#9-6: Pilgrimage and Jubilee
Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Hope Chest
with Virginia Knowles
July 19, 2006
#9-6: Pilgrimage and Jubilee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Hope Chest friends,
July is a very special month for me, because its when I met the two greatest loves of my life the Lord Jesus around July 12, 1976, and my husband Thad on July 20, 1984. By divine coincidence, this issue is about our love relationships with our heavenly bridegroom and our earthly ones. Please dont stop reading this if your marriage is in crisis or even broken to pieces, because there is something special for you. Linda Rooks has blessed us with some encouragement from her new book Broken Heart on Hold. I trust that the timing and emphasis on these themes will be a blessing to some of our readers. But first, the contact information that I sometimes forget to include in my newsletter!
~*~*~*~
Hope Chest Contact Information
Private e-mail: [email protected] (for my eyes only)
Web site: http://www.TheHopeChest.net
Resource orders: http://www.TheHopeChest.net/Resources.html
The Real Life Home School Mom, Common Sense Excellence: Faith-Filled Home Education for Preschool to 5th Grade,
and The Learners Journal lesson planner and resource log.
Subscription address: [email protected]
Unsubscription address: [email protected]
(To change your address, simply unsubscribe the old one, and subscribe the new one.)
Read Hope Chest archives at https://welovegod.org/groups/hopechest
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PILGRIMAGE AND JUBILEE
By Virginia Knowles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Im on a pilgrimage, a journey deep into the heart. Some might call it a Midlife Crisis, but I like to call it a Midlife Reckoning a sober look at who I am and where I am going in life. If I had known at the beginning what it would take me through, I might not have had the courage to take the first step. As a newlywed, I memorized Psalm 84, and learned that the Valley of Baca represented a place of tears. How fitting it is for me to recall these verses as I meditate on the brokenness God has called me through this summer:
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength until each appears before God in Zion.
My own bittersweet pilgrimage started in April, when I attended a ladies workshop on the topic of pride. I thought I was just going to accompany my teenage daughters; of course, they needed to hear it. Oh my! How is that for pride? God had a much bigger purpose for me. Listening to the solid Biblical teaching convicted me, but that was just the start. One of the books I read, the classic Humility by Andrew Murray, showed me how we must actively pursue true humility as the only proper relationship between humans and their Creator. Foundationally, it is not whether or not we are being arrogant in front of others (though this matters, too) but how we see ourselves before God and how we respond to him. Murray says:
I am sure there are many Christians who will confess that their own experience has been very much like my own in this, that we had long known the Lord without realizing that meekness and lowliness of heart are to be the distinguishing features of the disciple as they were of the Master. And further, that this humility is not a thing that will come of itself, but that it must be made the object of special desire and prayer and faith and practice. As we study the word, we shall see what very distinct and oft-repeated instructions Jesus gave His disciples on this point, and how slow they were in understanding Him. Let us, at the very commencement of our meditations, admit that there is nothing so natural to man, nothing so insidious and hidden from our sight, as pride. Let us feel that nothing but a very determined and persevering waiting on God and Christ will discover how lacking we are in the grace of humility, and how impotent to obtain what we seek. Let us study the character of Christ until our souls are filled with the love and admiration of his lowliness. And let us believe that, when we are broken down under a sense of our pride, and our impotence to cast it out, Jesus Christ Himself will come in to impart this grace too, as a part of His wondrous life within us. Andrew Murray, 19th century South African preacher, from Humility. For more information on this great saint, read this article: http://www.intouch.org/myintouch/mighty/portraits/andrew_murray_213652.html
After starting to read Andrew Murrays book, I decided to embark on a serious Scripture study about humility. I spent hours and hours on this over a period of weeks. It amazed me how vigorously the Bible commands us to humble ourselves before God and warns of us how pride is an abominable barrier between us and him. I became so convicted of the evidences of spiritual pride in my heart, that I begged God to do whatever it would take to remove all remnants of this and my many other sins. I did not know then where this would lead me over the summer. It was very painful emotionally, especially when he called me to face up to unhealthy thought and behavior patterns which took root in my younger years. Almost all of them no matter what outward form they took -- were long waving tentacles connected to the poisonous jellyfish of pride. I believe he allowed me to see my sin more clearly so I could seek fresh mercy from him. I just could not get past it by myself, so I cried out to him for help. When I didnt know what words to say myself, I learned to appreciate the gift of praying in the Holy Spirit, and knowing that Jesus himself is interceding for me at the right hand of his Father.
