IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE Wednesday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction
in the original prototype units code named "Adam" and "Eve"
resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all
subsequent units.
This defect is technically termed, "Serious Internal Non-
morality," but more commonly known as "SIN."
Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Lack of peace and joy
[c] Depression
[d] Foul vocal emissions
[e] Selfishness
[f] Ingratitude
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Rebellion
[i] Jealousy
The Manufacturer is providing factory authorized repair service
free of charge to correct the SIN defect. The Repair Technician,
Jesus Christ, has most generously offered to bear the entire
burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.
To repeat, there is no fee required. The number to call for
repair in all areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected please upload the burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the
Repair Technician, Christ, into the heart component of the
human unit.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Christ will replace
it with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Kindness
[e] Goodness
[f] Faithfulness
[g] Gentleness
[h] Patience
[I] Self-control
Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details
on the use of these fixes.
As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all
repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and
assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy
Spirit. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will
take up residence on the premises.
WARNING: Continuing to operate a human being unit without
corrections voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit
to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately
result in the human unit being incinerated.
Thank you for your attention.
Please assist by notifying others of this important recall notice.
This Action was Authorized by: The Creator.
Funny how we set our clocks to arise at 4:00am or 5:00am to
be at the job by 7:30am, yet when Sunday comes we can't get
to church for 11:00am to praise the one who gave us the jobs!
Funny how we call God our Father and Jesus our brother, but
find it hard to introduce them to our family.
Funny how small our sins seem, but how big "their" sins are.
Funny how we demand justice for others, but expect mercy
from God.
Funny how much difficulty some have learning the gospel
well enough to tell others, but how simple it is to understand/
explain the latest gossip about someone else.
Funny how we can't think of anything to say when we pray,
but don't have any difficulty thinking of things to talk about
to a friend.
Funny how we are so quick to take directions from a total
stranger when we are lost, but find it nearly impossible to
take God's direction for our lives.
Funny how so many church goers sing "Standing on the Promises"
but all they do is sit on the premises.
Funny how people want God to answer their prayers, but refuse
to listen to His counsel.
Funny how we sing about heaven, but live only for today.
Funny how people think they are going to Heaven but don't think
there is a hell.
Funny how it is okay to blame God for evil and suffering in the
world, but it is not necessary to thank Him for what is good and
pleasant.
Funny how when something goes wrong, we cry, "Lord, why
me?" but when something goes right, we think, "Hey, it must
be me!"
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