Happy New Years Friday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
To An End And The
New Year Begins.
Let Us Pray That It
Will Be A Year With
New Peace,
New Understanding,
New Happiness,
And An
Abundance Of New Friends.
GOD Bless
&
Happy New Year
Dave and Barbara
***********************
"Collect Call"
My mother was away all weekend at a business
conference.
During a break, she decided to call home collect.
My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard
a
stranger's voice say, "We have a Marcia on the line.
Will
you accept the charges?"
Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging
outside
screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want
money!"
**************************
"Phone Solicitors"
What to say to phone solicitors who call to sell you
credit
cards, vacation packages, etc.:
The police photographer is still here, and the county
medical examiner hasn't released the body to the
coroner
yet. Can you call back a little later?
What's that you say? Speak up, please, will you? The
battery
has run down on my hearing aid. Louder, please,
louder. Is
that the best you can do? I'm afraid we're just not
communicating.
I'm gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any
minute now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of
it.
Sorry, gotta hurry now, don't go away.
Oh, it's you again. I was hoping you'd call back. The
better
business people said I need more positive
identification to
file my complaint. Now first let me have your name
and
telephone number.
***********************
"Short Chips"
A young couple invited their pastor for Sunday dinner.
While they were
in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked
their son what
they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are
you sure about
that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom,
'Might as well have
the old goat for dinner today as any other day."
-----------------------
A flight attendant for a major airline, watched one
day as a passenger
hopelessly overloaded with bags tried to stuff his
belongings in the
overhead bin of the plane. Finally, she informed him
that he would have
to check the oversized luggage. "When I fly other
airlines," he said
irritably, "I never have this problem." She smiled and
said, "Sir, when
you fly other airlines, I don't have this problem
either."
---------------------------
A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became
thirsty so decided
to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to
drink. The lady of
the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup
by the fire.
There was a wee pig running around the kitchen,
running up to the
visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The
visitor commented
that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The
housewife replied: "Ah,
he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."
***********************
Have a Blessed Weekend
Happy New Years
Dave and Barbara
The book is closed,
The year is done,
The pages full
Of tasks begun.
A little joy,
A little care,
Along with dreams,
Are written there.
This new day brings
Another year,
Renewing hope,
Dispelling fear.
And we may find
Before the end,
A deep content,
Another friend.
__________________________________________________
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