#9-4: Visionary & Virtuous!
Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>
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Hope Chest Home School News
with Virginia Knowles
May 20, 2006
#9-4: Visionary & Virtuous!
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Dear Hope Chest readers,
Were on a roll, and I hope youre enjoying the ride! For the past month or so, the Hope Chest has been exploring the issue of raising daughters to glorify God in ways that are distinctly counter cultural. For some of you, this might seem downright weird. For others, its like a breath of fresh air in a sea of stench. For others, its a word of reproof and admonition, which might feel a bit uncomfortable. But here we are, back for more -- so much more! I want to introduce you to a few resources geared to help you raise visionary and virtuous daughters. I dont want to just give you dry facts, so Ive attempted to weave some life story and salty commentary (in the Biblical sense of salt) along the way. Lets go! (Hey, if you dont have girls in your home, read anyway! Your son might get married to one some day!)
In this issue you will find reviews of these resources, plus a few more things:
© Review of So Much More by Anna Sophia Botkin and Elizabeth Botkin
© Review of Jennie B. and the Pilot audio message by Mrs. Jennie Chancey
© Review of Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacey McDonald
© A Bit of Balance from Mardy Freeman
Sometime this summer, I hope to send out brief reviews of some other resources. I dont plan to write much else for the Hope Chest for the next few months -- maybe just a tidbit here and there. I may send out some book excerpts, though. I want to be faithful to my own family and home, as well as plan lessons for a co-op English class next fall, so Im taking a bit of a summer break from writing the Hope Chest.
In other news, my daughter Mary, who turns 19 next month, started her internship at the Orlando Sentinel newspaper this week. Her first shirttails credit (at the bottom of the story, as a contributing writer) was for a story on a fatal car wreck on I-4. Not the cheeriest way to start out, but she is working on other news stories, too. Julia (17) is working three days a week at church as part of the summer crew, doing whatever needs to be done in the facility. The rest of us are mostly hanging out at home for the summer! Our school year officially ends this Friday, but weve been winding down ever since we got sick a few weeks ago. The kids all read every day, and were finishing up math books. I hope that we get into a good routine THIS summer for once!
As of Monday, I will have small stock of my books Common Sense Excellence: Faith-Filled Home Education for Preschool to 5th Grade and The Real Life Home School Mom available for purchase. You can go to my web site (http://www.TheHopeChest.net) for more information. I will also be ordering a fresh batch of the Learners Journal lesson planner and resource log from the printer soon. If you are at the Florida home school convention next weekend, you can visit Faithful Bookshops booth to see the journals because Jeff and Doreen Morgan have ordered two dozen copies to sell there. I wont be able to attend the convention this year. Maybe next time!
May you all have a wonderful summer of family togetherness!
Virginia Knowles
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So Much More by Anna Sofia Botkin and Elizabeth Botkin
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Back in October, I picked up a Vision Forum catalog and thumbed through it with an attitude. You see, I get a bit prickled when I see the convictions of these folks about family and church, and how far they actually take it in real life. Then my eyes started to bug out not in frustration, but in amazement. Ill get to that in a minute. First, let me take you back 20 years ago.
Thad and I stood before God and many human witnesses in the covenant of marriage in November 1985. A mere six months later, we packed up our little newlywed apartment here in Central Florida and moved to Maryland to be near my parents and to follow some friends who had joined the Great Commission Church in Silver Spring. I was in for a culture shock. Here I was, 22 years old, a college educated computer programmer. There they were, home school mommies, having babies by the houseful, wiping runny noses, and reciting whole picture books from memory. In our home group, the wives used to meet once a month for fellowship, often at the home of our group leader, Geoff and his wife, Vickie. Sitting in their living room during one wives meeting, I had the audacity to complain that all they did was talk about children, and I didnt have any. One of the ladies cracked back, Then why dont you start? And when I asked for a recommendation to a family doctor, they all told me to go to dear old Dr. Boyle, a Catholic guy with a dozen kids, who when I asked for a change in my birth control method, asked me pointedly, Why dont you just start having babies? So I did! And I was hooked! I guess thats obvious, considering I have 10 of them now. While I was pregnant, I read The Way Home by Mary Pride, which sparked a real heart change in my attitude toward children and home. I soaked up the living example of the lovely ladies at church. I watched how they related to their husbands and children, how they cared for their homes, what curriculum they chose for home schooling. I was hooked. I wanted to start doing homemaker sorts of things, so I asked Vickie to teach me how to quilt. She and our friend Nita showed me how to do a log cabin block and other patterns in her sewing room. I observed her home, how resourcefully she used what she had, how graciously she showed hospitality and nurtured the women in the home group. She once commented that she was glad that her family had only one car, because it kept her from running around town spending too much money instead of being home nurturing her children two bright little boys and a toddler girl. Then she got pregnant again with a second little girl, and we grew fat together.
