Quote from Forum Archives on November 4, 2005, 2:05 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Mother's Maintenance Manual"

Many of us take better care of our cars then we do our mothers and yet we  only expect our cars to last 5 or 6 years but we expect our mothers to last  for a lifetime. Maybe we need a maintenance manual for mothers so we would  know how to take care of them at least as well as we do our automobiles.  Here are some items that might be included in such a manual.  - Engine: A mother's engine is one of the most dependable kinds you can  find. She can reach top speed from a prone position at a single cry from a  sleeping child. But regular breaks are needed to keep up that peak  performance.  Mothers need a hot bath and a nap every 100 miles, a baby-sitter and a  night out every 1,000 miles, and a live in baby-sitter with a one week  vacation every 10,000 miles.  - Battery: Mother's batteries should be recharged regularly. Handmade items,  notes, unexpected hugs and kisses, and frequent "I love you's" will do very  well for a recharge.  - Carburetor: When a mother's carburetor floods, it should be treated  immediately with Kleenex and a soft shoulder.  - Brakes: See that she uses her brakes to slow down often and come to a full  stop occasionally. (A squeaking sound indicates a need for a rest.)  - Fuel: Most mothers can run indefinitely on coffee, left overs and salads,  but an occasional dinner for two at a nice restaurant will really add to her  efficiency.  - Chassis: Mothers run best when their bodies are properly maintained.  Regular exercise should be encouraged and provided for as necessary. A  change in hairdo or makeup in spring and fall are also helpful. If you notice  the chassis begins to sag, immediately start a program of walking, jogging,  swimming, or bike riding. These are most effective when done with fathers.  - Tune-ups: Mother needs regular tune-ups. Compliments are both the cheapest  and most effective way to keep a mother purring contentedly.  If these instructions are followed consistently, this fantastic creation and  gift from God that we call MOTHER should last a lifetime and give good  service and constant love to those who need her most.

 

"THANK YOU, LORD"

Thank you for this sink of dirty dishes; we have plenty of food to eat.  Thank you for this pile of dirty, stinky laundry; we have plenty of nice clothes to wear.  And I would like to thank you, Lord, for those unmade beds; they were so warm and comfortable last night. I know that many have no bed.  My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom, complete with all the splattered mess, soggy, grimy towels and dirty lavatory; they are so convenient. Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator that needs defrosting so badly; it has served us faithfully for many years. It is full of cold drinks and enough leftovers for two or three meals.  Thank you, Lord, for this oven that absolutely must be cleaned today; it has baked so many things over the years. The whole family is grateful for that tall grass that needs mowing, the lawn that needs raking; we all enjoy the yard.   Thank you, Lord, even for that slamming screen door. My kids are healthy and able to run and play. Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me says You have richly blessed my family.  I shall do them cheerfully and I shall do them gratefully.  Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings, Thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf. Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible, Thank you, Lord, that I can see. Many are blind. Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising, Thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden. Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, Toast is burned and tempers are short, my children are so loud, Thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely. Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the menu is at times not balanced, Thank you, Lord, for the food we have. There are many who are hungry. Even though the routine of my job is often monotonous, Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job. Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest, Thank you, Lord, for life. LORD, THANK YOU !!!! In ALL things, praise Him

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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