LOVE IS IN THE AIR

#1 · February 17, 2004, 1:51 pm

Quote from Forum Archives on February 17, 2004, 1:51 pm
Posted by: bhfbc <bhfbc@...>

LOVE IS IN THE AIR
February 15, 2004

Text: 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1

With this being Valentines Day weekend, love is in the air. Very much
so. Love has been in the air for some time now. Romantic settings have
been highlighted. The meaning for the different colors of roses have been
described. Everyone has buzzed for some time now about how to create the
perfect Valentines environment. I even happened to catch one internet
news site article titled Researcher Uses Formulas for Marriage. It
begins, A researcher believes he can predict the outcome of most any
marriage with a few squiggles on a chart. John M. Gottman said a 20-year
study involving more than 600 married couples shows that by carefully
plotting how a husband and wife interact and then reducing those
observations to a formula, researchers can tell which marriages will
succeed and which are heading for the rocks. In a report at the national
meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science,
Gottman said studies by his Relationship Research Institute and the
University of Washington show that how couples resolve differences is a
key factor in whether a marriage will last. The article then proceeds to
describe three styles of conflict resolution used by married couples.
Trouble in marriages comes, it continues, when the couples are a mix
of personalities that do not mesh in resolving conflicts. For instance, a
husband who is a volatile arguer married to a wife who is an avoider,
or one who flees from disagreement, may be in marital trouble, he said.
(Associated Press, February 13, 2004 06:32 AM EST)

Even though such studies are heralded as cutting edge, breakthrough
research, I dont think that this all that new. Although it does not
present relationships in terms of mathematical models that can be charted
like this study, the Bible offers great insights into what makes marital
relationships succeed and last. In fact, if Gods Word is sought with the
sincere desire to understand and obey, the Bible offers great insights
for marital success even before the wedding takes place. We have opened
the Scriptures to 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1; lets read these verses.

To be honest with these Scriptures, let us first recognize that Paul was
not writing about marital relationships here. At least he does not openly
state so here. He was writing about a concern that plagued Christians in
his part of the world for at least 300 years. That concern was the
presence of pagan idols and rituals and worship. We have not had to worry
about this in our part of the world. We do not have pagan temples all
over the place like they had back then. Oh, we see a few places of
worship for non-Christian believers every once in awhile, but nowhere
like what Christians in Pauls day experienced. Idolatry was the rule of
the land. Just like in our day, some people thought they were better off
if they tried to cover all their spiritual bases by participating in
all these forms of worship. In other words, they wanted to believe in
everything in the hope that they had picked the right religion in among
all their choices.

To this, Paul responded with the well-known words of 2 Corinthians 6:14,
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and
wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with
darkness? Paul stated plainly enough that if a person comes to a saving
belief through the gift of Jesus Christ, then there was no room to
continue pagan idol worship. Like I preached last week, to be a Christian
is to be narrow-minded in the belief that we come to God through the
blood of Jesus Christ. For we are the temple of the living God.

In addition to the cultural environment in which Paul taught, these
verses have also found application in arena of dating and marriage. The
application with which most of us are probably familiar is that a
Christian is not to enter into a marital relationship with an unbeliever.
In other words, do not be yoked together with unbelievers.

In our culture of personal freedoms and free thinking, this may come
across as harsh, unfair, and even unrealistic. For those who are single
and interested in dating relationships, this may come across as quite
unfair. Its hard enough to find someone that you get along with. Then
you finally do and you discover that this person you really like and are
attached to is not a Christian. It seems so unfair to have to break off a
meaningful relationship because of that. A mere disagreement about
religious beliefs?

Well, if we are applying Biblical principles to our lives, then the
answer is yes. We are not to become yoked with an unbeliever, and
marriage is certainly all about becoming yoked together. For the sake
of understanding, let me offer a definition of what being yoked is.
Literally, of course, the word refers to the wooden frame that harnessed
together a pair of oxen or other animal. From that, the word also applies
to relationships that bind, connect, or unite, such as the yoke of
brotherhood. Or a marriage. Clearly, in a marriage, a husband and wife
are to be connected and united. Do not be yoked with unbelievers.

