WeLoveGod RallysPublic Newsletters: hopechest#7-12: Resource Reviews about The …

You need to log in to create posts and topics.

#7-12: Resource Reviews about The Guy/Girl Thing

#1 · June 29, 2004, 10:46 am

Quote from Forum Archives on June 29, 2004, 10:46 am
Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE HOPE CHEST

with Virginia Knowles

#7-12 on June 29, 2004

Resources Reviews about The Guy/Girl Thing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Hope Chest is a free email newsletter with encouragement and practical teaching tips. The writer is Virginia Knowles, wife of Thad, mother of nine children, and author of Common Sense Excellence: Faith-Filled Home Education for Preschool to 5th Grade, and The Real Life Home School Mom.

Contact information:

Web site: http://www.thehopechest.net
Resource orders: http://www.thehopechest.net/ResourceOrders.html
Personal Password Protected Email: [email protected]
Subscription: [email protected]
Unsubscription: [email protected]
To change your subscription, just unsubscribe from your old address, and subscribe from the new one. This will save me a lot of time!

Dear Hope Chest friends,

As promised, here are 10 reviews of resources about the subjects of purity and preparation for marriage! Earlier today I mentioned that I would send out the "Foundations for a Future Family" issue in two weeks, but it may actually be longer than that. After all, I'm trying to stretch out my writing time, aren't I? In this resource review issue, you will find:

Books and Music by Eric and Leslie Ludy

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships by Eric and Leslie Ludy
When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write by Eric and Leslie Ludy
Authentic Beauty: The Making of a Set-Apart Young Woman by Leslie Ludy
Gods Gift to Women: Discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity by Eric Ludy
Faithfully CD by Eric and Leslie Ludy

Books by Josh Harris

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Josh Harris
Boy Meets Girl by Josh Harris
Not Even a Hint: Guarding Your Heart Against Lu** by Josh Harris

Book by Dannah Gresh

And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to S**ual Purity by Dannah Gresh

A few notes before we begin the reviews:

I use asterisks to finish some words that might trigger a sensitive Internet filter. I only use these words in book titles or direct quotes from the authors. Otherwise, I would just find alternate words! I promise you that there is nothing indecent in this newsletter.
I have chosen to take a contemporary approach to this topic. I know some will be disappointed that I am not covering the betrothal approach or even a more conservative treatment to courtship, but thats just not where our family is at.
Make sure you read any book listed here (or any OTHER book on the topic) before handing it to your teenager. I do my best to inform and recommend, but Im not you, and I dont know your child or your familys convictions. Most of the books here are very frank in their treatment of purity, and one of them was even too much for me. These materials may make your child (or you) uncomfortable, but it also might make them more grateful for the sheltering you have provided in your home school setting.
I briefly reviewed the very sweet video Pamelas Prayer in a previous issue. I repeat the web link here for those who missed it: http://www.christiananswers.net/catalog/pamela-vs.html
Be sure to click on all the web links! There is so much more great information on these sites than I could possibly include in the newsletter! The sites are NOT just ads for the books.
Resources by Eric and Leslie Ludy

The title When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships sure fits the book! Eric and Leslie each wrote about nine chapters in which they share the beauty of trusting the Lord to sovereignly bring his best to you, without the need for endless dating around. The authors candidly share their mistakes from previous relationships, so be forewarned that this is a PG (parental guidance) book. It is not stuffy stuff at all, since it is written in a twentysomething conversational style with plenty of quirky humor. I particularly appreciated how they made classic (as in Ancient Greek) tales leap forward into our contemporary culture. Did you ever wonder where the phrase siren song came from? Speaking of music, I think the book usually comes bound with a single-song CD of Faithfully, but my review copy didnt have it. (I bought their full 14 song CD at the Florida home school convention.) Chapter titles in this 250 page book are:

