MY KIND OF CREDIT CARD Wednesday

#1 · September 26, 2006, 7:04 pm

Quote from Forum Archives on September 26, 2006, 7:04 pm
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"MY KIND OF CREDIT CARD"



I'm a card carrying representative for
The Master's Card.

There are no finance charges, no payments due.
My bill has already been covered...it' s a prepaid deal..
I couldn't afford the price, so Jesus paid it for me.

My Name is written on the card for all to see.

It is accessible twenty-hour hours a day from anywhere in the world.

The MASTER'S CARD
has so many benefits it's hard to list them all.

Just for starters there is UNLIMITED GRACE.
That's right, there is no preset limit to the amount of grace you receive from
The MASTER'S CARD.

Have you been looking for love in all the wrong places?
Then, look no farther than The MASTER'S CARD.

It offers the greatest rate on love that has ever been offered.

The MASTER'S CARD

gives you access to many "members only" benefits.
Want real joy despite the difficulties of life?
Apply for The MASTER'S CARD.

Want a lasting peace? Apply for
The MASTER'S CARD.

Looking for something you can always rely on in a jam?
The MASTER'S CARD is perfect for you.

Another great thing about
The MASTER'S CARD
is that it never expires and will never be canceled.
Once you're a member, you're a member for life... eternal life, that is.
Membership has its privileges, you know.

So why not apply today?

It's only a prayer away.

"WHITE LIE CAKE"



Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially all of the ladies who bake for church events.

Alice was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church ladies' group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.

She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing and helping her son pack up for Scout camp. But when Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured.

She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake."

This cake was so important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of new friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect!

Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened at 9:30, and to buy that cake and bring it home.

When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the attractive perfect cake had already been sold and she grabbed her cell phone and called her mom.

Alice was horrified. She was beside herself. Everyone would know, what would they think? Oh my, she wailed! She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed. All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think about the cake and she would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a friend of a
friend and try to have a good time. Alice did not really want to
attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of their church, but having already RSVP'd she could not think of a believable excuse to stay home.

The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust and to Alices horror, the CAKE in question was presented for dessert.
Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake, she started, out of her chair to rush to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!"

Alice, who was still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I baked it myself."

Alice smiled and thought to herself, "God is good."

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara



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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"MY KIND OF CREDIT CARD"

I'm a card carrying representative for
The Master's Card.

There are no finance charges, no payments due.
My bill has already been covered...it' s a prepaid deal..
I couldn't afford the price, so Jesus paid it for me.

My Name is written on the card for all to see.

It is accessible twenty-hour hours a day from anywhere in the world.

The MASTER'S CARD
has so many benefits it's hard to list them all.

Just for starters there is UNLIMITED GRACE.
That's right, there is no preset limit to the amount of grace you receive from
The MASTER'S CARD.

Have you been looking for love in all the wrong places?
Then, look no farther than The MASTER'S CARD.

It offers the greatest rate on love that has ever been offered.

The MASTER'S CARD

gives you access to many "members only" benefits.
Want real joy despite the difficulties of life?
Apply for The MASTER'S CARD.

Want a lasting peace? Apply for
The MASTER'S CARD.

Looking for something you can always rely on in a jam?
The MASTER'S CARD is perfect for you.

Another great thing about
The MASTER'S CARD
is that it never expires and will never be canceled.
Once you're a member, you're a member for life... eternal life, that is.
Membership has its privileges, you know.

So why not apply today?

It's only a prayer away.

"WHITE LIE CAKE"

Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially all of the ladies who bake for church events.

Alice was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church ladies' group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.

She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing and helping her son pack up for Scout camp. But when Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured.

She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake."

This cake was so important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of new friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect!

Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened at 9:30, and to buy that cake and bring it home.

When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the attractive perfect cake had already been sold and she grabbed her cell phone and called her mom.

Alice was horrified. She was beside herself. Everyone would know, what would they think? Oh my, she wailed! She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed. All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think about the cake and she would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a friend of a
friend and try to have a good time. Alice did not really want to
attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of their church, but having already RSVP'd she could not think of a believable excuse to stay home.

The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust and to Alices horror, the CAKE in question was presented for dessert.
Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake, she started, out of her chair to rush to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!"

Alice, who was still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I baked it myself."

Alice smiled and thought to herself, "God is good."

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

Necessary Legal Information

We do not mail idea-central unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

Normal Subscribe: idea-central-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: idea-central-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Web Subscribe: idea-central-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: idea-central-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Email Group Owner: idea-central-owner@associate.com

-- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: idea-central-unsubscribe@associate.com