Quote from Forum Archives on October 11, 2005, 12:49 pm

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

Dear Hope Chest friends,

Stever and Terri Maxwell sent out this newsletter a couple of weeks ago,
just as I was compiling my own issue of the Hope Chest. Terri's message
for Moms reaffirmed what I was trying to say about being faaithful, and
they have graciously given me permission to forward this to you.

Blessings,
Virginia Knowles
www.TheHopeChest.net

--------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Maxwell Family - Dad's & Mom's Corners"
<[email protected]>
Date: Fri, 30 Sep 2005
Subject: October Dad's and Mom's Corners

Dear Friends,

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the
ground
and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit"
(John 12:24).

As a homeschooling mom, do you feel discouraged that there never seems to
be
enough time for you? This is a perfect month to read Teri's Corner,
called,
What About Me? Part 1. Steve continues Part 3 of his series on practical
projects for children. Both Dad and Mom will be encouraged by the Dad's
Corner! To go along with Steve's article, we have compiled a page of
pictures, depicting the Maxwell's shed work project. Visit this link to
view
them - www.titus2.com/maxwell-work-projects.htm

We have scheduled a weekend conference, Encouragement for the Homeschool
Family, in the Washington D.C. area, October 14-15th. If you would like
to
attend, please register right away. For more information on the
conference
(or any of our speaking engagements) or to register online:
www.titus2.com/w-speaking-schedule.htm We will also be doing a
small
evening conference in Raytown, Missouri, on November 14th.

We pray that the Lord will richly bless you and your family. May it be
our
hearts' desire to win souls to Jesus and be ambassadors of our Savior and
King!

Only for Jesus,
The Maxwells
Steve, Teri, Nathan & Melanie, Christopher, Sarah, Joseph, John, Anna,
Jesse, and Mary

The Maxwells have written seven books. For more information, you may
check
out: www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/view_main.php/1

www.Titus2.com
www.HomeschooleCards.com
www.PreparingSons.com
www.PreparingDaughters.com

PS - If you have a change of address, please send an e-mail from your old
account to [email protected]. To subscribe from your new
account send an e-mail to [email protected]. If you would like
to
stop receiving this monthly mailing, please send a blank e-mail to
[email protected], and our mailing list software will take
it
from there.

------------------------------------------------------------
October Mom's Corner
What About Me?
Part 1
------------------------------------------------------------

Here is a portion of an e-mail I recently received: "I am a homeschooling
mother (31) of five children (ages 13 years, 12 years, 10 years, 6 years,
and 21 months) and a pastor's wife. I can never sit down at the end of
the
day, have an accomplished feeling, and say 'My job is done for the day.'
I
feel so burdened and pulled from so many directions. My house is pretty
organized. My children have chores. They are very good kids, and we have
many compliments on them. People seem to just adore our family, yet I
feel
so?!? I do love my family and would not trade it for the world. It just
seems so hard keeping up all the time. When I turn my attention toward
one
thing, another is lacking; children, husband, housework, church, ladies
meetings . . . How about just relaxing or fun??? What's that? It's like
there is not enough of me to get it all done. I am not a lazy person. I
work
too hard, wear down, and get frustrated. It's like a cycle." A tired
homeschool mom (used by permission)

This is a typical e-mail for me to find in my inbox. It forthrightly and
honestly speaks of the reality of a homeschooling lifestyle. I can
personally relate to this mom's thoughts and feelings because I have had
to
deal with them myself. Because of these struggles, I have taken my
questions
to the Lord to seek His truth. I wanted to understand what He says about
this rather than what others -- even homeschool moms -- might say.

Through my over twenty years of homeschooling, I find a propensity within
homeschool circles, when faced with the issues this mom raises, to give
advice along the lines of: slow down, find an easier curriculum, do less
school, go easy on yourself, don't expect too much of yourself or the
children, take a break, and get housekeeping help. Any of these might be
the
solution to this mom's problems. However, I have discovered a difficult,
but
exciting, truth in my study of Scripture as it relates to being a
homeschool
mom. This Scriptural direction does not endorse the same counsel that we
tend to like to give each other; I, too, am quite prone to want to give
encouragement in the direction of easing up. Instead, the Word takes a
consistently strong stand on what I have come to see is, plainly and
simply,
hard work.