The Babes and the Big Egos
In Search of a Sweeter Song: A generations longing for a better kind of love
Whos Captain of Your Love Boat?: Laying the foundation for a God-written love story
Rubbing Shoulders with the Author of Romance: Following a faithful Father, not a faulty formula
Get a Love Life! Loving your future spouse even before you meet him
A Forever Kind of Love: Romance thats more than a feeling
Developing Inward Excellence: Purity that goes beyond skin-deep
Heart Matters: A female angle on inward excellence
The Art of Faithfulness: A skill to learn long before the wedding vows
Can the Sweeter Song Be a Solo? Understanding the pain and purpose of singleness
Holding Out for a Higher Standard: Do noble knights and fair maidens really exist?
Home Sweet Home: The ultimate test of true love
Training to be Tender: How your own personal oddballs can prepare you for romance
Playing for Keeps: Preparing for success by picking a winning team
Too Late? A glimmer of hope in a world of lost virginity
Against the Tide: Gaining real backbone in the midst of a spineless generation
After I Do: The beauty of a God-written marriage

Heres a very brief excerpt from one of Leslies chapters:

~~

For the first time I realized that God had more of an interest in my love life than just making sure I followed a few rules. He wanted to be involved! And more than that, He wanted to write my love story for mewithout my help! A mixture of emotions came with that realization. First, I felt instant doubt and fear. Could God really do this without my help? Even though I had messed up my love life so far, I was pretty sure I still had way more insight into the finer things in life -- like love, s**, dating and marriage -- than someone as old (and most likely outdated) as God! What if he butchered the whole thing? I pictured myself trusting God with this precious area of my life, only to end up sitting in a long gray tentlike dress, staring forlornly out the window and rocking my life away. No friends, no phone calls, no life whatsoever. I wouldnt get married until I was ninety-three, and it would be to some Elmer Fudd-type of guy I couldnt stand. Wed have four horrible years together, then die. Looking back, I laugh at such a thought. That was before I learned what a romantic God is! If I had only known what He had planned for meI never would have doubted for a minute!

~~

When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write, also co-written by Eric and Leslie, was my favorite of the Ludys books. This is where they actually tell the chronological tale of their own unusual love story. Again, they frankly share their follies from earlier years, so this too is PG material. But most of all it is a very sweet story! I suppose I should set the scene for this following clip from the book. Rich is Leslies dad, the families have been friends for several months, this is not their first conversation about Leslie, and its 5:30 in the morning at Perkins Restaurant. Here we go:

~~

By the time I stammered, I, uh, for the third time, Rich wasnt hanging on my every word. But it was on the third try I finally got the real issue out. I, uh, think that God has shown me, Rich, that Leslie will one day be my wife.

I did it! I said the impossible! It wasnt a quote I would want to put on my refrigerator, but it got the job done. And it sure did catch Rich a little off guard. He took a few minutes to compose himself and make sure he hadnt spilled coffee all over the front of his tie.

I slurped my ice water like a man finding a water fountain in the middle of the Sahara. Rich took a few more sips from his coffee mug. Then he spoke.

