Quote from Forum Archives on July 5, 2001, 10:36 am

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

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THE HOPE CHEST: Ideas and Inspiration for Home Education
Issue #42 part 1 / July 2001
Tackling the Trouble Spots
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WELCOME TO THE HOPE CHEST!

The Hope Chest Home School News is a free bi-monthly e-mail
newsletter with encouragement and practical teaching tips. The
editor is Virginia Knowles, wife of Thad, and mother of eight,
ages baby to teen. Virginia is also author of The Real Life
Home School Mom, The Best of the Hope Chest Volumes 1, 2
and 3, and the designer of the Learner’s Journal. (Ordering
information is at the end of the newsletter for these resources
and several by Cindy Rushton.)

If you like this newsletter, please forward it to your friends!
THANKS!!

Hope Chest contact information:
Web page:
www.hopechest.homestead.com/welcome.html
Personal e-mail: [email protected]
Subscription address: [email protected]
Unsubscription address:
[email protected]
To change address, unsubscribe from your old address and
subscribe from your new address.

This newsletter is currently sent out in a few parts per issue.
This is part 1 of 3.

The response to my recent special messages on depression
has been voluminous! Thank you for trusting enough to share
your heart with me on this topic. It’s going to take me a little
while to respond to each one, so thanks for your patience too. I
hope to have the Nurturing Naomi tapes sent out by tomorrow.
A reader sent in this quote: "When you are DOWN to
nothing....God is UP to something." Why don’t we be part of
that “something” as we reach out with compassion, wisdom,
and mercy!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part 1

FROM MY HEART TO YOURS: LESSONS FROM THE Y
by Virginia Knowles
TACKLING THE TROUBLE SPOTS by Virginia Knowles
DIGGING DEEPER: Educational Wisdom from Proverbs

Part 2
HELPING YOUR RELUCTANT WRITER by Virginia Knowles
A MATH SUCCESS STORY by Barb Dell
THE BENEFITS OF BOWLING by Michelle Demarest
IDEAS FOR SUMMER AND WRITING by Marybeth Whalen
A PORTFOLIO FOR MOM by Angie Payne
DOWN SYNDROME WEB SITE by Priscilla Kendrick

Part 3
WHAT’S UP IN THE NEXT ISSUE?
ON OUR HOMEFRONT: What’s New at the Knowles House?
by Virginia Knowles
RESOURCE ORDERING INFORMATION
REPRINT PERMISSION

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FROM MY HEART TO YOURS:
Lessons from the Y
by Virginia Knowles
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A few years ago, in the issue on health and physical fitness, I
mentioned that I’d been using the treadmill at the Downtown
Orlando YMCA, where my husband is the building manager.
Shortly after that, I fell OFF the treadmill while trying to grab my
Walkman! When I found out I was pregnant shortly thereafter, I
decided not to take the risk anymore. And so... two
pregnancies and nearly three years have gone by, I am quite
out of shape, overweight, and greatly in need of EXERCISE!

It’s pretty hard for me to carve time out of my schedule during
the school year, so it’s been one of my summer goals to get
down to the Winter Park Y, which is closer to our house. I
recently ventured into the cardio room, where they have all the
fancy electronic machines. With a little logistical help from the
friendly Wellness Director, Yvonne, I spent several minutes on
the ab machine and another 18 on the treadmill. I am looking
forward to attending a free hour long one-on-one personal
training session soon. I also picked up the class schedules and
decided to try out some of the different fitness classes. So a
few days later, I arrived in time for a Step Aerobics class, and
with some trepidation, poked my head through the Fitnasium
door. I watched as the other class members set up their step
equipment and hand weights, and I tried, with some fumbling,
to do the same. I’m usually a pretty confident person, but that
day I felt like the new kid on the block. I was out of my territory
and certainly out of my comfort zone. In other words, I was
clueless! And the music hadn’t even started! YOW! I took a
little hope from the fact that the instructor assured us that the
routines were “nothing fancy” but she must have been pulling
my leg! This lady chirped out her commands faster than my
brain could possibly process them. And, verbal speed aside,
there was NO WAY I could hop, tap, kick, step and bend as
fast as she could. I did eventually catch on to a few of the
sequences, but I still found myself skipping a lot of the stuff
because they were five steps ahead of me. When I couldn't
figure out what specifically I needed to do, I just kept moving. I
guess that was the whole point anyway. I ended up leaving
after half of the hour long class. I told myself it was because I
needed to get back home to my children, but unless I can find
an easier class that doesn’t operate at warp speed, it’s back to
the treadmill for me!

