Quote from Forum Archives on October 1, 2001, 10:02 pm

Posted by: mrsmcole <mrsmcole@...>

Pat,

Our son has many of these traits. How in the world does one help these
kids. He is in such trouble now. My heart aches for him. If only we had
known earlier.

Sharon

> Greetings in the Precious Name of the Messiah,
>
> Its a true bleesing when we can see the joy in ones dying, for the reward
is
> theirs.
> The loss is ours in missing them, but they are in a place where there is
> only bliss.
>
> About the child of your cousins, the abused child. Pray without ceasing
> that they make
> the right choice for their family.
> I will share with you a bit about what such a wounded child can be like.
We
> have one.
> Our youngest has "attatchment disorder" common among children not cared
for
> in the
> first two years of life. This hurt child of ours has completly changed
> our family.
> Destroyed peace and harmony. There is no punishment that would change
his
> behavior.
> There is no way to reach his heart excpt by a miracle. Which I hold out
> for.
> I would not have given him back or not taken him had I known, but I would
> have
> liked to know more about what we were in for. I am not one to hold much
> stock in
> psycho therapy and such, matter of fact our family does not believe in it.
> But there
> is a truth about a child who is not loved from the start, having many many
> problems.
> I think this is a truth that can be seen without having anything to do
with
> seeing a shrink.
>
> When adopting please check to see if the child has this problem, it is
> especially common
> in children from orphanges. Then pray and decide what you can handle.
> Although our youngest gave his heart to the Lord, the problems still
exist,
> but in a
> different way.
> There are 22 symptoms associated with this lack of ability to bond, and
they
> can put
> you through a test that is harder than anything you can imagine.
> Since we have been speaking of adoption I will include the list so that
one
> can be aware
> of this problem and then ask the Lord to guide you. I am praying for
your
> cousins, as I
> understand what it can be like to have a child that is so profoundly
wounded
> by abuse and
> lack of love early on.
> Lovinly,
> Pat
>
> Chronic Attachment disorder Symptoms:
> Superficially charming and engaging.
> Affectionate with strangers or attempts to leave with strangers.
> Refuses, or resists, or is uncomfortable with affection on parental terms.
> Hyperactive, over active, or attention deficit.
> Destructive to self or others.
> Significant learning problems or lags. Often speech problems.
> Fire setting, fire play, or fascination with fire.
> Hoarding, gorging, eating abnormalities, or hiding food.
> Intense control battles.
> Icessant chatter or nonsense.
> Cruelty to animals.
> Poor undeveloped or no conscience.
> Fasination with weapons, blood or gore.
> Daily lying or lying in the face of the obvious. (Crazy lying)
> Parents who feel like giving up or feel hostile toward the child.
>
>
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