Doc's Daily Chuckle 4/13/15
Posted by: pkaine <pkaine@...>
DOC'S DAILY CHUCKLE
Always Clean Chuckles
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
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In the US, it is crunch time for tax payers who wait
until the last minute to file. Personally, if it were
up to me, I would abolish all taxes except sales tax.
That would get rid of loopholes. The rich would pay
more as they buy more. Others would not be looked at
as not paying their fair share. Even the illegals
would have to pay.
Doc
Today's Chuckles
1. Bar Competition
2. Tax Return
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Bar Competition
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest
man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender
would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and
hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more
drop of juice out would win the money.
Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen,
etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick
glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice
"I'd like to try the bet".
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed
a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains
of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched
his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the
little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a
weight-lifter, or what?"
The man replied "I work for the IRS."
- from ArcaMax Jokes
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The most valuable possession you can own is an open
heart. The most powerful weapon you can be is an
instrument of peace. - Carlos Santana
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Tax Return
This story is said to be true: IRS actually commented on
this one.
Something to ponder ...... but, still worth a broad Smile !
Amazing, but true, if you think about it, and it shows the
importance of accuracy in your tax return.
The IRS has returned the Tax Return to a man in New Jersey
after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly.
In response to the question, ... "Do you have anyone dependent
on you ?"
The man wrote: ... "2.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million
crackheads,4.4 million unemployable scroungers, 80,000 criminals
in over 85 prisons plus 650 idiots in Washington and the entire
group that call themselves Politicians".
IRS stated that the response he gave was unacceptable.
The man's response back was, ... "Who did I leave out?"
- from Anna Ruth
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Please pray for: Yvette, Josie, Chrispina, Wilma, Ann, Nick, Cindy.
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