Why am I telling you all this? Those two little girls grew up under their mothers sterling example and their fathers careful teaching. They listened to the tales of countless world-weary young adults who were visiting at their parents table. From this heart-wealth of their girlhood, they turned into unusually mature young women and wrote a book, a very fine book, called So Much More, subtitled The Remarkable Influence of Visionary Daughters on the Kingdom of God. As soon as I saw it in the Vision Forum catalog, my heart cried out in longing for the days of early motherhood, when I was filled with such idealism for my fledgling family. What I would give for a second chance to go back and follow through with all of the things I laid aside in the busyness and cultural pressures of life. If only! All of these thoughts rushed in even before I got to see the book. I told Thad I wanted to order it, and he offered to get it for me for Christmas. So I had to wait a while. It was worth it. The first time I read it, I thought, Yes, yes, yes! This is so convicting and so counter culturally radical! Then I set it aside and mulled for a while, and thought, But what about this? Isnt it a little too radical? Shouldnt they loosen up? Then I started reading it a second time, and thought, What was it that seemed so out of line? Really, I do go back and forth on this. Im not quite sure what I agree with and what I dont. Then I ask myself, Is this because I am more concerned about what Scripture says, or more concerned with what the world or my excuses would whisper at me? Then I ask myself, Is this a universal principle that needs to be applied by everyone, and if not, perhaps it is presented a bit strongly? Well, either way, this book is extremely valuable because it makes you THINK about the ways we have been brought up, what we have assumed is normal in family life. I would agree with the Botkin sisters when they say, We believe that in a day of extreme apostasy and judgment, extreme measures are exactly what are called for, and that a drastic step in the opposite direction is exactly what we need to take. They quote their Dad as saying, Careful conformity to Gods standards for righteous living is not legalism but faithful maturity. Accusations of legalism are the first defense of the man (or woman) who is ashamed and reluctant to repent.
Now you are probably really befuddled, because I havent even told you what this book is about. Its about fathers and daughters, which makes it very unique in this day and age. Its about the folly of feminism, whose roots sink deep into the muck of Marxism. (The book contains numerous well-documented quotes about both of these destructive movements.) Its about having a purity of purpose and a vision of virtue. Its about why we should be living a life of stark contrast to the morally bankrupt culture around us. Its about daughters being a blessing and a help to their own parents. Its about 14 young women who have faced down myriad opportunities, and chosen the better part. Its about college, careers, ministry work, family business, courtship, submission, femininity, modesty, purity, and so forth. It is The Way Home for daughters! (What do you think, Mary Pride?) I wont say much more, because the book says so much more for itself! Heres an excerpt from chapter 12:
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If Im supposed to be an active part of my family, then does that mean I shold live at home until Im married? In historic biblical circumstances, a girl lived at home under her fathers roof until she was married.
But that was then and this is now, right? What women have now is neither progress nor improvement. Western women are so much worse off than they have been for a long time. Our plans and desires should not be based on what we want or what the culture says we need. We should seek Gods best. We should seek and welcome Gods protection. We should also seek and welcome our fathers protection until we have our husbands protection. It may not be unlawful to live in an environment that doesnt offer protection, but is it profitable?
It is a fathers responsibility to provide for his daughter, lead her, and protect her body, soul, mind, and emotions. If a daughter is wise enough to understand her need to be fully under the authority and protection of her father, its so logical that she would seek those all the way, instead of giving them a token nod. (Sure, I only see my father every few months, but if he tells me to do something, I obey.)
