#9-8: Family Ministry -- Part 2
Posted by: hopechestnews <hopechestnews@...>
The Hope Chest Home School News
with Virginia Knowles
September 9, 2006
#9-8: Family Ministry
Part 2
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This is the second half of this issue. The full contact information is in the first half, but you can subscribe by sending any message to [email protected] or you can contact Virginia at [email protected].
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Children of Character II
Book by Bill and Mardy Freeman
Review by Virginia Knowles
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Mardy Freeman, a mother of seven and veteran home schooler who lives near Gainesville, Florida, has been such a huge blessing to me for the past umpteen years. She has that rare combination of uproarious humor and deep insight that I treasure. In the times I've corresponded with her personally, I have appreciated her grace and candor. She is very real, and this lets her get to the heart of the issue instead of dancing around on the surface. I should also note that some of Mardy's "children" are actually adults; her oldest son Jon is a law school graduate and got married last October. Several of the Freemans went to Ecuador on a mission trip last summer, too. This is a lady who has been around the block and back again.
Long before I met Mardy, I used to laugh and sigh with understanding when I read her articles in the Florida Parent Educators Association Almanac. They have been active in the North Central Florida home school community: Bill was an FPEA district director for many years and Mardy leads a local home school support group which focuses on character issues.
I've been getting her "A Mary Heart" e-mail newsletter for years, and thoroughly enjoyed reading her first book, Children of Character, which I reviewed quite some time ago. And now she's done it again! Volume 2, written with her husband Bill, frankly explores the heart issues of child rearing, and even pokes around a bit at some of the foibles of the home school community. I don't always agree with Mardy's conclusions, but her perspective makes me examine more carefully about why I think the way I do.
In this new book, Mardy and Bill cover the topics of protecting young children, recognizing the idols and influences affecting our own hearts, winning our children's hearts, helping them to hear from God for themselves , and evaluating whether our standards are Biblical or manmade. They conclude with a word from Mardy for the wives and a word from Bill for the husbands.
Here is a short excerpt:
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For years our family attended seminars, read books and when to workshops in which godly children and teens (good fruit) were presented. For a mom like myself, with no training (and no clue) on how to raise children, many things were new. Numerous times I fell into the dangerous trap of comparison when I saw how relatively low our own standards were compared to new higher standards. God's good intention in this comparison was for me to look to Him and allow Him to work on my own heart in any area in which he was bringing conviction. And sometimes I did. The Lord would then begin working on areas that were the source of the wrong standard in the first place.
Yet, other times I tried to simply duplicate someone else's standard, without a heart change. Adopting new standards looked easier than the repentance and heart surgery the Lord usually required. And besides, I would reason, look at the godly results (fruits) these families reap in their children when they raise their standards (a wrong conclusion). But, those standards looked so attractive that I would think, "We should stop doing this, start doing that, dress like this, talk like that…"
This subtle turning away from a relationship and toward a standard revealed that I had been desiring the fruit (godly children) more than the fruit-giver, Christ. This turned out to be an idol for me, and pushed me into legalism (trying to produce righteousness – godly fruit – by keeping standards and rules). This ended up producing death in the areas I tried to apply them. And the harder I pushed, the more we experienced dead-ends such as the husband-dragging-feet-while-children-plummet-to-new-lows syndrome, which in turn triggered the well-known mama-ain't-happy disorder.
When the fruit we seek to bear becomes more important to us than the pruning the Father wants to take us through (which often results in good fruit later, but at the time seems grievous), we have allowed the fruit itself to become an idol. We then find standards and rules that will keep our idol in place, rather than allowing those standards to become a question that we take back to our Heavenly Father. (Lord, what do You want me to learn in this teaching/testimony/message/friend's life?).
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If you visit the Freeman's web site, http://www.thefreemans.org, you can order their books, sign up for Mardy's free e-mail newsletter, and find loads of ideas for family ministry and civic involvement.
