Funnies and some good stuff
Posted by: root <root@...>
say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his
thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator
leftovers.
"I don't know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that
we've blessed all this stuff before."
The words "The Gate of Heaven" were inscribed over the
big doors of an old church. Just underneath it was a
cardboard sign hanging on a string with letters crudely
written that read:
"Please use other entrance."
Sign on an American Red Cross building in Minnesota:
"Before going on vacation, donate blood. Mosquitoes
don't give coffee and donuts. We do."
--FEATURED FUNNY: HOW TO GET 100 PERCENT PARTICIPATION:
From a church bulletin:
A family-type film, suitable for both children and
parents, will be shown at the Sunday evening service
at 6:00 p.m. Free puppies will be given to all children
not accompanied by a parent.
It seems a group of geography students were studying the
Seven Wonders of the World." At the end of their course,
they were asked to list what they each considered to be
the Seven Wonders of the Modern World.
These got the most votes:
1. The Grand Canyon
2. The Empire State Building
3. The Great Wall of China
4. The Pyramids of Egypt
5. The Taj Mahal
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. The Panama Canal
As the teacher was going over the results, he noticed
that one girl had not turned in her paper. He asked if
she was having trouble with her list, she responded,
"Yes. I can't make up my mind because there seem to be
so many." The teacher said, "Let me help. Read what
you've got so far."
The girl hesitantly started to read, "I think the Seven
Wonders of the World are:
1. to touch
2. to taste
3. to see
4. to hear
5. to run
6. to laugh
7. to love
Do we take more notice of the "wonders" man has built and
tend to forget about the real wonders that God has given
us? Yes, sometimes. They may seem just ordinary to us,
and we need to be reminded, as the student has done, of
how truly wondrous they are.
"Even a woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head."
I'm sure you've probably heard this one by now, but just
in case you missed it...
A zoo attendant, passing by the primate area one day,
noticed a chimpanzee sitting on a rock with an open book
in either hand, looking first at one and then at the other.
He sees that the books are: the Bible, and Darwin's
"Origin of Species".
He asks the chimp, "Hey, what's with the two books?"
The chimp replies, "Well, I was just trying to decide
if I'm my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother."
(Oh, brother!)