Every Marriage Needs a Box-Top
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COLUMN: Fidelity
Every Marriage Needs a Box-Top
by Mike Benson
Those of us who graduated from the sixth grade
long ago can still learn. Read the following and
see if you don't gain some insights:
"Last fall I divided my sixth-grade Sunday-school
class into three groups for an interesting
contest. As my twelve-year-olds gathered in three
circles on the floor, I explained that there was
only one rule in our competition: Each group had
to put together a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle
without talking.
"I poured the contents of the puzzles on the floor
in front of each group, warning them again that
they could not talk. The first group went
immediately to work, promptly setting up the top
of the puzzle box, which gave everyone a clear
view of the picture they were trying to put
together.
"The second group tried to do the same thing, but
they didn't know that I had switched the top of
their puzzle box with the top from another puzzle.
I had deliberately given them the wrong lid. Not
knowing that, they set up their box top to use as
a guide to assemble their puzzle and went swiftly
to work.
"As the third group gathered around the pile of
pieces I had poured on the floor, the kids were
dismayed to discover that I had given them no box
top whatsoever to use as a guide. They started to
protest, but I reminded them that there was to be
no talking!
"What followed was fascinating.
"The members of Group One were somewhat frustrated
by not being allowed to talk, but they still made
steady progress because they had a correct picture
or plan to work from. Everyone in that group got
motivated as the outline of the picture started to
emerge.
"It didn't take the members of Group Two long to
realize something was wrong. They kept trying to
use the box top picture in front of them, but
nothing seemed to work. And since they couldn't
talk together, their frustration level soared.
"One boy waved his hand in the air and acted as
though he was about to burst. I relented and
allowed him to whisper in my ear, 'Mr. Rainey,' he
muttered, 'you gave us the wrong picture. It's the
wrong lid -— it's just not there!'
"I smiled, patted him on his shoulder, and said,
'Shhh, no talking.'
"As I turned away, others in his group looked at
me with pleading eyes, wondering what they could
do. Their puzzle just wasn't coming together.
"But Group Three really captured my attention.
Because the group had no picture at all to go by,
each kid was doing his own thing. There wasn't
even an attempt at teamwork and, of course, there
was no progress.
"Some members just sat individually, randomly
searching for two pieces that seemed to fit. Two
of the boys were so bored they started launching
puzzle pieces like miniature Frisbees across the
room. Others just lay there with their eyes
closed. Hopelessness hung in the air.
"After letting them work a little longer, I called
a halt to the competition and explained what was
going on and then I made my point: you can't live
life without a plan" (Dennis Rainey, "The Master
Plan for Oneness," Lonely Husbands, Lonely Wives,
117-118).
Observations:
1. God has given us a box-top.
And He answered and said to them, "Have you
not read that He who made them at the
beginning 'made them male and female,'" and
said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his
father and mother and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh'? So then,
they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let
not man separate (Matt. 19:4-6; cf. Gen.
2:18, 21-24).
2. Every marriage needs this "guide" (i.e., box-
top) in order to bring order out of chaos (2 Pet.
1:3; cf. 1 Cor. 7:2; 6:13; Heb. 13:4; 1 Thess.
4:3).
3. Husbands and wives can only find true joy,
stability and intimacy when they pattern their
lives after the divine plan (cf. John 10:10; cf.
Eph. 5:22-33; Titus 2:4-5).
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