During this time of utter brokenness before God, he faithfully brought forth myriad fountains of grace in my life:
© My husband Thad extended amazing mercy to me during my most difficult moments. He puts up with so much, and still comes back for more. I am blessed beyond measure with his love.
© Recalling thirty years worth of Scripture study and memorization, which spoke TRUTH into my heart when I otherwise couldnt think straight.
© Prayer realizing that this was SPIRITUAL WARFARE. One time when I forgot this, my little Naomi walked into the room with a paper-plate-and-pipe-cleaner shield of faith she had made in Sunday school. I got the message.
© Drinking in sermons and workshops at church, even listening to the CDs later. How did they know exactly what was in my heart?
© Singing (and weeping) to well-written worship music in fact, I think this must have been one of the key means of grace in my life. Music reaches deep into the heart. It is a common grace to the human race.
© Receiving wise counsel, comfort, and prayer from a few trusted friends. Oh, how we need to carry one anothers burdens and embolden each other to walk in victory!
© Spending a lot of time (and ink) writing in my journal, trying to put my insights into words. Often, I would copy into it Scripture verses, quotes, poems, and even long excerpts from books I was reading. When the authors penned their thoughts so long ago, did they have any clue that they would be speaking so powerfully and poignantly into future lives decades and even centuries later?
One book which stayed by my rocking chair (when it wasnt in my hands!) was The Valley of Vision, a collection of Puritan prayers edited by Arthur Bennett and published by the Banner of Truth Trust. Here is the end of a prayer called Heart Corruptions.
Help me in all my doings to put down sin and to humble pride. Save me from the love of the world and the pride of life, from everything that is natural to fallen man, and let Christs nature be seen in me day by day. Grant me grace to bear thy will without repining, and delight to be not only chiseled, squared, or fashioned, but separated from the old rock where I have been embedded so long, and lifted from the quarry to the upper air, where I may be built in Christ forever.
(Next month, Sovereign Grace Ministries, my very favorite source of Biblical, Christ-exalting, contemporary worship music, is releasing a CD based on The Valley of Vision book. It was written by folks like Bob Kauflin and Mark Altrogge, whose songs you might sing in your own churches. If you scroll down at this web site, you will find a place to sample the songs, look at the lyrics, download an entire free song, or order the book -- the beautiful leather bound one is worth the extra price, I assure you! http://www.sovereigngraceministries.com/music/projects/valleyofvision/)
Another constant companion during these months was the book Toward Jerusalem, a collection of poems by missionary Amy Carmichael. The way she lived in India totally intimidates me, but I cant count how many times I have jotted her poems in my journals when faced with a hard place in life. Her poem Wandering Thoughts became my prayer as I tried to focus on what God wanted to teach me.
Gather my thoughts, good Lord, they fitful roam,
Like children bent on foolish wandering,
Or vanity of fruitless wayfaring;
O call them home.
See them, they drift like the wind-scattered foam;
Like wild sea-birds, they hither, thither, fly,
And some sink low, and others soar too high.
O call them home.
My silence speaketh to Thee, but I roam
With my poor silly thoughts, I know not where;
That undistracted I may go to prayer
O call them home.
