What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness, first and fundamentally, is a promise. When you grant forgiveness to someone, you're making a promise to that person which involves the following three things: 1. You're promising not to bring up the offense again to the forgiven person in the future. 2. You're promising not to speak to others about the offense. 3. You're promising not to dwell on the offense yourself.