Bad Day
Posted by: clean-hewmor <clean-hewmor@...>
(this was an article in the CALIFORNIA EXAMINER, March 20, 1998):
Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section
of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with a dive tank,
flippers, and face mask.
A post-mortem examination revealed that the person died not from
burns, But from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a
positive identification. Investigators then set about determining how a fully
clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that,
on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the
coast---------some 20 miles away from the forest. The firefighters,
seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a
fleet of helicopters with very large buckets. The buckets were dropped into the
ocean for rapid filling, then flown to the forest fire and emptied.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next thing he was doing a breaststroke in a fire bucket
300 feet in the air.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
STILL THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY? THINK AGAIN.
The following is taken from a Florida newspaper:
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in
the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle
and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the
handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and along with the
motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her
husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying
next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and
summoned an ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill,
the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to
direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and
transported the husband to the hospital, the wife upright the
motorcycle and pushed it outside. Since gas had spilled on the floor, the wife
obtained some papers towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the
towels in the toilet. The husband was treated at the hospital and
was released to come home.
After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the
damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the
bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the
cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still
seated.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband
screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the
floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the
buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone
and called for an ambulance. The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the
wife met them at the street.
The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying
Him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street
accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the
husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started
laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the
husband out. He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.
Now THAT is a bad day...