Eric, he carefully chose his words, Janet and I have been praying for Leslies future husband every day for the past fourteen years, since we became Christians. Then, catching my gaze with his gentle eyes, he said a collection of words from the English language that I will certainly never forget.: And we have both felt, for some time now, that youre the one!

~~~

[I should also let you know that at the time, Eric was about 21, and Leslie, only 16, had recently opted to be home schooled because of the intense peer pressure she faced in public school. They married a few days before her 19^th birthday. Thats a few years shy of 93, dont you think?]

And now, reviewlettes of some other Ludy resources:

I havent yet read all the way through Authentic Beauty: The Shaping of a Set-Apart Young Woman by Leslie Ludy, but my daughter Mary has, and she liked it. Im going to encourage her to write a full review of it soon. This book is not particularly about marriage, but about being who God has called you to be in your teen and young single years. Leslie encourages each reader to develop an intimate fellowship with her Prince, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Thad and I each started reading Erics book, Gods Gift to Women: Discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity, but we couldnt get through more than the first few chapters because of the blush factor. (Later chapters are probably much more readable in this sense.) Eric is very open, perhaps to a fault, about what goes on in the minds of young males, and what temptations even our Christian young people can face every single day (especially in public school, but even in the church). I dont exaggerate in the least when I say that this book sent me straight to my knees in prayer, not just for my own children, but also for their friends.

[A big thanks to Multnomah, the publisher, for sending me review copies of these four books, along with an preview copy of When God Writes Your Life Story, which will be released later this year.]

And finally, a word about Eric and Leslies CD, Faithfully! It has 14 songs in the light pop style (several of just piano), and aimed at young people who dont necessarily know who they will marry yet, but want to entrust this area of their lives to God.

Here are the lyrics for Leslies song Far Beyond:

I hear it in a love song or see it on a movie screen

The kind of perfect love story that I have always dreamed

Would somehow come into my life and yet it seems so out of reach

Its all that I think about sometimes

Will I ever find a love thats meant to be?

Maybe these thoughts seem foolish

To a holy God who made the sea and land

But you were the One who created love between a woman and a man

And deep inside I hear You say you see all my hopes and fears

And if I give to you the pen of my life

Youll write a tale that all Heaven can cheer

Far beyond my deepest hearts desire

Far beyond what I could ever dream

Far beyond my fairy tale imaginations is Your perfect plan for me

Theres no limit to romance in all its beauty

When the Author of love shapes my destiny

Far beyond the most that I could long for

I will find the dreams You have dreamed for me

I could search forever, I could look for true love everywhere

If all my dreams were answered, they still could not compare

To the beauty of Your ways and all Your plans for my life

Cause Youve been scripting out a story for me

Before the very foundations of time

You can find these resources, as well as many on-line articles and an MP3 download of the song Faithfully, at the Ludys web site: http://www.ericandleslie.com

Resources by Josh Harris

Josh Harris is the son of home school pioneers Gregg and Sono Harris. Many of us old-timers remember him as the preteen illustrator of his fathers 21 Rules of This House coloring book and kit. He started New Attitude magazine during his teen years, founded the popular New Attitude conferences in 1999, and as of this September will follow C.J. Mahaney as the senior pastor of Covenant Life, a Sovereign Grace Ministries church in Gaithersburg, Maryland. (www.sovereigngraceministries.org)

Ive had the books I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl for several years. I wont do full reviews of them, since I havent read them recently, but at least wanted to mention them!

I Kissed Dating Goodbye, written while Josh was still single, outlines the biblical reasons for not dating in an attempt to find a mate. After selling 800,000 copies and being translated into other languages, it has also been updated, expanded and re-released as a hardback. A study guide is available. http://www.joshharris.com/ikdg/ikdgmain.htm

Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship, written after Joshs marriage to Shannon, goes on to cover the topic of courtship a bit more adequately. In other words, if dating doesnt work the best, what does? This book is full of solid principles and real life stories. Find out more at: http://www.joshharris.com/boymeetsgirl/bmgintro.htm

Here are a few paragraphs from Boy Meets Girl, which follow an acknowledgement that not all courtships culminate in an engagement:

~~~

Its clear that we need to refine our definition of success in courtship. Getting engaged should not be our overriding goal. What should be?

I believe that in a God-glorifying, wisdom-guided courtship we have two central priorities. The first is to treat each other with holiness and sincerity; the second is to make an informed and wise decision about marriage.

In courtship our goals should be to grow and guard. We want to grow closer so we can truly know each others characters, but we also want to guard each others hearts beause the outcome of our relationship is still unknown.

At the beginning of a courtship a man and woman dont know if they should get married. They need to get to know each other, observe each others character, and find out how they relate as a couple. This is what it means to grow closer. But the fact that the future is unknown should also motivate them to treat each other with the kind of integrity that will allow them to look back on their courtship without regret, regardless of the outcome.

~~

Joshs newest book Not Even a Hint: Guarding Your Heart Against Lu** is an attractive hardback published by Multnomah. It has endorsements from such notables as John Piper, Rancy Alcorn, Jerry Bridges, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Rebecca St. James, and others. Like the Ludys books, this one is PG material, but is done discretely and Biblically.

