Quote from Forum Archives on June 21, 2004, 10:58 am

Posted by: bhfbc <bhfbc@...>

FAKE I. D.
June 20, 2004

Text: 1 Thessalonians 2:1-12

A few months ago, reports about the Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles
(BMV) informed citizens of an unfortunate scandal within the
organization. Turns out that some BMV employees were helping others
obtain false identification. Certainly not the right thing to do at any
time, in today’s world it is of a particular concern to think of the
people who might have obtained a fake I.D.

Why would anyone make the effort to obtain fake I.D.? Of all the reasons
I can think of, hardly any are good. Generally speaking, anyone intent on
hiding his or her true identity is up to no good. Either that person is
planning to commit a crime or is hiding after committing a crime. Like I
said, generally speaking, anyone intent on obtaining fake I.D. is
probably up to no good.

Nevertheless, faking something is quite often one of the plots behind
many books and movies. In fact, one recent “reality” show called “Faking
It” imitates a movie entitled Catch Me If You Can. In the film, Leonardo
DiCaprio plays a man who bluffs his way through nearly a dozen
professions, including airline pilot, physician, and banker before being
caught and revealed. That film was actually based on the true story of a
young man who bluffed his way through life, making millions of dollars
along the way. Whatever the role, he slid into it seamlessly and
effortlessly. He was so skilled at faking it that following his capture
he was employed by the FBI to help them uncover other frauds.

The prophet Jeremiah noted that "The heart is deceitful and desperately
wicked. Who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9) It's an important question to
consider on this day when we honor fathers. Being a parent is not
something we should be trying to fake. One family near the breaking point
sat down with their pastor for some heart-to-heart, frank counseling. In
the process of a long afternoon filled with anger and confusion, the
youngest of the three children finally said to her father, "I don't know
you. You come and go; maybe you talk sometimes, but there's something not
here. What is it? Who are you? Do you want to be with us? Do you know
me?"

For this catch-me-if-you-can father, it was an unexpected, frightening
moment of his capture and conviction. The pointed questions of his
youngest child became the turning point of his life; the one that he had
eluded for years while living in the role of father but not really being
fully present to his children, his wife or truly, anyone else. Was
everything perfect after this moment in the family's life? Of course not.
Deep-seated difficulties take honest work over a long time to be healed.
Yet, a significant part of the healing that did occur came when the
father quit "going through the motions" and began to live a real honest
life with his wife and children. When he quit faking it as a parent and
began actually to be authentic, life became much more fulfilling for
everyone. (“Faking It,” Homiletics, vol. 16 no. 3, 2004, p. 57-58)

No Christian should want to fake it through life. When we came to the
point where we confessed Jesus as our Savior and Lord, we accepted a real
I.D. At least, we had the opportunity to accept a true I.D. We are
supposed to be real so that we can live an authentic life in all our
relationships, from family to work to faith with God.

Here is where Scripture comes to our aid. The apostle Paul offers an
alternative to faking our way through life. We who follow his pastoral
advice to the Thessalonians are invited to live "blamelessly" in every
relationship. Look again at verses 9-12. “Surely you remember, brothers,
our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a
burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you. You are a
witness, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were
among you who believed. For you know that we dealt with each of you as a
father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging
you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and
glory.”

Paul uses the word “blameless” to describe how he and the other
missionaries lived among the Thessalonians. “Blameless” is often
misunderstood as a call to perfection. It is actually another way of
saying: Live a life that is real and not false, so that at the end of the
day you have a good conscience. Blameless is the opposite of faking it -
the opposite of obtaining and using a fake I.D. When you pretend to be
someone that you are not, you never have a good conscience because you
are always living a lie.

Paul compares the integrity of his life, and that of his young associate,
Timothy, with that of a father with his children. It is important to note
that Paul chooses an intimate relationship where authenticity and honesty
count the most to describe a "holy, righteous and blameless" life. He
assumed that the relationship of a father with his children would capture
the essence of integrity, truthfulness, and love that he considered to be
the marks of authentic Christian living for everyone.

Naturally, the application found in this portion of Paul’s letter is
directed to every Christian. Since today is Father’s Day, I want to
stress the applications as a father to fathers. It’s not easy to be a
good father, especially in light of today’s cultural expectations. In
fact, many of our children express their expectations themselves. In the
comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes," Calvin approaches his father: "Your new
polls are in, Dad." "Mmm," responds his father. "A vast majority of
household 6 year-olds say you're not living up to their expectations of
fatherhood." "What were their expectations?" inquires his parent. "That
you'd be more like an automatic teller machine." (from “Faking It,”
Homiletics, vol. 16 no. 3, 2004, p. 58)

We don't cut it with our kids all the time. That’s not always a bad
thing. But the difficulties of parenting, or of walking authentically as
Christians, in a world where expectations can be so off-base is no reason
to abandon the effort.

