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ADVICE NOBODY WANTS

#1 · February 4, 2005, 9:36 am

Quote from Forum Archives on February 4, 2005, 9:36 am
Posted by: henkf <henkf@...>
SOME ADVICE NOBODY WANTS

There's an interesting book by Count Saint-Exupery called WIND, SAND, AND STARS. One incident in it is especially inspiring. The author and his comrade Guillaumet flew mail over the Andes for the government of Chile. One morning his pal took off in the face of a fierce snow storm. A combination of ice on his wings, heavy snow and terrific winds kept him from rising over the mountains and forced him to land on a frozen lake in the wilderness.

When he was down, Guillaumet dug a shelter under the cockpit and surrounded himself with mail bags. There he huddled for two days and two nights. When the storm finally subsided it took him five days and four nights to find his way back to civilization, crawling on his hands and knees in temperatures twenty degrees below zero.

How did he ever make it? How did he overcome the desire to lie down and rest, which would have meant death for him? Well, he thought of his wife and sons and how they needed him. He thought of his responsibility to get the mail through. And he survived, although his hands and feet were so badly frozen that they had to be amputated. When Saint-Exupery described his friend's bitter experience and his superhuman struggle to survive, he summed it all up in one sentence: "To be a man is, precisely, to be responsible." (Msgr. Arthur Tonne, FIVE MINUTE HOMILIES ON THE GOSPELS, (Hillsboro, Kansas: M.B. Publishing House, 1977).)

Let me repeat those important words:

TO BE A MAN--OR BETTER YET, TO BE A HUMAN BEING--IS TO BE RESPONSIBLE."

There it is: a crucial theological statement--a statement so critical to our understanding of life that it often goes unspoken and unexamined. To be a human being is to be responsible. When God placed Adam and Eve in the garden, they were to be responsible for tending the garden and keeping God's one commandment: "of the tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you shall eat of it you shall die." (Gen. 2:17)

Adam and Eve had two sons--Cain and Abel. And Cain slew Abel in a jealous rage. When confronted with his crime, Cain cried out, "Am I my brother's keeper?" In other words, he was asking if he was responsible for his brother. You know the answer. A lawyer once asked Jesus a question very similar to that one. When Jesus said that we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, the lawyer asks, "Who is my neighbor?" In other words, "How far does my responsibility extend? Am I responsible for my family, my immediate neighbors, the people in my own city, people of Ethiopia? Where does it all end?"

Jesus' disciples struggled with this same question: Is the gospel just for Jews, or is it for the Gentiles as well? Am I responsible for people who respond positively to me, or am I responsible for my enemies?

"And God spoke all these words, saying, I am Jehovah your God, who has brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make to yourselves any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in the heavens above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow yourself down to them, nor serve them. For I Jehovah your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation of those that hate me, and showing mercy to thousands of those that love Me and keep My commandments. You shall not take the name of Jehovah your God in vain. For Jehovah will not hold him guiltless that takes His name in vain. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is the Sabbath of Jehovah your God. You shall not do any work, you, nor your son, nor your daughter, your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger within your gates. For in six days Jehovah made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore Jehovah blessed the Sabbath day, and sanctified it. Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long upon the land which Jehovah your God gives you. You shall not kill. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is your neighbor's." (Exodus 20:1-17 MKJV)

This Old Testament text contains the set of moral injunctions that we know as the Ten Commandments. And what are the Ten Commandments but an attempt to define human responsibility? Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Honor thy father and mother.

What are my responsibilities--to my neighbor--to my God? The Ten Commandments seek to answer those questions.

To be a human being is to be responsible. We say to young people: "Be responsible." We say the same thing to married couples, to new drivers, to voters: act responsibly. Every facet of our life together depends on people acting responsibly. That is such a simple, obvious truth, and yet we so often fail to deal with it.

