Doc's Daily Chuckle 7/23/15
Posted by: pkaine <pkaine@...>
DOC'S DAILY CHUCKLE
Always Clean Chuckles
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
________________________________________
Please feel welcome to forward this email to your
friends, inviting them to become a member of the
Doc's Daily Chuckle family!
If you got this from a friend and would like your own
copy sent to you regularly, please sign up at
________________________________________
We've had a few days in a row of sunny days. Lower
humidity and temps in the 70's and 80's have added
to the pleasantness.
Doc
Today's Chuckles
1. Poor
2. Queen for a Day
------------------------------
Poor
I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor,
I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think
of myself as needy. I was deprived. Then they told me that
it was bad for my ego to think of myself as deprived, I was
really underprivileged. Then they told me that underprivileged
was overused. I was disadvantaged.
I still don't have a cent to my name. But I have a great
vocabulary.
- from Da Mouse Tracks
------------------------------
I believe with all my heart that standing up for America
means standing up for the God who has so blessed our land.
We need God's help to guide our nation through stormy seas.
But we can't expect Him to protect America in a crisis if
we just leave Him over on the shelf in our day-to-day living.
- Ronald Reagan
------------------------------
Queen for a Day
By Rosie Wysong Browning
I lived in Indiana for 35 years, and I moved to Florida 30 years
ago. It was a great place to be a child. I sometimes lament that
my grandchildren aren't growing up where everyone watches over
everyone else's children for their benefit. It is a different
world.
My sisters and I were mesmerized when we watched our first Miss
America pageant on our small black and white television. We
watched in awe as Miss America glided down the walkway waving
benevolently to her adoring fans. We practiced that walk and
wave in our living room many times, improving and enhancing our
regal walk.
Later, when our small town had a parade there was in real life,
we could see her in living color, a queen on the back of a car.
It was a wonder. She wore a beautiful red gown, had a green cape
around her shoulders, and a crown that must have had a million
sparkling diamonds. In our eyes, it was all magnificent. This was
true glamor, and we wanted it to be our destiny.
The next day it was of utmost importance to reenact the royalty and
majesty that we had seen. Since I was the oldest, there was no doubt
that I would be the queen. I was ordained by me, that my lowly ser-
vants would applaud and bow when I walked past them.
But, I needed more, a float like the local queen had. Our red wagon
could serve as the float, and my sisters could pull me. My sisters,
however, had other ideas. After lots of coercion and promises that
they would get their turns, I convinced them that I would ride, and
they would pull.
But, I was missing the cape and the crown. We scurried around, found
some tin foil and crafted a stunning crown. A green towel became the
cape. Something was missing. There were no rose petals to throw. I
knew that a queen should have something to throw to her adoring fans.
Down the street from our home was "the woods." We were forbidden to go
into "the woods, but there we could find plenty of leaves. I loaded the
wagon with leaves, and let my sisters roll the humble, splendid queen
down the street as I tossed the leaves to my imaginary throng of adoring
fans.
After they pulled me, I lost interest in the pomp and regalia, and went
off to play with my friend. My sisters were angry, but they really didn't
understand the whims of royalty.
Later that evening after my bath, I began to itch and itch. Red rashes
began erupting all over my body. After several questions, mother ascer-
tained that I had been to "the woods." She also quickly concluded that
my rose petal substitutes had been poison ivy leaves.
My sisters sat smugly as I was chastised for going to "the woods," and
for the next week they gleefully watched the agony of the queen as she
was painted pink with calamine lotion and itched insufferably.
- by Rosie Wysong Browning (via Kid Warmers)
--------
Please pray for: Mikey, Archie, Glen, Maureen, Patricia, Chris, Ben.
=================
Have a TERRIFIC day!
If you need to leave, do so at: [email protected]
If you need to change your address, send the old address to the leave
address and the new address to the join e-mail at the top.
To unsubscribe, e-mail: [email protected]
For additional commands, e-mail: [email protected]