Since the conscience holds people to their highest perceived standard, believers need to set that standard to the highest level by submitting to all of God’s Word. As they continually fill their minds with the truths of Scripture, believers clarify God’s perfect law. Their consciences will then call them to live according to that law.
John MacArthur

Forums

Forum Navigation
You need to log in to create posts and topics.

#7-13 part 2: A Firm Foundation -- Application Questions

Forum Archives
738 Posts
#1 · July 30, 2004, 9:10 pm

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE HOPE CHEST HOME SCHOOL NEWS

with Virginia Knowles

#7-13 part 2 on July 30, 2004

A Firm Foundation for a Future Family

Application Questions for Daughters and Moms

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dear Hope Chest friends,

This message is the second section of issue #7-13, A Firm Foundation for a Future Family. Whether or not you have a daughter, I think this material from Sheree Phillips will be a blessing to you. At the end, I have also listed some on-line and audio resources by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters.

Our church, Metro Life, recently hosted an Xtreme youth conference for high school and college age students. I knew that Sheree would be doing one session with just the girls, so I was eager to attend with two of my teenage daughters. Sheree is the wife of Benny, one of our pastors, with whom she co-authored the book Raising Children Who Hunger for God. (I reviewed this book in the February 21 “Don’t Waste Your Life!” issue of the Hope Chest. It is available from http://www.christianbook.com)

Married for almost 32 years, Benny and Sheree are the parents of seven children, who are mostly teens and young adults.  (Two are married, and one just announced his engagement last week.)  The mature fruit in their family life validates their ministry, and so I heartily commend them to you. If you would like to see a picture of Benny and Sheree, click here and scroll about halfway down the page: http://www.metrolife.org/html/leadership.html

In her session, Sheree shared concepts from Titus 2, and exhorted the young ladies to prepare for their future families -- starting now! She encouraged them to embrace Biblical femininity and to develop an affection for marriage, children, and home. In her outline, she provided two pages of application questions for daughters and their mothers as they prepare for future families. I have slightly edited them for length, but here they are!

APPLICATION QUESTIONS FOR DAUGHTERS

1. Biblical Femininity

  • Do I see my need to intentionally pursue preparation for the future? If so, in what specific areas (love for marriage, children, home, domesticity)?
  • Do I make it easy for my dad and other “worthy men” (I.e. pastors, employer, home group leader) to lead me?

2. Developing an affection for marriage:

  • Have I studied what the Bible says about marriage? Do I understand the Biblical purpose for marriage? If not, what can I do to change this?
  • What book can I begin to read in the next month that will teach me about God-centered marriage?
  • What specific things need to change in how I communicate respect and submission to my parents, especially my dad?
  • What media/entertainment influences that are cultivating an unbiblical affection for a wordly, romance-centered attitude in my heart (books, movies, magazines, relationships) must be set aside?
  • How can I be more intentional in my pursuit of being trained to be a wife? (Set up a time to ask your mom what weaknesses she has observed in you that could hinder you from eagerly respecting, submitting to and serving a husband, and then ask for help and accountability from her to change.)

3. Developing an affection for children:

  • Are there sinful attitudes towards children that need to change in my heart? Do I view them as generally tolerable? Irritating? Those to avoid unless I just can’t?
  • What area(s) need to change in how I relate to and treat my younger siblings? How can I grow in demonstrating patience and love toward them?
  • Do children seem to enjoy me? Do they want to greet me and want to be near me? Or do they seem to avoid me? What change(s) can I make to be more welcoming?
  • What opportunities to serve in the church can I consider? Is there are family I can begin to serve? Children’s ministry opportunities I can participate in? Free babysitting I can provide?

4. Developing an affection for home:

  • Do I love spending time at home? Why or why not?
  • Am I faithfully contributing around the house? Consistently doing my responsibilities without frequent reminders? Serving unasked?
  • How often do I just “hang out” with my family? Do they feel something has to be planned a home for me to say no to other events or people?
  • What can I do to cultivate greater affection and skill in areas of domesticity (cleaning, cooking, decorating, home management) in preparation for the future?
 
 
APPLICATION QUESTIONS FOR MOTHERS

The following questions are provided for the purpose of prayerful consideration and honest communication with and input from your husband.