Chapters include:

Not Even a Hint: Why Cant I Seem to Beat Lu**?
What God Called Good: Is It Biology or Is It Sin?
You Cant Save Yourself: Where Can I Find the Power to Change?
A Custom-Tailored lan: Where Am I Weakest and What Can I Do?
Guys and Girls: How Are We Different, and How Can We Help Each Other?
Self-Centered S**: How Do I Deal with M**t**b****n?
Half a Poison Pill Wont Kill You: How Do I Cope the Temptation of Media?
Lone Rangers are Dead Rangers: Why Is Accountability So Important?
The Sword of the Spirit: How Can the Truth Help Me Defeat the Lies?
Holiness Is a Harvest: How Can I Sow to the Spirit?
Appendix: The Path of Repentance

Heres a true confession from Not Even a Hint:

~~

One day when I returned home from work, my wife was gone and a stack of mail was on the kitchen counter. I flipped through the bills. Then I spotted a very explicit lingerie catalog at the bottom of the stack. My pulse quickened. I snatched up the catalog and quickly twisted it into a tube, opened our back door, and threw it into the trash can. As soon as I shut the door, a very intense inner struggle began. God had given me the strength to throw it away. But my sinful desire was lobbying hard. Ill be honest. I really wanted to open up that trash can and pull out the catalog. A dozen thoughts and justifications flew at me: Shannon is gone, so no one would know. Ill only look quickly. Maybe I could pck out some article of clothing for Shannon. Thats it! I wouldnt be lusting; Id be shopping! Its not po**ography. Ill only do it this once.

No! I said aloud. I will ot lift the lid of that trash can. I will not look at that catalog.! If my neighbors had seen me arguing with myself as I paced in our kitchen, they would have thought I was crazy. But my lustful desires kept whispering: It would feel good. You havent done it for a long time. God will forgive you and you can find a humble way to confess it to your accountability group. The fact that Id even think such deceitful thoughts scared me. I grabbed the phone and started calling friends. I dialed Joebusy signal. Ericanswering machine. Well, youve done your best to get help. You might as well indulge.

Shut up!

I dialed Johns number and he answered. Hey, Josh, whats going on?

Hey, buddy, I said with a sigh. I need you to pray for me

~~~

Check out Joshs web site: http://www.joshharris.com/

Courtship: Should Two Become One? -- a set of articles in Sovereign Grace Magazine, one of which is based on Joshs books

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/sgo/v19no5/

Read letters from people sharing their own stories:

http://yourstories-joshharris.blogspot.com/

Dannah Gresh

Dannah Greshs book And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to S**ual Purity seeks to expose Satans lies, help girls break off harmful relationships, and bring healing to those who have been wounded. She includes stories, interviews and insights from Josh Harris, Rebecca St. James, Josh McDowell and others, as well as from countless young women who read the original edition. Like the other books reviewed, this is stuff you will want to preview before handing to your teens, and definitely not leave it around the house for younger children to read. This is not exactly a courtship style book, but it has much valuable information nonetheless. Families who do not approve of dating will want to be aware that there is discussion of what to do on a date. Heres an excellent excerpt in which Dannah contrasts two approaches to romantic relationships: The Crash and Burn versus The Pure, Slow Burn.

~~~

Your first choice is to have a relationship that is an easy road of blissful moments. The problem is that the relationship could potentially end in a fuel fire of pain. These love stories are written by women who are Styrofoam cups and, sometimes, ceramic mugs. [As contrasted to fine china teacups, which Dannah discusses earlier.] Romeo and Juliet are a great example of this. Juliet wears her heart on her sleeve and throws every caution to the wind to be with Romeo. She defies her parents, sneaks around to be with him, and makes easy, heart-defining choices to have secret moments of bliss with Romeo. In the end, they commit suicide because their relationship is opposed. I do like the story, but I sure would not want it to be my great love story. Wheres the sunset? Wheres the happily-ever-after? (Wheres their pulse?)

You can have the sunset love story in your life, but it will mean that you choose the pain that comes in package number two -- the pure, slow burn. The pain here is caused by your own self-control, which really feels much like self-denial. As you guard your heart and your body, you can expect to experience some pain. It is far easier, short-term, to be the girl who throws caution to the wind and lets her heart and body become tangled into the moment. But if your great love story is fueled by the pain that is caused by wise, head-defined choices in the beginning, it may come with a blissful, happily-ever-after ending. If the relationship does end? You will have no regrets because you have not given your heart or your body away. (And there are still lots of nice clean pages upon which to keep writing your story. One broken relationship is not the end!)

~~~

Please check out Dannahs Pure Freedom web site at http://www.purefreedom.org for plenty of helpful information and articles.

I will review two of her resources about modesty, Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty and Secret Keeper Girl (a kit for moms and daughters ages 8-12) in another issue.