Very recently, God graciously broke through into my soul! Early one morning after a night of fitful sleep, I began to see a vision of my heart at two levels. The crevices of the deeper region were mostly packed in with decades of debris. On top of this hard crust, I had piled on the outer workings of my daily life: wife, home school mother of 10, homemaker, church member, writer, and other duties. I realized that even in my spiritual life of Scripture study and prayer (which HAVE been so very valuable), I often live in the oughts and not from true desire or spiritual passion. As I wrote these newer insights into my journal, the crust to the deeper places started to crack open. Visiting a friend later that day, I tried to put into words what I felt God was saying to me. Her mouth dropped open, and she ran to get a book she had just started reading. I flipped through the pages, and MY mouth dropped open. Everything I had just tried to say, everything I had just written in my own journal, I found on the pages of a book called The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge (http://www.SacredRomance.com).
The inner life, the story of our heart, is the life of the deep places within us, our passions and dreams, our fears and our deepest wounds. It is the unseen life, the mystery within what Buechner calls our shimmering self. It cannot be managed like a corporation. The heart does not respond to principles and programs; it seeks not efficiency, but passion. Art, poetry, beauty, mystery, ecstasy: These are what rouse the heart. Indeed, they are the language that must be spoken if one wishes to communicate with the heart. It is why Jesus so often taught and related to people by telling stories and asking questions. His desire was not just to engage their intellects but to capture their hearts.
Indeed, if we will listen a Sacred Romance calls to us through our heart every moment of our lives. It whispers to us on the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love. Weve heard it in our favorite music, sensed it at the birth of our first child, been drawn to it while watching the shimmer of a sunset on the ocean. The Romance is even present in times of great personal suffering: the illness of a child, the loss of a marriage, the death of a friend. Something calls to us through experiences like these and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure.
This longing is the most powerful part of any human personality. It fuels our search for meaning, for wholeness, for a sense of being truly alive. However we may describe this deep desire, it is the most important thing about us, our heart of hearts, the passion of our life. And the voice that calls to us in this place is none other than the voice of God.
Oh, this is true! I long for God to invade the deep parts of my heart, to wash away all of the debris with the healing flood of the Holy Spirit. I want to be filled instead with all that is lovely, noble, pure, admirable, and true. I want to be captivated by the glorious mystery of his surprising love for me. That is what he is doing for me and will continue to do as I confess my sins and repent before him. He will do it for you if you ask him crack through the crust of your heart.
And that brings us to Jubilee! According to the Old Testament, every 50 years the Jubilee brought liberty for the captives and a return to rightful inheritance. This month marks 30 years since the Lord mercifully saved me at a Hess family reunion in Pennsylvania. As I anticipated my spiritual birthday and prepared to attend this same reunion (a rare event for me), I asked God to give me a personal Jubilee 20 years early. He is answering this prayer by lavishing on me a spiritual liberty and legacy. I deeply desire to pass this liberty and legacy on to my own children. May God set them free from whatever sins I have already sowed into their souls. May he fill us all with the bounty he has prepared for us as we live and learn together as a family. May we each learn to love and worship him from the deepest places of our hearts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Broken Heart on Hold: Surviving Separation
Book by Linda Rooks, Review by Virginia Knowles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of months ago, I walked into the lobby at Metro Life Church on a Sunday morning, and spotted some old friends I hadnt seen in quite some time. I first met Linda Rooks and her husband Marv at Northland Community Church when I was single in the mid 1980s. Thats where I met my husband Thad, too! After we got married, we moved to Maryland, where Northlands former pastor, Roger Franks, had moved with his family. We attended the same church there for several years. Many years later, Thad and I returned to central Florida and Northland, so we saw Linda once in a while amidst the huge congregation. In my mind her name was always synonymous with Right-to-Life, since she was a local chapter president. Her concern and passion for the unborn was abundantly evident. But it was also during this time that Linda suffered one of the deepest pains a woman can bear her husband left her for three years. God, in his mercy, restored their marriage in 1998.
