Forgiveness - What does it mean to forgive?

#1 · May 1, 2022, 2:45 pm

Quote from Shelley on May 1, 2022, 2:45 pm
FORGIVENESS

Some thoughts rattling around about forgiveness... not much order here, but I need to do some processing...

So whenever you speak, or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law of love, the law that set you free. For there will be no mercy for you if you have not been merciful to others. But if you have been merciful then God's mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you. Jas 2:12-13

...and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us... Matthew 6:12

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. I Jn 1:9

Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"
"No!" Jesus replied, "Seventy times seven!" Mt 18:21-22

If the person truly repented, then they would change their ways and not need forgiven that many times, but this is what He said...

I believe there is something so powerful in forgiveness that we don't even have a clue. What does it even mean? Does it mean, oh that's ok and no one even thinks of it again? Does it require the offender to be sorry for what they have done? Does it mean that I'll pretend it's ok but I am not going to put myself in a position to be hurt by you again? What is it really about? What kind of forgiveness do I expect from God? Am I willing to offer the same kind of forgiveness that God offers? He not only forgives but He had to sacrifice His Son for us to be forgiven. Now THAT'S amazing. I can't answer all of these questions, but here's some thoughts.

My mom told me today about a discussion her Bible study was having about forgiveness. The leader asked if there was anything that someone could NOT forgive. A quick answer was given - "if someone killed my child." Believe me, I hope I never have to find out if I could forgive in this case. It becomes obvious to me that that is exactly what God has had to do to forgive us - His son Jesus had to die because of us. He has the hardest case anyone could think of. So we can't possibly think we have more to forgive others than God does for us...

I think that when God forgives us, that is a restoration of the relationship between us, and it can only happen because HE made the effort by providing the blood of Jesus. It cost Him something. If we are to forgive it costs us something too. We have to give up our "right" to get paid back for whatever was done to us. We have to forget the phrase "It's payback time..." If someone offends me, I want to make them "pay" for what they have done. It's a natural response. A supernatural (only through God can we do this) response is for me to sacrifice so that the other can be forgiven.

The Bible talks about requiring us to forgive in order to be forgiven. I have confessed that I am a sinner who is relying totally on Jesus' blood and the grace of God. Each time I sin, sometimes I am aware of it, and sometimes I am not, and sometimes it is such a habit that even though I might know it is wrong, I am hardened even to the fact that it is sin. I have confessed many sins, and I am sure that there are even more that I have not confessed, but I am relying on God's love and mercy to cover. Do I treat others that way?

When my husband doesn't spend as much time with me as I want, do I get resentful, or do I forgive him and try to work things out? I am sure God wants more time with me than I give Him, and I depend on Him not being annoyed with me when I do decide to talk to Him.

When I do forgive, am I willing to leave it in the past? It says that God remembers our sin no more - I don't think that is the same as forgetting. I think God CHOOSES to remember it no more. If you're in a fight with your spouse, it feels like a great weapon to throw past mistakes in their faces. Can we choose to not remember them?

I want to always think the best of someone. If someone offends me, even when it hurts, I want to assume the best, and hope that there is some reason I don't understand, or even that it was a misunderstanding. Or just be patient enough to think that that person is having a hard time, and just vented on me.

However, I know that many times what they are doing IS wrong, and I need to allow God to deal with vengeance. It is not our job to punish the person for what they have done. That means giving it fully to God, the hurt, the pain, the emotions and all.

I get confused with forgiveness and still having consequences. We don't suffer the eternal consequences that we deserve which would be eternal separation from the Father , but we still do have consequences.

If it is necessary, it is good to set up appropriate boundaries, but having the best interest of all in mind. It isn't helpful to a murderer to be allowed to be free to go and murder more. It isn't healthy for a child abuser to be allowed access to children. It isn't healthy for a boss to allow an employee to keep stealing from the company. If someone gossips about you, it isn't healthy for you to tell them things that should be confidential. But it isn't for you to gossip about them either, and it is not healthy for you to become bitter and stay angry about it.

God forgives us but then he CLEANSES us from all unrighteousness. He doesn't just let it all go, but he works for our good. When we are disobedient, He works in us to draw us back to Him. He uses what we learn from some of our mistakes to make us all the more passionate about obeying the next time.

Seventy times seven... sounds like "to infinity and beyond!"

So when I think about all of this, jumbled as it may seem, I have to ask myself if I have forgiven others as He has forgiven me? For me the answer is a resounding NO. I have dabbled in forgiving sometimes, but I have my situations where I have not let go, where I am resentful but have not dealt with it, where I have let bitterness remain in my heart. I have walls built around my heart to protect me from pain others have inflicted on me in the past, unwilling to trust God to protect me. I don't like feeling vulnerable when I let the walls down a little bit, but I am finding that as scary as it is, allowing God to soften my heart and remove some of those walls has brought more freedom than I could ever imagine. And I've only just begun, there is so much more work for Him to do in me!! So I will pray, Lord, teach me to trust You, and to forgive like you do. Break the chains of unforgiveness, and lead me on a path of utter dependence on YOU. Thank you for Your forgiveness!!

