After Divorce, Then What?
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Straight to the Cross
COLUMN: Hands-on Faith
After Divorce, Then What?
by Barry Newton
When making plans for the future, everybody likes
to receive approval. And the stakes become even
more intense when it is not just someone else's
opinion but God's commendation which is desired.
The more important our plans are to us, the
stronger will be the desire to hear Scripture
affirming that we are at least justified in our
plans.
One subject which can stir very strong feelings
is, after divorce then what? For young people,
those who are married as well as those who are
divorced, the study of godly options after divorce
is beneficial.
It is imperative that you, the reader, understand
that this article only seeks to address the
question, "as a child of God who is divorced, what
does God want me to do?" Reread the last sentence
until it clearly sinks into your mind that this
article omits any attempt to answer any aspect
about what has already happened whether it be
divorce or remarriage. This is only about looking
at what biblical options are available to a
Christian who is currently divorced. Ready?
God's people embedded within the permissive city
of Corinth had a question or two for Paul about
marriage. Starting with 1 Corinthians 7:1, Paul
responded to their concerns. To these people who
were wanting to serve God, we discover Paul
recounting Jesus' commands regarding what a
divorced person seeking to do God's will can do (1
Cor. 7:10,11). Later in 1 Corinthians 7:39, by
inference we also discover a third option. These
three options are:
1) Remain single
2) Be reconciled to your spouse
3) After the former spouse dies, the Christian
could remarry someone who is in the Lord.
To a church which was so tolerant in its thinking
that it was proud to have a man who was married to
his father's wife (1 Cor. 5:1,2) and who needed to
be told that Christians ought not to join
themselves with harlots (1 Cor. 6:15,16), these
teachings might have sounded quite extreme.
Perhaps this will also seem severe to the ears of
our permissive generation. But as hard as it might
be to hear, scripture consistently proclaims that
to remarry before a spouse dies involves adultery,
unless someone has divorced the other for the
cause of infidelity (Mk. 10:11,12; Rom. 7:3; Matt.
5:32; 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:39; Matt. 5:32; 19:9).
It is also noteworthy that enmeshed within the
marital context of 1 Corinthians 7, Paul informs
us of the universal principle he had recommended
in all the churches. This principle involved a
person remaining in that situation in which God
had called him (1 Cor. 7:17,20,24). The idea is to
"bloom where you are planted." Applying this to a
divorced person who responds to the gospel, Paul
would be underscoring that the divorcee can serve
God as someone who is single.
This study about options after divorce contains
lessons for all of us. To the young person
dedicated to serving God, before you marry
someone, thoughtfully consider whether this
Christian you want to marry has the godly
character and commitment to go the distance with
you until you die. If you have doubts about it
lasting that long, realize what your options will
be as a divorcee who desires to follow God's ways.
To those who are married, do not look at divorce
as an easy way out of a difficult situation which
can provide you with an automatic divinely
approved "Get Married Again" card. To those who
are divorced, Scripture provides three options as
well as a fourth one if your spouse was unchaste.
None of us can change the past. Praise God that
sins can be forgiven. What we have control over
today is what we will choose to do today and what
plans we make for tomorrow. As disciples dedicated
to serving God, let's determine to act in a manner
today which will uphold God's will. And for those
who are married or for whom contemplating marriage
is within God's will for them, weigh seriously
what it would mean to faithfully serve God as a
divorced individual in order to help you act
responsibly and appropriately today.
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