Quote from Forum Archives on October 2, 2001, 4:44 pm

Posted by: dhaley <dhaley@...>

Serena,

I don't think you are crazy at all for wanting to mother your entire life.
Many months back someone posed a question for thought on a homeschooling
list I used to be on. The question was "if you were not homeschooling and
could choose anything to do with your time, carreer, etc. what would you be
doing with your life?". I never did respond because it upset me so much. I
know that sounds weird but God used that statement to cause me to do some
soul searching. I have passed up many opportunities in life that at the
time seemed devestating. I once was working for a stock brokerage firm, I
loved the fast paced exec type life, but God intervened and I wanted to be
home with my newborn child. I had three opportunities to professionally
vocally record, after prayer, I turned those down too, it would take me away
from my children, I then had the opportunity to pastor fulltime, again, I
prayed, I closed the door. All of the above things were things I dearly
enjoyed and had dreamed about doing all my life but when the rubber met the
road, my children were more important to me than those careers. To be
honest, there have been times I've looked back and cried, wondering if I'd
made the wrong choices, passed up opportunities that prehaps God meant for
me to take. Then came this simple, conversation starting request on an
email list....boom...I was deep in thought. It troubled me for days. If I
could choose from this day forward anything I'd like to do with my life what
would my heart tell me to do. I prayed about it. I really wanted to know,
my children will be gone from the home within 5 years. What did I want to
do with my life? I came to one solid conclusion. I really love children.
I was no longer sad or frustrated that I'd passed up opportunities that
others so desired. I wanted more children and I desire them very much. As
hubby and I lay in bed just talking this morning he hugged me and said
"what's wrong"? I said, you know, I love being a mother, I love watching
those little light bulbs turn on in children's eyes. I loved looking out
the window to see my son drive the tractor for the first time...that beaming
face. The look on my daughters face the first time she made the yarn
perfectly on her spinning wheel. Nothing in life has brought me any more
satisfaction than raising children. He hugged me again and encouraged me
that God would bring children into our life when it was God's timing. I
know that's true but I feel like time is against me. Thanks to everyone
that shared about adoption. I know we could possibly adopt a special needs
child but with my husbands work schedule I think it would be more than we
could handle as a family. We've often thought of adopting a deaf child
since my husband is deaf in one ear and we have deaf members of our family.
I don't know. I guess I'll just have to wait on the Lord some
more....blessings to all...Deanna