During my Bible reading time, I went through the New Testament with an
eye
for verses that applied to what our expectations as homeschooling moms
should be considering the workload we face. How much work should we have
to
do? Can I expect to have personal time to do what I want to do? What
about
taking care of me? What does Scripture have to say that would apply to
these
types of questions?

As I made my study, I looked for verses that indicated I was entitled to
fun, entertainment, relaxation, or some kind of focus on me. I wouldn't
have
minded finding some Biblical admonition for this propensity of my flesh.
I
have to admit I was disappointed, but not surprised, not to be able to
discover any verses that applied. I found many verses that had to do with
being a servant, dying to self, and taking up my cross. However, I didn't
find one verse that mentioned or even alluded to fun, entertainment, or
relaxation.

Verses I felt applied to having time for myself were ones that dealt with
spiritual growth, such as, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a
workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of
truth"
(2 Timothy 2:15). Or, "But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our
Lord
and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever" (2 Peter
3:18). From these kinds of verses I could glean the importance of having
time set aside in my day to spend with the Lord, reading the Word,
praying,
and memorizing Scripture. This wasn't specifically stated, but rather it
was
implied because of the outcome to be gained. Time for Teri was to be
spent
allowing the Lord Jesus to spiritually teach, grow, and nurture me. I
couldn't find where it was to be selfishly spent doing what I wanted to
do.

I am not saying that as homeschool moms we can never do something we
enjoy
for ourselves or that we can never relax. What I am trying to convey is
that
in Scripture we find a different picture than the world gives us of our
role
as mothers and our workload. The world's view of work, almost any kind of
work, is that it is to be accomplished as quickly as possible so that we
are
free to pursue our personal pleasures. That kind of pleasure is all the
world has for which to live. When my expectations become set on having to
have time for my own entertainment, I find myself grappling for what
doesn't
satisfy and disappointed in the process. My focus becomes myself, easily
filled with self-pity in what I might be missing and dissatisfaction with
what I am accomplishing, much like the e-mail you just read in the
beginning
of this Mom's Corner.

The Lord Jesus is telling me through His Word that my focus is not to be
on
how to get time for fun. Instead it is to be on Himself. John 15 tells me
that I am to abide in Him, and He in me. When my thoughts are on Him,
then
my heart wants to be obedient more than it wants to serve self and be
free
of its workload. In the midst of that obedience comes the hard work
associated with serving others, giving of my time and energy, and
actually
dying to self. However, with that sacrifice come the joy and contentment
Paul talks about in Philippians 4.

In the next months, I want to continue looking into the workload of a
homeschooling mom and our expectations. I plan to share particular verses
that helped me deal with my thoughts and attitudes about this. May we
each
be a mom who chooses to obediently follow Jesus Christ, having a
servant's
heart, without listening to the lies of the world.

Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit,
www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1120, has been
an
encouragement to many moms (even non homeschoolers) as they seek to have
the
spirit that God desires us to exhibit. I share from many years of
experience
and what the Lord has taught me and is continuing to teach me. An
accompanying study guide is also available. Quite a few ladies are using
the
book and guide as a group study.

Teri Maxwell

Written by Teri Maxwell, co-author of Managers of Their Homes: A
Practical
Guide to Daily Scheduling for Christian Homeschool Families, Keeping Our
Children's Hearts: Our Vital Priority, Just Around the Corner:
Encouragement
and Challenge for Homeschooling Dads and Moms and author of Homeschooling
with a Meek and Quiet Spirit.

Teri Maxwell is the mother of eight children and began homeschooling in
1985. Three of her children have graduated from homeschool, two are still
living in their home and one is married. Teri is a homeschool conference
speaker and has been writing monthly articles of encouragement for
homeschooling moms since 1990.