Being in that step aerobics class gave me a little bit of empathy
for children. It struck me that when we are learning new skills it
is vital that there be a low teacher-student ratio and a
reasonable, flexible pace. We need personal coaching and
feedback. We need the time to try out the new skill without
being rushed by those who already know it or held back by
those who haven’t caught on as well as we have. We need
someone to patiently explain what we did wrong and how to do
it better next time. If I stayed in that class, I might eventually
learn the routines because they do pretty much the same ones
every week. However, if I had to learn the skills as she was
teaching them the first time in order to move on to more difficult
level, I would never catch up. Contrast this with the cardio room
at the Y, where the personal trainer comes alongside and
explains things patiently. She shows you which machines are
best for what your own body needs. She tells you how to adjust
the speed or monitor your progress on the treadmill display.
She reminds you to hold on and not lose your balance if you
have to scratch your leg! You can choose which machines to
use and how many reps to do. It’s an entirely different exercise
atmosphere, where the only pressure is that which you exert on
yourself.

I thought about this from a child's point of view. Imagine sitting
in a classroom with 20 (or more!) other children while the
teacher is trying to explain some complicated new math
concept. You don’t understand, but she has to keep moving. If
you are lucky, you might snag her attention for a few minutes to
ask for extra help, but if not, you just wallow along, trying to
keep your head above water. If you are not extremely
motivated to learn, you just give up. If the course is
mandatory, that means trouble! You get labeled with a learning
disorder, sent to remedial education and made to feel dumb.
Or you just fall through the cracks. I’m not criticizing classroom
teachers at all. In my opinion, they are overworked and
underpaid. In the government system, it’s considered cost
efficient to teach a whole bunch of people at the same time.
Unfortunately, it’s not as effective for the child, who is the whole
reason that “education” is happening anyway. For optimal
learning, we need more of a tutorial system!

That’s where home schooling comes in, whether it is the sole
source of the child’s education or a supplement to a classroom
setting. It’s NOT particularly “efficient” for parents. After all, I
can think of lots of things I could do with my time rather than
explaining capital letters or long division over and over again to
one or two children at a time. But I have willingly chosen to
make the sacrifice and INVEST MYSELF in my children to give
them that personal attention that they need.

However, home-based education does not need to be
home-bound education. There can also be a place for group
instruction in the overall program, moreso the older they get.
(My own children have participated in art, choir, theater, sports,
Spanish, sewing, and other classes over the years. My
teenage daughter will be taking classes on Mondays in a
classical Christian program for 9th grade.) Ideally, before
enrolling for a group class, the student should show a basic
aptitude and desire for learning the subjects, as well as enough
social and spiritual maturity to function among peers and
non-parental authority figures. There also should be enough
time allowed for group discussion, questions and answers,
feedback on progress, and extra assistance from the teacher
and even other students. Obviously, the teacher has to be the
patient type who cares just as much about the students as the
material being taught. And it almost goes without saying that
parents should be able to trust a teacher with their children. In
doing so, we also express our trust in a God who keeps our
children in his care, wherever they are. That does not minimize
our responsibility toward them. We don’t want to tempt fate, or
throw our precious pearls before swine, but we do learn to let
go, bit by bit, as they move in fits and starts toward adulthood.

We, as parents, are responsible for launching our children into
lifelong learning, by the best means we can find for each child,
each year, each subject. That may include private tutoring by
parents (or others), independent study, or group classes.
Thank God for the tremendous opportunities offered by
home-based education!

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TACKLING THE TROUBLE SPOTS
by Virginia Knowles
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[This article was originally part of the previous one, but it got a
bit unwieldy!]

Right now I want to address several kinds of challenges which
demand extra focus by parents, regardless of where their
children are being educated.

1. THE STRUGGLING CHILD. This is the one who is trying,
but just not getting the hang of it. You can choose to stick with
your child as long as necessary to get the job done. This takes
endurance and understanding, even in a one-on-one
arrangement. I can’t count how many times I have introduced
a new concept or handed out an “independent” lesson, and
then expected my child to understand it instantly. It's enough to
make her head spin, yet here I am saying, "Just why don't you
GET this?!?" when she hasn’t ever done it before. Maybe we
rush them because we want to finish the workbook by the end
of the year, but we are not a slave to the curriculum. Or maybe
we rush them because we have other things to do -- a house
full of people and dishes and dirty laundry that need our care.
Try to boost your household efficiency, but your child’s
education and training are not the places to cut corners. Their
need for repetition and continued practice is not a sign of
failure. Teaching just takes time. Slow and steady wins the
race. When you have a child who is doing poorly, you will
need to be extra sure to grade work promptly so you can catch
mistakes before they become ingrained. You can find out the
learning style that most fits each child, and try something
different, something new, something interesting, something that
clicks. If you don’t understand the material and can’t get up to
speed with it pretty quickly, perhaps you could hire a private
tutor.

