When a man has judged himself, Satan is put out of office. When he lays anything to a saint’s charge, he is able to retort and say, “It is true, Satan, I am guilty of these sins, but I have judged myself already for them; and having condemned myself in the lower court of conscience, God will acquit me in the upper court of heaven.
Thomas Watson

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Finding Fred

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#1 · March 15, 2000, 2:42 pm

Posted by: <@...>

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor.

"Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door.

"Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."

The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?"

"No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."

When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for
cotton again,?"

"No," the woman answered solemnly, "Fred died yesterday."

Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week
and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor
Fred's tombstone, with this inscription: ... "Gone, But Not for Cotton."

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