Quote from Forum Archives on February 28, 2006, 3:30 pm

Posted by: jhbreneman <jhbreneman@...>

HEART TO HEART NEWSLETTER
ENCOURAGEMENT TO WOMEN
Compiled especially for you with love by Lois Breneman

 

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2/28/06  Part II of 7th ANNIVERSARY, PARENTING, GRANDPARENTING

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IN THIS ISSUE:

ON THIS 7th ANNIVERSARY OF  "HEART TO HEART" - REPLIES FROM YOU

AN OFFER TO MENTOR YOUNGER LADIES BY E-MAIL

TIPS ON GRANDPARENTING

THE HEART IS A WRESTLING PLACE

MORE LETTERS FROM "HEART TO HEART" LADIES

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

IF

THANKS TO GOD 

AS FOR GOD, HIS WAY IS PERFECT - Psalm 18:30

QUOTE

 

 

ON THIS 7th ANNIVERSARY OF "HEART TO HEART" - REPLIES FROM YOU

A Reminder from Lois, as stated in the last newsletter: This is the LORD's newsletter.  He deserves all the glory for any good that has come out of Heart to Heart, and I am just thrilled to be used of Him in this way!  So any glory that seems to go to me in any of these messages below, please direct it to the Lord, Who deserves all the credit!  I am simply enjoying the blessings from it all!  It is my joy and privilege to send the Heart to Heart Newsletter to you, and I can't wait to meet each one of you in Heaven some day, if not here on earth!

 

Thank you so much for ministering to my heart through your newsletter.  This particular newsletter which consisted of the following messages: A Momma's Trust, Housekeeping and If I Had My Life to Live Over brought me to tears.  Today had been an extraordinary day and it had left me drained and empty.  The input from other women and scripture inspired and encouraged me as your newsletter often does.  I am sure that the amount of time and energy that you put into this newsletter cannot be measured.  Nevertheless, I need to let you know how valuable it is to me as I am sure it is to so many other women. Thank you so much for caring and sharing the love of Christ. - VIRGINIA

 

I have been enjoying your newsletter and really appreciate all your encouragement and all the work you put into it!  I am the president of my Local MOMS Club and was wondering if you'd mind if I shared your time saving tips with these moms as we are all at home moms who like to squeeze our dollars.  I was talking to another friend of mine who is in another moms club and she asked about it as well. - PENNSYLVANIA

 

I was forwarded your email newsletter by a friend. We are both Hospice nurses.  I would very much like to receive your monthly newsletter. A special friend called me recently, troubled over not being able to forgive someone for a terrible evil. Your message on obtaining the taped message on forgiveness was perfect timing. Thanks for sharing sooooo many things. - VIRGINIA

 

As you can see, I am receiving your newsletter and love it!  I am going to use the sugar/soap and pepper object lesson in March when I have Kids Klub again.  Elizabeth Elliott basically told me I was old -10 years ago (I was 34).  I was blessed to be able to go to her 2 day seminar and as she was speaking she was going over the Titus passage and said something like "now you older women, oh say, 30 years old or more...." Imagine my shock thinking I was still a younger woman!  I still feel young and in need of mentoring!  So thank you for providing such a blessing in the form of a newsletter. - MARYLAND

 

I have been receiving your newsletter for about a year and enjoy it immensely.  This year I have volunteered to be in charge of the newsletter for our MOPS group.  Quite often I find an article in your newsletter I would love to share with my MOPS moms.  One that struck me in particular was last week's article and I would like to have your permission to reprint that for our newsletter.  I really appreciate your help as this is my first year in this position. - NEBRASKA

 

I am really enjoying your newsletters! Thanks for sending them to me ... there is so much info that I need to copy them and start a file.  I am the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) mentor at our church, so would you mind if I pass them along to interested mothers? I think some of the moms would really appreciate receiving them. Just let me know. - VIRGINIA

 

