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#7-19: We've Counted Up Our Blessings....

#1 · December 4, 2004, 10:05 am

Quote from Forum Archives on December 4, 2004, 10:05 am
Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>
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THE HOPE CHEST HOME SCHOOL NEWS

with Virginia Knowles

#7-19 on December 4, 2004

We've Counted Up Our Blessings

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Hope Chest is a free email newsletter with encouragement and practical teaching tips. The writer is Virginia Knowles, wife of Thad, mother of nine children, and author of Common Sense Excellence: Faith-Filled Home Education for Preschool to 5th Grade, and The Real Life Home School Mom.

Dear Hope Chest friends,

In lieu of a Christmas issue -- which everyone else is doing anyway -- I decided to do a little something different for the December issue! I think you'll enjoy the variety -- everything from home education, health care, practical home making, family dynamics and humor. For those who really like the Christmas stuff, I will send along some reruns from previous December newsletters sometime in the next week or so.

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

www.TheHopeChest.net (more contact information at end of message)

In this issue:

We've Counted Up Our Blessings
Samaritan Ministries Health Cost Sharing Plan: An Idea Whose Time Has Come
What Else is New in the Knowles Family?

Let Heaven and Nature Sing!
Universal Principles from Playdough to Plato

Permutations: Possible Pairs of a Passel of People

The Most Important Pair: Husband and Wife

Stop, Drop and Roll: How to Deal with Conflicts

My Daily School Schedule

How to Keep Your Hand Towels Off the Floor

365 Days of Celebration and Praise -- review of a new book by Julie Lavender
You May Be Quiver-Full Minded If You.... (author unknown)
Feeling Overwhelmed?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We've Counted Up Our Blessings

by Virginia Knowles

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We've counted up our blessings,

Now we're counting them again,

We've got nine terrific children,

In July, we will have ten!

God works in mysterious ways

His wonders to perform

So we're going double digit

Which is way beyond the norm.

Our hands are full, our house is full,

Mom's belly will be full, too.

But there's still room inside our hearts,

For a baby fresh and new.

Rejoice with us!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Samaritan Ministries Health Cost Sharing Plan

(An Idea Whose Time Has Come)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When people find that we have a LARGE family, I know they often wonder how we can afford to have another baby without health insurance. Relax. Practice that Lamaze breathing for a minute. It's really not that bad.

Until last May, we had group health insurance held over for an extra 18 months (because of COBRA) from Thad's YMCA employment. (He is self-employed now.) After that, we looked into the costs of individual insurance. Believe me, it warn't purty!   I priced out plans with high deductibles at over $1000 a month with no maternity coverage! Ouch! So we decided to do something radical -- not get any! After looking back over our previous year's medical expenses and running cost comparisons on a computer spreadsheet, we signed up with the Samaritan Ministries health cost sharing plan.   Basically, the concept is that Christians, who generally have a lower risk of health complications because of their clean lifestyles, pool together their resources and share health costs.  This is coordinated by Samaritan Ministries (SM), who validates the medical bills and divvies the expenses between members.   We pay a $125 annual fee, then $195 per month month (which will probably go up to about $240 soon). The first few months, this fee is sent to SM for administrative overhead, but after that, we pay it directly to the family that SM tells us to send it to. SM does not cover routine doctor visits or anything under $300, but they will pay the remainder of expenses over $300.  After three such events in one year, they pay the whole thing.   There are exclusions for preexisting conditions, car accidents, and congenital birth defects.

So far, we have saved SO much money by not paying for insurance. We have the opportunity to keep our own medical costs under control and not run to the doctor every time someone has a sniffle. This has been very successful. Many health care providers -- including our pediatrician and chiropractor -- give discounts for self-pay patients. Joanna did have an unavoidable middle of the night ER visit in May when we thought she had appendicitis. Florida Hospital gave us a 40% discount for paying cash right away. That brought the bill down to $1,600. We submitted it to SM, and after a few months, the checks all arrived from other SM members families.   When Andrew hurt his neck in July, we took him to the chiropractor who wrote a prescription for a hospital X-ray. This allowed us to totally bypass the ER with its extra wait time and expense. He was fine, but at least we had peace of mind.

When we ran the cost comparisons, we figured that the only thing that would really throw it off was another pregnancy.  Here we are putting it to the test! But again, it's not as "bad" as we thought it would be. The birth center, Special Beginnings, clued me in to the fact that Florida Hospital has a package rate if you pay cash ahead of time. My jaw dropped when the hospital billing department confirmed that price: only $1,800 for mother and baby for a 24 hour stay includes everything for a natural birth except for a $400 epidural. C-sections and extra days cost more. Mama! The total cost for the prenatal care and birth, including midwife, hospital, epidural, labs and 3 ultrasounds should be around $6,000. Since Samaritan Ministries will pay about $3,000 ($200 for every month we have been members prior to the birth), our out of pocket expense should run about $3,000. Not bad! So, even with a high-intervention pregnancy, we are STILL paying less for our total medical expenses than we would if we were on an insurance plan!

I could go on and on about the spiritual and financial benefits of belonging to Samaritan Ministries, but I'd rather send you to their web site: www.SamaritanMinistries.org.   If you do sign up, please mention our name (Thad and Virginia Knowles), and we will get a $75 discount off of one month's payment.   Even without that perk, I highly recommend Samaritan Ministries!