Lindas new book, Broken Heart on Hold: Surviving Separation, beautifully brings forth diamonds from those ashes. It is from the comfort that God lavished on her during this bittersweet time that she shares comfort with other hurting women. It is gently written, with short, readable chapters thoroughly based on Scripture. If you know a woman who is struggling in her marriage, this book would make an ideal gift for her. Linda mentioned that her publishers were initially hesitant about the topic of the book because they didnt think there would be much of a market for it. Oh, if only! Unfortunately, I know way too many Christian women in marital crisis. Ive already passed along my copy of this book to a hurting friend at church. Here is one of the chapters which speaks to my own heart about Gods great love for me:
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
--EPHESIANS 3:17-19
Twisting my wedding rings back and forth on my finger with my thumb, I stopped to look at them, the light dancing brilliantly over the many facets of the diamond. Id worn them for so long that they were almost like a part of my hand. My mind traveled back to that moment in timea fairy tale awaywhen my husband slipped the wedding ring on my finger, a symbol of our eternal love.
My heart grew sick and heavy. Eternal love? Till death do us part? Where were those promises now? How I had wanted a love that would last forever and bind us together through a lifetime. But it was just a myth. Love didnt last forever. At least it didnt for me.
As women, we ache for a love that will hold us forever, that will still be there when we reveal the hidden parts of ourselves; a love that will endure in good times or bad, for better or worse. When we get married, we expect that from our husbands.
I remember one time, early in our marriage, when we were hanging a heavy picture on the wall. In our ignorance we hung it on a nail. The picture and nail came crashing to the floor. It should have been pretty obvious that the nail would not be strong enough to hold the pictures weight, but we had never heard of toggle bolts. We thought nails could hold anything.
In the same way human love, however beautiful, is not strong enough to support the full weight of a persons need for love. Human love can provide an exquisite taste of closeness to another and the warm companionship of a special person at our side, but only Gods love can sustain us and carry us over the rough places that life throws in our path.
When we depend solely on our husbands love for happiness, security, or a feeling of self-worth, a time may come when the unintended pressure on the relationship causes deep fissures. It may even cause collapse. Humans are frail creatures. Sin clouds our eyes and sinks its tentacles down into our hearts. It warps our perspective and tarnishes the strength of our intentions. The frail human sin nature can contaminate even the most ideal human love.
In contrast, Gods loving arms long to hold us in safety and security even in our weakest moments. His arms are strong. They never tire. Our tears never wear him down. Our pleas do not go unnoticed. Our PMS doesnt unnerve him. When our hair is frizzy and our makeup has worn off, he doesnt care; he loves us anyway. When the pounds layer on our hips, he sees only the beauty that lies within. When the lines on our face deepen and gray streaks our hair, he smiles that we are much closer to our heavenly abode with him.
Your value does not depend on your husbands treatment or opinion of you. Your husband is a fallible human being carrying around a sinful nature. God is the one who gives you value. He also will give you a purpose, a hope, and a future. Do not look at yourself through your husbands eyes but through the eyes of God. You are precious to him. He loves you enough to let you think your own thoughts, feel your own feelings, have your own opinions, and be yourself. He loves you just the way you are. He created you with unique qualities, and he will never change his mind about you.
Gods love is unconditional. His Son died for you when you were in your most sinful state. His deep, sacrificial love stretches through time to bring you to himself. The God who created the universe has chosen you as his special child, and he loves you with an unfailing and everlasting love. If the powerful God of the universe is for us, who could be against us?
Dear God, I am overwhelmed at the depth of your love,
a love that never leaves and never gives up.
God let me lean into your love
and feel the strength of your everlasting arms.
When I am weak, sustain me.
When I am discouraged, hold me up.
~*~*~*~
Isnt that such good stuff? God used this chapter to help me see my sufficiency in him during my own pilgrimage this summer.