~~~

Well, folks, I guess thats about enough for now! Let me know what you think!

In His Sovereign Grace,

Virginia Knowles

http://www.thehopechest.net
  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: [email protected]  

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE HOPE CHEST

with Virginia Knowles

#7-12 on June 29, 2004

Resources Reviews about The Guy/Girl Thing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Hope Chest is a free email newsletter with encouragement and practical teaching tips. The writer is Virginia Knowles, wife of Thad, mother of nine children, and author of Common Sense Excellence: Faith-Filled Home Education for Preschool to 5th Grade, and The Real Life Home School Mom.

Contact information:

Web site: http://www.thehopechest.net
Resource orders: http://www.thehopechest.net/ResourceOrders.html
Personal Password Protected Email: [email protected]
Subscription: [email protected]
Unsubscription: [email protected]
To change your subscription, just unsubscribe from your old address, and subscribe from the new one. This will save me a lot of time!

Dear Hope Chest friends,

As promised, here are 10 reviews of resources about the subjects of purity and preparation for marriage! Earlier today I mentioned that I would send out the "Foundations for a Future Family" issue in two weeks, but it may actually be longer than that. After all, I'm trying to stretch out my writing time, aren't I? In this resource review issue, you will find:

Books and Music by Eric and Leslie Ludy

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships by Eric and Leslie Ludy
When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write by Eric and Leslie Ludy
Authentic Beauty: The Making of a Set-Apart Young Woman by Leslie Ludy
Gods Gift to Women: Discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity by Eric Ludy
Faithfully CD by Eric and Leslie Ludy

Books by Josh Harris

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Josh Harris
Boy Meets Girl by Josh Harris
Not Even a Hint: Guarding Your Heart Against Lu** by Josh Harris

Book by Dannah Gresh

And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to S**ual Purity by Dannah Gresh

A few notes before we begin the reviews:

I use asterisks to finish some words that might trigger a sensitive Internet filter. I only use these words in book titles or direct quotes from the authors. Otherwise, I would just find alternate words! I promise you that there is nothing indecent in this newsletter.

I have chosen to take a contemporary approach to this topic. I know some will be disappointed that I am not covering the betrothal approach or even a more conservative treatment to courtship, but thats just not where our family is at.

Make sure you read any book listed here (or any OTHER book on the topic) before handing it to your teenager. I do my best to inform and recommend, but Im not you, and I dont know your child or your familys convictions. Most of the books here are very frank in their treatment of purity, and one of them was even too much for me. These materials may make your child (or you) uncomfortable, but it also might make them more grateful for the sheltering you have provided in your home school setting.

I briefly reviewed the very sweet video Pamelas Prayer in a previous issue. I repeat the web link here for those who missed it: http://www.christiananswers.net/catalog/pamela-vs.html
Be sure to click on all the web links! There is so much more great information on these sites than I could possibly include in the newsletter! The sites are NOT just ads for the books.
Resources by Eric and Leslie Ludy

The title When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships sure fits the book! Eric and Leslie each wrote about nine chapters in which they share the beauty of trusting the Lord to sovereignly bring his best to you, without the need for endless dating around. The authors candidly share their mistakes from previous relationships, so be forewarned that this is a PG (parental guidance) book. It is not stuffy stuff at all, since it is written in a twentysomething conversational style with plenty of quirky humor. I particularly appreciated how they made classic (as in Ancient Greek) tales leap forward into our contemporary culture. Did you ever wonder where the phrase siren song came from? Speaking of music, I think the book usually comes bound with a single-song CD of Faithfully, but my review copy didnt have it. (I bought their full 14 song CD at the Florida home school convention.) Chapter titles in this 250 page book are:

The Babes and the Big Egos
In Search of a Sweeter Song: A generations longing for a better kind of love
Whos Captain of Your Love Boat?: Laying the foundation for a God-written love story
Rubbing Shoulders with the Author of Romance: Following a faithful Father, not a faulty formula
Get a Love Life! Loving your future spouse even before you meet him
A Forever Kind of Love: Romance thats more than a feeling
Developing Inward Excellence: Purity that goes beyond skin-deep
Heart Matters: A female angle on inward excellence
The Art of Faithfulness: A skill to learn long before the wedding vows
Can the Sweeter Song Be a Solo? Understanding the pain and purpose of singleness
Holding Out for a Higher Standard: Do noble knights and fair maidens really exist?
Home Sweet Home: The ultimate test of true love
Training to be Tender: How your own personal oddballs can prepare you for romance
Playing for Keeps: Preparing for success by picking a winning team
Too Late? A glimmer of hope in a world of lost virginity
Against the Tide: Gaining real backbone in the midst of a spineless generation
After I Do: The beauty of a God-written marriage

