Quote from Forum Archives on February 24, 2004, 5:46 am

Posted by: tfegan <tfegan@...>

Imagine you bring your car to the garage to get the engine working right and
the mechanic tells you that, even though it's in quite rough shape, it can
be fixed. Great, so you leave your car in the capable hands of the mechanic
and the engine is taken apart so the problems can be found and repaired.

The next day you get a call from the mechanic and you're told that, even
though your car can be fixed, they can no longer work on it because the
insurance company will not pay for any further repairs. Further, while the
nice people at the garage are very sorry for the dismal state of affairs,
they ask you to come down and pick up your car in its disassembled state.

Okay, there are a lot of difficult things about working with kids with abuse
and neglect issues, as if their psychological and behavioral issues aren't
enough for them. But I am *really* struggling with counties, agencies,
insurance companies, etc., etc., who only know that at the end of the day
they need to see more dollar signs coming in than going out. So they offer
to pay for "X" ammount of sessions, or a certain kind of treatment, or
...whatever.

So now, we have a youth who is much like that car with the engine torn apart
....because, in reality, someone has to make a decision about how they can
best make a profit.

Except, if it were only a car we're talking about ...imagine you went to see
a therapist and, at the end of you spilling your guts to them they tell you
"Hmmmm, I see. Interesting. Oh! Look at the time!" (taken from VeggieTales
"I Love My Lips" ...just to add a bit of humor; it's one of my defense
mechanisms).

Please, please, *please* (emphatic!) pray that we can convince a certain
agency to extend treatment for one of the kids where I work. Pray that God
will work in this situation to move hearts; that the right people talk with
the right people at the right time .....and the right papers will be signed
by the right person (it comes down to pushing papers) .... please pray that,
ultimately, this youth (and all the kids) can find true healing in Christ.

I spent the better part of three hours Monday night "cleaning up the mess"
in the wake of one of the remaining counseling sessions this particular
youth has. I'll tell you all right now that these kids have their own
"passions" that no one should *ever* have to experience. I wish I could
share ...but, alas, it would be rated "R" and, on top of that, I'd be
violating confidentiality. These kids could write books about evil, pain,
injustice, and suffering that would make us all shut our mouths over some of
the discussions we have. Frankly, most of us don't really know what we're
talking about. They have lived it and (what a bonus) they get to live it
again, and again, and again... Anyone care to have a glimpse into their
lives, read "A Child Called It" by Dave Pelzer.

I know that my ratio of bass-related posts to non-bass-related posts
probably isn't the highest. Truly, I've dreamed (in a past life somewhere,
it seems, once upon a time) that I could tell everyone about my latest
project and about the tour dates coming up. I'd have even been happy as a
side-man for a side-man. But I believe God has me doing exactly what I'm
doing because ...well, I'm still trying to figure that one out. It's a high
stress job (emotionally especially) for not a lot of pay, and few people
even know about (I'm still waiting for that Gatorade endorsement ...I drink
enough of it at work). In any event, I do value a place where things like
this can be shared. ....and I can talk about music once in a while too.

FWIW, our drummer's son is still struggling through chemo, as is the family.
Even so, we're having our first rehearsal of the year on Wednesday afternoon
(yes, right between a morning team meeting and my afternoon shift; pray for
that too). I'm looking forward to it.

BTW, for those fathers and mothers on this list: spend time with your kids
whenever you can. Ask them what they'd like to do (and it's okay if they
don't want to play the bass just like their mom or dad! ;-). Show them the
respect that they deserve as a child of God. Let them know how important
they are. Honor them. Bless them. Have fun with them. Encourage them. Pray
for them.

In Christ,
Tim Fegan <
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tfegan@kconline.com
www.members.kconline.com/tfegan
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"I have never met a person I could despair of,
or lose all hope for, after discerning what lies
in me apart from the grace of God." --Oswald Chambers