I Have to
Posted by: forthrightmag <forthrightmag@...>
http://www.forthright.net
Going straight to the Cross
Our prayers are for a quick conclusion to the war
and a peaceful solution. Closer to home, there is
much more I can do to overcome an internal regime
change.
I Have To
by Barry Newton
Angry eyes glared at the financial counselor. Her
words sought to cut him down to size so that he
would realize she was just a victim of
circumstance. “You just don’t understand. I have
to spend this much money on fast food. My schedule
is so rushed that I only have time for a drive
through lunch.”
How do you tackle something so big, so ingrained,
that people are resistant to even acknowledging
its very existence? Whether on the individual,
group or societal level, ideas have consequences.
And the thought “I have to” is particularly adept
at imprisoning lives while simultaneously offering
a Faustian* bargain conveniently served up with a
self-deluding but seemingly self- justifying
excuse of being a victim.
The truth is we don’t have to do anything. We
choose to do what we do because we believe in a
whole rack full of promises. My kids will be
successful if they are exposed to ___. I must have
___, because this will ___. The list seems
endless.
In the previous scenario her choice might be to
sleep a little longer rather than make a sack
lunch. It’s her choice to eat rather than to fast.
It’s her choice to maintain her schedule because
of what she believes her schedule will provide
her.
I know firsthand the desire to deny all of this.
When confronted, I did not like it. I argued. I
did not want him to be right.
About fifteen years ago I was complaining to a
friend just how stressed out I was with my five
part-time jobs, full graduate school schedule and
other responsibilities. I thought that in Joel’s
eyes I would be earning the badge of someone
important and on the move. Kindly, Joel responded,
“you chose all of this.”
Of course I objected! For me to achieve good
grades I had to study hard. I had to work all of
those jobs to pay my bills as I went through
school. On and on I rambled. To which Joel asked,
“Why do you have to get good grades? Why do you
have to take a full slate of classes. Why ...” I
could not believe my ears. Joel was questioning
what I considered foundational!
Sure I offered answers to each of his questions,
but I was attempting to dodge his real point.
Because I believed a strong academic performance
provided promises for the future, I chose to
impose a standard upon myself. I chose to complete
my studies within a particular time period because
I wanted ... . I wanted ... The truth was, I had
chosen my lifestyle because I wanted what I
thought it would provide. I was a prisoner of my
own desires, but I wanted to blame my schedule.
And so I argued, “I have to.”
If we are willing to listen, Jesus wants to set us
free from our self-imposed prisons of “I have to.”
Essentially Jesus says, “If you will receive me,
I’ve taken care of your deepest need –- namely, to
belong to God. You also do not need to worry about
housing, clothing, or shelter if you put God’s
kingdom first. That will be taken care of, too.
And you don’t have to worry about being important
–- your identity and worth are eternally secure
with me. You are my disciple as well as co-heir.
Whatever you really need, it’s been taken care. So
now you are free to live.”
Jesus sets us free to live deliberately instead of
existing as victims of our own thinking and
desires. The truth that our long lists of "have
to's" are not really that important will be self-
evident to all of us within a hundred years.
So if you have been set free from the secularly
driven list of "I have to," what are you going to
do with your life? Who or what will be honored?
It’s not about unfulfilled good intentions; it’s
what am I choosing to do now?
*Faust was a magician and astrologer who was held
to have sold his soul to the devil in exchange for
worldly experience and power, but in the end the
reality did not live up to the promises.