In fact, is there any of us who wants to have someone tell us to "act responsibly." Do teenagers want to hear it from parents? Do any of us want to hear it from our spouse, or even from our pastor? Responsibility is already a heavy burden for many of us, and what we really long for is escape. Just look at the numbers: how many alcoholics and drug addicts are chemically snared while seeking escape? How many extramarital affairs and other destructive activities are the simple product of people seeking escape from responsibility? We act a lot like a certain routine done by Jose Jimenez. He was a very popular comedian a number of years back. In this routine he played an astronaut being interviewed by newsmen just before his blast-off to the moon. One reporter asks, "Tell me, do you have any grave doubts about your success?" Jose responds, "Please don't use the word 'grave'." Another newsman asks, "How do you think you'll feel when you leave earth and pass on into space?" Jose says, "Please don't use those words 'pass on.'" Another asks, "Do you have any fear about this undertaking?" Jose answers, "Please don't use the word 'undertaking'."

Who among us would not rather escape from, rather than face up to our problems? And yet, to be a human being is to be responsible. To be emotionally mature is to be responsible. To be a follower of Jesus Christ is to be responsible.

If you have read Dr. M. Scott Peck's very popular book THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED, you know the emphasis he places upon responsibility. Dr. Peck is both a psychiatrist and a medical doctor, and he writes:

"The extent to which people will go psychologically to avoid assuming responsibility for personal problems, while always sad, is sometimes almost ludicrous. A career sergeant in the army, stationed in Okinawa and in serious trouble because of his excessive drinking, was referred for psychiatric evaluation and, if possible, assistance. He denied that he was an alcoholic, or even that his use of alcohol was a personal problem, saying, "There's nothing else to do in the evenings in Okinawa except drink."

"Do you like to read?" Peck asked.

"Oh yes," said the sergeant. "I like to read, sure."

"Then why don't you read in the evening instead of drinking?" Peck asked.

"It's too noisy to read in the barracks," said the sergeant.

"Well, then, why don't you go to the library?" Peck asked.

"The library is too far away."

"Is the library farther away than the bar you go to?"

"Well, I'm not much of a reader. That's not where my interests lie."

"Do you like to fish?" Peck then inquired.

"Sure, I love to fish."

"Why not go fishing instead of drinking?"

"Because I have to work all day long."

"Can't you go fishing at night?"

"No, there isn't any night fishing in Okinawa."

"But there is," Peck said. "I know several organizations that fish at night here. Would you like me to put you in touch with them?"

"Well, I really don't like to fish," said the sergeant.

"What I hear you saying," Peck clarified, "is that there are other things to do in Okinawa except drink, but the thing you like to do most in Okinawa is drink."

"Yeah, I guess so," the sergeant admitted.

"But your drinking is getting you in trouble, so you're faced with a real problem aren't you?"

With a curse the sergeant answered, "This island would drive anyone to drink." (Dr. M. Scott Peck, THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED, (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978)) There was no hope for that sergeant if he would not face up to the fact that he had a problem.

A much different story is that of Lauren Chapin. Do you remember her? She played the youngest child Kathy, affectionately called Kitten, on that classic family show of the fifties "Father Knows Best." I am wondering if you know what happened to Lauren Chapin after that series? "When 'Father Knows Best' finished, everything finished," she said. She couldn't get a job because she had been typecast as Kathy Anderson. Her inability to find work led her mother to drink and her to become belligerent. She ran away from home several times. And it got worse. In time she was into drugs, casual lovers, and fast company. She had eight miscarriages. All of which led to welfare, declining health, treatment in a mental hospital, and finally prison.

But something finally happened to Lauren Chapin. In the midst of her wildness the Prince of Peace came to her and moved her from pandemonium to peace. She said that when she accepted Christ, it occurred to her with a sudden clarity that she was an individual, worthy in her own right, who no longer had to live up to the impossible example of Kathy Anderson. "All my life I've wanted to be loved," she said. "God's love is the most complete love, and I think that is what I was looking for." (Dr. Joe Harding.)