Throughout the whole Bible we see examples of young women who lived at home under their fathers protection until they were given in marriage. One example of a daughter who left home to seek friends outside the covenant community is Dinah, who is interestingly called the daughter of Leah instead of the daughter of Jacob. Look her up in Genesis 34 and see what a mess she made for herself, her family, and the entire neighboring kingdom
The weight of biblical passages seem to strongly indicate that the home is the womans domain. Why should this be true only for married women? Proverbs 7:11 describes one of the wiles of the harlot: She is boisterous and rebellious, her feet do not remain at home. This description could match many of the Christian girls we know. They would be outraged and insulted to be likened to harlots, but they are unwittingly acting like them. The godly woman loves to be in her home.
Sarah says: It is such a blessing for me to be under my fathers roof under his authority, protection, and leadership. No longer do I seek to leave it in search of a more significant position. It is such a joy to know that I am part of a family that is a team a unit that works together to further Gods kingdom for the glory of God. We are no longer a household of individuals with our own ministries and activities independent of one another for then the family cannot function as God designed it. I am amazed at the difference in our lives due to the work God has done in our hearts.
Can a girl really accomplish as much living at home as outside it? We know the idea of moving back home sounds absolutely insane to most girls at first. They just cant reconcile the ideas of living at home and doing important things for God. This is because few people understand what the home is really all about anymore. If you think we are advocating your moving home to lie around on the sofa, watch movies and read teen magazines, think again. The Proverbs 31 woman did not eat the bread of idleness, and neither can we. The biblical home is not a center of leisure and entertainment, as most modern homes are, where the TV has replaced the family hearth as the center of the home. The biblical home is not just a place to chill out and be entertained it is a center for industry. A real home is set up so that the members work together in it.
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So where are the Botkins now? They are living in New Zealand! Geoff is a veteran filmmaker. You can find his new documentary movie, League of Grateful Sons, in Vision Forums catalog. (This is a great Memorial Day resource since it honors World War II veterans!) Vision Forum carries other resources Geoff and son Isaac about filmmaking for Gods glory. Vickie, who was once named Eagle Forums West Virginia Homemaker of the Year, nurtures their seven children (some of them young adults) and cares for their home at Seven Arrows Ranch. Anna Sofia and Elizabeth serve their family in whatever ways they can and have a web site, http://www.visionarydaughters.org, with many goodies like articles, blogs and interviews. They are also award winning harp players who helped compose the music for League of Grateful Sons.
You can order So Much More from Vision Forum (http://www.visionforum.com), Christian Book Distributors (http://www.christianbook.com) or other mail order suppliers.
When I mentioned to yall a while back that I would be reviewing this book, I received the following from Suzanne New, a longtime Hope Chest reader. You might recognize her family name since her own home schooled son, Michael, hit the news 10 years ago for patriotically refusing to wear a UN uniform on the grounds that it would violate national sovereignty. He is still appealing the Army court martial on solid legal grounds, not just personal conviction. Suzanne said that Geoff Botkin made a video about this a while back. From looking at their web site (http://www.mikenew.com), I would guess this is the one called Good Conduct: The Michael New Story. Anyway, here is what Suzanne has to say about So Much More.
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We, as a family, are blessed to be personal friends with the Botkin family and we can highly attest to their godly character. We bought a case of the book, So Much More, because we were so pleased with it and I want to tell you what one of the girls who read it said. "So Much More reinforced things I already knew and it taught me things that I didn't understand in the Bible--things I had wondered about, but didn't have a grasp on. There were some issues that they addressed in the book that I think I understood with my head, but that hadn't made it into heart-understanding. The Botkin girls helped me to get it from head to heart. Also, as I read, I disagreed with a certain statement made (the one about most Christian girls having quite a bit of feminism in them because of the society in which we are growing up). However, when I started examining my heart, I found that, in all honesty, they were right. I am loaning my book to any of my friends who will read it and it is getting passed around quite a lot." --KTT, Texas girl
I know that KTT (she's my granddaughter's best friend) has read out of the book to her dad and to her mom, has made some heart changes because of the book and is continuing to make heart changes. And she already was a girl whose heart is fully the Lord's. She is a precious girl and I am thrilled that she and our granddaughter can be friends.