There is a crisis among fathers abandoning their roles in this country,
so Paul's comparison is especially important. Consider the points he
makes here and elsewhere in Scripture. First, a blameless father will
live honestly. Fathers do not lie to their children. In verse 5, Paul
reminded the Christians that they “never used flattery, nor did we put on
a mask to cover up greed.” No father can love his children if he cannot
practice honesty. It eventually catches up with all of us. If we do not
want to talk on the phone, we have to devise a better way than telling
our children, “if it’s for me, tell them I’m not home.” When you try to
deceive others, your children begin to grow up believing you are
deceiving them.

Second, a blameless father will inspire confidence and trust. In verse 4,
Paul writes to the church, “On the contrary, we speak as men approved by
God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but
God, who tests our hearts.” A father is entrusted with many things,
including the gospel. Being trustworthy is an important facet of our life
with both our children and with other Christians. We cannot be constantly
making promises and then disappointing our children by breaking them.
Everyone recognizes that there are situations that arise when we have to
change some plans, but that should be the exception, not the rule. One of
the primary slogans that came from the Promisekeepers men’s discipleship
movement was “men of integrity.” Fathers need to be trustworthy.

Third, a blameless father will have time for his children. In verse 8,
Paul writes concerning the ministry in Thessalonica, “We loved you so
much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God
but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.” One of the
failures of men in modern society has been to neglect their families for
work or pleasure. We all have time demands placed upon us, but we all
also have choices sometime concerning our use of time. I like to catch a
baseball or football game from time to time, but it’s certainly not going
to hurt me to miss one, either, in favor of spending time with my
children. Giving up our desires for that of our children is just one of
the responsibilities of parenthood. Paul taught the importance of sharing
lives with other believers. That spills over into our parental
relationships, too. That’s just the way it is.

Fourth, a blameless father will discipline with love and compassion. We
were talking about this some yesterday in the context of our ministry
with children workshop. Times have changed and discipline has changed. I
observe too often a laxity with dealing with children until the stress
level gets so high that the “dam breaks.” Then with anger out of control,
instead of discipline, abuse occurs. Christians never have the right to
make an excuse that our faith justifies abuse. While I personally do not
rule out a spanking, properly administered, no Christian has the right to
lash out in rage. After all, what does Paul imply in verses 11 and 12 as
the proper relationship between a father and his children? “For you know
that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children,
encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who
calls you into his kingdom and glory.” “Encouraging, comforting, and
urging” are the methods of discipline that Paul directs us to utilize.

Fifth, a blameless father will model the behavior he expects from his
children. Paul expresses this to the Thessalonian Christians in verses
6-7. “We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone
else. As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we
were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.”
Ooops! We’ve reverted to mother’s day now. This applies to father’s as
well. Paul is clear here. The Gospels teach gentleness and caring, so
Paul and the missionaries with him modeled these Christ-like qualities
while they lived among these young Christians. They did not say, “Do as I
say, not as I do.” They lived exactly as they taught, modeling Christ’s
love in their lives. Fathers will exhibit this same quality when trying
to be a blameless father.

Is it unrealistic to strive to be a blameless father? I don’t think so.
It is a challenge. Every father has probably fallen short on several of
these points. But that does not make them unrealistic or impossible. I
doubt that there is a father here who has not challenged his son or
daughter to some new heights of achievement. When facing discouragement,
we counsel our children to strive for more than they think they are
possible of achieving. We do this because we love them and because we
perceive their potential.

Guess what? We are still God’s child. Our heavenly Father counsels us to
strive for more than we think is possible because He loves us and he sees
our potential. He knows our potential, because He has given it to us. So,
no, it is not unrealistic for us to try to be blameless fathers.

Fathers, don’t go in for fake I.D.’s. Our children should count on us to
be real. Remember, although all of these virtues relate to fathers, they
are aspects of a life of integrity for all Christians. Whether in the
home or in the church, all Christians are to strive to be blameless. That
is when we become honest and real. We cannot claim to serve Jesus Christ
as our Master and then live in rebellion to him. That does not work. What
does it mean for us to live a life that is worthy of God? It means living
in the fullness of the one true life that God has given us. It means
giving up the search for a fake I.D. and embracing instead the person we
can be when filled with the Holy Spirit and walking in faith.

Our bottom line is this: no one enjoys a phony. The good news is that no
one needs to be a fake; the real life is the only life that promises a
good conscience and a peaceful heart. God makes the blameless life
possible. Accept Jesus as your Savior and begin your journey to the real
life. “Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked
night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the
gospel of God to you. You are a witness, and so is God, of how holy,
righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. For you know that
we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children,
encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who
calls you into his kingdom and glory.”

Rev. Charles A. Layne, pastor, First Baptist Church, Bunker Hill, IN

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