Quote from Forum Archives on April 7, 2005, 3:34 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Aprons"

 

 

 

The principle use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress
underneath, but along with that, it served as a holder for removing
hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was
even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

 

From the chicken-coop the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy
chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in  the
warming oven.
When company came those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

 

And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her
arms. Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over
the hot wood stove. Chips and kindling wood were brought into the
kitchen in that apron.

 

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the
peas had been shelled it carried out the hulls. In the fall the
apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

 

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how
much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds. When
dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her
apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

 

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will
replace that "old-time apron" that served so many purposes. Send
this to those who would know, and love the story about Grandma's aprons.

 

REMEMBER THIS! "Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the
window sill to cool. Her granddaughter's set theirs on the window  sill to thaw".

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Manufacturers Recall Notice"

 

The Maker of all human beings, is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

 

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

 

This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal Non-morality", or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

 

Some other symptoms:

 

Loss of direction
Foul vocal emissions
Amnesia of origin
Lack of peace and joy
Selfish, or violent behavior
Depression or confusion in the mental component
Fearfulness
Idolatry
Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.

 

The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

 

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.

 

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

 

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

 

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.

 

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

 

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

 

Thank you for your immediate attention.

 

GOD

 

Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice!!!

 

Don't tell God how Big your storm is.
Tell the storm how Big your GOD is !

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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