Quote from Forum Archives on January 27, 2003, 9:43 am

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE HOPE CHEST:
Ideas and Inspiration for Home Education
January / February 2003 
Issue #54: Keep Going!
Part 1: Encouragement for the Heart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

WELCOME TO THE HOPE CHEST! 

 

The Hope Chest Home School News is a free bi-monthly e-mail
newsletter with encouragement and practical teaching tips. The
editor is Virginia Knowles, wife of Thad, and mother of nine, ages
preborn to teen. Virginia is also the author and publisher of
Common Sense Excellence: Faith-Filled Home Education for
Preschool to 5th Grade, The Real Life Home School Mom,  and
The Learner's Journal lesson planner and record keeping log.
(Ordering information is at the end of the newsletter.)

 

HOPE CHEST CONTACT INFORMATION

 

Web site:  www.hopechest.homestead.com/welcome.html
Resource descriptions:
www.hopechest.homestead.com/resourceorders.html
Personal e-mail:  [email protected]
Subscription address:  [email protected]
Unsubscription address: [email protected]

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

Part 1: Encouragement for the Heart

• From My Heart to Yours: Keep Going! by Virginia Knowles
• Stress Busting for Home School Moms by Virginia Knowles
• "In Search of Sanity":  Excerpts from The Real Life Home
  School Mom by Virginia Knowles
• Surrender by Bonnie Bonnette

 

Part 2: Educational Resources You Can Use

• "I Have a Dream": Thoughts on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
• Interview with Valerie Bendt and Review of Making the Most of
  the Preschool Years
• Review of Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty by
  Dannah Gresh
• More on Modesty from Sovereign Grace Ministries
• "Overcoming Your Child's Lack of Confidence" and
  "Characteristics of Solids": Excerpts from Common Sense
  Excellence by Virginia Knowles
• Poet's Pen: "A Prayer, Under the Pressure of Violent Anguish"
  by Robert Burns

 

Part 3: Life's Little Practicalities

• Mommyisms by Virginia Knowles
• Watching Your Wallet by Virginia Knowles
• Doing the Wash: Grandmother's "Receet" by Author Unknown
• Chicken Enchilada Casserole submitted by Angie Blackman

 

Part 4: The Final Stuff

• What's New at the Knowles House?
• Resource Ordering Information
• Reprint Permission

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FROM MY HEART TO YOURS:
Keep Going!
by Virginia Knowles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I often hear from moms who are overwhelmed -- not only with
teaching their children academics, but with everything else that goes
with the busy home school lifestyle: marriage, child training,
housework, errands, ministry, etc.   They also might be lonely, bored, or feeling criticized by those around them.   All of these can become
powerful temptations to quit before our time.  I used to think in terms
of "bad days" and "good days."  However, I recently realized that this
isn't usually true.  It's a rare day that is all bad or all good.  On any
given day, a child can be grumpy in the morning, and sailing high in
the afternoon (or visa versa).  In fact, mine have been known to
vacillate back and forth every ten minutes!  Or one child can be an
angel, while another sends me from the room with steam puffing out
my ears.   The child who one day can't seem to figure out a single
math problem without me practically telling her the answer, the next
day gets a burst of confidence and motivation -- and does several
lessons in a row by herself.  (It's true!)  I could bomb a science
demonstration, but ace a history lesson.  I could go on about this,
but I'm sure you get the picture.

 

I think we all still have those times, especially midyear, when we wonder if we are crazy to even attempt to home school.  Fortunately, after over a decade of "in the trenches" experience, I'm at the point where I know that tomorrow is another day.  I'll feel better after a good night's sleep.  With God's help, I can figure out SOMETHING that will make an improvement, even if it takes a few tries.  I try not to get stuck in the ditch of short term hassles, but to keep my gaze fixed on the finish line (which in my case is still about 18 years away).  It makes a world of difference.  That's what keeps me going, even when life is swirling around us and the challenges keep piling up. 

 

I just want to encourage you to KEEP GOING!   It's worth it!  You will grow as you persevere through the obstacles, and find that you have learned even more than your children!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STRESS BUSTING FOR HOME SCHOOL MOMS

by Virginia Knowles

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I'd like to share with you a very abbreviated outline of a speech I
gave last November at a support group meeting in Clearwater,
Florida.   I call it "Stress-Busting for Home School Moms."  Maybe
someday I'll turn it into a booklet of its own, but I don't have time for
that right now!