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What Else is New in the Knowles Family?

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Let Heaven and Nature Sing!

Last night, most of my family enjoyed a Christmas Cantata, "Let Heaven and Nature Sing" at Metro Life Church (www.MetroLife.org). My 13 year old daughter Rachel is the youngest singer in the choir this year, and it's been a huge blessing to her. I stayed home because Andrew was sick, but I'll take him, along with Naomi, tonight! I know the producers have planned a whole bunch of surprises, so I can't wait to see it! Most of all, I know I'll appreciate the music, drama and dance focused on the miracle of our Savior's birth. What could be more special than that?

Universal Principles from Playdough to Plato

Any home school mom with a large family juggles how to handle teaching such a diverse mix of ages.   In our family, we run from playdough on one end to Plato on the other.   I'm always asking, "Where's Ben?" At 21 months old, he loves to climb up onto Micah's bunkbed, but doesn't know how to get down yet. Or you might find him hiding under the table trying to open a box of cookies with his teeth. The sweetest place I saw him recently was nestled on Rachel's lap -- while she was playing a sonatina on the piano!

A big thank you to all who responded to my 17 year old daughter Mary's plea for information on the impact of St. Augustine's classic book, City of God.   She received and appreciated many VERY informative e-mails, which I will compile and pass along to you sometime in the next few months. After all that, she decided to write her King's College (www.tkc.edu) Founder's Scholarship essay on Plato's Republic, which she had already read, is much shorter, and is easier to trace in terms of its historical influence. I don't have much of a clue about this book, except that it is a dialogue between Plato's teacher Socrates and one of his students, and that there is an allegory about shadows in a cave.  Not much to go on there. So no, I don't teach classical literature or advanced philosophy. Our home school program is home-based but not home-bound. Mary went to a classical Christian home school program one day a week for the first two years of high school, and then started dual enrolling at a local college last year. She also took a philosophy class from Pastor Benny Phillips and a church history class from Pastor Todd Twining.   She should be well prepared for her Introduction to Western Civilization class at the community college next semester!   I have encouraged her that even if she doesn't get the full scholarship necessary for her to go to King's, she can always self-educate in classical studies on the side. She's already read more than I could ever dream.

Looking back, Mary says she appreciates that I taught her "universal principles" throughout our elementary years historical unit studies. I'm not sure I was even aware of the term "universal principles" at the time. What she means is that she learned how various concepts -- such as courage, honesty and respect for the sanctity of life -- were valid not in just one culture, but throughout nations and generations.   I see that MORE clearly this year with Alpha Virtues, since the younger children and I are studying one virtue theme each week, and we show how that virtue plays out in different cultures. When we studied generosity, our related picture books had such settings as:

Ancient Greece -- King Midas and the Golden Touch by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Biblical times -- Small Gifts in God's Hands by Max Lucado

Medieval Europe -- One Gift Deserves Another by Joanne Oppenheim

the Gold Rush & slavery -- The Legend of Freedom Hill by Linda Jacobs Altman

the 1920s segregated South -- Uncle Jed's Barbershop by Margaret King Mitchell

the Dust Bowl -- Leah's Pony by Elizabeth Friedrich

World War II Canadian homefront -- Just Like New by Ainslie Manson

modern times -- Just Enough and Not Too Much by Kaethe Zemach

-- and more!

So where does the "playdough" in my title "From Playdough to Plato" fit into this? Actually, it doesn't. I despise the stuff! If and when I am nice enough to allow it in the house for a short time (I do soften up once in a while) the firm rule is -- don't bring it ANYWHERE near the carpet! That may not be a universal principle, but it'll do for a temporary, localized one!

Permutations: Possible Pairs of a Passel of People

Mary tried to get into a statistics class at Valencia Community College for next semester, but the times she wanted were full. I personally loved statistics in college and can still compute standard deviations in my head. Anyway, here is a little statistics quiz on permutations for you.

How many possible pairs of people can you make with your family members?   If you have N people in your family, the formula is Pairs = ( N * (N-1)) / 2. In English, that means take the number of family members and subtract 1. Take that new number and multiply it by the original number of family members. Then cut the product in half. Why? I'll give you the example of our own family. The 11 people could each be paired with any of the other 10 people in the family.   That's 110. But we cut the number in half because we would have counted duplicate pairs (Ben with Naomi plus Naomi with Ben).   So now we have 55. Got it? Try it with your family. Can your kids figure this out? Do they need to list the possible pairs by name?

The Most Important Pair: Husband and Wife

Now that we've computed the possible pairs of family relationships, this brings to mind a recent encouragement from Passtor Benny Phillips. What's the most important pair in the family? The one that started it all!   Husband and wife!

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:31-33 (ESV)

Is anything getting in the way of your marriage?   Nothing in your family life should be more important, other than your relationship with God. Not home schooling, not a clean house, not having well-behaved children, not your hobbies, not your girl friends, not your church ministries.  Keep your marriage as top priority after your relationship with God! Everything else will flow more smoothly if that is in order. Everything else with suffer if it isn't.