Something happened in Lauren Chapin's life that allowed her to take responsibility for her own destiny. It was her experience of God's love in her life. Here is the key thought for today:

RESPONSIBILITY IS JUST WHAT THE WORD IMPLIES--IT IS A RESPONSE.

IT IS THE ABILITY, FIRST OF ALL, TO RESPOND TO OUR SITUATION.

In the words of the old poker player, "to take whatever hand life may deal us and play it." But some of us have not been dealt very good hands.

The Jews have an ancient legend of the "Sorrow Tree." According to this legend, on the day of judgment everyone will be allowed to hang all of their unhappiness on a branch of the great tree. Each person then will walk around the tree and examine all of the troubles hanging in the branches. Anyone may freely choose someone else's unhappiness as their own. But, as the legend concludes, no one will choose someone else's sorrows: everyone will reclaim their own over those of others. (Source Unknown.) We wouldn't want anyone else's troubles, therefore we must learn to deal with our own.

WE ALSO NEED TO BE ABLE TO RESPOND TO OUR OWN NEEDS AND ASPIRATIONS.

There was a message contained in an ad in the WALL STREET JOURNAL that I think would benefit all of us. It went like this:

"The greatest waste of our natural resources is the number of people who never achieve their potential. Get out of that slow lane. Shift into that fast lane. If you think you can't, you won't. If you think you can, there's a good chance you will. Even making the effort will make you feel like a new person. Reputations are made by searching for things that can't be done and doing them. Aim low: boring. Aim high: soaring."

Responsibility: the ability to respond to our situation --the ability to respond to our own needs and aspirations. But more--

THE ABILITY TO RESPOND TO THE NEEDS OF OTHERS.

Leo Buscaglia made America aware of the therapeutic value of hugging. He tells about Doctor Bresler at the UCLA pain clinic. He doesn't write regular prescriptions, he writes a prescription that says, "four hugs a day." People often tell him that he's crazy. But he says, "Oh no. Hug once in the morning, once at lunch, once in the evening and once before bed and you'll get well."

The ability to respond to people. Of course, we have to be careful. Even hugging can be an act of irresponsibility--if our intent is to debase or take advantage of another.

We must act responsibly towards our own situation, to our own needs and aspirations, and to the needs of others. But most importantly of all,

RESPONSIBILITY IS OUR RESPONSE TO GOD'S LOVE AS MANIFESTED IN JESUS CHRIST.

That is why the Ten Commandments and the Great Commandment are relevant to our lives. "We love because He first loved us."

We take responsibility for ourselves and others because He took responsibility for us on the cross of Calvary.

In March of 1978, a Colorado man brought a "malparenting suit" against his mother and father. He sued them for $300,000 for "lousing up his life," claiming that they had intentionally done a terrible job of parenting and had made him what he was. The judge dismissed the suit by saying that there must be a "statute of limitations" on parenting, and that there must come a time when an adult takes responsibility for his or her own life. If we don't, then next will come suits against brothers, sisters, teachers, and even friends. (David A. Seamands, PUTTING AWAY CHILDISH THINGS, (Wheaton: Victor Books, 1982). )

There are times when all of us would rather escape than to face our responsibility. When Charlie Brown questioned Linus about what the world would be like if everyone ran away from their problems, the little guy concluded that at least everyone would be running in the same direction!