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A few years ago, when I presented this talk to my own home school
group, the leader asked me how to list it in the church bulletin. She
suggested "Stress-Free Home Schooling."  I had to laugh!   In my
mind, there IS no such thing as "Stress-FREE Home Schooling" -- at
least not in MY house with eight very active and opinionated children
from toddler to teen!  Our family has encountered several major
stress factors in the past several months, including pregnancy,
unemployment, a grandmother with advanced cancer, a change in
churches, and more. 

 

I can tell you that it has been a real struggle to deal with this extra
stuff in life, but if we don't learn how to handle stress wisely, it can
destroy us.  Some of the negative results of stress are health
problems, relational conflicts, and a lack of productivity.   Most
importantly, it can rob us of the peace and joy that should be ours in
Christ.  But stress can have a positive effect too, IF we use it as a
motivation to change something that is wrong.  It can spur us on to
seek God for fresh strength and vision.  It can cause us to evaluate
and adjust our lifestyles.  And it can drive us to mend and build our
relationships.   In my life, the extra stress factors have forced me to
lean harder on God and look for ways to change our situation. 

 

Let's talk about some ways that we all can do this.  For those of you
who like alliteration, we will be taking a whirlwind tour through 12
Stress Busters that start with the letter P.   Are you ready?

 

PRAYER: Prayer is how we seek God's strength and wisdom for
home schooling, and how we become equipped for spiritual warfare.
Imagine with me....  You enter The Most Holy Place, the throne room
of God, and bow before the King.  Then after he embraces you and
places a comforting hand on your head, he hands you this beautifully
wrapped package.  Inside are his gifts of Mercy and Grace.  They
aren't generic brand either!  They are specifically designed for your
particular needs that very day.  Whatever your problem is, there is
the solution.  Whatever your grief, there is a unique balm of comfort.
What's even better, his door is open whenever you choose to visit,
and he has a different care package for you every time you come.
All of these benefits come to you because of your relationship as his
daughter through the sacrifice of Jesus.   This is not a fantasy
scene, ladies!  This is what can really truly happen as we come to
God in prayer!

 

Scriptures: Philippians 4:6-7, Ephesians 6, Hebrews 4:15-16

 

PRIORITIES:  Are your priorities out of whack? Are the urgent things
crowding out the important?  The most important priority is to love
God with all our hearts, and love others as ourselves.  We must
teach our children to do the same, while we lavish on them our
motherly affection, time, supervision, and help.  In academic
subjects, we need to focus on the basics first: reading, speaking &
writing, and math.  Then we can add in science, social studies and
electives.   Remember that EFFICIENCY is doing things the RIGHT
WAY, but EFFECTIVENESS is doing the RIGHT THING!  It doesn't
really matter how much you can cram into your schedule, or how
fancy or how cheaply you can do it if what you are doing is not
WORTHWHILE.  What is the RIGHT THING for your family?

 

Scriptures: Deuteronomy 6:5-7, Titus 2:4-5

 

PLANNING:  We plan to make sure that our priorities are
accomplished.  If we rush into home schooling without careful
thought to what we want to do and how we want to do it, we can
expect to FAIL!  Planning includes long term goals, detailed
step-by-step subgoals, schedules for various time periods, lesson
plans, curriculum purchase lists, etc.

 

Scriptures: Isaiah 32:8, Proverbs 21:5

 

PREPARATION:  Preparation is the natural extension of planning,
putting it into action.  You can talk all you want about what you want
to do, but until you start to DO it, you won't get anywhere at all.  Get
your supplies ready ahead of time, learn the material that you want
your children to learn, and teach and demonstrate skills for your
children (academic and household) instead of expecting them to
know how to do them instinctively.

 

Scriptures: Proverbs 14:23

 

PROBLEM SOLVING: It's time to look for practical solutions to
recurring problems.   What is it that bugs you and your family day in
and day out?  What is it that drives you to tears of frustration or
starts quarrels?  Find it and FIX IT!  A small change can make a big
difference!  Research answers to your problems through reading
Scripture and other books, and talking with others (including your
husband and children).  Learn to brainstorm: List all of the possible
options, evaluate which ones would be best, and give them a try!  If
it doesn't work, try something else!  If your curriculum is not working
right, should you try to make the child work harder at it, modify the
curriculum, switch curriculums, or just give it some time?