You can find Lindas book, which is published by Cook, in most Christian bookstores or on-line. Be sure to check out Lindas new web site: http://www.brokenheartonhold.com/ which is full of articles, Scriptures, statistics, and more. You can even read the first chapter of the book there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marriage Adrift?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While I am providentially on the topic of marriage in this issue, I feel compelled to make a few extra comments. Our church, Metro Life (http://www.metrolife.org), just hosted the biennial Xtreme conference for several hundred youth and many of their parents from around Florida, the Bahamas, and New Orleans. On Friday night, the ministry team called up to the front all of the young people who were growing up without dads. They prayed for healing of inner hurts, and that they would be able to overcome any hindrances to a full life. Our senior pastor, Danny Jones, who oversees all of the Sovereign Grace churches in this region, was visibly grieved about how many kids came up. He has a tender shepherds heart toward broken families. He passionately pled with all of the parents and youth to make a commitment to faithful lifelong marriage and not allow divorce to keep breaking up our families.
Do you think that your marriage is safe just because you are a Christian home school family? Guess again! All marriages take work. In some ways, home schooling makes us even more vulnerable to marriage drift, even if there is no divorce or blatant sin. There are subtle forces which can drive a destructive wedge into a marriage, such as selfishness, pride, apathy, disrespect, fear, and impure thinking. Yes, it does matter what we think not just what our outward actions are. God looks at the heart! We reap what we sow. Unhealthy attitudes will hinder our marriages from the full, satisfying potential that God intended. Please do not allow anything to undermine the intimacy of your marriage or the wholesomeness of your parenting. By Gods grace, do all that you can to preserve the sanctuary of your home. I write this with much compassion and prayer, not condemnation. I want to offer you hope: We serve a gracious God, who can reconcile, renew, restore, and revive. His kindness draws us to repentance.
For a short Bible study to help you honor your marriage covenant, here are a few references: Proverbs 31:10-12; Malachi 2:13-16; Matthew 5:27-32; 1 Corinthians 7:1-16; Ephesians 5:22-33; Titus 2:3-5; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Peter 3:1-9.
If you need extra help working out issues in your home, whether it is in marriage or parenting, I recommend the book Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande. You will find many helpful articles on marriage at his http://www.peacemaker.net. I also wrote a chapter on Cherishing Your Marriage and another on Building the Family Home in my book The Real Life Home School Mom.
Dont be afraid to talk to your pastor about your marriage issues, either. The help you receive could far outweigh any embarrassment you might feel. I know from experience that our pastors greatly respect those who are willing to admit that they have a problem. They would much rather help couples sort things out early on rather than pick up the shattered pieces later. Your marriage is worth it!
There are positive things you can do to build your marriage. Take the time to talk, pray, touch, laugh, and play. Dont get so busy with daily life that you forget the love and romance you had at the start. Kiss in the kitchen. Go on date nights, even if its just a walk around the neighborhood or a dessert in the bedroom after the kids are asleep. Look for ways to praise and encourage. Give little gifts just because. Learn to confess and to forgive. Overlook petty offenses entirely. If you need to address a problem, and cant seem to do it face to face, write a grace-filled letter, rewrite it to get it just right, and give it to your spouse. And when it just seems way too hard, take it to the Lords Throne Room to find all the grace and mercy you need. I pray that he will do a miracle in your life!
~*~*~*~
I trust that this issue has been helpful to you. You are welcome to pass it along to anyone who might benefit from it. This particular issue is just as relevant to families who are not home schooling as to those who are.
A few last notes:
If you would like to bless your teens with some solid Biblical teaching, check out the free Xtreme conference MP3 messages on-line at http://www.xtreme-online.org/messages.html
Colleen Braden sent me a link to http://www.familyfacts.org which gives abundant statistics citing the importance of preserving the traditional family.
As a reminder, I am now taking orders for the Learner's Journal lesson planner and resource log, as well as my other books. If you can't find the e-mail I sent about it a few days ago, let me know or click here:
http://www.TheHopeChest.net/Resources.html I hope to have all of the orders in by next Wednesday (July 26) so I can have them printed and shipped out at the beginning of August.
If you would like to send me a note or a prayer request, you can do so privately at [email protected].
You are loved with an Everlasting Love!
In His Sovereign Grace,
Virginia Knowles
-- To subscribe, send ANY message to: [email protected] To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: [email protected] Visit my web site at www://thehopechest.net