To subscribe to free monthly Dad's and Mom's Corner e-mails send a blank
e-mail to [email protected] and our mailing list software will
take it from there. Or you can sign the guest book at
www.Titus2.com

------------------------------------------------------------
October Dad's Corner (and for moms, too!)
Practical Projects for Our Children
A Few Examples
Part 3
------------------------------------------------------------

Please note: We recommend Steve's book, Preparing Sons to Provide for a
Single-Income Family
(titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1130), as an
important resource for raising sons. Steve shares from Scripture and his
own
experience with five sons. His oldest, Nathan, purchased a home debt-free
at
the age of 24, before he married. Christopher, the second son, is also
able
to do the same. To find out more about the book (which also comes in an
unabridged audiobook), please check out -
titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1130

If you missed Part 1, you may read it here:
www.titus2.com/corners/8-05-d.htm and Part 2,
www.titus2.com/corners/9-05-d.htm

Just prior to Jesse's eleventh birthday, we had purchased a device from a
local lumber store that required assembly. As I gazed into the box of
pieces, I was reminded of years gone by when just before Christmas I
would
be up late putting together things that we had purchased for the
children's
gifts. They weren't difficult to assemble, but they certainly took time.
That was the case with this item, not difficult, but it would take time
that
I didn't have available.

Shortly after bringing the item home, Jesse asked if he could assemble
it. I
agreed to his offer while telling him I would need to oversee his work
because what he was assembling was somewhat fragile. He was happy to wait
until I could get him started. It took a small portion of two evenings
just
before dinner for Jesse to complete his project. He was delighted that he
had been able to put it together.

I had not asked Jesse to do something like this before, and it turned out
to
be a great project for him. It came with large multiple-page, fold-out
instructions. He had to match up the bolts and hardware with pictures to
determine the right piece to use. Like often is the case, the graphics
didn't correlate fully with the parts in his hand, so there were
decisions
that had to be made during assembly as to the correct piece. Helping him
learn how to evaluate if he really was using the right part if it didn't
match the instructions was as valuable as learning to work with his
hands.
What good is the ability to put something together, if you are using the
wrong parts?

Jesse's next project is waiting for him on my workbench -- a mountain
dulcimer kit. With my help fourteen-year-old John built a dulcimer for
Mary
earlier this year. Jesse said he wanted to build one, too, so that is his
subsequent project. The kit was a little beyond John's abilities and will
likely be significantly beyond Jesse's. I say "likely" because each child
is
different, and it is amazing how one child may excel where others his age
struggled. However, Jesse will gain added familiarity in following
difficult
instructions, and it will provide some excellent quality time for the two
of
us.

Currently, I have asked Jesse to read and re-read the instructions so he
will know what needs to be done. When he says he is ready, I will look
over
the instructions and ask him questions about the process to see if he
understands what needs to be done. He was supposed to ask me if he
couldn't
figure out an instruction step.

Kits and other items that need to be assembled are great learning tools.
We
prefer that they make a useful product as opposed to hobby model kits
which
will just cost money, collect dust and might create an appetite for it as
a
future hobby. We desire that our children spend their time in beneficial
pursuits that will teach them meaningful skills or allow them to bless
others.

Twelve-year-old Anna loves gardening. Therefore, we are helping to
"cultivate" her knowledge and skills in that area. In the spring, we gave
her a number of places where she could plant flowers in the front of the
house. She was quite adventurous and brought home an encyclopedia worth
of
seed varieties. She is learning about the different types of flowers and
how
well they grow in various environments in our yard.

With the addition of a deck and shed to our shrinking backyard, we have
now
begun to restore what grassy area remains. Therefore, another project for
Anna is what plant life we will have back there. First, I have asked her
to
create a scale drawing of the backyard. For someone who has never done
that
before, this can involve a significant challenge. Next, she will draw it
on
the computer so we can experiment with different plant variations easily.
We
will discuss multiple plant possibilities, their advantages, negatives
and
costs as she does her research. Then she will help find them, buy them,
plant them, and care for them.

Do you see how there are countless projects available to every parent to
gainfully challenge their children as opposed to mindlessly entertaining
them? It is a matter of asking the Lord Jesus to give you creativity and
show you how to give your children the skills they will need in life.

Some might say, "Well the examples you used involved buying things, and
we
don't have much money." First, let me encourage you to check your heart.
If
your child wanted to go out for baseball, football, or soccer, would you
not
expect to pay something for them to participate? AND FOR WHAT BENEFIT?
Often, I encourage my children to examine their hearts when they
encounter
problems when complying with my request. Are they seeking solutions to
the
hindrance or looking for reasons why they can't complete it? Do we
believe
Jesus is able to save our souls? Yes, of course! Then, isn't it a small
thing for Him to open our eyes to the things around us as we pray and ask
Jesus for direction as to what projects will help train our children? I
can't see into your homes, but I have no doubt that if I was visiting
your
family, within a few hours we would have more projects listed than the
children have time for.

