Quote from Forum Archives on August 11, 2001, 10:21 am

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

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THE HOPE CHEST: Ideas and Inspiration for Home Education
Issue #43 part 3 / August 11, 2001
Character Counts!
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WELCOME TO THE HOPE CHEST!

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This is part 3 of 5 for this issue.

THE GOAL OF OUR INSTRUCTION
Homeschooling that Aims for the Heart.
By Bonnie Schooler
CHARACTER CASE STUDIES
by Tonya Travelstead
THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING IS IN THE HEART
by Lisa Easterling
CHARACTER BUILDING by Wanda Carlton

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THE GOAL OF OUR INSTRUCTION
Homeschooling that Aims for the Heart.
By Bonnie Schooler
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When I began homeschooling 7 years ago, I had one school aged
child. Hannah had attended Kindergarten at our church’s private
school, but with the birth of our third child, we felt the time was
right for me to make the move from full-time employment to
full-time mom.

Oh, the aspirations I had for her education! Hannah was a very
bright little girl. She learned quickly, and my most difficult
challenge seemed to be keeping HER challenged! A few years
later, Luke began schooling, followed soon afterward by Rebekah.
Teaching three at a time was a bit of an adjustment for me, but
we managed. However, school was not always the blissful family
time that I’d hoped it would be. While I started each day with high
hopes, many times our days would deteriorate until those hopes
were drowned in a sea of “I hate Math!” or “Mom, he‘s making too
much noise” or “Would you PLEASE make Bekah stop singing!”
or “I’m hungry! Can we take a break?” Many days I found myself
frustrated by the amount of petty bickering that went on between
my children, and, I must confess, between my children and ME.
This was NOT what I wanted for my family -- this wasn’t what I
signed on for when I began homeschooling.

Midway through last school year, God began impressing on me
that what my children needed -- and indeed what MOST children
needed - was training in Godly character. I wanted my children to
stand out in a crowd --- not because of academic ability or
appearance----- but because of their Godly, virtuous character.
God began to plant that desire in my heart so strongly that it
began to surpass the academic concerns that had predominated
most of our first six years of homeschooling.

At that time, we were involved in a one day a week co-op with
another family. We were studying the Oregon Trail. I began to
look for a way to incorporate teaching Godly character along with
the Oregon Trail information. I talked with my friend, Tammy, who
is the other half of our co-op teaching team. Together, we divided
up the Oregon Trail information and paired each lesson with a
corresponding character trait that would have been essential for
the pioneers to possess. Each week, we studied the trait and
many times we had a hands-on exercise to drive the point home.
With God’s help, the study fell together very naturally, and we
began to see a difference in the way our children behaved toward
one another. Mind you, the change was not instantaneous, nor
was it complete and perfect, but there was a change.

One of the first character traits we studied was “Cooperation.”
We discussed the trait, read scriptures pertaining to the trait, then
we went upstairs for lunch. At the lunch table, we explained that
their lunch was actually going to be an exercise in cooperation. I
showed them a delicious dirt cake, complete with gummy worms
(4 out of our 6 students are boys!) I further explained that the
cake was to be a reward for their demonstration of cooperation in
eating lunch. Tammy and I then proceeded to tie their wrists
together with the person adjoining them on either side, so that
when we finished, we had a complete circle of kids with their
wrists joined to one another. I told them they would be eating
their lunch in this manner, and that they would need to cooperate
with one another to be able to eat successfully. They were not
allowed to argue, or push and pull, or complain, as these things
do not embody cooperation. They would need to work together,
giving and taking, in order to successfully eat and win the dirt
cake as a dessert. Our kids are still talking about that day --- and
they saw an excellent picture of what cooperation really is. It was
not easy, but they did it, and they won the associated prize.

Our Oregon Trail study was wonderful, and I think I’ll always have
a special place in my heart for it, but I began to realize that God
was planting in my heart much more than a unit of study. As I
began praying and pondering over next year’s curriculum, I felt a
pull to center our studies much more around God’s word, and His
instructions for daily living. Wisdom begins with the Bible -- why is
it that we feel we must always seek elsewhere to raise wise
children?

At the same time, I asked my oldest child, Hannah, who was
entering the 7th grade, if she had any thoughts about what she’d
like to study the following year. Her answer set me on my heels:
“I want to study each subject as it relates to the Bible.” God was
speaking the same thing into her heart that He was into mine, and
he used her to confirm His plan for our homeschool’s direction.

Next, I attended our area homeschool conference, where I was
scheduled to teach a seminar on using the Internet to enhance
homeschool curriculum. In many of the seminars, the same
message prevailed -- if we don’t aim for the heart of our children
in our homeschooling efforts, we are sadly missing the core of
God’s calling for homeschoolers. If we truly want to raise children
who will impact the world for Christ, we have to change our focus.
We have to stop worrying about how our kids will score on their
ACT’s, stop trying to impress our relatives and friends with the
fact that Johnny can not only read, but he can read LATIN -- and
he’s only 12!