I have been receiving your newsletter for about a year and enjoy it immensely.  This year I have volunteered to be in charge of the newsletter for our MOPS group.  Quite often I find an article in your newsletter I would love to share with my MOPS moms.  One that struck me in particular was last weeks article on how much it costs to have children.  I would like to have your permission to reprint that for our newsletter.  Also, if I find articles in future issues, how would you like me to ask permission for them?  I really appreciate your help as this is my first year in this position. - IOWA

 

I want to thank you for adding me as a new subscriber to you newsletter.  I just received the first one (Welcome Letter), and it already is a blessing to me.  I am interested it organization, how to save money, and encouragement as a stay-at-home-homeschooling mom.  Thanks again for providing this newsletter as a ministry without charge.  May the Lord bless you. - GEORGIA

 

Upon reading your newsletter, I knew this was what I needed!  Thank you so much! - ALABAMA

 

You have no idea how much you help.  Sometimes it feels like you are writing just to me.  I've had a very difficult year, and your messages are ALWAYS timely, and have a message that I need to hear.  Don't ever doubt for a minute that God isn't working through you.  You have been an absolute blessing. - PENNSYLVANIA

 

Thank you for subscribing me to your newsletter.  Wow!  You certainly jam-pack mega information into each one!  God Bless you for heeding to God's call.  - OHIO

 

(Articles about campouts and hurricanes were included in this newsletter.)

You covered just about everything but EARTHQUAKES and TERROR patrol. Good job! - CALIFORNIA

I appreciate you and your desire to "make a difference." Only God will know the impact of your efforts.  Thank you! - COLORADO 

 

Wow!!  What a lot of great ideas for organizing!  I intend to put a couple of your ideas to use right away. I can use all the help that I can get when it comes to topics that revolve around the Christian home. - WASHINGTON

Just want to sat "THANK YOU" for all the hard work you put into the newsletter!  It is so refreshing to find it waiting for me...especially after a rough day!  Our house is the house where the neighborhood kids love to play. I love it but some days...it is trying! Your letter always seems to come at the right time!  You are a blessing to me!  PENNSYLVANIA

Just wanted you to know I appreciate your dedication to mother's and to all the hard work you have put into these newsletters over the years. Only in glory will you know the outcome of this ministry.- VIRGINIA

 

Thank you for your dedication and the sound biblical advise you present in this newsletter. I have often found it not only beneficial, but uplifting. Continue in His service as it becomes us all. - OREGON

I absolutely love getting the newsletter and I'm able to share it with many friends who don't have e-mail! - VIRGINIA

Just a note to say how very much I enjoy receiving your newsletter.  When I see I've gotten an email from you it brightens my life.  Thanks for the wonderful service you offer to so many that mean so much! - MISSOURI

Yes my two sisters have both stated they would love to get the newsletter.  In fact they have both seen copies while visiting and couldn't put it down.  Your ideas are so awesome and practical!!   I will be somewhat sad to hear from you only every other week.  However, I can't imagine the time and amount of work it takes to weekly put it all together and send it out.  I'm just grateful I am on your receiving list and will anxiously await it each month!  - VIRGINIA

I really enjoy your newsletters. The 7/14/05 one was the first one I read. When I came to "Legacy of an Adopted Child" tears came to my eyes. That poem is so beautiful. I'm going to put a copy in my daughter's scrapbook.  She is from Korea. Thank you so much for providing such an uplifting newsletter. - ILLINOIS       

 

 

AN OFFER TO MENTOR YOUNGER LADIES BY E-MAIL

Ladies, I had an offer from a Heart to Heart lady to help with mentoring those in need.  She told me, "If there is ever a time that I might be able to be a help to someone, I would love to be on your mentoring list!"  I have know this "older woman, " Nancy, all my life.  In fact, she is my sister!  If you are interested, please let me know and I will put you in touch with each other.

 

Heart to Heart has not had a "mentoring list" as such - until now, but this is a great idea!  If other Heart to Heart ladies would like to be an encourager to younger ladies who are looking for a mentor, please let me know and I will be glad to get you in touch with each other.  Maybe you have experienced raising a special needs child and would like to offer encouragement to others in that situation.  Also remember that it is easy to start a newsletter of encouragement - this one started very small - with only four ladies!

