Doc's Daily Chuckle 4/27/15
Posted by: pkaine <pkaine@...>
DOC'S DAILY CHUCKLE
Always Clean Chuckles
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
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My grandson received his First Communion yesterday.
Several family members were there to celebrate with
us.
Doc
Today's Chuckles
1. McDonald's Job Application
2. Name
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McDonald's Job Application
This reportedly is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy
submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...
and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg B. (Name withheld to protect the guilty)
SEX: Not yet.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be
picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an
offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen
pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: I hated it
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I
be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU
FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question
here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I
may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House
Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living
in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde
super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since
sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO
THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
- from ArcaMax Jokes
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and
the blind can see. - Mark Twain
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Name
My daughter had a friend over for dinner and although his
name is Jason, for some reason I kept calling him John.
Both he and Marie would correct me.
Finally I said: "I'll make an association. I'll take the
son from Jason and think of you as a son from now on."
"That's great!" Jason exclaimed. "Can I borrow the keys to
the car, Dad?"
- from Da Mouse Tracks
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Please pray for: Amir, Alexander, Maribel, Joanne, Sharyn, Loren, Mike.
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Have a TERRIFIC day!
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