DOC'S DAILY CHUCKLE 5/21/14
Posted by: pkaine <pkaine@...>
DOC'S DAILY CHUCKLE
Always Clean Chuckles
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
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My extended family is chock-full of graduations.
A niece is now a nurse anesthetist, her husband
received his doctorate, a nephew and 2 nieces
received their bachelor's degrees, 2 nephews
are celebrating their high school graduations.
Doc
Today's Chuckles
1. No Trouble
2. Heaven Points
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No Trouble
My partner and I pulled our police cruiser up behind a car
stopped on the shoulder of the highway. We got out and asked
the driver if we could help.
No, he replied, there was no trouble; he had just stopped to
look at a map.
When we turned back, we noticed that his German shepherd had
jumped in the open passenger-side front window of our car.
"You may think there's no trouble," I smiled, "but your dog
obviously thinks he's done something wrong. He's in our patrol
car."
He laughed. "He probably thinks you've come to take him to
work," he replied. "He's a retired police dog."
- from Da Mouse Tracks
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You have it. You have what it takes. It takes believing
in yourself. It takes hard work. Which are you lacking
"Believing" or "wanting to work hard? - Bob Perks
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Heaven Points
A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at
the Pearly Gates and says, "Here's how it works. You
need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me
all the good things you've done and I give you a
certain number of points for each item, depending on
how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get
in."
"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same
woman for 50 years and never cheated on her and
loved her deep in my heart."
"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth
two points."
"Two points!?" he says. "Well, I attended church all
my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and
service."
"Terrific!" says St. Peter. "That's certainly worth
a point."
"One point!?!! Well, I started a soup kitchen in my
city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.
"Two points!?!! Exasperated, the man cries, "At this
rate the only way I'll get into heaven is by the grace
of God."
"Bingo! 100 points! Come on in!"
- from Alena P. (via Mikey's Funnies)
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Please pray for: Patricia, Betty, Anna Ruth, Darlene, Cindy, Taylor.
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