Happy Canada Day 2003
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
To All Our Fellow Canadians!
We hope you enjoy the day with family and friends and remember what a great country we have!
Happy Canada Day Everyone!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~**~ New Preacher ~**~
A newly appointed young preacher was contacted by
the local funeral director to hold a graveside service
at a small country cemetery.
There was to be no funeral, just the committal, because
the deceased had no family or friends left. The young
pastor started early to the cemetery, but soon lost his
way.
After making several wrong turns, he finally arrived a
half-hour late. The hearse was no where in sight, and the
workman were relaxing under a nearby tree, eating their
lunch. The pastor went to the open grave and found that
the vault lid was already in place. He took out his book
and read the service.
As he returned to his car, he overheard one of the workman
say, "Maybe we'd better tell him that's a septic tank."
~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~
~**~ Phone Call ~**~
A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about
churches around the country. He started by flying to
San Francisco, and started working east from there.
Going to a very large church, he began taking
photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden
telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with
a sign which read "$10,000 a minute."
Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone. The
pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a
direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can
talk directly to God.
The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.
As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Austin,
Green Bay, Chicago, Milwaukee, and all around the
United States, he found more phones, with the same
sign, and got the same answer from each pastor.
Finally, he arrived in Sarnia, Ontario. Upon entering
a church in this southern area of Ontario, behold, he saw
the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign
read "Calls: 25 cents.
Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor.
"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the
country including Canada and in each church, I have found this golden
telephone and have been told it is a direct line to
Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other
churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign
reads 25 cents a call. Why?"
The pastor, smiling, replied, "Son, you're in Ontario now. This is God's country...it's a local call."
~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~
~**~ Getting Married ~**~
Six-year-old Little Johnny told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street.
The father being modern and well-schooled in handling
children, hid his smile behind his hand.
"That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?"
"Sure," Little Johnny answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get lonely in the night."
"How about transportation?" the father asked.
"I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," Little Johnny answered.
The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.
Finally, in exasperation, the man asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know."
"We've thought about that, too," Little Johnny replied."We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it."
~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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