Another note from Virginia: I think this excerpt from the Freeman's book brings up an important point about family ministry. I love to write, speak to groups (occasionally), and offer personal encouragement to others. By God's grace, despite my many inadequacies as a home school mom, I know I have a measure of influence. What I don't want to say is, "Look at me. Do it just like me." That would be dangerous. I blow it too much. And I'm not you. And I'm not God. What I DO want to say is, "Look to Jesus and follow Him. He will lead and guide you in the right path, whatever that is for YOUR family." For that, we all need to learn to listen to HIM, sometimes through others, but mostly, like the noble Bereans of Acts 17:11, through Scripture study and prayer. On the flip side, I am keenly aware that people are watching me and my family, whether I like it or not. There are so many times when I am tempted to compromise my convictions. What helps me to repent more quickly is the knowledge that if I really mess this stuff up, I would take a whole bunch of people down with me – not only my own children, but those who are looking to me as an example. That is extremely sobering to me. Trust me when I say that I feel the heat of spiritual warfare, and I need your prayers.
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Introducing "The Gift of Family Writing"
by Jill Novak
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Every family has at least one member who can remember─as if it were yesterday─events that happened in the family when he or she were a child. My husband, Robert (the only boy among three sisters) is the storyteller in his family. His stories are about the family farm and fishing trips they took in Canada. Our children were raised on these stories and value them as part of their heritage. When our family moved to a farm in 1999, new farm stories began to take shape. I recorded them in a journal, knowing we would forget our experiences if I didn't write them down. My husband's love of storytelling had rubbed off on me.
Gradually I was drawn to read books about recording your life stories and writing from your heart. Written for adults, they focused on memoirs or life stories for your children and grandchildren. As I read, a question arose in my mind: Why aren't we recording our children's life stories as they happen? We're with them all the time. What wouldn't any of us give to be able to read—in our own words—the accounts of people, places, or things that mattered to us when we were young? How much easier it would be for our children to write their life stories now, while they're still fresh on their minds!
I began to really listen to my children and was amazed to hear how many words they had to describe their experiences and how naturally they expressed their feelings, thoughts, and perceptions. The younger ones only needed me to write their stories down. A bond formed that wasn't there before. I was hearing the hearts of my children through the words of their experience.
Because writing is a gift from God, the methods you use to teach it must minister to the hearts of your children. The goal of this kind of writing is that your children will love to write and love to give their writing away. Psalm 45:1 declares, "My heart overflows with a good theme; I address my verses to the King; My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer." How do we plant the seeds that will enable our children to have the pen of a ready writer? By valuing, modeling, and recording of our family's life stories together.
The Gift of Family Writing is the culmination of eight years of discovery─the journey of how our family began writing together and the joy we've experienced along the way. It's bursting with examples to help you and your family capture your life stories as they happen; and it's packed with practical tools and ideas that will inspire your children (even the most reluctant ones) to value their personal experiences and write about them creatively. If you feel that writing isn't your strong point, you'll gain confidence from this method, and so will your children.
Family Writing is more than an activity, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of seeing and thinking, a way of appreciating the little things in life, a way of savoring everyday moments and valuing the individuality of family members. It's a way of connecting hearts on paper and nurturing family relationships.
I invite you to join me in this journey of remembrance. It may be one of the most important decisions you make in your lifetime. Family writing is a gift that keeps on giving in ways that are unique to your family alone. Remembering the past awakens a spirit of gratitude, drawing you and your children closer.
It is my prayer that this book will profoundly touch your family, that you will treasure your life experiences, and discover how the written accounts of them will bless generations to come.
Jill and Robert Novak have been married for 27 years. They have been blessed with five children: Claire (20), Eric (15), Elizabeth (11), Anna (7), and Nicholas (who is with the Lord). Together their family has published The Girlhood Home Companion, The Pebbly Brook Farm Journal, Becoming God's Naturalist, and The Gift of Family Writing. Visit their website at http://www.giftoffamilywriting.com or Jill's blog at http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/jillnovak
[Virginia's note: Be sure to sign up for Jill's free e-mail newsletter at her web site. If you request the most recent issue, she will send it to you. I have been so blessed reading The Gift of Family Writing. Inspired by her inspiration and practical tips, I went right out and bought journals for four of my younger children, and they have had a blast finding things to write and copy in them. They don't even know they are "doing school." Shh! Don't tell them! They are having too much fun! On a more serious and personal note, as I shared with Jill recently, my life has been vitally enriched by keeping a private journal of my own. It is not intended to family reading – it's just for me! – but it is a lasting testimony of God's work of pruning and renewal in my heart. I've kept a journal sporadically since my teen years, but I don't know how I could go even a couple of days without one now!]