Heres a very brief excerpt from one of Leslies chapters:

For the first time I realized that God had more of an interest in my love life than just making sure I followed a few rules. He wanted to be involved! And more than that, He wanted to write my love story for mewithout my help! A mixture of emotions came with that realization. First, I felt instant doubt and fear. Could God really do this without my help? Even though I had messed up my love life so far, I was pretty sure I still had way more insight into the finer things in life -- like love, s**, dating and marriage -- than someone as old (and most likely outdated) as God! What if he butchered the whole thing? I pictured myself trusting God with this precious area of my life, only to end up sitting in a long gray tentlike dress, staring forlornly out the window and rocking my life away. No friends, no phone calls, no life whatsoever. I wouldnt get married until I was ninety-three, and it would be to some Elmer Fudd-type of guy I couldnt stand. Wed have four horrible years together, then die. Looking back, I laugh at such a thought. That was before I learned what a romantic God is! If I had only known what He had planned for meI never would have doubted for a minute!

When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write, also co-written by Eric and Leslie, was my favorite of the Ludys books. This is where they actually tell the chronological tale of their own unusual love story. Again, they frankly share their follies from earlier years, so this too is PG material. But most of all it is a very sweet story! I suppose I should set the scene for this following clip from the book. Rich is Leslies dad, the families have been friends for several months, this is not their first conversation about Leslie, and its 5:30 in the morning at Perkins Restaurant. Here we go:

By the time I stammered, I, uh, for the third time, Rich wasnt hanging on my every word. But it was on the third try I finally got the real issue out. I, uh, think that God has shown me, Rich, that Leslie will one day be my wife.

I did it! I said the impossible! It wasnt a quote I would want to put on my refrigerator, but it got the job done. And it sure did catch Rich a little off guard. He took a few minutes to compose himself and make sure he hadnt spilled coffee all over the front of his tie.

I slurped my ice water like a man finding a water fountain in the middle of the Sahara. Rich took a few more sips from his coffee mug. Then he spoke.