Here are three brief excerpts from the chapter "Cherishing Your Marriage" in my first book, The Real Life Home School Mom (www.TheHopeChest.net/RealLife.html)

~*~

Moms can be so devoted to home schooling and dads so consumed in their careers that they become apathetic to each other and shove the marriage relationship to the back burner. We think our mates will understand that we are too stressed out now for an intimate conversation or more. We think this will be temporary and that soon we will be back on track, but it drags on and on. This leads to resentment, alienation, and loss of productivity. You will be worse than when you started, because now you need to take more time and emotional energy to restore the relationship and heal the hurts. If your husband senses that the home school, hobbies or ministries are replacing him as the love of your life (after God), he will resist you in your efforts. If you place him as the rightful priority, he can be inspired to lift some of your burdens and energize you to accomplish even more! Carve out prime time for your marriage, even if it means laying aside other activities. A marriage relationship is for a lifetime, long beyond this short period of active motherhood. If you don't invest intensely in this intimate relationship, you may not have much in common when your children leave home.

~*~

Moms are at very close quarters with active, curious children all day. Dads face the unrelenting drain of office politics, meetings, and phone calls. After trying to be patient with other people all day, it is easy to get irritable in the evening. Moms, please don't get so peopled out that your husband, your precious partner, feels unwelcome in his own home. If you need a little buffer time in order to be civil, arrange to lie down alone in a dark room and relax for a few minutes before Dad comes home. Try to make his home coming pleasant with a fresh appearance, a warm greeting, and a tidy house. Give him a chance to take his shoes off and peek at the mail before he gets bombarded with the burdens of the day. Get the children to tidy up and practice their best behavior, too. We can learn to treat each other royally.

~*~

Marriage is a priority, a privilege, and a prize. We need to protect it, nurture it, sanctify it, and commit it to God. A strong marriage is a legacy of love to our children and, in the Lord, is the foundation for building our family team. When children see Mom and Dad deeply in love, isn't this one of the most vital lessons they can learn in this school called home?

Stop, Drop and Roll: How to Deal with Conflicts

OK, now given the fact that there are 55 possible pairs of people in my family (until next July, when there will be 66!) what is the probability that someone will be involved in an unpleasant confrontational conversation (arguement) in a given day?   A mom needs a way to deal with all this and not get overloaded.   Here's a quicky explanation of something that helps me keep my sanity when conflicts arise. I developed this concept from the standard "what to do when you clothes catch on fire" Stop-Drop-and-Roll instructions.

Think of a conflict as a fire that is about to burn you up. If you thrash around wildly or run away, the oxygen is going to feed the flames. You've got to stop, drop and roll.

STOP: When you find your temper flaring, your jaw clenched, your muscles tense, STOP! Don't yell, nag, threaten, accuse, slam doors or otherwise lose it.  You've seen the red warning flag, so STOP! "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, [20] for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." (James 1:19, NIV)

DROP: You've got resentment, bitterness, frustration roiling around inside. It's a burden, and a heavy one at that. You're going to have to lay it down eventually -- why not RIGHT NOW? Drop your burden at the feet of Jesus. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7, NIV) You don't have to carry it one minute longer. Forgive!

ROLL: Get on with it. If there is a solution to your conflict, work it out calmly, paying special attention to preventing a recurrence of the same problem in the future. After that, go about your business and don't let the whole thing stop you in your tracks or cause you to stew. You've got a life to live! "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14, ESV)

When I remember to Stop, Drop and Roll, it helps me solve problems much more effectively and efficiently. I also don't carry around frustration quite as long, which makes me more productive the rest of the day.

My Daily School Schedule

Many conflicts stir up when children don't know what to expect in the day or when everyone needs mom at the same time, and she has to switch gears on a moment's notice. Having a consistent school schedule can really help. Here is how MY time is usually spent during the school day, with obvious flexibility for frequent laundry load changes, juice spills, diaper changes, etc:

9-10 AM -- Math time -- I sit at the dining room table and help Lydia (10), Andrew (7) and Micah (5) with Horizons and Joanna (turning 12 next week) with Saxon.

10-11 AM -- Alpha Virtues time -- I do integrated Bible, literature, history and science with Andrew, Micah and three year old Naomi.

11-12 -- Lydia's turn -- We read history and science together -- her choice of a wide variety of text books, library books and other great resources (current picks: Greenleaf's Famous Men of Rome and lunar astronaut Jim Irwin's Destination Moon).

12-1 -- lunch, cleanup, check e-mail, etc.

1-3 -- I'm available for helping the kids finish their school work, but this is generally my time to rest and get housework done.

Teri Maxwell wrote "the book" on scheduling for home school families (especially large ones). Many mamas have found Manager's of Their Homes to be a lifesaver.   Find out more at www.titus2.com. The Maxwell family has also just announced their new Home School eCards site. Check it out at: http://www.HomeschooleCards.com

How to Keep Your Hand Towels Off the Floor

I know that even petty problems are likely to set us off when we are tired. That's why I like to think of solutions to prevent them in the future. Here's a tip for those whose children are always pulling the hand towels off the rod and letting them fall on the floor... For each hand towel, loop together two circular plastic shower rings, snap one onto the towel rod, and thread the hand towel through the bottom one.   If you fold it vertically in thirds first, it will hang very nicely.   It works!   We hang three hand towels at a time in our hall bath. When someone wants to take a shower, they scooch the rings down to one end and hang their bath towel, which is returned to their bedroom when they are all done. If you only have a few kids, each one could have their own special towel, thus cutting down on germ transfer. Just a thought!