 

 

TIPS ON GRANDPARENTING

By Mary-Ann Cox, 2000, Sao Paulo, Brazil

 

Note from Lois:  This article was written especially for the "Heart to Heart" newsletter in 2000.   Mary-Ann has some very good grandparenting advice, which she puts into practice with her 16 grandchildren, as of 2000.  There are 19 grandchildren now!  She is one of Jack and Marge Wyrtzen's five children.  She and her husband, Dave, are serving the Lord as missionaries at the Word of Life Bible Institute and Seminary in Brazil. 

I remember when my brother, Ron, the youngest of five, was married, my mother kind of sighed that evening and said to my father, "Whew, I guess our job is over now!"  My father's reply was, "No, it isn't over.  Now we'll be taking 'our exams' in child training by seeing how well we have taught our children to train and raise their children."
 
We should appreciate the great blessing of grandparenting.  Psalm 128:6 indicates this as well as Proverbs 17:6 which says that "children's children are a crown to the aged."  I feel very honored to be the grandmother to sixteen grandchildren ages sixteen all the way down to two
years of age.  As a grandmother I try to share myself with my grandchildren as much as possible.  Let me say that we have thirteen of our sixteen grandchildren living within a half a mile of us as our two sons and one son-in-law are missionaries ministering at the Word of Life Seminary in Sao Paulo, Brazil.  We have three more grandchildren who live in Ohio in whom we can invest through e-mail, telephone calls and, of course, when we're on furlough or when they come to visit us.  Here are some ideas about how to do that. 

 

1.  Give them your time.  I have Grandma's Day every Friday and the kids love it.  This can be done different ways according to the ages and number of children.  I've had to change our day together as the number grows.  I used to have them all come for the day but then the group got so big that I took the little ones in the morning and the older, school aged children, in the afternoon.  They are all homeschooled.  Each week one of the groups would have lunch here. 
 
A question that I'm always asked is, "What do you do on Grandma's Day?"  We read books together and often watch a video especially since two of the families have chosen not to have TV in their house. The next question you probably want to ask is, "How do you decide what video to watch without having some be disappointed?"  I put all of their names in a cup and each week one name is taken out  (and left out) and that person chooses the video without comment from the others as each one will have a turn someday too.  If someone doesn't like the choice he is always free to do something else.   

 

They love doing projects together.  A few weeks ago we made "pigs in a blanket" for lunch.  I'm sure you've all heard of that.  Even our two year old thought it was great "painting" butter on the dough, rolling the hot dog up in the dough and waiting for it to cook.  Sometimes we go for walks or to the playground.  We have a lake on the Word of Life property with lots of geese so they love to go down there and feed them old bread.  The older ones are very fond of playing table games but they all want me to play with them and that isn't possible with so many so I have to take turns.  It is a rare day that you can't enjoy out-of-door activities where we live so we do lots of playing outside, climbing trees, soccer, hide and seek etc.    

 

2.  Pass on spiritual values to them.  Don't leave them only earthly treasures and riches.  Proverbs 13:22.  Tell them  your family story and of God's goodness and mercy to you.  Remember that in Exodus we are told to share our past with our children and not let it fade away.  Our grandchildren LOVE to hear stories from our past and that of their parents.  Sometimes we do this through showing them old slides and movies too.  On my sixtieth birthday my family had a progressive dinner for me.  We had part of the meal in each of their three homes (remember that my fourth child lives in the States) and each family was responsible for twenty years of my life.  There were pictures of that phase of my life around the living room and then after we ate that part of the meal, the family was to ask me any questions they wanted about that phase of my life.  Their questions were very good too.  It was a fun evening for everyone and I think the children learned a lot.  Let me say that after my  mother died my brothers and I realized that there were things that we would never be able to record because either we didn't know or had forgotten and our dad didn't remember either.  So, we all got together one afternoon in Schroon Lake, New York, and interviewed him for several
hours getting it all down on tape so we didn't make that mistake again.  Read the Bible and pray with them and share answers to prayer in your own life and let them do the same.   