We need to zero in on what really matters. Everything our
children will become hinges on one thing: What will they do with
Jesus Christ, and His Word? God’s word has a lot to say about
teaching children. (And by the way --- the instructions are
directed to PARENTS --- not the school system, not the
community, and NOT the government!) In Deuteronomy, we find
one of the most often quoted scriptures on teaching our children:

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 ----And you shall love the Lord your God with
all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And
these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your
heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall
talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the
way and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall
bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on
your forehead. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your
house and on your gates.

Later in the same book, God repeats the message, this time
attaching a promise to the instruction:

Deuteronomy 11:18-21 ---- You shall therefore impress these
words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind
them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your
forehead. And you shall teach them to your sons, talking of them
when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and
when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall write them
on the doorposts of your house and on your gates so that your
days and the days of your sons may be multiplied on the land
which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the
heavens remain above the earth.

Godly Character can’t be taught in a 20-minute morning
devotional before you start your “real” schoolwork. It has to be the
central focus of everything we do. We have to talk about God’s
word and His teachings every morning, every night, in the car on
the way to gymnastics class, while we’re taking a walk. And
here’s the challenging part -- We have to LIVE it before our
children! If you’re like me, I’m sure you can see all kinds of flaws
in your own character --- all kinds of areas where you could be
more like Christ. Don’t let that bring condemnation --- let it bring
encouragement to your children -- because guess what?
---They’re not perfect either!! If you’re honest with them about
your shortcomings, (don’t be scared --- they can see them
anyway!) you’re teaching them that you don’t have to be perfect
to serve God, you just have to WANT to be more like Him, and
you have to give yourself, AND all your imperfections, over to Him
and allow Him to work in your life.

God’s word also gives instructions to children on what to do with
their parents’ teaching:

Proverbs 1:8 --- Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and do not
forsake your mother's teaching. Indeed, they are a graceful
wreath to your head, and ornaments about your neck.

And again, the second time, God attaches a promise:

Proverbs 6:20-23a ---- My son, observe the commandment of
your father, and do not forsake the teaching of your mother; Bind
them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck. When
you walk about, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will
watch over you; And when you awake they will talk to you. For the
commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light, and reproofs
for discipline are the way of life..."

Here’s a thought: If the Creator of the Universe - the Author of all
Wisdom -sees fit to REPEAT Himself....He must feel like what
He’s saying is pretty important, right? What a blessing it is when
a child “wears” his parents’ teaching around his neck like an
ornament -- when a child embraces and honors the teachings of
his parents, and the commandments of God! That is the child
whose days will be “multiplied on the land!”

God has placed upon us an awesome responsibility AND
privilege; teaching our children to become more like Him. I’m
humbled and honored to have that calling on my life.
Deuteronomy 32: 46, 47a says: "Take to your heart all the words
with which I am warning you today, which you shall command
your sons to observe carefully, even all the words of this law. For
it is not an idle word for you: indeed it is your life. (Emphasis mine)
And by this word you shall prolong your days in the land..." Pray
that God would indeed make His Word your life, so that you can
pour into your children what He has poured into you.

Perhaps more than any other, the following scripture sums up
what I’ve been trying to say -- what God has been birthing in me
over the past year:

1Timothy 1:5 “But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure
heart and a good conscious and a sincere faith."

After reading that verse a few times, I went on to the next verse.
1Timothy 1:6 - "For some men, straying from these things, have
turned aside to fruitless discussion..." It is SO easy to get side
tracked in our homeschool efforts. We can be so overwhelmed
by the idea that WE are responsible for teaching our child
EVERYTHING they need to know that we forget our Source, and
we forget the true “goal of our instruction.” We end up agonizing
over finding the “right” curriculum and the “right” approach, when
what we really need is the right attitude and the right Provider!

So this year, as you begin your homeschooling journey, my prayer
for you is that God will guide and direct your homeschooling each
day. I pray that He will daily pour into you the wisdom that you
need to lead your kids into a closer walk with Him, and that He will
bless and multiply your efforts. I am convinced that if we seek
God’s wisdom first, He will add everything else that we need, and
will provide such an increase that we will raise truly incredible
children for His glory.

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THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING IS IN THE HEART
by Lisa Easterling in August 2000
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When we made the decision to teach our first child at home, our
thought was to take things year by year. No long-term decision of
how long we'd do it, but somewhere in the back of our minds, I
think we both figured we'd teach at home until junior high, then put
him in public school. When we started, Jeff was in second grade,
and by the end of the year, we knew we had made the right
choice. Jeff was happy, respectful, and well-adjusted, and he
scored several grades ahead on his standardized test. Our family
and friends were supportive, but every now and then I'd hear a
comment that sounded something like, "Well, that's fine for when
he's little, but when he gets older, he'll need to go to real school."