As I have shared, this is a difficult lesson. But it is not a harsh
lesson from God. It is one of His most loving lessons. As a high school
teenager, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and was born-again. I was
saved. But as a teenager and a young adult, I was not always growing in
my walk with the Lord. Oh, I had my moments, but a lot of the time I
didnt go to church; I didnt read the Bible faithfully; I didnt pray; I
didnt seek Gods wisdom before making decisions. Im not proud of it; I
could have done things better, but I do not think I was that unusual. Nor
do I think that its too unusual now for a young Christian man or woman
to not be walking close to the Lord and maturing spiritually. So, when a
young man or woman meets someone who they grow to like, he or she is not
always thinking spiritually. Fortunately, I met and dated a faithful
Christian young woman. When the time came that we decided to be married,
she contacted her pastor in her Nebraska hometown about officiating the
wedding. Since we were in Hawaii, he had not met me and would not meet me
in person too much before the wedding. I still remember feeling offended
when I learned that he would not join us in marriage if I was not a
believer. What has that got to do with it? I thought. We were in love,
and we were going to get married. Like I said, I had not been growing
spiritually in my young adult days.

As it turned out, I was able to share my testimony with him, and he was
satisfied of my faith in Christ. And since then, Lois and I have stayed
in touch with Pastor Buddy and his wife, Evelyn. We are good friends. But
the point was made, do not be yoked together with unbelievers.

Bill Hybels, pastor of Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago,
writes, And people in the marrying mood really hate it when concerned
pastors say, But the Bible says They especially hate it when those
pastors turn to the infamous passage where Paul gives the first
requirement for meaningful, God-honoring marriage. Do not be yoked
together with unbelievers, he says. For what do righteousness and
wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with
darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a
believer have in common with an unbeliever? That is one of the least
appreciated verses in Scripture. Some singles claim it sounds downright
discriminatory - a kind of spiritual apartheid: The white hats cant mix
with the black hats; Gods children are too good to marry unbelievers
But these questioning singles do have an understandable complaint. The
cal for spiritual compatibility does reduce the field. In fact, for many
singles it pares the number of eligible candidates down to a mere
handful. Still, we have grown weary of hearing God take a bad rap for
this passage. Weary of people trusting God with every area of their lives
except this one. Weary of people ignoring this passage. Distorting it.
Justifying disobeying it: Hes almost a believer; she says shell become
a believer after were married. Above all, we are weary of dealing with
the consequences people face when they make statements like that, and
then end up with a spiritually incompatible spouse. (Bill & Lynne
Hybels, Fit to be Tied: Making Marriages Last a Lifetime, Grand Rapids:
Zondervan Publishing House, 1991, pp. 47-48)

The truth is, God knows all about love. He knows more about love than
well ever get around to knowing in our numbered days. And this is what
He knows: when you receive Jesus Christ as your Savior and are
born-again, God is your first love. God is our first love. In response to
questions about the greatest commandment in the Law, Jesus replied, To
love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and
with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. (Matthew
22:37)

How can we be in love with someone else who does not also love our first
love? What does it say about our commitment to our first love when we are
willing to put God aside in favor to satisfy our feelings for someone who
does not love God? Try convincing someone you love how much you care
about them while, at the same time, you ignore spending time with them in
favor of other things that please you. Do you honestly think that they
believe your words without any appropriate action on your part? Dont you
think that God knows where He stands when you place Him on the back
burner so that you can have your relationship with an unbeliever? I think
God has us figured out enough to know whether we are being honest with
him or not.

Additionally, within the limits of His holiness and righteousness, God
wants the very best for us. He goes so far as to take our burdens upon
Himself. He went to the cross on our behalf. With all that He has done
and suffered on our account, dont you believe that God really does want
the best for us? Then believe also that God wants your marriage to
flourish and last. He doesnt want marriage to turn out to be a life of
miserable bondage. Nor does He want you to have to go through all the sad
bitterness and trauma of a divorce. He wants you to succeed.

So dont you see why He is so concerned about being yoked together with
an unbeliever? He is not trying to make your life miserable; He is trying
His hardest to bring joy into your lives. When married to unbeliever, you
will eventually find the place where your values go apart instead of grow
together. You will eventually find that your heart does long for your
first love, and that you want to worship God with fellow believers. But
your unbelieving husband or wife will resent the times you want to be
with God. He or she might make fun of your faith, or demand that you stop
going to church, or prevent you from teaching the Christian faith to your
little children. You will run into those times when you have to
compromise your faith in order to please your spouse, and then you have
to suffer the guilt of disobeying God.