~*~

I hope you've enjoyed this newest peek into the Knowles family. I'd love to hear what has been helpful to you!

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365 Days of Celebration and Praise

Review of a New Book by

Julie Lavender

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Julie Lavender has compiled a very useful and interesting resource -- 365 Days of Celebration and Praise: Daily Devotions and Activities for Homeschooling Families.   This book celebrates a mix of different days and events during the year -- like National Hugging Day, St. Patrick's Day, Potato Lover's Month, Random-Acts of Kindness-Day, National Procrastination Week, and 360 more! Each page has:

Bible reflection related to the theme of the day
Questions to Discuss
Related Activity
Curriculum Connection
Verse to Memorize
Prayer Suggestion

The activities are simple and doable.  They enhance rather than replace your regular curriculum -- just a little spice to add variety to your home school life! You probably won't be interested in every single one, but there are enough here that most of them will catch your attention. Here's a sample:

December 3

Cookie-Cutter Week

This week is set aside to celebrate the joy of Christmas baking. What does it mean to say, "cut from the same pattern"? Read Romans 12:1-8 to see what Paul says about being the same "pattern" as the rest of the world.

Questions to Discuss: How can you be a living sacrifice to God? How can you, as a Christian, be different from those of tihs world who are not Christians?

Related Activity: Make gingerbread cookies to look like your family.

Curriculum Connection: Read the story of "The Gingerbread Boy." Who are the main characters? What is the setting of the story?

Verse to Memorize: Colossians 3:1-2 -- "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

Prayer Suggestion: Hold a cookie cutter in your hand. Make sure that each person in the family has a very different cookie cutter. Ask God to hep you, as a Christian, to be different -- to avoid giving in to sinful desires.

~*~

365 Days of Celebration and Praise is published by Jossey-Bass (www.josseybass.com) but it would be easier to order it from www.Amazon.com. The list price is $13.95.

Julie's e-mail address is: [email protected]

You can find another review on The Old Schoolhouse web site at:

http://www.thehomeschoolmagazine.com/reviews/from_old_site/favorite_resources.htm#365%20Days%20of%20Celebration%20&%20Praise

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You May Be Quiver-Full Minded If You.....

Author Unknown

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You May be Quiver-Fill Minded If You...

wonder WHY they make 4 roll packs of toilet paper.
add a second (or third) refrigerator
schedule bathroom time
take at least 2 carts in the grocery store
"Family Meal packs" at restaurants are a laugh
bulk package of hamburger is a one meal serving size
family vehicle is mistaken as the church shuttle
laugh at the term: "Institutional size"
goodnight and goodbye kisses, involves a lineup and head count
wish the library had shopping carts
consider the application of bathroom stalls for domestic uses
people stop and stare, laugh or glare
life is full of the 3 'B's: bulk, benches and bunks
diapers have been a staple on shopping list nonstop since 80s
privately chuckle when others worry about their dinner party for 12
checker at grocery always asks if you're having a party
wrestle Dad time is split into two sessions
own more than four bunk beds
think house is empty with five kids home
grandson remembers you pregnant
trip to restaurant supply store is your dream date
Tide company sends a Christmas card

when your friends can compare how long they've known you by the number of kids you had when you met

new neighbors think you run a day care
know that your bathtub will hold 5 kids

Yes, we can relate!   I've had at least one child (and up to three) in diapers since June 1987.  We buy toilet paper by the case at Sam's.  Since the library doesn't have shopping carts, we bring along an old baby stroller with a big plastic bin wedged on top. After all, sometimes we have well over 100 books checked out at a time!  We only have three sets of bunk beds -- so far!  Our 15 passenger van once did belong to a Christian school.

Where did the phrase "quiver full" come from in the first place? Straight from Scripture!

Psalm 127:1-5 (ESV)


Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,

eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

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Feeling Overwhelmed?

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If you've read this far, you might be feeling overwhelmed. That isn't my intention. I hear moms say all the time, "I can't handle my two children -- how can you home school nine of them?" It truly is by the grace of God, not by any of my own abilities.   I always remind myself, "Grace is given where grace is needed."

You might think that I get pregnant so often because it is easy for me. It isn't.  Pregnancy has already brought this 41 year old mama plenty of fatigue, joint pain, headaches, and constant nausea.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians12:9, NIV)

Our attitudes are our own choices. We are not bound by circumstances. What we choose to dwell on will shape who we are.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (Philippians 4:4-8, NIV)

I choose to keep a good attitude about mothering a large family, and not just as a psychological trick to get me through.    Scripture says that children truly are a treasure from God -- and I want to think about what is true! I made up this lullabye for my older girls when they were tiny, as a way of affirming my love for them.   I now sing it as a way to affirm the blessing of motherhood!

Sweet little babies are blessings from Heaven

Made by the hand of Almighty God.

He gives us children, he makes us fruitful

And he causes us to love!

Sleep tight, everyone!