Eric, he carefully chose his words, Janet and I have been praying for Leslies future husband every day for the past fourteen years, since we became Christians. Then, catching my gaze with his gentle eyes, he said a collection of words from the English language that I will certainly never forget.: And we have both felt, for some time now, that youre the one!

~~~

[I should also let you know that at the time, Eric was about 21, and Leslie, only 16, had recently opted to be home schooled because of the intense peer pressure she faced in public school. They married a few days before her 19^th birthday. Thats a few years shy of 93, dont you think?]

And now, reviewlettes of some other Ludy resources:

I havent yet read all the way through Authentic Beauty: The Shaping of a Set-Apart Young Woman by Leslie Ludy, but my daughter Mary has, and she liked it. Im going to encourage her to write a full review of it soon. This book is not particularly about marriage, but about being who God has called you to be in your teen and young single years. Leslie encourages each reader to develop an intimate fellowship with her Prince, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Thad and I each started reading Erics book, Gods Gift to Women: Discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity, but we couldnt get through more than the first few chapters because of the blush factor. (Later chapters are probably much more readable in this sense.) Eric is very open, perhaps to a fault, about what goes on in the minds of young males, and what temptations even our Christian young people can face every single day (especially in public school, but even in the church). I dont exaggerate in the least when I say that this book sent me straight to my knees in prayer, not just for my own children, but also for their friends.

[A big thanks to Multnomah, the publisher, for sending me review copies of these four books, along with an preview copy of When God Writes Your Life Story, which will be released later this year.]

And finally, a word about Eric and Leslies CD, Faithfully! It has 14 songs in the light pop style (several of just piano), and aimed at young people who dont necessarily know who they will marry yet, but want to entrust this area of their lives to God.

Here are the lyrics for Leslies song Far Beyond:

I hear it in a love song or see it on a movie screen

The kind of perfect love story that I have always dreamed

Would somehow come into my life and yet it seems so out of reach

Its all that I think about sometimes

Will I ever find a love thats meant to be?

Maybe these thoughts seem foolish

To a holy God who made the sea and land

But you were the One who created love between a woman and a man

And deep inside I hear You say you see all my hopes and fears

And if I give to you the pen of my life

Youll write a tale that all Heaven can cheer

Far beyond my deepest hearts desire

Far beyond what I could ever dream

Far beyond my fairy tale imaginations is Your perfect plan for me

Theres no limit to romance in all its beauty

When the Author of love shapes my destiny

Far beyond the most that I could long for

I will find the dreams You have dreamed for me

I could search forever, I could look for true love everywhere

If all my dreams were answered, they still could not compare

To the beauty of Your ways and all Your plans for my life

Cause Youve been scripting out a story for me

Before the very foundations of time

You can find these resources, as well as many on-line articles and an MP3 download of the song Faithfully, at the Ludys web site: http://www.ericandleslie.com

Resources by Josh Harris

Josh Harris is the son of home school pioneers Gregg and Sono Harris. Many of us old-timers remember him as the preteen illustrator of his fathers 21 Rules of This House coloring book and kit. He started New Attitude magazine during his teen years, founded the popular New Attitude conferences in 1999, and as of this September will follow C.J. Mahaney as the senior pastor of Covenant Life, a Sovereign Grace Ministries church in Gaithersburg, Maryland. (http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org)

Ive had the books I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl for several years. I wont do full reviews of them, since I havent read them recently, but at least wanted to mention them!

I Kissed Dating Goodbye, written while Josh was still single, outlines the biblical reasons for not dating in an attempt to find a mate. After selling 800,000 copies and being translated into other languages, it has also been updated, expanded and re-released as a hardback. A study guide is available. http://www.joshharris.com/ikdg/ikdgmain.htm

Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship, written after Joshs marriage to Shannon, goes on to cover the topic of courtship a bit more adequately. In other words, if dating doesnt work the best, what does? This book is full of solid principles and real life stories. Find out more at: http://www.joshharris.com/boymeetsgirl/bmgintro.htm

Here are a few paragraphs from Boy Meets Girl, which follow an acknowledgement that not all courtships culminate in an engagement:

~~~

Its clear that we need to refine our definition of success in courtship. Getting engaged should not be our overriding goal. What should be?

I believe that in a God-glorifying, wisdom-guided courtship we have two central priorities. The first is to treat each other with holiness and sincerity; the second is to make an informed and wise decision about marriage.

In courtship our goals should be to grow and guard. We want to grow closer so we can truly know each others characters, but we also want to guard each others hearts beause the outcome of our relationship is still unknown.

At the beginning of a courtship a man and woman dont know if they should get married. They need to get to know each other, observe each others character, and find out how they relate as a couple. This is what it means to grow closer. But the fact that the future is unknown should also motivate them to treat each other with the kind of integrity that will allow them to look back on their courtship without regret, regardless of the outcome.

Joshs newest book Not Even a Hint: Guarding Your Heart Against Lu** is an attractive hardback published by Multnomah. It has endorsements from such notables as John Piper, Rancy Alcorn, Jerry Bridges, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Rebecca St. James, and others. Like the Ludys books, this one is PG material, but is done discretely and Biblically.

Chapters include:

Not Even a Hint: Why Cant I Seem to Beat Lu**?
What God Called Good: Is It Biology or Is It Sin?
You Cant Save Yourself: Where Can I Find the Power to Change?
A Custom-Tailored lan: Where Am I Weakest and What Can I Do?
Guys and Girls: How Are We Different, and How Can We Help Each Other?
Self-Centered S**: How Do I Deal with M**t**b****n?
Half a Poison Pill Wont Kill You: How Do I Cope the Temptation of Media?
Lone Rangers are Dead Rangers: Why Is Accountability So Important?
The Sword of the Spirit: How Can the Truth Help Me Defeat the Lies?
Holiness Is a Harvest: How Can I Sow to the Spirit?
Appendix: The Path of Repentance