Is that how you intend your marriage to turn out? A confinement where you
end up having to disrespect one love in order to please another? You will
end up pleasing no one, least of all yourself. And what about when that
unbelieving husband or wife dies? You have loved him or her all these
years and now are faced with an eternity apart. Is that how you see your
marriage ending here on earth?

God does not want this for you. He wants you to experience joy. Do you
realize that God is not some cruel tyrant seeking to keep us from having
our fun? Not at all. God knows that lives are filled with meaning when we
do love the Lord our God. So He teaches us how to realize our fullest
potentials by trying to prevent us from making mistakes that will lead us
away from Him. God is not trying to take us away from someone we might
love; he is trying to lead us toward the very person whom we can love,
and be loved by, without reservation, without guilt, without giving up
our first love.

I dont want anyone to feel defeated because of decisions that have
already been made and put into place. There are many who do not know
about these verses or who ignore them. This does not necessarily mean
that their marriages are doomed or consigned to misery. The grace and
love of God can still work in the lives of men and women who are
unequally yoked together. It has happened. It may not be an easy path,
but it can happen, and I believe that we should always live in and with
such hope.

But do not ignore what you already know. The best way to stay out of
hardship and trouble is to avoid it in the first place. If you are a
born-again Christian, then God is your first love. Do not accept anything
less, and do not place yourself in a situation where you believe that you
have to compromise your love for God. I believe that God really does know
what is best for us and that when we follow Him obediently, and love Him
obediently, then we will be given blessings of success in our marriages,
families, our work, and any other endeavor we may pursue through which
God can be glorified.

Love is in the air. But not because of a Valentines day or because a
researcher uses formulas for marriage. Love is in the air because the
Spirit of God is in this place and with us. God is love. And because of
that, we, too, can know what love is. God wants the best for us, so be a
willing servant and follow Him and trust Him, especially in matters of
love.

Rev. Charles A. Layne, pastor, First Baptist Church, Bunker Hill, IN

________________________________________________________________
The best thing to hit the Internet in years - Juno SpeedBand!
Surf the Web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER!
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Posted by: bhfbc <bhfbc@...>

LOVE IS IN THE AIR
February 15, 2004

Text: 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1

With this being Valentines Day weekend, love is in the air. Very much
so. Love has been in the air for some time now. Romantic settings have
been highlighted. The meaning for the different colors of roses have been
described. Everyone has buzzed for some time now about how to create the
perfect Valentines environment. I even happened to catch one internet
news site article titled Researcher Uses Formulas for Marriage. It
begins, A researcher believes he can predict the outcome of most any
marriage with a few squiggles on a chart. John M. Gottman said a 20-year
study involving more than 600 married couples shows that by carefully
plotting how a husband and wife interact and then reducing those
observations to a formula, researchers can tell which marriages will
succeed and which are heading for the rocks. In a report at the national
meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science,
Gottman said studies by his Relationship Research Institute and the
University of Washington show that how couples resolve differences is a
key factor in whether a marriage will last. The article then proceeds to
describe three styles of conflict resolution used by married couples.
Trouble in marriages comes, it continues, when the couples are a mix
of personalities that do not mesh in resolving conflicts. For instance, a
husband who is a volatile arguer married to a wife who is an avoider,
or one who flees from disagreement, may be in marital trouble, he said.
(Associated Press, February 13, 2004 06:32 AM EST)

Even though such studies are heralded as cutting edge, breakthrough
research, I dont think that this all that new. Although it does not
present relationships in terms of mathematical models that can be charted
like this study, the Bible offers great insights into what makes marital
relationships succeed and last. In fact, if Gods Word is sought with the
sincere desire to understand and obey, the Bible offers great insights
for marital success even before the wedding takes place. We have opened
the Scriptures to 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1; lets read these verses.

To be honest with these Scriptures, let us first recognize that Paul was
not writing about marital relationships here. At least he does not openly
state so here. He was writing about a concern that plagued Christians in
his part of the world for at least 300 years. That concern was the
presence of pagan idols and rituals and worship. We have not had to worry
about this in our part of the world. We do not have pagan temples all
over the place like they had back then. Oh, we see a few places of
worship for non-Christian believers every once in awhile, but nowhere
like what Christians in Pauls day experienced. Idolatry was the rule of
the land. Just like in our day, some people thought they were better off
if they tried to cover all their spiritual bases by participating in
all these forms of worship. In other words, they wanted to believe in
everything in the hope that they had picked the right religion in among
all their choices.

