Quote from Forum Archives on April 11, 2002, 9:06 pm

Posted by: revkbrown <revkbrown@...>

 

 

Important Recall Notice

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and
central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original
prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of
the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal
Non-morality," or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms:

Loss of direction
Foul vocal emissions
Amnesia of origin
Lack of peace and joy
Selfish, or violent behavior
Depression or confusion in the mental component
Fearfulness
Idolatry
Rebellion

The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is
providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct
this SIN defect.  The Repair Technician, the Lord Jesus Christ, has most
generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these
repairs.

There is no additional fee required. The toll free number to call for repair
anytime day or night in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.  Once connected, please
upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.  Next, download
ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.  No
matter how big or small the SIN defect is, the Lord Jesus will replace it
with:

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-control

Please see operating manual, entitled HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the
use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the manufacturer has made available
to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance
from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is
available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days per year.

Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent
residence on the premises!

WARNING:  Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction
voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems
too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently
impounded.  For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

DANGER:  The human being units not responding to this recall action will
have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to
enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination
of that facility.

Thank you for your attention.  Please assist where possible by notifying
others of this important recall notice.