Quote from Forum Archives on May 6, 2007, 7:57 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Mother's Wedding Dress"

 

A couple was getting married, and it was only
three days before the wedding. The bride calls her mother with some bad news. "Mom," she says, "I just found out that my fiance's mother has bought the exact same dress as you to wear to the wedding."

 

The bride's mother thinks for a minute. "Don't worry," she tells her daughter. "I'll just go and buy another dress to wear to the ceremony."

 

"But mother," says the bride, "that dress cost a fortune. What will you do with it? It's such a waste not to use it."

 

"Who said I won't use it?" her mother asked.
"I'll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner."

 

"The Obedient Wife"

 

 

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his
money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife... "When I die, I want you
to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take
my money to the afterlife with me."

 

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that
when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

 

Well, he died.

 

He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was sitting there -
dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got
ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!"
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and
put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and
they rolled it away.

 

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put
all that money in there with your husband."

 

The loyal wife replied, I cannot go back on
my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the
casket with him."

 

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"

 

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my
account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, he can spend it."

Thanks John for sending this to us.

 

"Consultation Fee"

 

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, b-lines for 
the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter.

 

The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a 
dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my 
store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat 
from the dog's owner?"

 

"Absolutely," the lawyer responded.

 

The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You owe me 
$7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."

 

The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check 
for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher, browsing through 
his mail, finds an envelope from the lawyer.

 

The contents read "Consultation: $25.00."
Thanks Brian for sending this to us.

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

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