 

3.  Babysit.  Give the parents freedom to get away for an evening or a few days and you take care of the children.  We have done this many, many times and although it is tiring, it's also a lot of fun.  I usually go to bed when they do if they're staying for several days as one never knows
what you'll be called on to do during the night.   

 

4.  Start traditions with you grandchildren.  I have Grandma's Day every Friday.  I also make and decorate their birthday cakes.  They choose how they want the cake.  Grandpa takes them a few at a time on long hikes and we've gone camping together a few times.  We have Christmas together as much as we can although each family has his own Christmas too.  We often go away on a vacation together which is fun.  Our kids love going to the ocean. 

 

As grandparents, we have to remember that we are the grandparents and not  the parents.  As a grandparent I should be an influence and an example but the training is to be done by their parents.  I have no right to undo what my children are trying to do with their children especially when they and I both know what is right. 

 

One of my responsibilities at the Seminary is to work with the student wives.  Many of them have children.  One of their biggest complaints is that their parents won't cooperate with what they are trying to teach their children.  Many of them will not allow the children to be disciplined in their home.  This makes it tough for the parents, and a visit to Grandma's house might not be that enjoyable because of this factor.  I try to cooperate with the training and discipline and not undermine it.  Otherwise I feel that I shouldn't have the privilege of having the grandchildren with me as much as I do. 

I want my children to be able to trust me with their children.    These are just a few of my thoughts on grandparenting.  I'm sure there are many more that could be shared but maybe these will be helpful to some who receive "Heart to Heart."
 
Happy Grandparenting! ~~ Mary-Ann Cox 

 

THE HEART IS A WRESTLING PLACE

Copyright 2005 Scott Turansky/Joanne Miller, Used with permission.  All rights reserved.
http://www.biblicalparenting.org/
 
The heart is where we wrestling with things. When experience, teaching, and values need to be integrated into life, it happens in the workshop of the heart. Information comes into our heads on a regular basis but much of it just stays there. Only when it moves down to our hearts does it become part of our lives.
 
When eight-year-old, Jordan, says to himself, "I'm no good. No one wants to be with me. I'll never get it right," he's repeating negative things in his heart. Rebecca feels good in her heart because she refused to join those who were disrespectful to the teacher. Jack's mom can see a heart problem because he scowls and complains whenever she asks him to do something. In each of these situations, children wrestle with things or come to conclusions about life and its challenges in their hearts.
 
When parents use a heart-based approach they take advantage of this wrestling inside a child. They feed helpful information, contribute praise for growing character, and comment about the helpful and unhelpful internal dialogue as it makes its way out through behavior.
 
Jesus knew that the teachers of the law were struggling inside with the fact that he forgave the paralytic in Matthew 9:4. He says, "Why do you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?" When the two disciples on the road to Emmaus realized that their surprise guest was Jesus, they reflected on the experience by saying, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"
 
Too many parents focus only on behavior, things like getting jobs done around the house and completing homework. The real work of parenting is done in the heart.
 
For more ideas about how to relate to children on a heart level, read the book, Parenting is Heart Work, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.  For more information on Effective Parenting, check out their website at http://www.biblicalparenting.org 

 

MORE LETTERS FROM "HEART TO HEART" LADIES

Thank you for these newsletters.  They are like water to a thirsty soul. I needed this nudge to get me out of my groove and humdrum way of living. Thank you so much. Would love to have some back issues if you have time to send some on. Thanks again and God bless you for your labor of love.  - MARYLAND

 

Thanks for your ministry to me! I am challenged and encouraged to be the woman, wife, mother and teacher that God wants me to be. I appreciate the reminders for keeping priorities straight. What a blessing you are! - VIRGINIA

 