To this, Paul responded with the well-known words of 2 Corinthians 6:14,
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and
wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with
darkness? Paul stated plainly enough that if a person comes to a saving
belief through the gift of Jesus Christ, then there was no room to
continue pagan idol worship. Like I preached last week, to be a Christian
is to be narrow-minded in the belief that we come to God through the
blood of Jesus Christ. For we are the temple of the living God.

In addition to the cultural environment in which Paul taught, these
verses have also found application in arena of dating and marriage. The
application with which most of us are probably familiar is that a
Christian is not to enter into a marital relationship with an unbeliever.
In other words, do not be yoked together with unbelievers.

In our culture of personal freedoms and free thinking, this may come
across as harsh, unfair, and even unrealistic. For those who are single
and interested in dating relationships, this may come across as quite
unfair. Its hard enough to find someone that you get along with. Then
you finally do and you discover that this person you really like and are
attached to is not a Christian. It seems so unfair to have to break off a
meaningful relationship because of that. A mere disagreement about
religious beliefs?

Well, if we are applying Biblical principles to our lives, then the
answer is yes. We are not to become yoked with an unbeliever, and
marriage is certainly all about becoming yoked together. For the sake
of understanding, let me offer a definition of what being yoked is.
Literally, of course, the word refers to the wooden frame that harnessed
together a pair of oxen or other animal. From that, the word also applies
to relationships that bind, connect, or unite, such as the yoke of
brotherhood. Or a marriage. Clearly, in a marriage, a husband and wife
are to be connected and united. Do not be yoked with unbelievers.

As I have shared, this is a difficult lesson. But it is not a harsh
lesson from God. It is one of His most loving lessons. As a high school
teenager, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and was born-again. I was
saved. But as a teenager and a young adult, I was not always growing in
my walk with the Lord. Oh, I had my moments, but a lot of the time I
didnt go to church; I didnt read the Bible faithfully; I didnt pray; I
didnt seek Gods wisdom before making decisions. Im not proud of it; I
could have done things better, but I do not think I was that unusual. Nor
do I think that its too unusual now for a young Christian man or woman
to not be walking close to the Lord and maturing spiritually. So, when a
young man or woman meets someone who they grow to like, he or she is not
always thinking spiritually. Fortunately, I met and dated a faithful
Christian young woman. When the time came that we decided to be married,
she contacted her pastor in her Nebraska hometown about officiating the
wedding. Since we were in Hawaii, he had not met me and would not meet me
in person too much before the wedding. I still remember feeling offended
when I learned that he would not join us in marriage if I was not a
believer. What has that got to do with it? I thought. We were in love,
and we were going to get married. Like I said, I had not been growing
spiritually in my young adult days.

As it turned out, I was able to share my testimony with him, and he was
satisfied of my faith in Christ. And since then, Lois and I have stayed
in touch with Pastor Buddy and his wife, Evelyn. We are good friends. But
the point was made, do not be yoked together with unbelievers.

Bill Hybels, pastor of Willow Creek Community Church near Chicago,
writes, And people in the marrying mood really hate it when concerned
pastors say, But the Bible says They especially hate it when those
pastors turn to the infamous passage where Paul gives the first
requirement for meaningful, God-honoring marriage. Do not be yoked
together with unbelievers, he says. For what do righteousness and
wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with
darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a
believer have in common with an unbeliever? That is one of the least
appreciated verses in Scripture. Some singles claim it sounds downright
discriminatory - a kind of spiritual apartheid: The white hats cant mix
with the black hats; Gods children are too good to marry unbelievers
But these questioning singles do have an understandable complaint. The
cal for spiritual compatibility does reduce the field. In fact, for many
singles it pares the number of eligible candidates down to a mere
handful. Still, we have grown weary of hearing God take a bad rap for
this passage. Weary of people trusting God with every area of their lives
except this one. Weary of people ignoring this passage. Distorting it.
Justifying disobeying it: Hes almost a believer; she says shell become
a believer after were married. Above all, we are weary of dealing with
the consequences people face when they make statements like that, and
then end up with a spiritually incompatible spouse. (Bill & Lynne
Hybels, Fit to be Tied: Making Marriages Last a Lifetime, Grand Rapids:
Zondervan Publishing House, 1991, pp. 47-48)