Blessings, Suzanne
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And now, heres another review of So Much More from a teenager whom Ive personally known for four years. Brittany Graham is a 10th grader and the oldest of seven children. Shes also a huge help to her family, and a faithful servant in our church. Her mom, Mary Lou, is the author of Expecting Joy, a book of devotions for pregnant ladies. Her dad, Rich, was our home group leader for the first few years we were at Metro Life (http://www.metrolife.org). Brittany says:
What in the world is this? I wondered as I picked up the dreary looking book lying on our table. There was an old-fashioned girl on the cover accompanying the title, So Much More. Ugh, I thought when I saw the 352 pages. A couple of days later though, out of sheer boredom, I happened to pick it up and scan through it. Wow, it looked really good. I guess it wouldnt hurt to read it. So I did. And I can say with full confidence that it was the best book I have ever read about biblical femininity. Actually, one of my favorite books ever on any topic.
So Much More was written by two teenage sisters in New Zealand. I was a bit hesitant when I saw how young they were. However, their maturity blew me away. The authors, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin have built their book on the remarkable influence of visionary daughters on the kingdom of God. It is a call for us as young ladies to embrace the high call on our lives.
This book applies to all single girls in every walk of life. The writers challenge girls to walk away from the feminist movement and embrace Gods design for women. They reveal feminist thinking in the world and in the church by exposing their lies. One of the ways this book challenged me in regards to my perspective on college. In the chapter about higher education the authors write, Todays college experience can lead young women away from real knowledge and blessing and into estrangement from both their heavenly fathers and their earthly fathers. I was shocked to discover that there were such strong arguments against college. I was glad though, because they back it all up with scripture and facts.
The book is in a question and answer format and focuses on the father-daughter relationship. The girls say, If you are not willing to give your heart to your father, then you dont have the heart for this book. These girls are blunt about the gospel and do not sugarcoat anything. Their heart is for fathers and daughters to better their relationships. When families are fulfilling Gods mandate they can change the world.
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In closing, let me just say that these two young ladies have written a very convicting book. This is meaty stuff to chew, and many folks wont be ready for that yet. However, I think a young Christian woman would do well to consider and act on the Botkin sisters advice. Ideally, parents should read this when their children are young, so they can be working on it all along, especially in keeping their childrens hearts and cultivating an attitude of respect and cooperation. I saw so many areas where I need to improve the way I raise my children, relate to my husband and care for my home. Whether I agree with all of their conclusions or not, they have given me plenty to think about, and plenty to repent about. For that, I am thankful.
The League of Grateful Sons DVD by Geoff Botkin
http://www.visionforum.com/search/productdetail.aspx?search=botkin&productid=67880
Doug Phillips photo blog about the making of The League of Grateful Sons
http://www.visionforum.com/hottopics/blogs/dwp/?archive=/2005_02_01_index.htm#110899704500015244
Outside Hollywood: The Young Christians Guide to Vocational Filmmaking by Isaac Botkin (awaiting publishing by Vision Forum)
http://www.visionforum.com/search/productdetail.aspx?search=botkin&productid=44858
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Jennie B. and the Pilot Audio Message by Mrs. Jennie Chancey
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When we ordered So Much More from Vision Forum, we also decided to get a few audio CDs for encouragement along the same lines. (I bought a couple of CDs by Susan Bradrick, and I liked them. I just dont have the time and space to review them right now.) I was especially impressed with Jennie B. and the Pilot, a message by Mrs. Jennie Chancey, who is quoted at length in So Much More. I had read an article by her in Homeschooling Today about how she, at the insistence of her godly parents, went off to a Christian college and came back a feminist. The Lord drew her to repentance, and now she encourages other ladies to seek Gods way for womanhood. The CD is an encouraging testimony of her spiritual journey into motherhood and her relationship with her own father. Ill let Suzanne New tell you more:
Virginia, we've also listened several times to Jennie B and the Pilot and have enjoyed it greatly and benefitted by it. I am not a good writer, or stringer-together-of-words, so I can't really write a review, but I want you to know that it is a story well-told, strongly Scripturally-based, and a real sharing of the heart by Jennie B Chancey. One thing I especially appreciated was this: As she talks, she tells how her father insisted that she go to college, and the story brings out how he brushed aside the fleece that seemed to indicate that she should not go. She talks about how she came out a strong feminist after her parents pouring godly womanhood into her for 18 years. She says something like "they poured themselves into me for 18 years and it took the college just 4 years to undo it." And this is a Christian college -- although one wonders how they go by that name. (A professor at Baylor near here in Waco, Texas told one time that his chief joy is to ruin the faith of Christian kids who come there to school. A Baptist school! But I digress.) Anyway, Jennie B says that near the end of his life, her daddy asked her forgiveness for sending her away when she had begged them to let her stay at home. So that, and other things she tells, shows you the human failings in the family, and the redeeming grace of God!