It is wonderful to have such a personalized newsletter.  We have 3 natural children and 5 "supernatural children." - ARKANSAS 

 

Thank you so much for the time and love you put into your ministry.  It truly is a most welcome encouragement.   Will be praying for you. - VIRGINIA

I love H2H and want to make sure it keeps going so it will continue to bless women as it has blessed me! - MISSISSIPPI 

 

Maybe some day we will meet face to face, but until then email will have to do!  Thank-you soo much for your encouragement today!  I love email!  Especially newsletters! Yours was a welcome spot today!  It brought conviction and reassurance. Thanks soo much. May the Lord give you wisdom to know what to share next letter! - PENNSYLVANIA  

I got your newsletter and I absolutely love it. Thank you and God Bless You. - TEXAS

 

Thank you for e-mailing me some past newsletters.  I can't tell you how much I love things like this.  One of my Christian mentors told me that I was like a sponge absorbing so much information.  I just have a strong desire (initiated by God) to be the kind of wife and mother that God would have me be.  I think that homemaking and being a good mother definitely does not come natural for me, but, oh how madly in love I am with my husband and two kids.  God is working miracles in me on a daily basis by teaching me about Himself and giving me wisdom on disciplining and having fun with my children, along with submitting to my husband.  I could sure use your prayers as I continue.  You must feel so honored that God is using you in this way to help and encourage mothers like me.  I love that verse in 2 Chronicles where God says that His eyes run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward Him. - GEORGIA

 

I received your newsletter and I have enjoyed it very much!! With 3 energetic children I feel I could you advice and support of other mothers that have been there.  Thanks!!! - OHIO    

 

Just thought I'd let you know that I went through all the newsletters you sent yesterday and in Page Plus I made a "Heart to Heart File."  Under that I put folders for Babies, Crafts, Fun Things To Do, Gift Ideas, H2H History, House-Cleaning Tips, Ideas for Kids, Kid's Quotes,
Marriage, Money-Saving Tips, Object Lessons, Organizational Tips, Photography, Recipes, and Stories.  I went through each newsletter and cut and pasted into the proper folder!  Now as soon as I receive each newsletter, I will be able to put each idea or article in their place without having to go back and look through each one later!  Thanks for all the hard work you have and are continuing to do to help women around the world! - Ministering to the SUDAN & EGYPT 

 

 

GREAT EXPECTATIONS
By Cheri Fuller, Mothering By Heart, [email protected],  © 2006, Used by permission 
 
In the middle of the school year when lots of kids experience a slump, your child may just need the boost of positive expectations!
 
I know a young man who has achieved some amazing things. By the time he was eleven, he was an avid reader and had delivered keynote addresses to thousands of businessmen in the car wash industry. Perhaps the most surprised were his kindergarten teachers, who predicted he'd never learn to read. Yet now he reads stacks of books, e-mail, letters, and sends many out
himself.
 
Brian was born with Williams Syndrome, which causes heart problems, retardation, and other disabilities. But his parents continued to have high hopes for him and encouraged him to build
on his strengths and especially his interest in car washes (which is ultimately how he learned to read). His mom made flash cards out of car wash words and his vocabulary grew and grew. With perseverance and much prayer, their "great expectations" paid off.
 
Kids who succeed and overcome obstacles have something in common: a parent who has high expectations for them and believes in them, someone who encourages them to keep on trying, and shows them ways to use their strengths to compensate for their weaknesses.
 
Yet with all the negative labels we stick on kids these days, we often lower our expectations for what they can accomplish. That produces a downward spiral. The negative label leads to low
expectations which leads to less effort and thus less learning and achievement. What we expect from kids is usually what we get!
 
Your expectations can have a powerful impact on your child's behavior, achievement, and learning. So here are some ways to develop and communicate "great expectations".
 
First, think about what you expect from your child in different areas such as homework, reading, chores, etc. Consider your child's age and capabilities so that expectations are reasonable
enough to be met often. Otherwise, if they are always unattainable-like getting a 100 on every test or winning every soccer game-kids get discouraged.
 