The truth is, God knows all about love. He knows more about love than
well ever get around to knowing in our numbered days. And this is what
He knows: when you receive Jesus Christ as your Savior and are
born-again, God is your first love. God is our first love. In response to
questions about the greatest commandment in the Law, Jesus replied, To
love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and
with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. (Matthew
22:37)

How can we be in love with someone else who does not also love our first
love? What does it say about our commitment to our first love when we are
willing to put God aside in favor to satisfy our feelings for someone who
does not love God? Try convincing someone you love how much you care
about them while, at the same time, you ignore spending time with them in
favor of other things that please you. Do you honestly think that they
believe your words without any appropriate action on your part? Dont you
think that God knows where He stands when you place Him on the back
burner so that you can have your relationship with an unbeliever? I think
God has us figured out enough to know whether we are being honest with
him or not.

Additionally, within the limits of His holiness and righteousness, God
wants the very best for us. He goes so far as to take our burdens upon
Himself. He went to the cross on our behalf. With all that He has done
and suffered on our account, dont you believe that God really does want
the best for us? Then believe also that God wants your marriage to
flourish and last. He doesnt want marriage to turn out to be a life of
miserable bondage. Nor does He want you to have to go through all the sad
bitterness and trauma of a divorce. He wants you to succeed.

So dont you see why He is so concerned about being yoked together with
an unbeliever? He is not trying to make your life miserable; He is trying
His hardest to bring joy into your lives. When married to unbeliever, you
will eventually find the place where your values go apart instead of grow
together. You will eventually find that your heart does long for your
first love, and that you want to worship God with fellow believers. But
your unbelieving husband or wife will resent the times you want to be
with God. He or she might make fun of your faith, or demand that you stop
going to church, or prevent you from teaching the Christian faith to your
little children. You will run into those times when you have to
compromise your faith in order to please your spouse, and then you have
to suffer the guilt of disobeying God.

Is that how you intend your marriage to turn out? A confinement where you
end up having to disrespect one love in order to please another? You will
end up pleasing no one, least of all yourself. And what about when that
unbelieving husband or wife dies? You have loved him or her all these
years and now are faced with an eternity apart. Is that how you see your
marriage ending here on earth?

God does not want this for you. He wants you to experience joy. Do you
realize that God is not some cruel tyrant seeking to keep us from having
our fun? Not at all. God knows that lives are filled with meaning when we
do love the Lord our God. So He teaches us how to realize our fullest
potentials by trying to prevent us from making mistakes that will lead us
away from Him. God is not trying to take us away from someone we might
love; he is trying to lead us toward the very person whom we can love,
and be loved by, without reservation, without guilt, without giving up
our first love.

I dont want anyone to feel defeated because of decisions that have
already been made and put into place. There are many who do not know
about these verses or who ignore them. This does not necessarily mean
that their marriages are doomed or consigned to misery. The grace and
love of God can still work in the lives of men and women who are
unequally yoked together. It has happened. It may not be an easy path,
but it can happen, and I believe that we should always live in and with
such hope.

But do not ignore what you already know. The best way to stay out of
hardship and trouble is to avoid it in the first place. If you are a
born-again Christian, then God is your first love. Do not accept anything
less, and do not place yourself in a situation where you believe that you
have to compromise your love for God. I believe that God really does know
what is best for us and that when we follow Him obediently, and love Him
obediently, then we will be given blessings of success in our marriages,
families, our work, and any other endeavor we may pursue through which
God can be glorified.

Love is in the air. But not because of a Valentines day or because a
researcher uses formulas for marriage. Love is in the air because the
Spirit of God is in this place and with us. God is love. And because of
that, we, too, can know what love is. God wants the best for us, so be a
willing servant and follow Him and trust Him, especially in matters of
love.

Rev. Charles A. Layne, pastor, First Baptist Church, Bunker Hill, IN

________________________________________________________________
The best thing to hit the Internet in years - Juno SpeedBand!
Surf the Web up to FIVE TIMES FASTER!
Only $14.95/ month - visit http://www.juno.com to sign up today!