In His Sovereign Grace,

Virginia Knowles

www.TheHopeChest.net

Hope Chest Contact information:

Web site: http://www.thehopechest.net
Resource orders: http://www.thehopechest.net/ResourceOrders.html
Personal Email: [email protected]
Subscription: [email protected]
Unsubscription: [email protected]
  --  To subscribe, send ANY message to: [email protected]  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: [email protected]  Visit my web site at www://thehopechest.net  

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE HOPE CHEST HOME SCHOOL NEWS

with Virginia Knowles

#7-19 on December 4, 2004

We've Counted Up Our Blessings

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Hope Chest is a free email newsletter with encouragement and practical teaching tips. The writer is Virginia Knowles, wife of Thad, mother of nine children, and author of Common Sense Excellence: Faith-Filled Home Education for Preschool to 5th Grade, and The Real Life Home School Mom.

Dear Hope Chest friends,

In lieu of a Christmas issue -- which everyone else is doing anyway -- I decided to do a little something different for the December issue! I think you'll enjoy the variety -- everything from home education, health care, practical home making, family dynamics and humor. For those who really like the Christmas stuff, I will send along some reruns from previous December newsletters sometime in the next week or so.

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

http://www.TheHopeChest.net (more contact information at end of message)

In this issue:

We've Counted Up Our Blessings
Samaritan Ministries Health Cost Sharing Plan: An Idea Whose Time Has Come
What Else is New in the Knowles Family?

Let Heaven and Nature Sing!
Universal Principles from Playdough to Plato
Permutations: Possible Pairs of a Passel of People
The Most Important Pair: Husband and Wife
Stop, Drop and Roll: How to Deal with Conflicts
My Daily School Schedule
How to Keep Your Hand Towels Off the Floor

365 Days of Celebration and Praise -- review of a new book by Julie Lavender
You May Be Quiver-Full Minded If You.... (author unknown)
Feeling Overwhelmed?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We've Counted Up Our Blessings

by Virginia Knowles

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We've counted up our blessings,

Now we're counting them again,

We've got nine terrific children,

In July, we will have ten!

God works in mysterious ways

His wonders to perform

So we're going double digit

Which is way beyond the norm.

Our hands are full, our house is full,

Mom's belly will be full, too.

But there's still room inside our hearts,

For a baby fresh and new.

Rejoice with us!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Samaritan Ministries Health Cost Sharing Plan

(An Idea Whose Time Has Come)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When people find that we have a LARGE family, I know they often wonder how we can afford to have another baby without health insurance. Relax. Practice that Lamaze breathing for a minute. It's really not that bad.

Until last May, we had group health insurance held over for an extra 18 months (because of COBRA) from Thad's YMCA employment. (He is self-employed now.) After that, we looked into the costs of individual insurance. Believe me, it warn't purty! I priced out plans with high deductibles at over $1000 a month with no maternity coverage! Ouch! So we decided to do something radical -- not get any! After looking back over our previous year's medical expenses and running cost comparisons on a computer spreadsheet, we signed up with the Samaritan Ministries health cost sharing plan. Basically, the concept is that Christians, who generally have a lower risk of health complications because of their clean lifestyles, pool together their resources and share health costs. This is coordinated by Samaritan Ministries (SM), who validates the medical bills and divvies the expenses between members. We pay a $125 annual fee, then $195 per month month (which will probably go up to about $240 soon). The first few months, this fee is sent to SM for administrative overhead, but after that, we pay it directly to the family that SM tells us to send it to. SM does not cover routine doctor visits or anything under $300, but they will pay the remainder of expenses over $300. After three such events in one year, they pay the whole thing. There are exclusions for preexisting conditions, car accidents, and congenital birth defects.

So far, we have saved SO much money by not paying for insurance. We have the opportunity to keep our own medical costs under control and not run to the doctor every time someone has a sniffle. This has been very successful. Many health care providers -- including our pediatrician and chiropractor -- give discounts for self-pay patients. Joanna did have an unavoidable middle of the night ER visit in May when we thought she had appendicitis. Florida Hospital gave us a 40% discount for paying cash right away. That brought the bill down to $1,600. We submitted it to SM, and after a few months, the checks all arrived from other SM members families. When Andrew hurt his neck in July, we took him to the chiropractor who wrote a prescription for a hospital X-ray. This allowed us to totally bypass the ER with its extra wait time and expense. He was fine, but at least we had peace of mind.

When we ran the cost comparisons, we figured that the only thing that would really throw it off was another pregnancy. Here we are putting it to the test! But again, it's not as "bad" as we thought it would be. The birth center, Special Beginnings, clued me in to the fact that Florida Hospital has a package rate if you pay cash ahead of time. My jaw dropped when the hospital billing department confirmed that price: only $1,800 for mother and baby for a 24 hour stay includes everything for a natural birth except for a $400 epidural. C-sections and extra days cost more. Mama! The total cost for the prenatal care and birth, including midwife, hospital, epidural, labs and 3 ultrasounds should be around $6,000. Since Samaritan Ministries will pay about $3,000 ($200 for every month we have been members prior to the birth), our out of pocket expense should run about $3,000. Not bad! So, even with a high-intervention pregnancy, we are STILL paying less for our total medical expenses than we would if we were on an insurance plan!

