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motherhood
#1 · October 2, 2001, 9:43 pm
Posted by: empalo <empalo@...>
>From the time I could walk I heald a doll in my arms. I played dolls, baby dolls until I was
14 years old. All I ever wanted to be was a mommy. Never really imagined myself much
else. I quit medical school when I got married. The only was I was going to be a Dr was
if I never met anyone to marry. When I met my husband, I left school.
I got pregnant right after we were married but we lost our first little one. On our 18th month
anniversary we had our oldest daughter. Then another daughter was born 2 years 9 months
later, just as the march of dimes reccomends !
But after two the pressure was on to not have more from family members. We fell into that
trap and had my tubes tied. I cried right away, I knew it was a mistake.
I fell into prayer and asked God to forgive me. In three years, a friend of mine did the reversal
for me, free of charge, and the hospital where my husband works paid the bill.
In the years to follow we lost three babies to miscarriage. Then the story of the adoption,
But even now, at 47 I have hope. I still wonder if God might decide to give us one more
blessing. I buy baby clothes, the wonderful smocked and heirloom kind when I see them
in thrift stores. I say now they are for my future grandchildren, but I still have empty longing
arms of my own. Children are so amazing, so precious and such a gift.
I miss that sweet smell of baby hair and baby breath. The way they snuggle into your shoulder
and each new stage.
I have an uncle with 22 children. When I was little I wanted to be like him. I think I still do !
God knows what is best and as hard as it is for me to do so, I am going to trust that HE knows
best.
My husband is not wanting to adopt any more, since having such a difficult son to deal with.
He is afraid that this boy will cause harm to a younger sibling.
Just my rantings for the night.
Pat
14 years old. All I ever wanted to be was a mommy. Never really imagined myself much
else. I quit medical school when I got married. The only was I was going to be a Dr was
if I never met anyone to marry. When I met my husband, I left school.
I got pregnant right after we were married but we lost our first little one. On our 18th month
anniversary we had our oldest daughter. Then another daughter was born 2 years 9 months
later, just as the march of dimes reccomends !
But after two the pressure was on to not have more from family members. We fell into that
trap and had my tubes tied. I cried right away, I knew it was a mistake.
I fell into prayer and asked God to forgive me. In three years, a friend of mine did the reversal
for me, free of charge, and the hospital where my husband works paid the bill.
In the years to follow we lost three babies to miscarriage. Then the story of the adoption,
But even now, at 47 I have hope. I still wonder if God might decide to give us one more
blessing. I buy baby clothes, the wonderful smocked and heirloom kind when I see them
in thrift stores. I say now they are for my future grandchildren, but I still have empty longing
arms of my own. Children are so amazing, so precious and such a gift.
I miss that sweet smell of baby hair and baby breath. The way they snuggle into your shoulder
and each new stage.
I have an uncle with 22 children. When I was little I wanted to be like him. I think I still do !
God knows what is best and as hard as it is for me to do so, I am going to trust that HE knows
best.
My husband is not wanting to adopt any more, since having such a difficult son to deal with.
He is afraid that this boy will cause harm to a younger sibling.
Just my rantings for the night.
Pat