Pretty Fishy
Posted by: clean-hewmor <clean-hewmor@...>
A housewife was having several couples over for dinner that night, so she wanted
to cook something special. She slaved for hours that afternoon and finally
created a masterpiece. Salmon mousse.
Just before her guests arrived, she caught her cat nibbling away at the dish on
the dining room table. She had worked so hard that she couldn't throw the
mousse away, so she smoothed it over and served it anyway.
Well, the mousse was a hit. Everyone took seconds or thirds. Proudly she stood
to bring the empty plate out to the kitchen and looked out the window.
There, next to the house, lay her cat. Dead. She had to confess to her guests
that she'd served mousse eaten by the cat and now the cat was dead.
The entire dinner party rushed to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped.
The housewife, who hadn't eaten any because she knew her cat had, lay in
bed--mourning the passing of her cat and fearing that the same fate could befall
her guests.
Then, the phone rang. It was her next door neighbor who said, "I'm sorry about
your cat. I should have told you that I ran her over but I was just so ashamed
and saw that you had a dinner party in progress....So I just put her on your
lawn."
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Flat Tire
"Can you fix my flat tire sir?" he asked.
"No sir, I'm sorry. We sell tires, but we don't have the equipment to fix them,"
replied the young clerk. "We usually tell folks to take their car to the
Ashland station down theroad."
"But I just passed the Ashland station. It's closed!"
"Hmmm, That's right. They do close at 5. Well we do have Fix-A-Flat. It can't
really fix your tire, but it may get you down the road to the next station."
"I'll try it," the customer answered. He paid with cash and started out the
door.
"Sir," said the young clerk, "Be sure your valve stem is at either 4 or 8
o'clock when you fill it, OK?"
"OK," he answered. He then went outside, looked at the tire, looked at his
watch, re-entered the store and asked, "Sir, it's a quarter-to-four, think it'd
be alright to go ahead and fill that tire now?"
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Fighting Fish
Sports is a very important facet of life, even in the fish kingdom. There, about
to begin in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, was the Heavy-Weight Fish Boxing
Championship of the World. In one corner of the ring was a sea-trout and in the
other, an Atlantic Salmon....both with proven records. Neither had ever lost a
bout.
Things were pretty much even for the first few rounds.....the salmon just
slightly ahead on points. hen came the 5th round....the sea-trout caught the
salmon with a left hook....and smoked him.