Ecclesiastes 4:7-12
Posted by: balderman <balderman@...>
Marriage – Bound together with God by God and for God
Ecclesiastes 4:7-12 “I observed yet another example of meaninglessness in our world. This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, "Who am I working for?
This text starts off with a warning about living a meaningless life. A life lived alone and for yourself is seen as meaningless.
We need companionship. We were made to be in a relationship with other people. God desires that we have good friends, accountability partners and a marriage partner.
Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?" It is all so meaningless and depressing.
There is great pleasure in these relationships. We benefit greatly from spending time with and getting to know others.
A life without a spouse, a friend or family is a depressing life indeed.
I am going to focus on the marriage relationship today so the rest of the commentary will be about the relationship of a husband and a wife in the confines of marriage.
Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor.
Marriage take much effort from both sides. Husband and wife must give 110% or they will begin to loose ground.
I know many marriages that are struggling and many that have failed because one spouse thought they were “The Boss” and had full right and authority to dictate and impose their will on the other. Marriage is not the factory or the board room. There is no “CEO” of the family except the Lord Jesus Christ.
Husbands and wives are called to submit to one another and serve one another as Jesus submitted and served us on earth and eventually on the Cross.
The husband does have the responsibility of being the spiritual head of the family, just as Jesus is the Head of the church. Jesus gave His life for the church.
When the two work together under the Lordship of Jesus Christ they get a “better reward” for their effort. 2 are better than 1.
When a man and woman come together in the Will of God they become much more than the sum of their individual parts.
If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble.
We need to support each other, help one another and lift each other up when we fail and fall down.
· Understand that your spouse is not perfect and will goof up from time to time. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
· Be of the same faith, trusting in God for all things.
· Be an encourager, not a destroyer.
· Take time to get to know your spouse better. Spend time together, talk about everything and nothing. Get alone together. Touch one another and rekindle the flame of the romance you once had.
And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?
Do not go to bed angry or make your spouse sleep on the couch because you are fighting. Maybe peace is not possible but a truce is. Reaffirm your love for them, that you are really glad you are together and this issue will be worked out soon.
Remember that you are there for one another. Bring warmth and comfort to your spouse by trying to get closer and closer to them
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.
I think the author of this must have had children! This pastor knew that there would be time when your kids, your work, your friends or any of any number of things would try to divide the two of you and cause friction in your relationship.
Maybe it’s a child who did not get the answer they wanted from Mom, so they went and asked Dad – of course without telling them they had already asked Mom. When Mom finds out she gets mad at Dad for going against her and “here we go”
Stand united. United in faith, united in love, united in God and united against the world. You must stand together or you may fall for anything.
We must fight to keep our family together and centered on Jesus Christ. We are in a battle, but not against each other, or even the school board. We battle agains the powers and principalities of the world . We are in a spiritual battle that will be fought and won in the church, in our home and on our knees.
We fight this battle better together than apart.
Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” (NLT)
We must allow Jesus Christ into our families. All three must be bound together by faith, hope and love. Then our marriage will not be in danger of destruction.
God First
Family second
Then everything else.
12 Keys to a Happy Marriage
1. Faith. Live your faith together. Remember that you, your spouse and God make up the three fold cord of marriage.
2. Submit yourself to one another. Marriage is not a dictatorship – it is a equal partnership under God’s supervision
3. Spend private time together. Just the two of you talking, walking, playing a game or simply going to a movie. Get to know one another in a deeper way.
4. Spend time apart. Taking SOME time to do things that interest you will make you happier, more fulfilled and easier to get along with.
5. Be Spontaneous. Take detours in life. Depart from your “normal” schedule to have fun, excitement and adventure. You will be amazed at the new life your marriage can have with some regular spontaneity.
6. Do not fight in front of other people. Keep your struggles out of the light of public opinion. Seek your pastor or a qualified counselor to help with contentious areas; not your friends.
7. Touch. Touching is important. There is great comfort in simply holding your spouses hand or sitting close to them on the couch.
8. Listen. Actively listen. Turn off the TV, the radio and put down your book. Sit up, lean forward and really listen to what is being said. This is important to them; therefore it is important to you. Talk about everything and nothing. Respect each others comments.
9. Remember the big picture. If your spouse irritates you, before you react ask yourself if this issue will matter in a few hours. If it will not then let it go away on its own. Is this issue worth making a major issue of?
10. Work at it. Marriage is a work in progress. It begins to disintegrate as soon as one thinks they are more important than the other. Marriage is NOT a 50-50 partnership! Real marriage requires a 100% - 100% commitment. When the effort ends so does the marriage.
Love one another just as you love yourself.
Be Excellent To One Another
