Quote from Forum Archives on April 25, 2003, 11:27 pm

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

Hello Hope Chest friends!

 

A relative of mine who reads the Hope Chest alerted me to a safety concern she noticed in the Extras and Announcements message I sent earlier today.   So, I'd like to clarify what I said about my daughter walking around the neighborhood to invite folks to a church program.   In attempting to protect the privacy of my neighbor, I left the impression that my daughter was far away from our home, knocking on total stranger's doors.  This one lonely neighbor, a recent widow and senior citizen, lives only two doors down from us, in sight of the sidewalk where one of my older daughters was talking with friends.  All of the other neighbors are well known to us, and within sight of our home.  My daughter had asked me for permission to visit this specific neighbor, as well as each of the others.  (And it was only later that I realized she didn't have her shoes on!)  Also, though she is one of my younger daughters in terms of birth order, she is in the upper elementary grades, and capable of walking up and down our own street without undue concern.

 

I can appreciate my relative's concern, as she is personally and painfully sensitive to the issue of children's safety.  Please let me stress that we need to be vigilant in protecting our children from possible harm by other people -- whether they are well-known to us or not.  (It's not always the "stranger" that is the danger.)  This is also a good time to remind us all to keep communication lines open with our children, and to emphasize to them that they are welcome to tell us ANYTHING that causes them concern for their own safety, even if it is about someone otherwise trusted.

 

While we are on this subject, I am including the section on Safety from my book Common Sense Excellence: Faith-Filled Home Education for Preschool to 5th Grade.

 

Until next time, Virginia Knowles

 

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SAFETY

"A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps. A wise man fears the LORD and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless." Proverbs 14:15-16

"A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it." Proverbs 22:3

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: ‘For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:35-37

There is a difference between irrational fear and prudent caution. As we often heard after the terrorist attacks, one of the things that our enemy wanted to do was to instill a paralyzing fear in the citizens of the United States. The way to overcome this psychological assault was to quickly resume our normal daily habits, while doing everything we could to increase our national security. If we give way to panic, we won’t be able to think straight and make right decisions. A spirit of calmness is vital in any crisis situation! I find that this comes from knowing that I am in God’s care. Does God promise to keep us safe? That’s a good question! Our safety is in his hands, but that doesn’t mean that "bad" things won’t happen to us. Christian children still die and get hurt. If you tell them, "God won’t let anything bad happen to you," they will certainly be disillusioned when something does. What can we say to them? "No matter what happens, we are in God’s care. He is in control. He allows things to happen for a reason. And yes, he does expect us to play a part in our own safety, so don’t go jumping off the roof and expecting the angels to catch you!"

Set reasonable safety rules and emphasize natural consequences. A child’s emotional need for security is met when he understands that the limits we set for him are designed for his own well-being. By your instruction, and by personal experience, he can develop a sense of cause-and-effect: "Mom said to stay away from the fire place. If I stick my hand in the fire, I will get burned." Even if something is not certain to happen, he should be aware of potential danger: "If I ride my tricycle in the street, I could get hit by a car." Knowing what may happen as a natural consequence of his behavior will help him abide by your rules, especially if he has learned that you are trustworthy in what you say. Please remember that you have much more accumulated safety sense than your child does; don’t assume he already knows something. He is also watching you closely, so set a good example!

Teach your child to extend safety principles to new situations. As he begins to think in more abstract-level concepts, he can apply your instructions to settings that you haven’t foreseen. For example, if you have told him not to run around on a pool deck, he might transfer that idea ("You might lose your balance and fall in the water!") and realize that he shouldn’t run on a boat dock either.

Insist that your child obey your instructions instantly, completely, and even when you are not around. I cannot emphasize this enough. As parents, you know what is best for them. Their job is to follow your command. As the Bible says in Ephesians 6:1, it will go well with them. If they don’t stop immediately when you tell them to at a busy street corner, they may not live to tell about it.

Keep your child away from foolish playmates. There is "safety in numbers" only if the "numbers" are wise people! Unfortunately, children don’t always listen to the right people, and are often led into error by careless companions. If they are running around with a pack of unruly children, they might be hearing the message, "Aw, your folks just don’t want you to have any fun! You’re a chicken if you don’t do this with us. I dare ya!" or "No one will find out! It won’t hurt you this one time!" That’s how brush fires get started. Know who your child is with at any given moment, and supervise as necessary. Don’t accuse your child of tattling if he talks to you about a legitimate safety issue concerning the behavior of others. My rule is this: "If someone is in danger, I need to know!"