 

Scriptures: 1 Peter 5:7, James 1:5

 

PARTNERSHIP:  Many times the problem that needs to be solved is
that we are trying to be SuperMom and do everything by ourselves!
We need to expect, accept and ask for help from others:

• Husband: leads family, is partner for decision making, can help
  teach
• Children: learn to work independently, take initiative, help
  around house
• Willing relatives: help chauffeur, babysit younger children
  during field trips, take children to cultural events, give
  educational materials as gifts
• Home school support groups: offer fellowship and
  encouragement, give creative ideas and advice, plan group
  events, provide social opportunities for children
• Teachers and mentors: provide instruction in areas where we
  are weak, generate enthusiasm for their topics

Scriptures: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, Proverbs 19:20

 

PEACEMAKING:  Mom, you set the atmosphere in your home.  The
kind of interactions that you allow will determine whether your home
is filled with peace or strife.   Model peacemaking with your
husband.  Insist on respect from your children. Coach children
(especially younger ones) through their conflicts, how to avoid a
quarrel, how to overlook offenses, how to sincerely apologize, etc.
(See resources from Peacemaker Ministries.) Ask them to think
about the quality of their relationships.  They are going to be living
with their brothers and sisters for several years.  Do they really want
to live in hostility, or wouldn't it be more fun to be friends? Do
arguing and complaining really make them feel good?

 

Scriptures: James 3:17-18

 

PLEASURE:  One way that we can reduce stress is to have fun
together!   We can do things that make us feel happy.   When many
children think of entertainment, they automatically think of something
passive, like television.  That's really limiting our options!  Our TV
was getting way too much attention in our house, so I threw away
the antenna.  Now we just use it as a video player, and I don't think I
could go back to having TV reception again!  Think of all the things
you can do as a family without a TV!  Read aloud from a great
adventure book, or write your own books!  Play thinking games like
chess or 20 Questions, or make up your own games!  Learn sign
language. Go for nature walks, or "do nature" by planting a flower
garden.  Do craft projects. Bake cookies for shut-ins, or sing at a
nursing home.  Put on a family talent show.

 

Scriptures: Proverbs 17:22

 

PRAISE:  A sincere word of encouragement can keep everyone
moving toward success.  It is a law of human nature that people
tend to continue doing the things that earn them affirmation and
praise.  I'm not saying we should flatter our children or make them
think they should only do something good if someone will notice, but
we can't neglect this powerful motivational tool that God has given
us.  If you praise your children more than you criticize them, it
changes the atmosphere in the home.   They are more likely to offer
a word of encouragement to a brother or sister.  What a
stress-buster!  Some children need extra praise when it comes to
academics!   The opportunity to give a child instant positive
feedback on their efforts is one of the great benefits of home
schooling!

 

Scriptures: 1 Thessalonians 5:11,  Proverbs 16:21

 

PERSONAL CARE: To keep our bodies and spirits from becoming
worn down from the constant demands we face, we must do what it
takes to tend to our health.  The four main things that usually affect
my own health and energy level are: the amount of sleep I get, what
I eat and when I eat it, what kind of exercise I am doing, and what
my hormones are doing with either my monthly cycles or a
childbearing.  Most of those health factors are a matter of choices
that I make each day.  Besides your physical health, you need to pay
attention to your mental health, especially if you are prone to
depression.   You may occasionally enjoy getting away from the
house for a few hours in order to think straight or to get together with
friends.   A hobby can be good for your emotional well-being health,
too.   Do what it takes to keep your body, mind and spirit in good
running order!  You need them for the rest of your life!

 

Scriptures: Daniel 1:8-14, Psalm 127:2

 

PRACTICAL HOMEMAKING:  Make your home a haven of rest, not
a cesspool of stress.  A cluttered room raises irritation and
distraction levels, while a tidy one helps you to concentrate and/or
relax.   Another problem that clutter creates is that we can't FIND the
supplies that we know we have SOMEWHERE!   We need to
organize our school rooms so we can locate our materials quickly,
and so that things don't fall off the shelves.  The best
recommendation I can give you is to buy lots of plastic bins and
organize your things into logical categories, such as pencils,
stencils, game pieces, rubber stamps, bottles of glue, etc.  You may
not have a lot of money to decorate your home, but even touching
up the paint or hanging a few family photos can perk up a room.  We
can make our homes pleasant to look at, even on a tight budget!

