Quote from Forum Archives on August 28, 2005, 10:30 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Don't Tempt God"

 

 

An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there was not a God.

 

He said, "God if you are real, then I dare you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"

 

 Ten minutes went by He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am God, I'm still waiting" He got down to the last couple of minutes and a BIG 240 pound football player happened to walk by the door and heard what the professor said. The football player walked in the class room and in the last minute, he walked up, hit the professor full force, and sent him flying off the platform.

 

The professor got up, obviously shaken and said, "Wow, where did you come from and why did you do that?"

 

 The football player replied, "God was busy, so He sent me!"

 

 

"Flock Food"

 

 

A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock,
"For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed five
men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.'"

 

A member of the flock raised his hand and said, "That's not much
of a trick. I could do that."

 

The minister didn't respond. However, the next Sunday he decided
to repeat the text. This time he did it properly, "And they fed
five thousand men with five loaves of bread and two fishes."
Smiling, the minister said to the noisy man,
"Could you do that, Mr. Perkins?"

 

The member of the flock said, "I sure could."

 

"How would you do it?"

 

"With all the food I had left over from last Sunday!"

 

 

"A WEEK OF PRAYERS"

 

 

Monday - Wash Day
"Lord, help me wash away all my selfishness and vanity, so I may serve you with perfect humility through the week ahead."

Tuesday - Ironing Day
"Dear Lord, help me iron out all the wrinkles of prejudice I have collected though the years so that I may see the beauty in others."

Wednesday - Mending Day
"God, help me mend my ways so I will not set a bad example for others."

Thursday - Cleaning Day
"Lord, help me to dust out all the many faults I have been hiding in the secret corners of my heart."

Friday - Shopping Day
"God, give me the grace to shop wisely so I may purchase eternal happiness for myself and all others in need of love."

Saturday - Cooking Day
"Help me, my Savior, to brew a big kettle of brotherly love and serve it with clean, sweet bread of human kindness."

Sunday - The Lord's Day
"God, I have prepared my house for you. Please come into my heart as my honored guest so I may spend the day and the rest of my life in your presence."

 

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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