2. THE LAZY CHILD. The complacent underachiever needs
constant supervision to keep him on task and out of trouble.
He might be intelligent, but if he isn’t also diligent, he’s totally
wasting his potential. A motivated student, excited about
learning, can virtually teach himself a lion’s share of academic
material, but the lazy one tries to squeak by with the bare
minimum of quantity and quality. If this tendency goes
unchallenged, because it seems to take too much of your
emotional effort, you can predict trouble in college, career and
family life. It’s easy to let this child slip through your fingers, but
you care about his future, don’t you? I’ve said that we shouldn’t
RUSH our children, but some of them need a good strong
PUSH to get them moving at all. They need goals and
assignments. If they have a “say” in forming these, they will be
more interested in fulfilling them. They also need an honest
evaluation of their efforts and accomplishments. Maybe they
even need to reward to work toward. Most of all they need us to
a good example as we balance our own lives with work, play
and rest. Teach them about the busy bee and the hardworking
ant!

3. THE FEARFUL CHILD. Some children may seem lazy
when they are actually afraid. If they try, they might fail, so they
don’t try at all. When your child lacks the confidence to do
something, you can be the private cheerleader and coach. At
home, they don’t have to face the specter of public humiliation.
Of course this means that YOU must avoid comparing them
with others, and try to teach their siblings to be kind, too. You
can break down the task into such small bites that little
successes build up their can-do quotient. You can give them
ample time for private, independent study, especially about
topics which personally interest them. You can let them know
that making a mistake is OK! A “failure” is actually just an
opportunity to learn a new thing for the next time you face the
same situation.

4. THE DISTRACTIBLE CHILD: Perhaps your child is easily
distracted. Some children react to sensory overload by letting
their minds flit aimlessly like butterflies from one thing to
another. Others get headaches or feel like they are going to
explode with frustration. Minimize the noise of TV, radios,
computer games, and chattering siblings. Prevent unnecessary
interruptions by using a phone answering machine, preparing
ahead of time for recurring problems, and teaching family
members to be considerate. (That one is the hardest.)
Declare war on the household clutter that throws brain cells into
a frenzy of disorder. If your child can work fairly well by himself,
choose a quiet well-organized study area where he can easily
find and put away his supplies and assignments. If you don’t
have a spot like this, and your child needs to roam the house to
find the most peaceful place of the moment, a portable book
bin and a lap desk might be helpful. Some distractible (“hyper”)
children need regular opportunities to go out and run around to
get the wiggles out. They also need SHORT lessons with a
change of pace every 15 minutes or so. No marathon study
sessions for them!

5. THE PERSNICKETY CHILD. This one can be the most
frustrating! In this case, the child is fully capable of doing the
work, but refuses to cooperate because of a poor relationship
with the teacher -- in home school, this usually means Mom.
In my opinion, he needs two things: a rebuilt relationship and a
respect for authority -- in that order! It’s been said that people
don’t care how much you know until they know how much you
care. Lay aside the academics for a little while -- you’re not
going to make much progress right now anyway. Do fun things
together. Sit and talk. Try to iron out any recurring or hidden
conflicts. Show affection. Make a favorite meal. Find
something to praise. Watch your tone of voice when you are
giving instructions and correction. Include your child in
decisions about curriculum. When you build rapport with your
child, it will be much easier to work on basic
respect-for-authority issues.

>From personal experience, I know that these challenges can
evoke such frustration that you are tempted to give up. But in
each of these situations, home schooling can be a huge
benefit, even from a strictly academic standpoint! Add in the
opportunity to shape our children’s character, teach a faith-filled
world view, and build strong relationships with them, and we’ve
got something to treasure for a lifetime!

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DIGGING DEEPER: Educational Wisdom from Proverbs
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“My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands
within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart
to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for
understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for
it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of
the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives
wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and
understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a
shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the
course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.
Then you will understand what is right and just and fair--every
good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will
be pleasant to your soul. Proverbs 2:1-10