Re: Helping Jan

#1 · September 26, 2013, 2:23 pm

Quote from Forum Archives on September 26, 2013, 2:23 pm
Posted by: marmali <marmali@...>

One lady called me last night and wanted to know how Jan was doing, so I told her the truth about the cancer being everywhere. Then, she immediately asked to help next week. Jan and her husband act surprised that hospice is talking about end-of-life for Jan, so I been hesitant to be blunt when both of them seem to think this is just a temporary setback in her life. My main statement to everyone and in the emails is that she can't be left alone because she'll fall, but most everyone knows her cancer history, and knows her current situation reflects deterioration/more disease. I figure people who are really concerned will want to know the whole, sad truth.

There are quite a few church friends who think all of us should be walking in "divine health" with healing for every affliction, that if we have enough belief and realize what Jesus did on the cross, we won't continue to be sick or poor or depressed or whatever. Some of them won't even SPEAK that she has cancer because they believe they should only be speaking divine health and won't utter or listen to any words that name/claim/confess any sort of disease. This earth is not going to be perfect, it's not Eden, but they seem to think it should be. Stating medical facts doesn't mean I don't believe God can and may do a miracle. I'm not "claiming" cancer for her. Watching Jan fall down because of brain tumors and then a person not helping because he or she doesn't want to believe she has those tumors doesn't make any sense to me!! God tells us not to tell starving people to go in peace while failing to meet their need for food. Even if God miraculously heals her and all cancer is gone.....today, she needs helpers!

I was expressing my frustration with people yesterday to a really neat woman. She had said she would come stay all day, cook three meals, change diapers if necessary, give meds, WHATEVER Jan needed, she would do it. I told her what some people had said. She told me to not judge them, that some people won't help because they don't want to see what's in their future which is death. Seeing someone's body failing and seeing end-of-life struggles hits too close to home with people, and they are forced to confront their own fears.

Well, I can empathize with that a those fears a tiny bit, but bottom line, I have been hearing a lot of selfishness and self-centered attitudes. We know it's prevalent in the human race and in the church but hearing it in her close, Christian friends makes me NUTS! No one wants to think about dying, but our focus should be on the hurting person, not on what's comfortable for us. I am sad for the people who will miss their chance to be with Jan, who will miss a chance to serve her in love and to be blessed in return. Some people are afraid they'll be sad seeing her and will cry. Well, that's okay! All-in-all, I've had a real wake-up call when it comes to people and helping. I wanted to throw my phone against the wall several times in the last few days, but I remained polite even when I wanted to say some strong words to people.

Currently, we are covered this week and pretty much next week. God has been faithful to bring people my way, and His hands are all over what's happened so far. I always love watching God work out all the little details 🙂 Lisa NM

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Posted by: marmali <marmali@...>

One lady called me last night and wanted to know how Jan was doing, so I told her the truth about the cancer being everywhere. Then, she immediately asked to help next week. Jan and her husband act surprised that hospice is talking about end-of-life for Jan, so I been hesitant to be blunt when both of them seem to think this is just a temporary setback in her life. My main statement to everyone and in the emails is that she can't be left alone because she'll fall, but most everyone knows her cancer history, and knows her current situation reflects deterioration/more disease. I figure people who are really concerned will want to know the whole, sad truth.

There are quite a few church friends who think all of us should be walking in "divine health" with healing for every affliction, that if we have enough belief and realize what Jesus did on the cross, we won't continue to be sick or poor or depressed or whatever. Some of them won't even SPEAK that she has cancer because they believe they should only be speaking divine health and won't utter or listen to any words that name/claim/confess any sort of disease. This earth is not going to be perfect, it's not Eden, but they seem to think it should be. Stating medical facts doesn't mean I don't believe God can and may do a miracle. I'm not "claiming" cancer for her. Watching Jan fall down because of brain tumors and then a person not helping because he or she doesn't want to believe she has those tumors doesn't make any sense to me!! God tells us not to tell starving people to go in peace while failing to meet their need for food. Even if God miraculously heals her and all cancer is gone.....today, she needs helpers!

I was expressing my frustration with people yesterday to a really neat woman. She had said she would come stay all day, cook three meals, change diapers if necessary, give meds, WHATEVER Jan needed, she would do it. I told her what some people had said. She told me to not judge them, that some people won't help because they don't want to see what's in their future which is death. Seeing someone's body failing and seeing end-of-life struggles hits too close to home with people, and they are forced to confront their own fears.

Well, I can empathize with that a those fears a tiny bit, but bottom line, I have been hearing a lot of selfishness and self-centered attitudes. We know it's prevalent in the human race and in the church but hearing it in her close, Christian friends makes me NUTS! No one wants to think about dying, but our focus should be on the hurting person, not on what's comfortable for us. I am sad for the people who will miss their chance to be with Jan, who will miss a chance to serve her in love and to be blessed in return. Some people are afraid they'll be sad seeing her and will cry. Well, that's okay! All-in-all, I've had a real wake-up call when it comes to people and helping. I wanted to throw my phone against the wall several times in the last few days, but I remained polite even when I wanted to say some strong words to people.

Currently, we are covered this week and pretty much next week. God has been faithful to bring people my way, and His hands are all over what's happened so far. I always love watching God work out all the little details 🙂 Lisa NM

--Shortcuts:
WANNA READ THE ARCHIVES AND CATCH UP ON WHAT YOU'VE BEEN MISSING??? GO TO:----> http://welovegod.org/mimerdesk/ Sign in or join up and then sign in..... Under my groups, click on HomesteadHeaven. Then under latest email messages you can click on any message and read. Once on any message there is a link at the top of the message to go to threads by date.

--
Associate.com - THE Place to Associate! http://welovegod.org Is Your E-mail Group Here? Visit http://associate.com/faq/your-list-here.shtml