By the time he reached seventh grade, we knew that the last thing
we wanted to do was throw away all the progress he had made in
his character, so we decided high school would be a better time
and age to put him in "real school". In my heart I worried a little
what people would think. I knew they saw Jeff as the "proof of the
pudding", the proving ground of our home education decision,
since by then we had five children--all learning at home.

By the time he reached ninth grade we knew we had to make a
very big decision. If we taught him at home any further, we'd have
to go the whole route and teach him through high school because
of credit accumulation.

Decision time. What about homecoming? What about prom?
Football games on Friday nights? Grad Night? Spring Break?
School spirit? A diploma? What about college? We agonized
under the weight. After all, both Steve and I had attended public
high school. And the reality was, it wasn't so much that we hated
public and private school. It was just that home education had
become a way of life for us. Something we all loved and enjoyed.
We decided to stick out our necks and accept the challenge of
educating through high school.

Jeff began volunteering at the local science museum, and was
chosen to participate in a special career-ladder program. He
continued playing Little League baseball with fervor. He was
asked to serve on the Teen Advisory Board in our church youth
group. Within two years he was placed on-staff at the museum. At
about the same time, the opportunity came for home educated
students to dual-enroll at the local junior college and have the
class credits count for both high school and college. He passed
the placement test and entered college.

I sit at my desk thinking about all of this, and I can't help but smile.
Jeff "graduated" from our home high school last May. He received
a diploma that bears the name of his own home. At that time he
was half-way to an Associates Degree. He has now been on staff
at the museum for three years, in addition to the two years he
volunteered. He has played baseball for nine years and now plays
on the church men's softball team. He plays guitar and piano and
is developing his talent for art design. He has been personally
praised by both his professor and the president of the junior
college. But above all the academics, the impressive grade-point
average, the music, the art, the youth activities, the career...is the
most important proof of all. He is a good man. He is married to a
wonderful young lady and is looking forward with delight to the
upcoming birth of their first child. He is a terrific husband and
looks forward to being a dedicated father. Respectful and
respected, he is a young man I am blessed to call my son.

They said he would be the proof of the pudding. For many
on-lookers he would be the proof for home education in general.
As for us, he is proving what our hearts were telling us all along.
We've never said home education is for everybody. Not everyone
can and not everyone wants to. But for those of us who do, the
proof is with us every day. It's right here with us as we enjoy each
year, each moment, teaching our children and enabling them.
Instilling in them a love for learning and equipping them with the
necessary tools. Teaching them to be good people.

The proof of the pudding has always been right here in our hearts.

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CHARACTER BUILDING
by Wanda Carlton
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I certainly do not feel as if I model Godly character on a daily
basis. If my children are learning character, it is Christ doing it
through me and others. Besides modeling character to our
children (which is most likely the way they learn it best) -- we read!
Biographies of missionaries and stories that teach are what we
put on our reading lists. One good book that I have found which
illustrates character is William Bennett's Book of Virtues. It is also
published in a children's version. There is a PBS series, now on
video, based on the books. Choice Stories for Children and
Stories Worth Re-Reading tell stories that teach character. There
are also books for boys, like Tiger and Tom. We read a book by
Moody called Little Britches. I use this illustration from that book
with my children: Character is built like a house. Each time we
learn a new character, we add bricks to our foundation. If one of
our bricks (character) is weak, the wall could fall. I will remind my
children about their character by simply asking them how their
character house is coming along. The foundation is laid by
following God and His plan for our lives. We find His plan by
reading the greatest book ever printed, The Bible. This doesn't
mean that no problems or troubles will come your way, if fact you
probably will have some "trying" times --- it will build your
character.

I will not even pretend to have you think or fool myself into
thinking I have or model a strong character house. That's why I
pray... I pray asking God to built my character house... and I pray
that my children's character house will too be built on a strong
foundation (in spite of their mom) and that their walls be strong so
that no storm can knock them down. It reminds me of a song I
learned in Sunday School.... it's about a wise man and a foolish
man. The foolish man built his house on the sand. When the rains
came down and the floods went up, the house on the sand went
"splat!" The wise man built his house on the rock and when the
rains and floods came his house stood firm. We learn from this
fun and simple song, that has lasted generations to generations,
to have strong character we must build our house on The Rock,
Jesus Christ.

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CHARACTER CASE STUDIES
by Tonya Travelstead
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We often use live "case studies" of children and adults that we
see in public and talk about what was observed, i.e. if it was godly
character or not (the parent and the child) and how the Lord would
have preferred the situation be handled, why the action did or did
not glorify God, etc. We do the same with the literature that is
read and movies that we see.