I could go on and on about the spiritual and financial benefits of belonging to Samaritan Ministries, but I'd rather send you to their web site: http://www.SamaritanMinistries.org. If you do sign up, please mention our name (Thad and Virginia Knowles), and we will get a $75 discount off of one month's payment. Even without that perk, I highly recommend Samaritan Ministries!

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What Else is New in the Knowles Family?

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Let Heaven and Nature Sing!

Last night, most of my family enjoyed a Christmas Cantata, "Let Heaven and Nature Sing" at Metro Life Church (http://www.MetroLife.org). My 13 year old daughter Rachel is the youngest singer in the choir this year, and it's been a huge blessing to her. I stayed home because Andrew was sick, but I'll take him, along with Naomi, tonight! I know the producers have planned a whole bunch of surprises, so I can't wait to see it! Most of all, I know I'll appreciate the music, drama and dance focused on the miracle of our Savior's birth. What could be more special than that?

Universal Principles from Playdough to Plato

Any home school mom with a large family juggles how to handle teaching such a diverse mix of ages. In our family, we run from playdough on one end to Plato on the other. I'm always asking, "Where's Ben?" At 21 months old, he loves to climb up onto Micah's bunkbed, but doesn't know how to get down yet. Or you might find him hiding under the table trying to open a box of cookies with his teeth. The sweetest place I saw him recently was nestled on Rachel's lap -- while she was playing a sonatina on the piano!

A big thank you to all who responded to my 17 year old daughter Mary's plea for information on the impact of St. Augustine's classic book, City of God. She received and appreciated many VERY informative e-mails, which I will compile and pass along to you sometime in the next few months. After all that, she decided to write her King's College (http://www.tkc.edu) Founder's Scholarship essay on Plato's Republic, which she had already read, is much shorter, and is easier to trace in terms of its historical influence. I don't have much of a clue about this book, except that it is a dialogue between Plato's teacher Socrates and one of his students, and that there is an allegory about shadows in a cave. Not much to go on there. So no, I don't teach classical literature or advanced philosophy. Our home school program is home-based but not home-bound. Mary went to a classical Christian home school program one day a week for the first two years of high school, and then started dual enrolling at a local college last year. She also took a philosophy class from Pastor Benny Phillips and a church history class from Pastor Todd Twining. She should be well prepared for her Introduction to Western Civilization class at the community college next semester! I have encouraged her that even if she doesn't get the full scholarship necessary for her to go to King's, she can always self-educate in classical studies on the side. She's already read more than I could ever dream.

Looking back, Mary says she appreciates that I taught her "universal principles" throughout our elementary years historical unit studies. I'm not sure I was even aware of the term "universal principles" at the time. What she means is that she learned how various concepts -- such as courage, honesty and respect for the sanctity of life -- were valid not in just one culture, but throughout nations and generations. I see that MORE clearly this year with Alpha Virtues, since the younger children and I are studying one virtue theme each week, and we show how that virtue plays out in different cultures. When we studied generosity, our related picture books had such settings as:

Ancient Greece -- King Midas and the Golden Touch by Nathaniel Hawthorne
Biblical times -- Small Gifts in God's Hands by Max Lucado
Medieval Europe -- One Gift Deserves Another by Joanne Oppenheim
the Gold Rush & slavery -- The Legend of Freedom Hill by Linda Jacobs Altman
the 1920s segregated South -- Uncle Jed's Barbershop by Margaret King Mitchell
the Dust Bowl -- Leah's Pony by Elizabeth Friedrich
World War II Canadian homefront -- Just Like New by Ainslie Manson
modern times -- Just Enough and Not Too Much by Kaethe Zemach
-- and more!

So where does the "playdough" in my title "From Playdough to Plato" fit into this? Actually, it doesn't. I despise the stuff! If and when I am nice enough to allow it in the house for a short time (I do soften up once in a while) the firm rule is -- don't bring it ANYWHERE near the carpet! That may not be a universal principle, but it'll do for a temporary, localized one!

Permutations: Possible Pairs of a Passel of People

Mary tried to get into a statistics class at Valencia Community College for next semester, but the times she wanted were full. I personally loved statistics in college and can still compute standard deviations in my head. Anyway, here is a little statistics quiz on permutations for you.

How many possible pairs of people can you make with your family members? If you have N people in your family, the formula is Pairs = ( N * (N-1)) / 2. In English, that means take the number of family members and subtract 1. Take that new number and multiply it by the original number of family members. Then cut the product in half. Why? I'll give you the example of our own family. The 11 people could each be paired with any of the other 10 people in the family. That's 110. But we cut the number in half because we would have counted duplicate pairs (Ben with Naomi plus Naomi with Ben). So now we have 55. Got it? Try it with your family. Can your kids figure this out? Do they need to list the possible pairs by name?

The Most Important Pair: Husband and Wife

Now that we've computed the possible pairs of family relationships, this brings to mind a recent encouragement from Passtor Benny Phillips. What's the most important pair in the family? The one that started it all! Husband and wife!

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:31-33 (ESV)

Is anything getting in the way of your marriage? Nothing in your family life should be more important, other than your relationship with God. Not home schooling, not a clean house, not having well-behaved children, not your hobbies, not your girl friends, not your church ministries. Keep your marriage as top priority after your relationship with God! Everything else will flow more smoothly if that is in order. Everything else with suffer if it isn't.