 

Scriptures: Proverbs 14:1, Titus 2:5, Proverbs 31

 

PERSISTENCE: "Try, try, try again!"  I know it's tempting to throw in
the towel on home schooling when the times get tough.  I'll bet many
of you have been tempted to call the local public school and enroll your
children immediately!  But if God has put a conviction on your heart
about home schooling your children, now is not the time to quit!
There is a blessing he holds in store for those who stick with their
commitments! What an example this is to our children when they
see us persevere on their behalf!  It will help teach them to be
faithful in what God has called them to do!  Ladies, your labor in the
Lord is not in vain.  What you are doing in your own homes with your
own children will someday affect nations and generations as they go
forth from a strong foundation. 

 

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 15:58

 

May God bless you richly in this grand and noble adventure!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IN SEARCH OF SANITY
Excerpts from The Real Life Home School Mom
by Virginia Knowles
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

My sister Barbara, a home school mom of three who also
works part-time outside the home, recalls the time when she
attended a women's Bible study.  The icebreaker question was,
"What do you do to comfort yourself in times of stress?"  Woman
after woman gave an appropriate spiritual answer like, "I read my
Bible for an hour."  When it was Barb's turn, she blurted out the
answer that no one else was willing to admit: "CHOCOLATE!"

Home school is many things, but utopia is definitely not one
of them.  Some folks think it's the next coziest thing to sipping hot
cocoa in front of the fireplace, but the most common reaction I get
from moms who don't home school is: "I've got to give you credit.  I
wouldn't have the patience for it."  I have news for those ladies.  I
certainly don't have great gobs of natural patience either, but we do
it anyway.  I am going on faith that God is going to build in our
family, little by little, all of the character qualities it takes to be
successful.  When times get rough (and they do), that is what not
only carries me through, but allows me to stay enthusiastic about the
blessing of our home school.
   

Believe me, bad things will happen.  I could rattle off dozens
of examples from our own family in recent years.  Some merely
annoy or inconvenience us, but others cause a deep ache because
no end is in sight or because we keenly see our own inadequacy of
character.  Whether the future looks bleak or you just feel the heat
of daily hassles, rest assured that you are not alone in your
struggles.  

 

....

 

To those of you who struggle with your emotions, may I offer
a heartfelt confession?  I have shed many tears of doubt and
confusion.  Can the Heavenly Father really transform my life and
shepherd my children past my mistakes?  I often wonder what
secret key will make it all come together in a neat package, but I
suspect it's a matter of patient endurance and trust.  Progress
doesn't come all at once.  I need to live by faith in the Almighty, not
by the sorry sight of my own shortcomings (see 2 Corinthians 5:1-7).
I also need constant encouragement!  My sister Barbara, who knows
me intimately yet still loves me deeply, has often poured out a
healing balm of mercy, consolation, and prayer.  Home school
friends have spurred me on.  The loving intercession of a church
prayer team has comforted me.  Going to church every week has
also been a boost.  A few times I have had to drag myself to a
service, not feeling like worshipping, yet God has met me there with
a special sermon or song to renew me.

If you wrestle with yourself like I do, please don't go through
this trial-by-fire alone.  If you don't find any relief from depression,
anger, or other destructive patterns, do not be afraid to get help.
Don't be so concerned about your "home school mom" image that
you allow your hurts to fester.  Carefully work through these issues
with your husband, an experienced home school mom, an older
"Titus 2" woman, or a godly pastor who is supportive of home
schooling and your other convictions about family life.

 

(For information on ordering The Real Life Home School Mom, see
part 4 of this newsletter.  You can also visit The Real Life Home
School Mom description page at
www.hopechest.homestead.com/reallife.html

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A SURRENDERED LIFE
by Bonnie Bonnette
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Virginia's note:  I think you'll be blessed by the insight of my dear
friend, Bonnie Bonnette.  She has been a sweet encouragement to
me over the years over the years I have known her, as well as a
frequent contributor to the Hope Chest.  It is so easy to see Jesus in
Bonnie!]