FORGIVENESS

Some thoughts rattling around about forgiveness... not much order here, but I need to do some processing...

So whenever you speak, or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law of love, the law that set you free. For there will be no mercy for you if you have not been merciful to others. But if you have been merciful then God's mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you. Jas 2:12-13

...and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us... Matthew 6:12

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. I Jn 1:9

Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"
"No!" Jesus replied, "Seventy times seven!" Mt 18:21-22

If the person truly repented, then they would change their ways and not need forgiven that many times, but this is what He said...

I believe there is something so powerful in forgiveness that we don't even have a clue. What does it even mean? Does it mean, oh that's ok and no one even thinks of it again? Does it require the offender to be sorry for what they have done? Does it mean that I'll pretend it's ok but I am not going to put myself in a position to be hurt by you again? What is it really about? What kind of forgiveness do I expect from God? Am I willing to offer the same kind of forgiveness that God offers? He not only forgives but He had to sacrifice His Son for us to be forgiven. Now THAT'S amazing. I can't answer all of these questions, but here's some thoughts.

My mom told me today about a discussion her Bible study was having about forgiveness. The leader asked if there was anything that someone could NOT forgive. A quick answer was given - "if someone killed my child." Believe me, I hope I never have to find out if I could forgive in this case. It becomes obvious to me that that is exactly what God has had to do to forgive us - His son Jesus had to die because of us. He has the hardest case anyone could think of. So we can't possibly think we have more to forgive others than God does for us...

I think that when God forgives us, that is a restoration of the relationship between us, and it can only happen because HE made the effort by providing the blood of Jesus. It cost Him something. If we are to forgive it costs us something too. We have to give up our "right" to get paid back for whatever was done to us. We have to forget the phrase "It's payback time..." If someone offends me, I want to make them "pay" for what they have done. It's a natural response. A supernatural (only through God can we do this) response is for me to sacrifice so that the other can be forgiven.

The Bible talks about requiring us to forgive in order to be forgiven. I have confessed that I am a sinner who is relying totally on Jesus' blood and the grace of God. Each time I sin, sometimes I am aware of it, and sometimes I am not, and sometimes it is such a habit that even though I might know it is wrong, I am hardened even to the fact that it is sin. I have confessed many sins, and I am sure that there are even more that I have not confessed, but I am relying on God's love and mercy to cover. Do I treat others that way?

When my husband doesn't spend as much time with me as I want, do I get resentful, or do I forgive him and try to work things out? I am sure God wants more time with me than I give Him, and I depend on Him not being annoyed with me when I do decide to talk to Him.

When I do forgive, am I willing to leave it in the past? It says that God remembers our sin no more - I don't think that is the same as forgetting. I think God CHOOSES to remember it no more. If you're in a fight with your spouse, it feels like a great weapon to throw past mistakes in their faces. Can we choose to not remember them?

I want to always think the best of someone. If someone offends me, even when it hurts, I want to assume the best, and hope that there is some reason I don't understand, or even that it was a misunderstanding. Or just be patient enough to think that that person is having a hard time, and just vented on me.

However, I know that many times what they are doing IS wrong, and I need to allow God to deal with vengeance. It is not our job to punish the person for what they have done. That means giving it fully to God, the hurt, the pain, the emotions and all.

I get confused with forgiveness and still having consequences. We don't suffer the eternal consequences that we deserve which would be eternal separation from the Father , but we still do have consequences.

If it is necessary, it is good to set up appropriate boundaries, but having the best interest of all in mind. It isn't helpful to a murderer to be allowed to be free to go and murder more. It isn't healthy for a child abuser to be allowed access to children. It isn't healthy for a boss to allow an employee to keep stealing from the company. If someone gossips about you, it isn't healthy for you to tell them things that should be confidential. But it isn't for you to gossip about them either, and it is not healthy for you to become bitter and stay angry about it.

God forgives us but then he CLEANSES us from all unrighteousness. He doesn't just let it all go, but he works for our good. When we are disobedient, He works in us to draw us back to Him. He uses what we learn from some of our mistakes to make us all the more passionate about obeying the next time.

Seventy times seven... sounds like "to infinity and beyond!"

So when I think about all of this, jumbled as it may seem, I have to ask myself if I have forgiven others as He has forgiven me? For me the answer is a resounding NO. I have dabbled in forgiving sometimes, but I have my situations where I have not let go, where I am resentful but have not dealt with it, where I have let bitterness remain in my heart. I have walls built around my heart to protect me from pain others have inflicted on me in the past, unwilling to trust God to protect me. I don't like feeling vulnerable when I let the walls down a little bit, but I am finding that as scary as it is, allowing God to soften my heart and remove some of those walls has brought more freedom than I could ever imagine. And I've only just begun, there is so much more work for Him to do in me!! So I will pray, Lord, teach me to trust You, and to forgive like you do. Break the chains of unforgiveness, and lead me on a path of utter dependence on YOU. Thank you for Your forgiveness!!