by Renee Nix
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We could not bear the thought of what God set out to do through a dear friend four years ago, even though we were witnesses to how God used him on Church Street, downtown Orlando for years. We go back 16 years with our friendship and Bible studies with this dear person and his family. Our words were pretty feisty as we sat at Boston's Fish House and he shared his vision for reaching at risk children in this beautiful city with the message of the cross. Quite frankly, we balked and gave him every reason he needed to not spread himself too thin, thinking he needed to spend more time with his family. He continued to share that he saw it as a family ministry for many families to take turns doing. We wished him well, but refused to give up our Saturday mornings or get involved or attached for some time. It was clear that we had grass to mow, a house to clean, and all the other things we were accustomed to doing on Saturdays.
Time went by, the vision was being realized. God brought the families to volunteer and singles too. We verbally promoted it among the college kids we were teaching at the time, gave financially and participated at Christmas by taking a child's list, delivering presents, and hosting a coffee stand for the parents.
God was blessing the vision he had given to our friend. It was a prayer drenched ministry. We now see it as a battle of obedience on our part. It is not a pleasant place to be, it is characterized by anger, discontentment, tiredness, frustration, etc... Slowly, but surely God was drawing us closer to Him and to Orlando Children's Church. In the meantime, some of the kids began showing up in AWANA. They were hungering for God, for relationships, for family. We looked deep into their eyes as they worked on memorizing scripture and we were drawn to make a bigger difference. You see, they saw what they were doing on Saturday mornings as "church" and wanted to know why we weren't coming. I was dramatically challenged to give up one of the idols in my heart....my Saturday mornings. It was like a sledge hammer hitting me. So, we were going to give up 1 Saturday a month to do our part. We showed up to volunteer for what had become Orlando Children's Church and we have never been the same since.
Now, teaching and learning the BIBLE with 15-26, 5th grade, Jesus starved girls for an hour every Saturday morning (give or take a few) is a privilege. We are a part of sharing Christ and the message of the cross with those who having nothing else and are looking for answers through Him and His Word. We cannot explain the impact when they eagerly all stand to read the scriptures each week... some with broken English, some with broken hearts, most with dirty, ill fitting clothes, unkempt teeth and hair. We teach the Bible, with New Tribes curriculum called Firm Foundations. It is a thorough, solid, deep study and we use it now with our own children.
Orlando Children's Church is a non-profit volunteer organization with liability insurance, a board of directors, risk management training, food servers, craft helpers, game equipment, data entry people, CDL bus drivers, volunteer teachers, prayer warriors, etc... They have just moved to a new location: First Baptist Church of Maitland. There are on average of 300 kids that come regularly. There is a mom's Bible study and graded classes. God has provided 7 buses. The guy who paints the Lynx buses also paints our buses as his gift to the ministry. A local McDonald's provides free breakfast. There are volunteers from many of the churches in the surrounding area. One 5th grade Sunday School class from a church in Sanford worked to donate 400 pairs of new shoes. They distributed over 300 new backpacks with school supplies before school began. They have Christmas angel trees in December that allow us to meet the physical needs of the children and they give a complete holiday meal to the needy families after a cross centered, gospel message worship service.
If you are interested in getting involved, you can attend a monthly training session led by one of the New Tribes missionaries who has taught at home and abroad for years. The next training session is 8:00am, September 16. E-mail Renee for an application, to register for training and/or for more information: [email protected]
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Renee Nix says she is a Christian today because of a bus ministry. Some 33 years ago, there were a faithful few who took a Saturday morning to visit the little children in the trailer park and take them to church on Sunday, so they could know they needed a Savior. Her mom was not on drugs and did not sell her body, but had to work 7 days a week to provide the necessities of life (food, shelter, clothing and books!) for 3 children without assistance. When they were able to "move up" in life to a neighborhood, out of a trailer park, God provided a lady who shared Bible lessons, lemonade & peanut butter cookies in the afternoon once a week in her garage, while Renee's mother continued to work long hours to provide.
I (Virginia) have the privilege of knowing Renee personally, and so appreciate her sweet spirit and heart for ministry not only in Orlando Children's Church, but also in a small local support group which she helps lead.
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Project Noah to the Rescue!