Here are three brief excerpts from the chapter "Cherishing Your Marriage" in my first book, The Real Life Home School Mom (http://www.TheHopeChest.net/RealLife.html)

~*~

Moms can be so devoted to home schooling and dads so consumed in their careers that they become apathetic to each other and shove the marriage relationship to the back burner. We think our mates will understand that we are too stressed out now for an intimate conversation or more. We think this will be temporary and that soon we will be back on track, but it drags on and on. This leads to resentment, alienation, and loss of productivity. You will be worse than when you started, because now you need to take more time and emotional energy to restore the relationship and heal the hurts. If your husband senses that the home school, hobbies or ministries are replacing him as the love of your life (after God), he will resist you in your efforts. If you place him as the rightful priority, he can be inspired to lift some of your burdens and energize you to accomplish even more! Carve out prime time for your marriage, even if it means laying aside other activities. A marriage relationship is for a lifetime, long beyond this short period of active motherhood. If you don't invest intensely in this intimate relationship, you may not have much in common when your children leave home.

~*~

Moms are at very close quarters with active, curious children all day. Dads face the unrelenting drain of office politics, meetings, and phone calls. After trying to be patient with other people all day, it is easy to get irritable in the evening. Moms, please don't get so peopled out that your husband, your precious partner, feels unwelcome in his own home. If you need a little buffer time in order to be civil, arrange to lie down alone in a dark room and relax for a few minutes before Dad comes home. Try to make his home coming pleasant with a fresh appearance, a warm greeting, and a tidy house. Give him a chance to take his shoes off and peek at the mail before he gets bombarded with the burdens of the day. Get the children to tidy up and practice their best behavior, too. We can learn to treat each other royally.

~*~

Marriage is a priority, a privilege, and a prize. We need to protect it, nurture it, sanctify it, and commit it to God. A strong marriage is a legacy of love to our children and, in the Lord, is the foundation for building our family team. When children see Mom and Dad deeply in love, isn't this one of the most vital lessons they can learn in this school called home?

Stop, Drop and Roll: How to Deal with Conflicts

OK, now given the fact that there are 55 possible pairs of people in my family (until next July, when there will be 66!) what is the probability that someone will be involved in an unpleasant confrontational conversation (arguement) in a given day? A mom needs a way to deal with all this and not get overloaded. Here's a quicky explanation of something that helps me keep my sanity when conflicts arise. I developed this concept from the standard "what to do when you clothes catch on fire" Stop-Drop-and-Roll instructions.

Think of a conflict as a fire that is about to burn you up. If you thrash around wildly or run away, the oxygen is going to feed the flames. You've got to stop, drop and roll.

STOP: When you find your temper flaring, your jaw clenched, your muscles tense, STOP! Don't yell, nag, threaten, accuse, slam doors or otherwise lose it. You've seen the red warning flag, so STOP! "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, [20] for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." (James 1:19, NIV)

DROP: You've got resentment, bitterness, frustration roiling around inside. It's a burden, and a heavy one at that. You're going to have to lay it down eventually -- why not RIGHT NOW? Drop your burden at the feet of Jesus. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7, NIV) You don't have to carry it one minute longer. Forgive!

ROLL: Get on with it. If there is a solution to your conflict, work it out calmly, paying special attention to preventing a recurrence of the same problem in the future. After that, go about your business and don't let the whole thing stop you in your tracks or cause you to stew. You've got a life to live! "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14, ESV)

When I remember to Stop, Drop and Roll, it helps me solve problems much more effectively and efficiently. I also don't carry around frustration quite as long, which makes me more productive the rest of the day.

My Daily School Schedule

Many conflicts stir up when children don't know what to expect in the day or when everyone needs mom at the same time, and she has to switch gears on a moment's notice. Having a consistent school schedule can really help. Here is how MY time is usually spent during the school day, with obvious flexibility for frequent laundry load changes, juice spills, diaper changes, etc:

9-10 AM -- Math time -- I sit at the dining room table and help Lydia (10), Andrew (7) and Micah (5) with Horizons and Joanna (turning 12 next week) with Saxon.

10-11 AM -- Alpha Virtues time -- I do integrated Bible, literature, history and science with Andrew, Micah and three year old Naomi.

11-12 -- Lydia's turn -- We read history and science together -- her choice of a wide variety of text books, library books and other great resources (current picks: Greenleaf's Famous Men of Rome and lunar astronaut Jim Irwin's Destination Moon).

12-1 -- lunch, cleanup, check e-mail, etc.

1-3 -- I'm available for helping the kids finish their school work, but this is generally my time to rest and get housework done.

Teri Maxwell wrote "the book" on scheduling for home school families (especially large ones). Many mamas have found Manager's of Their Homes to be a lifesaver. Find out more at http://www.titus2.com. The Maxwell family has also just announced their new Home School eCards site. Check it out at: http://www.HomeschooleCards.com

How to Keep Your Hand Towels Off the Floor

I know that even petty problems are likely to set us off when we are tired. That's why I like to think of solutions to prevent them in the future. Here's a tip for those whose children are always pulling the hand towels off the rod and letting them fall on the floor... For each hand towel, loop together two circular plastic shower rings, snap one onto the towel rod, and thread the hand towel through the bottom one. If you fold it vertically in thirds first, it will hang very nicely. It works! We hang three hand towels at a time in our hall bath. When someone wants to take a shower, they scooch the rings down to one end and hang their bath towel, which is returned to their bedroom when they are all done. If you only have a few kids, each one could have their own special towel, thus cutting down on germ transfer. Just a thought!