“No pursuit of godliness will be successful without personal, vigorous effort anchored in the grace of God.” Jerry Bridges

Asking ourselves and our husbands heart-searching questions like these will help to uncover sinful attitudes that ultimately result in harmful habits and unbiblical ways of thinking. They will also highlight evidences of God’s sanctifying grace as you see His Spirit at wkr, changing and growing you as a wife, mother and homemaker. As you consider these questions, stop and thank God for evidences of this work in your life!

Perhaps these questions will also help to provide a Spirit-born curriculum for change over the next season. As you “take pains” and “be absorbed” with your participation in the sanctification process, by God’s empowering grace, your progress “will become evident to all” (1 Tim 4:15).

  • Am I providing a compelling example of affection for Biblical womanhood for my daughter(s)? Do I have the kind of affection for marriage, motherhood and domesticity that will inspire and provoke her? Is my love for my husband, children and home visible to her? If not, what needs to change first in my heart and then in my actions?
  • Is the way I am conducting my life making biblical womanhood attractive to my son(s)? Knowing I am still in the sanctification process, am I attempting to do my part to provide for him a God-honoring model of things to look for in a future wife?
  • Are there habits (such as selfishness, arrogance, laziness, unfaithfulness, and procrastination) that need repentance? If so, what are the roots of these sins in my heart? Why am I regularly prone to neglecting my responsibilities, putting off my duties, and choosing to do what I want to do rather than what I ought to do?
  • Is my life more characterized by being busy at home or being busy outside the home? Is there anything that needs to change? Any interests, relationships, hobbies, children’s activities, etc. that should be temporarily or permanently set aside as God reorients my heart toward my home and family?
  • Am I being intentional in the training and discipling of my daughter(s) in areas of domesticity? Or am I assuming “she knows” how to plan and shop for meals, stick to a budget, manage an orderly home, clean, do laundry for more than herself, iron, organize, and make wise decisions about time management?
  • What are the most obvious weaknesses in my daughter’s life? (See application questions for daughters.) Is there anything that needs to change in my attitude or example that may contribute to this weakness in her? What can I do to help her to see the areas of lack in her heart/life and how can I help hold her accountable to change?
  • Do I relate to my husband with the kind of respect, honor, affection, enjoyment and submission that I desire to see my daughter’s future marriage? If not, in what specific area(s) do I need to seek God’s help and my husband’s leadership for change?
  • Is motherhood something I prize? Do my children feel my love, devotion and heartfelt affection for them? Is there a child/children with whom I am regularly bitter, harsh, angry or irritated? What attitudes need repentance? How can I effectively monitor my progress?

Sheree recommends several books for further study:

  • Feminine Appeal by Caroline Mahaney
  • Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem
  • Biblical Womanhood in the Home, edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
  • Lies Women Believe (and the Truth that Sets them Free) by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
  • Spiritual Mothering by Susan Hunt

~~

More on Resources by the Mahaney Family

Carolyn Mahaney is the wife of C.J., who leads the Sovereign Grace Ministries family of churches, of which Metro Life is a part.

I second Sheree’s vote for Feminine Appeal. I liked it so much that I bought a second copy after my first one got dumped in the toilet by my son Ben. I also have the related tape set, To Teach What is Good.

Speaking of resources by the feminine Mahaneys, I personally recommend Janelle Mahaney’s audio message “What’s a Girl to Do?” from the 2002 New Attitude conference. Janelle is C.J. and Carolyn’s youngest daughter. You can find the tape here (it is also available on CD). http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/newat20tapse.html

For outlines of Carolyn Mahaney’s audio messages, check out these pdf files:

To Teach What is Good -- Titus 2 tape series

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/teaching/messages/titus_ii.html

Biblical Femininity:

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/pdf/teaching/biblical_femininity.pdf

A Mother’s Responsibility:

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/pdf/teaching/mothers_responsibility.pdf

A Daughter’s Response (by her daughters!)

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/pdf/teaching/daughters_response.pdf

Questions about modesty? Take a look at this checklist by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters!

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/pdf/teaching/modesty_check.pdf

 

Well, that’s enough for this issue!

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

http://www.thehopechest.net

~~~

 

The Hope Chest is a free email newsletter with encouragement and practical teaching tips. The writer is Virginia Knowles, wife of Thad, mother of nine children, and author of Common Sense Excellence: Faith-Filled Home Education for Preschool to 5th Grade, and The Real Life Home School Mom.

 

Contact information:

  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: [email protected]

Click for thumbs down.0Click for thumbs up.0