By Karen Baron
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Dear Virginia,
On the subject of hurricanes, or any devastating situations, there is a source that you might want to share with your readers. When Katrina devastated so many, a homeschool mom acquaintance told me about "Project Noah". We immediately went to work putting together boxes of homeschool curriculum, reading books, supplies, etc. and sent 6 big boxes to Project Noah. My understanding is that they are there to minister to any family who has a need for any reason. Please spread the word, if you can, and feel free to let me know if you hear any stories of how people were blessed by this organization. Be sure to send them to http://www.projectnoah.org/ because there is another Project Noah organization at the .com website, but that one is not the one I am referring to. I sincerely hope that this will help people in need, as a result of God using your prompt to remind me.
Thank you,
Karen
Virginia's note: If you go to the web site, you can read the whole touching story of how Project Noah got started. Here is a short introductory blurb from the "About Us" page:
Who we are and how we started...
Starting as a lifeboat for the many homeschoolers and other families hurt by Tropical Storm Allison in June of 2001, Project Noah soon became a loving facet of the homeschool community with the mission to help homeschool families in crisis.
Project Noah is set up to help families in financial crises (e.g. death of a spouse, divorce, loss of income, natural disasters, severe family illness, etc.), Project Noah is available to replace curriculum to the homeschooling family during their hour of need.
Lisa Guidry is the Founder and Director of Project Noah. Her love for people, her passion for homeschooling and her faith in God are what makes Project Noah work. Lisa has been married to Ron for 18 years and they have 10 children - 6 girls and 4 boys (ages 4 years to 25 years). They have been homeschooling for almost 18 years. Lisa has currently acquired 3 high school diplomas and is working on 8 more. She is also the founder and director of Rocking Chair Ministries, which sends out a weekly e-devotional entitled "From My heart to Yours". They quietly reside in southeast Texas with 8 of their children, 2 dogs, 1 cat and 4 fish.
Now THAT is what I call family to family ministry in the home school community!
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Cooking Up a Little Ministry
By Katrina Steele
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As my children are still fairly young, a lot of what we do is small in scope and involvement, but we are working now to lay the groundwork for future service and ministry to others. One of the easy things we do right now is make "a little extra" when we do bread or cookies or such things... that way we can take some to our elderly neighbors or we have some on hand "just in case" (it's great to be able to send a loaf of coconut banana bread home with that friend who "just stopped by for a minute"). We'll can extra applesauce this season, too, for the same reason. The children learn that serving blesses both the giver and the receiver, and they are so excited to get thank you notes from those we share with. Along the same lines, I've just been reading two different books on freezer meals... both have challenged me to make extra meals to have on hand for those opportunities that may arise where someone could really use a home cooked meal. How much easier it will be to just pull a ready-made meal from the freezer for them, rather than have to purchase all the food and cook and assemble it. There are some great ideas in the books that I intend to start implementing!
Ministry can be across the ocean, but it can also be right next door. Let's take advantage of the opportunities we have to show Christ's love to those near us!
Katrina in TN
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A Different Kind of Home School Group
By Sunny Lerch
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[Virginia's note: Our family had the privilege of meeting the Lerch family from Texas when they were in Orlando on vacation in June. What a joy!]
One thing that Steve and I felt very strongly to do this season was to change up our home-school group format from being a "support group" type of format, where we busy ourselves with the field trip planning and various informative home-school topics, into more of a "life group" where only the parents come, but they have a safe place to talk about the trials of the home-schooling life or whatever is going on with them in addition to home-schooling. You know, the kinds of things that if you said in a mixed group people would say, well, you need a break, why are you home-schooling through all this, or whatever.
As we have planned and prepared for this twice a month group, we are finding that those conversations are the very ones that need to happen with several of our people and now we have laid the groundwork to give them an easy place to talk about it and receive the ministry that they might not get otherwise. Needless to say, we are very excited about it - we start next Tuesday. Our church is providing free childcare while we meet at the church, so the older kids can serve in the children's ministry area while the younger ones have more structured time that our free-wheeling support group meetings used to afford - we had 2 halves of our fellowship hall back then and all the kids went together and sang songs, played games, did crafts, and watched a Christian video together - but now, someone else can coordinate all that while we make ourselves available for the adults in our group. As for our group, we still have the e-mail loop which is more than adequate for field trip planning and executing and other "businessy" matters!
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Oh, I guess that's enough stuff for now!
Remember to pray for me! (I'm serious!)
In His Sovereign Grace,
Virginia Knowles
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