I continually find fresh inspiration at Mrs. Chanceys web site, http://www.LadiesAgainstFeminism.com. You will find a wealth of articles and links.
Temples of the Lord: This article, written by home schooled teen Elisabeth Doornink, is a great encouragement to the young ladies!
http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/artman/publish/article_1489.shtml
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Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacey McDonald
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My friend Debbie Klinect, on my recommendation, ordered So Much More, but she also ordered another gem of a book at the same time. I had seen Raising Maidens of Virtue advertised in various places, but had an attitude about it, too. I thought it would be way too old-fashioned for me. Its not. Its a beautifully written book that is mindful of both past and present. Stacey McDonald, co-publisher with her husband James of Homeschooling Today and Family Reformation magazines, is well-qualified to write such a book. Shes the mother of ten, mostly daughters. (Hey, I sure can relate to that!) Raising Maidens of Virtue is a gentle, winsome and practical book of over 200 pages which addresses many of the same issues as So Much More. It is most suitable for mothers and daughters to read and chat about together. Mrs. McDonald has helpfully included many discussion questions, project ideas, Scripture lists, and prayers. Now Ive got to get my own copy!
Here is an excerpt from the introduction.
Although your daughter has always needed Gods Word, her training in a specific area of Gods truth (Titus 2:4-5) has now become imperative. This beautiful creature, this lovely young girl who radiates the very essence of purity and hope, now depends on you to help illuminate her path to godly womanhood. Humbling? Challenging? Most assuredly. As our young maidens journey through life, they will meet many different people and hear a myriad of strange doctrines and teachings. Our daughters must know what they believe and why they believe it, or they will find themselves tossed to and fro with every new philosophy that comes along (Ephesians 4:14). They must learn to search the Scriptures, under the protection and guidance of their God-given authorities, and discover for themselves the beautiful picture of womanhood presented in Gods word. Through stories, allegories, conversational teachings, and illustrations, Raising Maidens of Virtue covers topics such a guarding the tongue, jealousy, idleness, sibling relationships, honoring parents, contentment, modesty, femininity, purity, cleanliness, deportment, trust, and biblical beauty.
The McDonalds also own Books on the Path, which publishes Raising Maidens of Virtue, but also sells many other great resources.
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A Bit of Balance from Mardy Freeman
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[Virginias note: Mardy Freeman is a veteran home school mom in north Florida, and the author of two books on child training. I always appreciate her insight, which, by the way, helped shape these past few issues on raising daughters. You can subscribe to Mardys newsletter, A Mary Heart, by visiting her web site: http://www.thefreemans.org/amaryheart or by sending any message to [email protected]]
As you know, we have six sons, ages 24 to 10, and one daughter age 19. So, we've got a lot of practice in the son-department, but only one daughter to learn with.
One thing that I believe the Lord impressed on my heart as our daughter approached her teen years was to treat her the same way "in the Lord" as we had the boys (since that "process" seemed to be working well), and that was to help her to learn to hear the Lord's voice on her own, rather than have us continually tell her what to do. We sort of begin to nudge our teens and preteens gently into their own personal relationship with Jesus by asking them to begin praying about certain decisions and events, whether they believe the Lord is prompting them to participate or decline. This sounds like what you do with Mary. Our teens then get back with us on what they think they are "hearing" (sensing in their spirit), and we listen and, amazingly, they usually are on target. Sometimes, twice I can remember right now, they have heard correctly on things that I would never have counseled them to do. But, it was of God. That verse, MY sheep hear MY voice, has been very helpful in guiding us to help them, our daughter as well as our sons, to transfer their allegiance to God, and not keep it unnaturally with us (love God MORE than father, mother, son or daughter, etc).