But to be human is to be responsible. To be emotionally mature is to be responsible. To be a follower of Jesus Christ is to be responsible. We must be responsible for our situation, for our destiny, for the welfare of others, and always, in all things, we must be responsible for responding to the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

....
  ************************************  Weekly messages of hope and comfort for those who want to learn more about Jesus and His glorious plan for our lives.  To find out more about our ministry go to : worldoutreach.ca/sotn.htm  visit our "Ultimate Bible Quiz Site"  folsom.sk.ca/k4j/BQuiz/Quiz.html  *************************************                                                                              --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: [email protected]  

Posted by: henkf <henkf@...>

SOME ADVICE NOBODY WANTS

There's an interesting book by Count Saint-Exupery called WIND, SAND, AND STARS. One incident in it is especially inspiring. The author and his comrade Guillaumet flew mail over the Andes for the government of Chile. One morning his pal took off in the face of a fierce snow storm. A combination of ice on his wings, heavy snow and terrific winds kept him from rising over the mountains and forced him to land on a frozen lake in the wilderness.

When he was down, Guillaumet dug a shelter under the cockpit and surrounded himself with mail bags. There he huddled for two days and two nights. When the storm finally subsided it took him five days and four nights to find his way back to civilization, crawling on his hands and knees in temperatures twenty degrees below zero.

How did he ever make it? How did he overcome the desire to lie down and rest, which would have meant death for him? Well, he thought of his wife and sons and how they needed him. He thought of his responsibility to get the mail through. And he survived, although his hands and feet were so badly frozen that they had to be amputated. When Saint-Exupery described his friend's bitter experience and his superhuman struggle to survive, he summed it all up in one sentence: "To be a man is, precisely, to be responsible." (Msgr. Arthur Tonne, FIVE MINUTE HOMILIES ON THE GOSPELS, (Hillsboro, Kansas: M.B. Publishing House, 1977).)

Let me repeat those important words:

TO BE A MAN--OR BETTER YET, TO BE A HUMAN BEING--IS TO BE RESPONSIBLE."

There it is: a crucial theological statement--a statement so critical to our understanding of life that it often goes unspoken and unexamined. To be a human being is to be responsible. When God placed Adam and Eve in the garden, they were to be responsible for tending the garden and keeping God's one commandment: "of the tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you shall eat of it you shall die." (Gen. 2:17)

Adam and Eve had two sons--Cain and Abel. And Cain slew Abel in a jealous rage. When confronted with his crime, Cain cried out, "Am I my brother's keeper?" In other words, he was asking if he was responsible for his brother. You know the answer. A lawyer once asked Jesus a question very similar to that one. When Jesus said that we are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, the lawyer asks, "Who is my neighbor?" In other words, "How far does my responsibility extend? Am I responsible for my family, my immediate neighbors, the people in my own city, people of Ethiopia? Where does it all end?"

Jesus' disciples struggled with this same question: Is the gospel just for Jews, or is it for the Gentiles as well? Am I responsible for people who respond positively to me, or am I responsible for my enemies?

"And God spoke all these words, saying, I am Jehovah your God, who has brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make to yourselves any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in the heavens above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow yourself down to them, nor serve them. For I Jehovah your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation of those that hate me, and showing mercy to thousands of those that love Me and keep My commandments. You shall not take the name of Jehovah your God in vain. For Jehovah will not hold him guiltless that takes His name in vain. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is the Sabbath of Jehovah your God. You shall not do any work, you, nor your son, nor your daughter, your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger within your gates. For in six days Jehovah made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore Jehovah blessed the Sabbath day, and sanctified it. Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long upon the land which Jehovah your God gives you. You shall not kill. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is your neighbor's." (Exodus 20:1-17 MKJV)

This Old Testament text contains the set of moral injunctions that we know as the Ten Commandments. And what are the Ten Commandments but an attempt to define human responsibility? Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Honor thy father and mother.

What are my responsibilities--to my neighbor--to my God? The Ten Commandments seek to answer those questions.

To be a human being is to be responsible. We say to young people: "Be responsible." We say the same thing to married couples, to new drivers, to voters: act responsibly. Every facet of our life together depends on people acting responsibly. That is such a simple, obvious truth, and yet we so often fail to deal with it.