Projects are great ways to help neighbors. For example, Anna could help
her
grandmother, who lives next door, with many of the same kinds of plant
decisions if we were unable to purchase our own. If we didn't have a
computer with a drawing program, she could hand draw it all on paper. The
boys help the neighbors with projects and love doing it. None of those
cost
us anything, and they are blessed in the process.

Most families will purchase items on an occasional basis that require
assembly and these provide excellent opportunities for children to gain
experience. Often times, girls can benefit from this kind of proficiency
as
much as the boys.

Learning to sew is another great example of a project for girls which can
yield lifetime benefits. What could be more practical than ending up with
clothes to wear? Learning to follow the directions alone provides
excellent
skills. They are spending time with Mom, they are learning to follow
directions, and they end up with something practical. For years it has
been
difficult to find modest dresses/jumpers in stores. That is the main
reason
why our girls learn to sew, but look at all the other benefits that are
gained by this investment of time.

Anna wasn't thrilled with learning to sew initially, but is really liking
it
now. I think sometimes parents hinder themselves by not assigning a
project
because they don't think the child would enjoy it. May I encourage you to
repent of that sort of attitude? It is consistent with an entertainment,
flesh-pleasing mindset and not conducive for raising men and women of
God.
Our children may not enjoy something at first and then come to really
enjoy
it. However, it is possible they may never come to like something, and
that
is okay as well. There are many things that we do in life that we don't
enjoy doing, but we must. Changing diapers, changing the oil in the car,
fixing a leaky faucet might not be what we enjoy most, but they all have
to
be done.

I encourage you to always manage the risk as you teach your children
through
projects. Consider safety issues, risks with tools, and possible damage
of
what they are working on. Even after carefully assessing dangers, we must
realize they are still children and capable of doing dumb things. I
surprise
even myself sometimes in my ability to do something stupid when I should
have known better. We must anticipate our children having similar
"abilities."

Training our children through projects will take our time. If our hearts
are
turned towards our children, we will love these opportunities to work
with
them. If our hearts are not turned towards our children, we will have
lots
of excuses why we can't do it. It all begins with our hearts. First, our
hearts should be turned towards the Lord Jesus, Colossians 3:1-2, "If ye
then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where
Christ
sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not
on
things on the earth." Next, our hearts must be turned toward our
children,
"And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the
heart
of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a
curse" (Malachi 4:6). May we love our children and prepare them for life
by
using every opportunity before us. We only have them in our homes for a
short time.

Steve Maxwell

Written by Steven Maxwell, co-author of Managers of Their Homes: A
Practical
Guide to Daily Scheduling for Christian Homeschool Families, Keeping Our
Children's Hearts: Our Vital Priority, Just Around the Corner:
Encouragement
and Challenge for Homeschooling Dads and Moms, and author of Preparing
Sons
to Provide for a Single-Income Family.

Steve Maxwell is the father of eight children. His family began
homeschooling in 1985. In 1997, the Lord brought Steve home to run his
own
business, and he now enjoys the privilege of working with his two grown
sons
and one grown daughter. Steve is a homeschool conference speaker and has
been writing monthly articles of encouragement for homeschooling dads
since
1990.

To subscribe to free monthly Dad's and Mom's Corner e-mails send a blank
e-mail to [email protected] and our mailing list software will
take it from there. Or you can sign the guest book at
www.Titus2.com.

------------------------------------------------------------
If you would like to stop receiving this monthly mailing, please send a
blank e-mail to [email protected] and our mailing list
software
will take it from there.

Please direct reprint inquiries to [email protected]

Selected Dad's and Mom's Corners are available at our web site:
www.Titus2.com

(Over five years' worth of Dad's & Mom's Corners, have been compiled into
one book entitled, Just Around the Corner: Encouragement and Challenge
for
Christian Homeschooling Dads and Moms
(www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1125). For
more
information, please visit our web-site, www.Titus2.com.)
------------------------------------------------------------

----All Scripture is quoted from the King James Version.

Copyright 2005 Managers of Their Homes

Managers of Their Homes
2416 S. 15th St.
Leavenworth, Kansas 66048