All that said, our daughter really did begin hearing from the Lord about her future, and when she was about 13, she thought she was being called to get an RN degree. RN? We have no medical people in our family, but I thought it would be great for her. Then around 14-ish, she realized she hated biology and thought she had "missed" it. We said, "Okay. Sometimes we miss it. Just tell that to the Lord, and explain to Him what you're telling us. That you think you may have misheard Him, and you'd like to begin seeking Him about it again." Again, she came back and said, "RN." That was easy. Until the next year when she realized she had a fear of needles, and thought, "WHAT AM I THINKING??!! I can't do this!" We counseled her to just tell that to the Lord in prayer, and we would be praying for her and with her, too. But, that we believed as she truly sought Him, He would make her path clear. She did earnestly seek Him again, and again the strong sense that she was to get an RN degree.
When I asked her where she saw herself in her late twenties, she said, "Married and probably homeschooling my children." But, in the meantime, while she was yet single, she did sense that there were things she was supposed to do. We realized that was what the Apostle Paul was saying when he said that a married person is "bound" to their spouse to please that person, but a single person was "free" in the Lord to be single-minded to please the Lord. So, we didn't have a problem with her getting a degree while she was single, as long as she believed it was God's will for her life.
Kate is now in the crunch of finals week finishing her first year of a two-year R.N. program at our community college while living at home. The program is intense, but also spiritually-challenging, as at least one of her teachers is lesbian, most are feminists, and some of the curriculum itself quite humanistic and "spiritual" (but not Christian). Last year, before she began classes, she came to us and told us she believed the Lord was calling her to attend a two-week conference called Summit (http://www.summit.org). I had barely heard of Summit then, just knew it was on the radar as a positive thing with other homeschooling families. But, our teens had been doing well, walking with the Lord, loving each other, and beginning to be lights in the community so I never checked into it (if it ain't broken, don't fix it!). But, here our daughter felt "called" to go to it, rather than to a mission trip to Honduras that she had previously considered for that summer. I wasn't sure, but she seemed sure. But, God knew what she would be facing in those classes, even though we didn't, and He prompted her to go. It turned out to be exactly what she needed to help her face the trials and challenges she has faced on campus.
Another parent asked her last year why on earth her parents would let their only daughter out onto the "front lines" in this God-forsaken, immoral society. They see her as putting herself out there as a target, like a soldier, where men should be. This mom felt that daughters should be kept in the home until marriage. Kate thought for a moment and wisely answered (I'm paraphrasing here), "Because the Lord has called me there, and my parents released me to obey Him." Yikes I'm glad she can hear the Lord, because MY answer wouldn't have been so good. ? If Kate had told us she felt she wasn't supposed to go to college, we would have supported her in every way we could. We see ourselves as guidance counselors, doing whatever we can to help them to do what they believe God is calling them to do, in the most effective way they can.
We write quite a bit about this topic of teens and also about daughters, helping them to get their direction from the Lord (rather than be dependent on us for it or just go out into the world unprepared) in our second book, Children of Character II, but I'm not writing because I want to promote it on your list. I'm just telling you personally that this topic is dear to our hearts enough to have written about it, and that I think you had some very good, very balanced points in the midst of extreme views on both sides we are seeing in the body of Christ right now.
Much love, Mardy
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Well, thats it for this month! I want to leave you with one last thought. This generation of young people whom we are raising needs our fervent intercessory prayer NOW more than ever. They are facing a world that is so different from Biblical standards. We cant be satisfied with second best, with merely producing children who arent on drugs or messing around before marriage. No, we need to pray, pray, pray and pray some more for a generation who will make a significant cultural impact for Jesus Christ into eternity. Radical times require radical faith and radical action. Whatever form that takes in your family, be faithful to it! If you drop the baton in this great relay race of Kingdom-on-Earth-as-it-is-in-Heaven then pick it back up and run some more!
Id love to hear what you think. You can e-mail me at [email protected]
Blessings,
Virginia Knowles
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