be countless discussions around the dinner table, on vacation, on the way to and from church, about the news, politics, theology, and ministry philosophy. Kids need to engage in active listening and speaking to grow in the same.
And finally, here are two brief excerpts from Gary's books:
Every spiritual problem has an individual genesis and needs an individual exodus. Generalized preaching is crucial to the Christian community, but it is not sufficient to meet the individual needs that require individual attention. Most believers have had their fill of simplistic answers and general platitudes that leave people impressed, perhaps, but still broken. Instead, they want and need someone to be there with them, to encourage them to continue on in the journey. Thus the need for maturity, to become these people, these "soul surgeons."
We do not need to be mature to reach heaven. We can experience salvation just minutes after being a practicing heathen. God answers our simple prayer for help, which expresses the true cry of the heart, and immediately ushers someone into the eternal kingdom. However, without maturity, we will have neither the motivation nor the ability to get involved in the lives of others.
God must do a work in us before He can work through us. That is why it is so dangerous not to grow. There is a world of human wastage out there. Some of it is due to sin, and much of it is due to complacency as lives are slowly wasting away in front of television sets, gossip sessions, and any host of narcotics used by our society to escape life.
True fulfillment comes in receiving God's love, and then responding to that love by loving others. This is the essence of Christian spirituality.
If we truly want to learn this path from the ancients, however, we will have to learn to slow down, even to read slowly. The wisdom of the ages cannot be grasped through sixty minutes of speed reading. As you read, thank God for those who have gone before us, those who refused to give way in the face of temptation, those who said "yes" to God's cry to live as children of God. Because of them, we are richer. We are their heirs, their fellow pilgrims on the journey to a deeper walk with God.
(from pages 17-18 of Seeking the Face of God)
~*~*~
If you always play it safe in your marriage, you're going to end up in some ruts. What I believe will give you the most boldness and courage to address issues that need to change is, first, understanding who you are in Christ, and second, letting God, not your marital status, define your life. Armed with that acceptance, security, and empowerment, you become a mighty force for good. You can then claim the power of Moses' words in Deuteronomy 31:8: "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Fear and discouragement create stagnancy and persistent disappointment in marriage. If you've had your fill of those, why not try God's path of faith and boldness?
One of the things I've been trying to do in these opening pages is to awaken in you a capability not often expressed to Christian women. Our culture in general – even Christian culture – is on a long slide toward passivity that completely goes against who God made us to be.
Let me be blunt: hope is not a strategy. Merely "wishing" that your husband would change, merely "wanting" your marriage to be different, won't do anything. The problem is that some Christians spiritualize "wishing – we call it "praying." Please understand, I'm not knocking prayer; I'm challenging a misconception about prayer, namely, that we can merely voice our displeasure and expect our world and our relationships to be transformed. True Biblical prayer is about much, much more than that. It involves receiving our marching orders and then acting on them.
A good marriage doesn't happen by accident, and a good marriage isn't maintained by accident. I've never written a book by accident, and you can't build a business by accident. These endeavors require deliberate choices and much perseverance. When you start acting instead of merely wishing, when you begin taking initiative instead of simply feeling sorry for yourself, you become an active woman, and active women mirror the active God who made them. (from pages 34-35 of Sacred Influence)
~*~*~
Thank you, Gary! And to the rest of you, remember to visit his web site at http://www.GaryThomas.com!
To see another interview with Gary Thomas at his web site, click here:
http://www.garythomas.com/html/aboutus/interview.html
To see his articles, click here: http://www.garythomas.com/html/articles/friends.html
This article, "Friends of Devotion", touches on his love for the Christian classics:
http://www.garythomas.com/html/articles/friends.html
~*~
Thanks for reading this far! Please drop me a note and let me know what you think. Your feedback is so helpful to me. Also, if you would like to read more about my own deepening spiritual journey, which sets the backdrop for this issue, I invite you to read these articles on my web site and blog:
Pilgrimage and Jubilee (July 2006)
http://www.virginiaknowles.com/pilgrimageandjubilee
Filled with Good Things (August 2006)
http://www.virginiaknowles.com/filledwithgoodthings
Living, Loving & Learning from the Deep Places of the Heart (speech in Sep/Oct 2006)
http://www.virginiaknowles.com/livinglovinglearning
Still Thankful for Marriage in the Storms of Life (November 2006)
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/VirginiaKnowles/240451/
Rhapsody in M (poem written in December 2006)
http://www.virginiaknowles.com/poemsbyvirginiaknowles
Laughter and Liberty (brief introduction to January 2006 issue)
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/VirginiaKnowles/283464/
Truth and Grace in the Stories of Our Lives (April 2007)
http://www.virginiaknowles.com/thehopechest22
Words to Live By (May 2007)
http://www.virginiaknowles.com/may2007wordstoliveby
With much love in the Lord,
Virginia Knowles