~*~

I hope you've enjoyed this newest peek into the Knowles family. I'd love to hear what has been helpful to you!

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365 Days of Celebration and Praise

Review of a New Book by

Julie Lavender

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Julie Lavender has compiled a very useful and interesting resource -- 365 Days of Celebration and Praise: Daily Devotions and Activities for Homeschooling Families. This book celebrates a mix of different days and events during the year -- like National Hugging Day, St. Patrick's Day, Potato Lover's Month, Random-Acts of Kindness-Day, National Procrastination Week, and 360 more! Each page has:

Bible reflection related to the theme of the day
Questions to Discuss
Related Activity
Curriculum Connection
Verse to Memorize
Prayer Suggestion

The activities are simple and doable. They enhance rather than replace your regular curriculum -- just a little spice to add variety to your home school life! You probably won't be interested in every single one, but there are enough here that most of them will catch your attention. Here's a sample:

December 3

Cookie-Cutter Week

This week is set aside to celebrate the joy of Christmas baking. What does it mean to say, "cut from the same pattern"? Read Romans 12:1-8 to see what Paul says about being the same "pattern" as the rest of the world.

Questions to Discuss: How can you be a living sacrifice to God? How can you, as a Christian, be different from those of tihs world who are not Christians?

Related Activity: Make gingerbread cookies to look like your family.

Curriculum Connection: Read the story of "The Gingerbread Boy." Who are the main characters? What is the setting of the story?

Verse to Memorize: Colossians 3:1-2 -- "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

Prayer Suggestion: Hold a cookie cutter in your hand. Make sure that each person in the family has a very different cookie cutter. Ask God to hep you, as a Christian, to be different -- to avoid giving in to sinful desires.

~*~

365 Days of Celebration and Praise is published by Jossey-Bass (http://www.josseybass.com) but it would be easier to order it from http://www.Amazon.com. The list price is $13.95.

Julie's e-mail address is: [email protected]

You can find another review on The Old Schoolhouse web site at:

http://www.thehomeschoolmagazine.com/reviews/from_old_site/favorite_resources.htm#365%20Days%20of%20Celebration%20&%20Praise

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You May Be Quiver-Full Minded If You.....

Author Unknown

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You May be Quiver-Fill Minded If You...

wonder WHY they make 4 roll packs of toilet paper.

add a second (or third) refrigerator

schedule bathroom time

take at least 2 carts in the grocery store

"Family Meal packs" at restaurants are a laugh

bulk package of hamburger is a one meal serving size

family vehicle is mistaken as the church shuttle

laugh at the term: "Institutional size"

goodnight and goodbye kisses, involves a lineup and head count

wish the library had shopping carts

consider the application of bathroom stalls for domestic uses

people stop and stare, laugh or glare

life is full of the 3 'B's: bulk, benches and bunks

diapers have been a staple on shopping list nonstop since 80s

privately chuckle when others worry about their dinner party for 12

checker at grocery always asks if you're having a party

wrestle Dad time is split into two sessions

own more than four bunk beds

think house is empty with five kids home

grandson remembers you pregnant

trip to restaurant supply store is your dream date

Tide company sends a Christmas card

when your friends can compare how long they've known you by the number of kids you had when you met

new neighbors think you run a day care

know that your bathtub will hold 5 kids

Yes, we can relate! I've had at least one child (and up to three) in diapers since June 1987. We buy toilet paper by the case at Sam's. Since the library doesn't have shopping carts, we bring along an old baby stroller with a big plastic bin wedged on top. After all, sometimes we have well over 100 books checked out at a time! We only have three sets of bunk beds -- so far! Our 15 passenger van once did belong to a Christian school.

Where did the phrase "quiver full" come from in the first place? Straight from Scripture!

Psalm 127:1-5 (ESV)

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,

eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

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Feeling Overwhelmed?

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If you've read this far, you might be feeling overwhelmed. That isn't my intention. I hear moms say all the time, "I can't handle my two children -- how can you home school nine of them?" It truly is by the grace of God, not by any of my own abilities. I always remind myself, "Grace is given where grace is needed."

You might think that I get pregnant so often because it is easy for me. It isn't. Pregnancy has already brought this 41 year old mama plenty of fatigue, joint pain, headaches, and constant nausea.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians12:9, NIV)

Our attitudes are our own choices. We are not bound by circumstances. What we choose to dwell on will shape who we are.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (Philippians 4:4-8, NIV)

I choose to keep a good attitude about mothering a large family, and not just as a psychological trick to get me through. Scripture says that children truly are a treasure from God -- and I want to think about what is true! I made up this lullabye for my older girls when they were tiny, as a way of affirming my love for them. I now sing it as a way to affirm the blessing of motherhood!

Sweet little babies are blessings from Heaven

Made by the hand of Almighty God.

He gives us children, he makes us fruitful

And he causes us to love!

Sleep tight, everyone!

In His Sovereign Grace,

Virginia Knowles

http://www.TheHopeChest.net

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