In fact, is there any of us who wants to have someone tell us to "act responsibly." Do teenagers want to hear it from parents? Do any of us want to hear it from our spouse, or even from our pastor? Responsibility is already a heavy burden for many of us, and what we really long for is escape. Just look at the numbers: how many alcoholics and drug addicts are chemically snared while seeking escape? How many extramarital affairs and other destructive activities are the simple product of people seeking escape from responsibility? We act a lot like a certain routine done by Jose Jimenez. He was a very popular comedian a number of years back. In this routine he played an astronaut being interviewed by newsmen just before his blast-off to the moon. One reporter asks, "Tell me, do you have any grave doubts about your success?" Jose responds, "Please don't use the word 'grave'." Another newsman asks, "How do you think you'll feel when you leave earth and pass on into space?" Jose says, "Please don't use those words 'pass on.'" Another asks, "Do you have any fear about this undertaking?" Jose answers, "Please don't use the word 'undertaking'."

Who among us would not rather escape from, rather than face up to our problems? And yet, to be a human being is to be responsible. To be emotionally mature is to be responsible. To be a follower of Jesus Christ is to be responsible.

If you have read Dr. M. Scott Peck's very popular book THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED, you know the emphasis he places upon responsibility. Dr. Peck is both a psychiatrist and a medical doctor, and he writes:

"The extent to which people will go psychologically to avoid assuming responsibility for personal problems, while always sad, is sometimes almost ludicrous. A career sergeant in the army, stationed in Okinawa and in serious trouble because of his excessive drinking, was referred for psychiatric evaluation and, if possible, assistance. He denied that he was an alcoholic, or even that his use of alcohol was a personal problem, saying, "There's nothing else to do in the evenings in Okinawa except drink."

"Do you like to read?" Peck asked.

"Oh yes," said the sergeant. "I like to read, sure."

"Then why don't you read in the evening instead of drinking?" Peck asked.

"It's too noisy to read in the barracks," said the sergeant.

"Well, then, why don't you go to the library?" Peck asked.

"The library is too far away."

"Is the library farther away than the bar you go to?"

"Well, I'm not much of a reader. That's not where my interests lie."

"Do you like to fish?" Peck then inquired.

"Sure, I love to fish."

"Why not go fishing instead of drinking?"

"Because I have to work all day long."

"Can't you go fishing at night?"

"No, there isn't any night fishing in Okinawa."

"But there is," Peck said. "I know several organizations that fish at night here. Would you like me to put you in touch with them?"

"Well, I really don't like to fish," said the sergeant.

"What I hear you saying," Peck clarified, "is that there are other things to do in Okinawa except drink, but the thing you like to do most in Okinawa is drink."

"Yeah, I guess so," the sergeant admitted.

"But your drinking is getting you in trouble, so you're faced with a real problem aren't you?"

With a curse the sergeant answered, "This island would drive anyone to drink." (Dr. M. Scott Peck, THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED, (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978)) There was no hope for that sergeant if he would not face up to the fact that he had a problem.

A much different story is that of Lauren Chapin. Do you remember her? She played the youngest child Kathy, affectionately called Kitten, on that classic family show of the fifties "Father Knows Best." I am wondering if you know what happened to Lauren Chapin after that series? "When 'Father Knows Best' finished, everything finished," she said. She couldn't get a job because she had been typecast as Kathy Anderson. Her inability to find work led her mother to drink and her to become belligerent. She ran away from home several times. And it got worse. In time she was into drugs, casual lovers, and fast company. She had eight miscarriages. All of which led to welfare, declining health, treatment in a mental hospital, and finally prison.

But something finally happened to Lauren Chapin. In the midst of her wildness the Prince of Peace came to her and moved her from pandemonium to peace. She said that when she accepted Christ, it occurred to her with a sudden clarity that she was an individual, worthy in her own right, who no longer had to live up to the impossible example of Kathy Anderson. "All my life I've wanted to be loved," she said. "God's love is the most complete love, and I think that is what I was looking for." (Dr. Joe Harding.)

