Doc's DailyChuckle 12/27/19
Posted by: pkaine <pkaine@...>
Always Clean Chuckles
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
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Tomorrow is the last major Christmas party.
All my children and grandchildren will be there
except Bill’s family. He’s stationed in Korea.
Doc
Today's Chuckles
1. Twas the Night Before Christmas for Moms
2. A Cat's 12 Days of Christmas
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Twas the Night Before Christmas for Moms
Twas the night before Christmas
When all thru the abode
Only one creature was stirring
And she was cleaning the commode.
The children were finally sleeping
All snug in their beds,
While visions of Nintendo and Barbie
flipped through their heads.
The dad was snoring in front of the TV
with a half-constructed bicycle on his knee.
So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter
Which made her sigh, "Now what's the matter?"
With toilet bowl brush
Still clutched in her hand
She descended the stairs and saw the old man.
He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug.
"Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug."
"Ho-ho-ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake."
"Your gift was especially difficult to make."
"Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone."
"Exactly!" he chuckled, "I've made you a clone."
"A clone?" she asked, "What good is that?
Run along, Santa, I've no time for chit-chat."
The mother's twin,
Same hair, same eyes,
Same double chin.
"She'll cook, she'll dust," she'll mop every mess.
You'll relax, take it easy,
Watch The Young & the Restless."
"Fantastic!" the mom cheered.
"My dream come true! "
I'll shop. I'll read.
I'll sleep a whole night through!"
From the room above the youngest began to fret.
"Mommy?! I scared... and I wet."
The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart."
"Hey," the mom smiled, "She knows her part."
The clone changed the small one and hummed a tune
As she bundled the child in a blanket cocoon.
"You're the best mommy ever. I really love you."
The clone smiled and sighed, "I love you, too."
The mom frowned and said, "Sorry, Santa, no deal."
That's my child's love she's trying to steal."
Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear.
Only one loving mother is needed here."
The mom kissed her child and tucked her into bed.
"Thank you, Santa," for clearing my head.
I sometimes forget it won't be very long
when they'll be too old for my cradle-song."
The clock on the mantle began to chime.
Santa whispered to the clone,
"It works every time."
With the clone by his side, Santa said, "Goodnight
Merry Christmas, dear Mom. You'll be just fine!"
• From Mikey’s Funnies
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Do not wait for extraordinary circumstances to do good; try to use
ordinary situations. -Jean Paul Richter
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A Cat's 12 Days of Christmas
On the twelfth day of Christmas my human gave to me:
Twelve bags of catnip!
Eleven tasty cat treats,
Ten ornaments hanging,
Nine wads of tissue,
Eight peacock feathers,
Seven stolen Q-tips,
Six feathered balls,
Five MILK JUG RINGS!
Four munchy house plants,
Three running faucets,
Two fuzzy mousies,
And a hamste-e-er in a plastic ball!!
- From GCFL
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Please pray for: Jance, Jean, Shelly, Eric, Darrell, Margaret.
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Have a TERRIFIC day!
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