Look for chances in daily life to share your positive expectations with your child. Give him a little snapshot of how far he can go with effort and work: "You have real ability to listen and counsel your friends. You could really help people someday." Or support him by sharing, "You said you'd get the kitchen cleaned up and you did. That's what I call responsibility!"
 
Last, avoid writing off as failures kids who are late bloomers or who aren't test-smart and don't make the top grades at school.  Also avoid throwing cold water on their dreams by saying, "You
couldn't do that..." when they think of a project or future goal.  Hopes and dreams keep us motivated and excited about life.  Instead, keep expecting and believing the best, and communicate your high hopes with encouraging words.
 
What makes the difference in a late bloomer who blooms or a child who's been struggling and turns around is someone who keeps believing in him and doesn't give up on him even if things are rough. And often, I find those precious late bloomers surprise us with the most beautiful blooms of all as they discover their gifts and talents and get on the path or career direction that
God created them for! 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Cheri Fuller is a mother of three grown children and a Gold-Medallion award winning author and speaker. Visit her website at www.cherifuller.com for more of her Mothering By Heart columns and Families Pray USA info.

 

 

IF

Author unknown ~ Thanks to Annamarie Kresge in Virginia for sending this sweet reminder to us all!

 

If you planted Hope today in any hopeless heart,

If someone's burden was lighter because you did your part,

If you caused a Laugh that chased some tears away,

If tonight your name is named when someone kneels to pray,

Then your day has been well spent.

 

 

THANKS TO GOD 

Author unknown ~ Thanks to Joyce Cronin in Virginia for sending this wonderful prayer!
 
Hello God,  I called tonight to talk a little while.
I need a friend who'll listen to my anxiety and trial.
You see, I can't quite make it through a day just on my own...
I need your love to guide me, so I'll never feel alone.
I want to ask you please to keep my family safe and sound.
Come and fill their lives with confidence for whatever fate they're bound.
Give me faith, Dear God, to face each hour throughout the day,
And not to worry over things I can't change in any way.
I thank you God for being home and listening to my call,
For giving me such good advice when I stumble and fall.
Your number, God, is the only one that answers every time.
I never get a busy signal, never had to pay a dime.
So thank you, God, for listening to my troubles and my sorrow.
Good night, God, I love You too, and I'll call again tomorrow!

 

 

AS FOR GOD, HIS WAY IS PERFECT

Psalm 18:30

By Lois Walker (Breneman), © 1964, Heart to Heart Newsletter, [email protected] 

 

When trials come bounding on us,

And everything seems to go wrong;

When trouble's ahead and nothing seems just,

"His way is perfect."

 

When our plans may not go as we hope,

And even though life may be hard;

When it seems like we're right at the end of our rope,

We must remember - "His way is perfect."

 

He knows of our trial and test.

His heart of compassion is moved deeply for us;

So He gives us His hand and guides every step,

And shows us that "His way is perfect." 

 

Yes, He knew each trial and test,

And knew all our sorrow and pain.

He knew after rain, the sun shines the best.

Oh, teach us that "His way is perfect."

 

The blessings - abundant and full,

He gives us again and again.

He knows what we need to strengthen our soul.

Yes, we know that "His way is perfect!"

 

 

QUOTE

We can accomplish more by time and strength put into prayer than we can by putting the same amount of time and strength into anything else.  - Thanks to Steve and Mirian Cox in Brazil for this quote!

 

            Please remember to pray for each Heart to Heart lady as you receive your newsletter.

(¨`·.·´¨)                          God bless you and your family and keep you in His care!

 `·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)                                           Your Heart to Heart friend,

      `·.¸.·´                                                            Lois  

           

The purpose of the Heart to Heart Newsletter is to bring godly and practical encouragement to women through creative ideas for the Christian family – regarding homemaking, marriage, children and much more.  You may receive this bimonthly newsletter by sending your name, city, state, country and the name of the person who referred you to Lois Breneman at [email protected].

 

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