Something happened in Lauren Chapin's life that allowed her to take responsibility for her own destiny. It was her experience of God's love in her life. Here is the key thought for today:

RESPONSIBILITY IS JUST WHAT THE WORD IMPLIES--IT IS A RESPONSE.

IT IS THE ABILITY, FIRST OF ALL, TO RESPOND TO OUR SITUATION.

In the words of the old poker player, "to take whatever hand life may deal us and play it." But some of us have not been dealt very good hands.

The Jews have an ancient legend of the "Sorrow Tree." According to this legend, on the day of judgment everyone will be allowed to hang all of their unhappiness on a branch of the great tree. Each person then will walk around the tree and examine all of the troubles hanging in the branches. Anyone may freely choose someone else's unhappiness as their own. But, as the legend concludes, no one will choose someone else's sorrows: everyone will reclaim their own over those of others. (Source Unknown.) We wouldn't want anyone else's troubles, therefore we must learn to deal with our own.

WE ALSO NEED TO BE ABLE TO RESPOND TO OUR OWN NEEDS AND ASPIRATIONS.

There was a message contained in an ad in the WALL STREET JOURNAL that I think would benefit all of us. It went like this:

"The greatest waste of our natural resources is the number of people who never achieve their potential. Get out of that slow lane. Shift into that fast lane. If you think you can't, you won't. If you think you can, there's a good chance you will. Even making the effort will make you feel like a new person. Reputations are made by searching for things that can't be done and doing them. Aim low: boring. Aim high: soaring."

Responsibility: the ability to respond to our situation --the ability to respond to our own needs and aspirations. But more--

THE ABILITY TO RESPOND TO THE NEEDS OF OTHERS.

Leo Buscaglia made America aware of the therapeutic value of hugging. He tells about Doctor Bresler at the UCLA pain clinic. He doesn't write regular prescriptions, he writes a prescription that says, "four hugs a day." People often tell him that he's crazy. But he says, "Oh no. Hug once in the morning, once at lunch, once in the evening and once before bed and you'll get well."

The ability to respond to people. Of course, we have to be careful. Even hugging can be an act of irresponsibility--if our intent is to debase or take advantage of another.

We must act responsibly towards our own situation, to our own needs and aspirations, and to the needs of others. But most importantly of all,

RESPONSIBILITY IS OUR RESPONSE TO GOD'S LOVE AS MANIFESTED IN JESUS CHRIST.

That is why the Ten Commandments and the Great Commandment are relevant to our lives. "We love because He first loved us."

We take responsibility for ourselves and others because He took responsibility for us on the cross of Calvary.

In March of 1978, a Colorado man brought a "malparenting suit" against his mother and father. He sued them for $300,000 for "lousing up his life," claiming that they had intentionally done a terrible job of parenting and had made him what he was. The judge dismissed the suit by saying that there must be a "statute of limitations" on parenting, and that there must come a time when an adult takes responsibility for his or her own life. If we don't, then next will come suits against brothers, sisters, teachers, and even friends. (David A. Seamands, PUTTING AWAY CHILDISH THINGS, (Wheaton: Victor Books, 1982). )

There are times when all of us would rather escape than to face our responsibility. When Charlie Brown questioned Linus about what the world would be like if everyone ran away from their problems, the little guy concluded that at least everyone would be running in the same direction!

But to be human is to be responsible. To be emotionally mature is to be responsible. To be a follower of Jesus Christ is to be responsible. We must be responsible for our situation, for our destiny, for the welfare of others, and always, in all things, we must be responsible for responding to the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

....

  ************************************  Weekly messages of hope and comfort for those who want to learn more about Jesus and His glorious plan for our lives.  To find out more about our ministry go to : worldoutreach.ca/sotn.htm  visit our "Ultimate Bible Quiz Site"  folsom.sk.ca/k4j/BQuiz/Quiz.html  *************************************                                                                              --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: [email protected]