Teach your child to look out for the safety of others. He should try to make sure his own behavior won’t harm others, such as by being too boisterous. He should attempt to warn someone else who is in potential danger. He will need discernment to know whether to risk a rescue by himself (if he has the skill and the strength) or calling for help. For example, if someone has fallen through thin ice, he should try to quickly summon help if he can; otherwise he may fall in himself, and there will be two people in trouble! But if he sees a toddler wandering too close to the street with a car coming his way, he can try to grab the tot’s hand and lead it to safety.

Teach a child to live defensively. We can do things right, but we also need to be careful about the mistakes of others. When your child is older, he must learn to drive defensively by looking out for what other vehicles and pedestrians are doing. This concept can be applied right now by your child. He should always be alert for whatever is happening in a situation!

Find good safety instruction resources. You can easily do a web search on this topic, but you also will find loads of age appropriate books about safety in your public library. For preschool and early elementary, I like the:

• Safety First series (ABDO Publishing): Titles include Safety in the Water, Safety on the Go, Safety in Public Places, Safety at Home, Safety at School, Safety on Your Bicycle.

Teach your child about the major practical areas of safety:

• Emergency management: Teach your children -- even from the age of 2 or 3 -- how to use 9-1-1 to call for help. Stress that this is only for emergencies! A few days after listening to a safety songs tape, one of my daughters called 9-1-1 twice! The sheriffs who showed up at our door were not amused. I’ve heard that this fascinating stunt is actually pretty common with children. If your emergency phone system does not have a feature which automatically locates the address of the caller, your child will need to be able to tell where he is, including major cross streets.

• Fire prevention: Visit the fire department, do a home drill, find out how to exit your home during a fire, learn Stop Drop & Roll, crawl under the smoke, don’t play with matches or candles, etc. Check your smoke detector batteries regularly. Check out these web sites: Sparky the Fire Dog (www.nfpa.org/sparky/index.html) and Smokey the Bear (www.smokeybear.com).

• Household safety: Train your children how to protect themselves and their siblings from the dangers of electricity, water, poison, clutter, and other accidents. Take the time to childproof all of the rooms of your home. Who knows where a preschooler will wander when you are helping another child with school work! Buy the necessary shock stop devices for your outlets, safety gates for doors, barriers for your pool, locks for your cabinets. You may have to remind your children over and over again to clean up spills, pick up small chokeable objects, put away their nail polish remover, wind up electrical cords, and other "common sense" safety things.

• Body safety: Teach your child to stoop down by bending at the knees, not the waist. He should ask for help with lifting heavy objects, and make sure his grip is secure. If he needs to climb to reach something, he should use a sturdy stool, folding step-ladder or parent-approved chair.

• Personal safety: If your child gets lost, he will need to know his full name, parents’ names, home address and phone number (including cell phone). Teach your child how to avoid being kidnapped, molested or bullied. It’s not always by strangers! For example, he should always let you know where he is going, play in groups, not walk alone at night or in unfamiliar places, not accept rides or gifts from strangers, not go into a stranger’s home without you, etc. Explain the concept of appropriate touching. Do they know it is always safe to tell you or even YELL LOUDLY if someone, even a relative or family friend, is acting strangely toward them? Better safe than sorry!

• Car safety: Go over basic rules: buckle up snugly with your seat belt, don’t distract the driver, don’t attempt to open the door while the car is moving, don’t dangle objects or body parts out of the window, etc. Teach your child what each traffic sign and signal means. Set a good example by honoring the speed limit and other traffic rules.

• Pedestrian safety: You can model these rules as you walk around the neighborhood. Look both ways before you cross the street. Use crosswalks when possible. Walk facing oncoming traffic. (If cars drive on the right side of the road, you walk on the left.) Wear white or reflective clothing so you can be easily seen in the evening. Be aware of vehicles entering the roadway. Watch out for strangers! Make sure your children wear sturdy sneakers, rather than bare feet or sandals, when they are playing vigorously outside.

• Bike safety: Check out library books, inquire about classes at your police department, arrange a bike safety rally for your support group, and practice the rules when your children ride. Properly fitting helmets are a must!

• Sports safety: Teach your child to wear appropriate protective gear, watch out for holes or bumps in the playing field, follow the rules, don’t throw equipment, watch out for others, warm up the muscles before playing hard, etc.

• Water safety: Do they know how to tread water and stay afloat? Can they remove their shoes or other heavy apparel in water? Do they know basic rules about not running in a pool area or diving in shallow water? Do they use the buddy system while swimming?

• Internet safety: Your child should never give out personal identifying information by e-mail or Internet. They may think they are conversing with another child, but actually be the target of a dangerous predator who can track them down for personal contact. Please monitor your children!

 

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I guess you've heard enough from me today!

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

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