Heres a true confession from Not Even a Hint:

One day when I returned home from work, my wife was gone and a stack of mail was on the kitchen counter. I flipped through the bills. Then I spotted a very explicit lingerie catalog at the bottom of the stack. My pulse quickened. I snatched up the catalog and quickly twisted it into a tube, opened our back door, and threw it into the trash can. As soon as I shut the door, a very intense inner struggle began. God had given me the strength to throw it away. But my sinful desire was lobbying hard. Ill be honest. I really wanted to open up that trash can and pull out the catalog. A dozen thoughts and justifications flew at me: Shannon is gone, so no one would know. Ill only look quickly. Maybe I could pck out some article of clothing for Shannon. Thats it! I wouldnt be lusting; Id be shopping! Its not po**ography. Ill only do it this once.

No! I said aloud. I will ot lift the lid of that trash can. I will not look at that catalog.! If my neighbors had seen me arguing with myself as I paced in our kitchen, they would have thought I was crazy. But my lustful desires kept whispering: It would feel good. You havent done it for a long time. God will forgive you and you can find a humble way to confess it to your accountability group. The fact that Id even think such deceitful thoughts scared me. I grabbed the phone and started calling friends. I dialed Joebusy signal. Ericanswering machine. Well, youve done your best to get help. You might as well indulge.

Shut up!

I dialed Johns number and he answered. Hey, Josh, whats going on?

Hey, buddy, I said with a sigh. I need you to pray for me

~~~

Check out Joshs web site: http://www.joshharris.com/

Courtship: Should Two Become One? -- a set of articles in Sovereign Grace Magazine, one of which is based on Joshs books

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/sgo/v19no5/

Read letters from people sharing their own stories:

http://yourstories-joshharris.blogspot.com/

Dannah Gresh

Dannah Greshs book And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to S**ual Purity seeks to expose Satans lies, help girls break off harmful relationships, and bring healing to those who have been wounded. She includes stories, interviews and insights from Josh Harris, Rebecca St. James, Josh McDowell and others, as well as from countless young women who read the original edition. Like the other books reviewed, this is stuff you will want to preview before handing to your teens, and definitely not leave it around the house for younger children to read. This is not exactly a courtship style book, but it has much valuable information nonetheless. Families who do not approve of dating will want to be aware that there is discussion of what to do on a date. Heres an excellent excerpt in which Dannah contrasts two approaches to romantic relationships: The Crash and Burn versus The Pure, Slow Burn.

~~~

Your first choice is to have a relationship that is an easy road of blissful moments. The problem is that the relationship could potentially end in a fuel fire of pain. These love stories are written by women who are Styrofoam cups and, sometimes, ceramic mugs. [As contrasted to fine china teacups, which Dannah discusses earlier.] Romeo and Juliet are a great example of this. Juliet wears her heart on her sleeve and throws every caution to the wind to be with Romeo. She defies her parents, sneaks around to be with him, and makes easy, heart-defining choices to have secret moments of bliss with Romeo. In the end, they commit suicide because their relationship is opposed. I do like the story, but I sure would not want it to be my great love story. Wheres the sunset? Wheres the happily-ever-after? (Wheres their pulse?)

You can have the sunset love story in your life, but it will mean that you choose the pain that comes in package number two -- the pure, slow burn. The pain here is caused by your own self-control, which really feels much like self-denial. As you guard your heart and your body, you can expect to experience some pain. It is far easier, short-term, to be the girl who throws caution to the wind and lets her heart and body become tangled into the moment. But if your great love story is fueled by the pain that is caused by wise, head-defined choices in the beginning, it may come with a blissful, happily-ever-after ending. If the relationship does end? You will have no regrets because you have not given your heart or your body away. (And there are still lots of nice clean pages upon which to keep writing your story. One broken relationship is not the end!)

~~~

Please check out Dannahs Pure Freedom web site at http://www.purefreedom.org for plenty of helpful information and articles.

I will review two of her resources about modesty, Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty and Secret Keeper Girl (a kit for moms and daughters ages 8-12) in another issue.

~~~

Well, folks, I guess thats about enough for now! Let me know what you think!

In His Sovereign Grace,

Virginia Knowles

http://www.thehopechest.net

  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: [email protected]