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a ramble

Posted by: empalo <empalo@...>

This morning the floor was cold to my bare feet. In the darkness of the early morning, I quickly
went to work feeding the wood stove and setting a large opt of water on to boil for oatmeal.
The stove was not cold so soon it was burning bright and its warmth quickly warmed my toes.
The children still slept in peace as did my husband. I remember just looking at his face while he
slept just before I got up. He is a blessing simple as that.
Getting all cozy on the sofa with a nice warm afghan, I put one my glasses, a reminder that the
years are indeed slipping by. In front of me, my bible. Purple leather bound. Like rich wine. A
gift from an old friend of 40 years. Its my second purple bible, the first one so worn and the binding
showing lots of wear and tear. The new one, doesn't fall open nice yet. Its stiff and not broken in.
There are only a few highlighted passages and no hand written notes in the inside binding.
I keep trying to get used to the new bible, but more than not, I find myself going to the shelf and taking
down the well worn old friend.
There are notes in there, pleadings actually, hand written in the margins for the many times I cried
out to the Lord and He gave me a promise, a text to show me He will never leave me. There is the
one written in November 1991 when my daughter lie in a coma, with little or no hope to make it
through the next 24 hours. But God showed me His love in His word and 15 days later we had her
home and soon she was running around like any other child.
I keep trying to read this new Bible, but its so hard. Its not a friend yet. Not formed to my grip,
not bent to lay open on my lap. As I think about this, I wonder if I am the same way with new things
of any kind. New thoughts, new clothes, new friends, new ideas, new understandings.
Maybe I keep wanting what is comfortable and fits me. Maybe I don't like change, or reshaping the
way I look at something new.
The time is passing quicly in this quiet time of the morning. I hear boys stretching and doors opening
from other rooms. Feet patter down the long hallway.
My mind panics, "what verses did I study ? what did I learn to day that will help me?" Actually I am
not sure I read anything. I think my time was spent thinking about this new bible and comparing it
to the old one. Wonder if the new one will ever show wear and tear.
Maybe this was the lesson for me in this early morning time alone with God.
Perhaps, it was all about learning about holding on. The bible, be it old or new is a precious thing,
but there are old things in my life I could learn to let go of and be much happier. Like old eating habits,
old preconcieved ideas that serve no one.
Its now time to get the fire going again for supper. The day has gone so fast. Soon it will be time
to feed the chickens, gather eggs, and watch the children laugh and chat while they do chores and
sit at the family table talking about the day. My husband will look across out big table and just look
and I will feel the love he has for me. We will eat with delight the hot egyptian lentil soup and
then snuggle in to some simple games and wind down from our day.
We will pray together and look at His word. Which bible will I take off the shelf tonight ?

Pat
~Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam ~