1998 Darwin Award Candidates

#1 · April 20, 1999, 8:34 am

Quote from Forum Archives on April 20, 1999, 8:34 am
Posted by: tz8cy5 <tz8cy5@...>

[Editor's note: some of these are grisly stories - hunters would consider some
laughable, but others may want to press the delete button now.]

1998 DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES

Once again it is time to start thinking about casting your vote for the
1998 Darwin Award winner! As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for
those nominees who contribute to the gene pool by dying in spectacularly
stupid ways before they breed (thankfully). The 1998 nominees are:

NOMINEE No. 1 [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a
shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot
himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in him.

NOMINEE No.2: [Kalamazoo Gazette] James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo,
Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police
described as a "farm-type truck;" Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a
highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a
troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something; however, and the
other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

NOMINEE No.3: [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally
shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C. Awakening to the sound
of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed
instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to
his ear.

NOMINEE No.4: [UPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the
safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with
his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said
Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early
Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's
windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of
window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing
partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper
that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man
association.

NOMINEE No.5: [Bloomburg News Service] A terrible diet and room with no
ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his
own gas. There was no mark on his body but an autopsy showed large
amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans
and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination
of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the
poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been
outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But
the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. According to the
article, He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly
gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

NOMINEE No.6: [The News of the Weird.] Michael Anderson Godwin made News
of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South
Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence
reduced to life in prison. Whilst sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and
attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

NOMINEE NO.7: [The Indianapolis Star]. A cigarette lighter may
have triggered fatal explosion - Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using
a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed
Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators
said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about
11:30 p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzleloader that
had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the
barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

NOMINEE No.8: [AP, St. Louis] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being
disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call police,
Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without
paying for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the store;
paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had
choked him to death.

NOMINEE No.9: [Unknown] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag
standing above him on an overhanging rock-and was killed instantly when it
fell on him.

NOMINEE No.10: [Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA] Blasting Cap Explodes
in Man's Mouth at Party. A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his
mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and
tongue, state police said Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit
the blasting cap as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D.
Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and
was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said,
'I'll show you how to set it off'".

NOMINEE No.11: [Reuters], Mississauga, Ontario] A man cleaning a
birdfeeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb
slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a
wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of
the Peel regional police. "It appears the chair moved and he went over
the balcony," Honer said.

NOMINEE No.12: [UPI, Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's University
Hospital said Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting
arrow is lucky to be alive, and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony
Roberts, 25, lost his right eye during an initiation into a men's rafting
club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants Pass, OR. A friend tried to
shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye. Doctors
said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel
would have cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny
Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went
through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with the tip protruding at the rear of his
skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said
that if Robert had tried to pull the arrow out he surely would have killed
himself. Roberts admitted afterwards he and his friends had been
drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."

NOMINEE No.13 The Calgary Sun Saturday, December 28, 1996 VANCOUVER
(CP)-A man arguing over a love triangle accidentally shot himself in the groin.
Police said the man was waving a .357 Magnum revolver around during the
shouting match early yesterday. But when he stuffed it back in his pants
the gun went off. Police were called to the hospital after the man in his 20s
was brought in by friends. Charges are pending against the victim, who is
expected to survive.

AND FINALLY, NOMINEE No.14!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette] Two local men
were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left the road and struck
a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff
County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight
Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis,38, of Little
Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The
accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging
trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights
malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older
model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis
noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the
fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the
headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on
east-bound toward the White River bridge. After traveling approximately twenty
miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated,
discharged and struck Poole in the groin. The vehicle swerved sharply to the
right leaving the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts
and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other
wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.
"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston was shot or we
might both be dead." stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten years
in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that
those two would admit how this accident happened."said Snyder. Upon
being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife asked how many frogs the
boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.

Posted by: tz8cy5 <tz8cy5@...>

[Editor's note: some of these are grisly stories - hunters would consider some
laughable, but others may want to press the delete button now.]

1998 DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES

Once again it is time to start thinking about casting your vote for the
1998 Darwin Award winner! As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for
those nominees who contribute to the gene pool by dying in spectacularly
stupid ways before they breed (thankfully). The 1998 nominees are:

NOMINEE No. 1 [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a
shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot
himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in him.

NOMINEE No.2: [Kalamazoo Gazette] James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo,
Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police
described as a "farm-type truck;" Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a
highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a
troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something; however, and the
other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

NOMINEE No.3: [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally
shot himself to death in December in Newton, N.C. Awakening to the sound
of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed
instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to
his ear.

NOMINEE No.4: [UPI, Toronto] Police said a lawyer demonstrating the
safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with
his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said
Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early
Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's
windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of
window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing
partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper
that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man
association.

NOMINEE No.5: [Bloomburg News Service] A terrible diet and room with no
ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his
own gas. There was no mark on his body but an autopsy showed large
amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans
and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination
of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the
poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been
outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But
the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. According to the
article, He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly
gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

NOMINEE No.6: [The News of the Weird.] Michael Anderson Godwin made News
of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South
Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence
reduced to life in prison. Whilst sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and
attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

NOMINEE NO.7: [The Indianapolis Star]. A cigarette lighter may
have triggered fatal explosion - Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using
a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed
Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators
said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about
11:30 p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzleloader that
had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the
barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

NOMINEE No.8: [AP, St. Louis] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being
disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call police,
Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without
paying for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the store;
paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had
choked him to death.

NOMINEE No.9: [Unknown] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag
standing above him on an overhanging rock-and was killed instantly when it
fell on him.

NOMINEE No.10: [Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA] Blasting Cap Explodes
in Man's Mouth at Party. A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his
mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and
tongue, state police said Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit
the blasting cap as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D.
Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and
was trying to explode it," Payne said. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said,
'I'll show you how to set it off'".

NOMINEE No.11: [Reuters], Mississauga, Ontario] A man cleaning a
birdfeeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb
slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a
wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy Honer of
the Peel regional police. "It appears the chair moved and he went over
the balcony," Honer said.

NOMINEE No.12: [UPI, Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's University
Hospital said Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting
arrow is lucky to be alive, and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony
Roberts, 25, lost his right eye during an initiation into a men's rafting
club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants Pass, OR. A friend tried to
shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye. Doctors
said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel
would have cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny
Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went
through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with the tip protruding at the rear of his
skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said
that if Robert had tried to pull the arrow out he surely would have killed
himself. Roberts admitted afterwards he and his friends had been
drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."

NOMINEE No.13 The Calgary Sun Saturday, December 28, 1996 VANCOUVER
(CP)-A man arguing over a love triangle accidentally shot himself in the groin.
Police said the man was waving a .357 Magnum revolver around during the
shouting match early yesterday. But when he stuffed it back in his pants
the gun went off. Police were called to the hospital after the man in his 20s
was brought in by friends. Charges are pending against the victim, who is
expected to survive.

AND FINALLY, NOMINEE No.14!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette] Two local men
were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left the road and struck
a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff
County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight
Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis,38, of Little
Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The
accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging
trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights
malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older
model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis
noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the
fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the
headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on
east-bound toward the White River bridge. After traveling approximately twenty
miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated,
discharged and struck Poole in the groin. The vehicle swerved sharply to the
right leaving the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts
and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other
wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.
"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston was shot or we
might both be dead." stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten years
in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that
those two would admit how this accident happened."said Snyder. Upon
being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife asked how many frogs the
boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.