 

A surrendered life seems like a lot of work doesn't it?  But yet it is
the exact opposite.  Let me explain.  When you have not
surrendered your life to God completely, what happens is every area
not surrendered becomes WORK.  Let me give you some examples
in my life.  Every phone call, visit with a friend, training session,
aerobic class, everything period that puts me in contact with people,
I am prayed up and surrendered to God.  I ask Him to please forgive
me of any sin and to make me clean.  I ask Him to annoint me with
His fullest spiritual power and I ask Jesus to step into my body and
do all the ministering for me.  There is no better minister than Christ,
Himself.  I ask God to take my mind, my heart, my soul, my mouth,
every part of  me and use it to bring glory to Him and bless and
encourage others.  I ask Him to use me mightily to minister to every
one of their specific emotional, physical, and spiritual needs.  All that
is impossible with man is possible with God.  As I go, I then
experience God in the fullest sense of the word.  Nothing is in the
way.  No feelings or emotions or stress or worry or anything.
Completely free from my works and performance for God to have
full reign of all of me.  My spirit has a real sense of all the fruits of
the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, and self-control.  I also feel extremely encouraged and
hungry for more of God.  My relationship with Him deepens and I
sense a real closeness with my Lord.  Now that is life to it's fullest
and living the abundant life God wants for us.
  
On the other hand, the areas in which I am not surrendered to God
go just the opposite.  Things seem to surface that anger or frustrate
me.  I become impatient, selfish, stubborn, unloving, stressed, and
totally lacking the example of Christ.  I find myself blaming
whomever I'm having a problem with for my behavior.  My mind
seems to fill with lots of excuses.  I seem to be in a blind state
spiritually.  Lots of rationalization!  This continues time after time as I
WORK HARD at reasoning the problem and the solution out, which
just leads to more reasoning and more solutions that never end.
This is what I call WORK!  I become totally exhausted trying hard to
make things work right.  It's kind of amazing how I didn't even realize
what I was doing.  Kind of like your paddling along full speed and
someone's trying to get your attention of a drop off up ahead but
you're so busy paddling that you aren't listening or paying attention.
I think that we all know as Christians that God knows all things and
has all the answers to our problems but it stops there.  We think He
has them and will not necessarily give them to us.  God doesn't just
have the answers but He IS the answer.  He is all things and He is
the BEST at all things.  The BEST parent, the BEST teacher, the
BEST prayer, the BEST witness, the BEST encourager, the BEST
motivator, the BEST speaker, the BEST EVERYTHING!  God
doesn't need anyone to teach Him or show Him anything.  He
invented our language, prayer, parents, everything.  He IS the
answer to all the the things in our lives.  No matter how small or big
our matter, He not only can handle it but WANTS to and WILL
handle it.  I like what Hannah Whittal Smith says, "We both have a
job to do.  Our job is to get up in the Potters hand (SURRENDER!)
and His job is to DO!"  But we must stay there daily RESTING in the
Potters hand and allowing Him to do ALL THE WORK!  Just the way
He planned.  Let Him teach my kids school.  He sees their future
and knows what they need specifically.  He knows how they learn
best and how to encourage them the most.  He can make them
Spiritual heroes and soul winners for Jesus.   God ALWAYS knows
what to say and how to say it in EVERY SITUATION.  I want nothing
I've got to offer.  I only want all that God has to offer.  I want His
holiness, His righteousness, His love, His peace, His wisdom, His
knowledge, and ALL His power living through me every day in every
situation and only a surrendered life gets all that.  Man, WHAT A
DEAL!  God is magnificantly GOOD!  Taste and see that the Lord is
GOOD!  Once you get a taste of God in full surrender to Him,
nothing else will do.  You will begin to see all our problems as so
small and minor, because God will be so BIG in you.  You will have
His vision to see your problems, and boy will they seem small.  Your
faith in God will grow tremendously.  You might begin to say things
in your mind like I do when I see a problem with our church or
people, "I'm going to go tell me Dad about that."  You will see that
your prayers MATTER and make a difference everytime.
 
A surrendered life is a happy life.  A surrendered life is a life that
impacts many others for Christ, outside and inside the home.  A
surrendered life enjoys God more everyday.  Most of all a
surrendered life pleases God!  A surrendered life says, "I can do
ALL things through Christ who strengthens me and nothing is too
difficult for God. 
 
Have you ever messed up with someone and said or did the wrong
thing and you thought you were winning by holding on to that
grudge?  In reality you were losing.  Losing your fellowship with God
and with the person you wronged.  You can't stop dwelling on it and
you feel rotten.  Once you go to God and ask forgiveness and go to
that person and ask forgiveness, you become free from all those
rotten feelings.  That's how it is with a surrendered life.  You become
free for God to mold into Christ and free for God to use as a tool to
impact others.